- Kim Seo Yul -

Yong Guk and Junhong had started promoting their song, Never Give Up, on early December 2011. The Planning Team also gave Junhong a stage name, Zelo that had taken from God of Rivalry name, Zelos. It was Yong Guk that suggested the name since Junhong had strong desire to prove him self just like Yong Guk. So, Yong Guk and Junhong were promoting under the name Bang Yong Guk and Zelo.

The public received the song well enough. The company got some invitations for promoting Bang & Zelo on shows other than the regular music shows. And I was surprised to find some invitations to promote on overseas. I gave them to the staffs for dealing the invitation with the promotion team on the respective countries. Yong Guk also had become part of MBC’s Lulu Lala casts. The show itself got aired 9 days after the single got released.

MTV also showed their interest on B.A.P and spoke out their intention to have the group on one of their program. So, I would need to meet their creative production team for discussing about the show along with the Planning team. I met them on the next day before the lunch time at the café on MTV Korea’s office building. I had gone there for several times so I knew the place well enough.

On the middle of the meeting, my phone vibrated. I took it from the table and lowered it to my lap. I looked at it. The name Kim Seo Hee was displayed on the screen. I became silent for a while when I saw that name on my phone screen.

Kim Seo Hee was my younger sister. She was 2 years younger than me. Actually I was close with her. When I was still working on my previous office, I talked a lot with her and shared almost everything with her. We shared a lot of common on fashion or in likings. We even shared our clothes since we had the same size. But since I joined TS Entertainment and moved to the central Seoul, I talked less to her. Mostly it was because of my job. But then, I couldn’t answer her call since I was in the middle of an important meeting. So, I rejected the call.

I raised my gaze to the producers. “Sorry,” I said to them as I smiled. “Can you repeat the concept idea again, please?”

The producer agreed and repeated his explanation for the second. But I felt that my phone vibrated again. I took a peek on the phone under the table since I held the phone on my lap. It was Seo Hee again. I was afraid that I would make the producer feel offended if I cut him off and picked the phone. So, I quickly rejected the call for the second time then looked up to the producer and listened to his explanation.

Then, another call came. I took a peek and it was Seo Hee again. I slid the reject symbol on my phone screen under the table as I crossed my feet and leaned on my seat. When we started discussing the concept, I heard the sound of message received on my phone. I looked down to my phone and found 1 new message for me. I touched the screen to open the message. Somehow, I knew that it was from Seo Hee.

‘Why don’t you pick up my call? I need to talk with you. Important.’

It was the text message that I received from Seo Hee. I released a sigh. I knew that she would send the message after I rejected her call 3 times. It was our habit. We ever made a promise to send message instead of calling whenever one of us rejected the call or didn’t pick up the call. I lowered my other hand under the table and replied the message.

‘I’m in the middle of a meeting. Will call you later.’

And I touched the send button to send the message. Then, I looked up to the producer and could concentrate to the meeting. I knew that Seo Hee would wait until the meeting finished.

As I had promised earlier, I called Seo Hee after the meeting finished. I took an excuse to go to the toilet for calling Seo Hee. The Planning team and the production team from MTV were still talking as I went to the toilet. On the way there, I stopped and took out my phone to call Seo Hee. I dialed her number and waited until she picked up my phone.

“Hello.” Seo Hee finally picked up the phone.

“It’s me. What’s the matter?” I asked her.

“Why did you reject my calls?” She asked me in return.

“Yah, have I told you that I was in the middle of a meeting?” I scolded her. “I feel bad if I have to interrupt him and pick up your call.”

“Why not? You could tell him that it was a very important call,” Seo Hee said casually.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head slightly to hear what she said. Seo Hee always talked carelessly toward me. I remembered that Seo Hee always acted selfish in the front of me. She was also fierce and loved to slap or pinch me whenever she felt huffed. I hated her the most when she started to slap me or pinch me. I actually called her ‘The Queen of the House’ because of her selfishness. She always could get whatever she wanted through her friends. She also could force me to borrow her money or to buy her something. She knew that I never could refuse my siblings’ requests even though I acted as if I was refused her request. I always remembered that my co-workers on my previous office called me a good daughter since I put my family in the top of everything and also a coward Unnie since I was afraid with my sister. But then, Seo Hee was the pacifier between me and Jun Yong because I always clashed with Jun Yong in everything.

“Aish, you know that I cannot do that,” I told Seo Hee then leaned on the wall. “So, what’s your business to call me?”

“Heee, so I can’t call you now?” She seemed to complain.

“Anniya. I still have many things to do back at the office. You know that Samchon’s company has new artists, right? I’m the one that handle them. So, I need to come back there as soon as possible.”

“But this is lunch break time.”

“I’m with my co-workers right now,” I said.

“Heee…,” She protested. “So, can we meet later after you finished with your work, Unnie? It’s a very important matter.”

I sighed softly. I knew that Seo Hee would be persistent until I said yes.

“Pleaseee….” She begged.

I exhaled again as I gave up. “Okay,” I replied.

I could hear her cheered. “Okay,” she said. “Then I’ll meet you on Myungdong at 7pm tonight. You. Must. Come.”

“Yae,” I replied.

“Okay then. See you later, Unnie.” She hung up after that without hearing my reply.

I lowered my phone and exhaled. Seriously, I felt lazy. But I had promised to meet her and I didn’t want to hear Seo Hee’s nagging if I didn’t come. So, I must come.

And that was why I drove my car to Myungdong shopping district. Seo Hee was working at HSBC office on Myungdong as a secretary. She didn’t live around her office but traveled back and fro from Nowon to Jung-gu everyday. She was working there along with our Aunt, Kim Ha-na. I was working there too for some times before I got a job on my previous office.

On Myungdong, I parked my car on a parking lot. Seo Hee sent me the place’s name where we would meet earlier. I recognized the café since I often went there when I was still working on my previous office. I was working around Myungdong too before and I often went to the café with Seo Hee before we came home together.

I entered the café looked around to find Seo Hee. I found her sitting on the table inside along with a guy. They were talking and looked intimate. But of course they would be because that guy was her boyfriend. I knew him since I had met him for many times before. His name was Nam Shi Kyung and he worked as a technical engineering manager on a communication company. He was a smart guy and reliable. Our family often came to him for helping around at the house.

I walked there and Seo Hee looked at me with pouting lips. She did that because I was late for 30 minutes.

“Sorry, I’m late,” I said before she could say anything. I sat on the chair across of them.

“Are you really that busy at your office?” Seo Hee asked.

“I think I’ve told you about the new duo that just released their single, right? That duo is part of the new group that will be debuted next year. There are many things to prepare for their debut.”

“But you’re a team leader now,” Seo Hee said, half complaining. “You have staffs to do your work.”

“But I was appointed to handle them personally.” I gave her my reason.

“I still wonder why you become workaholic now,” Seo Hee said.

“Seo Hee.” Shi Kyung quickly cut in before Seo Hee could say anything.

Seo Hee quickly looked at her boyfriend.

“We invited your sister not for debating, remember?” Shi Kyung reminded her.

Seo Hee seemed to understand even though she was a little bit pouting.

“So, what’s the matter?” I asked.

Seo Hee looked brighter after I asked the question. Her face blushed too and she seemed to be shy about something. Somehow, I had a feeling that I wouldn’t like what she would say next.

“Actually, Shi Kyung proposed me yesterday.”

My gaze went down to her finger and I noticed that there was a ring on her finger. But I smiled to hear the news. “Congratulation,” I congratulate her. But why did I feel a little bit jealous with her?

She smiled widely. “Thank you,” she said. “And we invited you here to ask whether it was fine for you if we’re getting married before you.”

Ah, so, she was asking my permission to get married before me. Personally I didn’t mind about it. Eomma always told me that I was not supposed to be a barrier for my younger siblings to achieve their own happiness in love. Eomma always told me that it was fine for them to get married before me. I also told Eomma that I was fine if they were married before me. But then, why did I feel a little bit disappointed?

But I had to swallow my disappointment so I smiled. “Sure,” I said. “I guess its fine for me.”

Seo Hee looked happy with it. I just smiled to see her happiness.

But as I saw her, I was thinking whether I would be able to find my own love. Until today, I still hadn’t found someone that could make me feel like what I had felt for Choi Min-gyu seonsaengnim. And Seo Hee would be married soon. I also knew that Jun Yong had his own girlfriend too. So, I was worried with my self.

Would I ever find my own love? Would I be able to get married? Or would I be single for the rest of my life and never get married? Those were the questions that hung around my mind as I drove back to my own place.

When I reached my apartment, I the light and raised my gaze. I looked at my living room. It was so quiet. And somehow, I felt lonely. I released a sigh then walked in. I walked toward the sofa and dropped my bag on the floor beside the sofa. I turned and dropped my self to the sofa. I looked at the ceiling and thought that probably I would stay single for my whole life as I couldn’t find someone that I loved. But then, why did I feel that my life seem miserable?

I exhaled then raised my self from the sofa. I guessed I’d better not to think about it or to let it bothering me. I was fine with my life and I would be fine with it. It was the path that I had chosen.

I walked toward my stereo set and turned it on. The MP3 program inside was played as soon as I turned it on. A song was played. It was a song from a Japanese group that I liked. Somehow, whenever I heard the song, I felt comfortable. It felt like I could find a new hope whenever I listened to the song. So, I put the song on the repeat mode and I turned the volume louder. I walked toward my room. But before I reached my room’s door, I heard the door bell ring.

I stopped and looked at the front door. I didn’t think that I was waiting for someone right now. But I was curious who had come in the night like this. I went to my front door and opened the door. I didn’t even bother to check on my intercom.

But it was Yong Guk who came.

- Bang Yong Guk -

I looked around after I rang the door bell of Seo Yul’s apartment. Seo Yul’s apartment door was facing to an open balcony. When I saw her apartment building before, I thought the tenant doors would be facing to each other. But I was wrong. It was an open balcony. But then, the view from Seo Yul’s front door was good. I could see part of the park near her apartment building.

I looked back to the door as I heard the door open. Seo Yul appeared behind the door with her clueless look.

“Yong Guk?”

I smiled to see her. “Annyeonghaseyo,” I greeted her.

But she looked confuse as she tilted her head. “What are you doing here?”

It was my turn to feel confused when I heard Seo Yul’s question. This morning, she was asking me to come to her place to show her the lyric that I made for B.A.P’s title song. She always checked my lyrics first before I showed them to the producers. Probably she was afraid that I would write something which made our songs listed on the banned songs. But she was in hurry since she would need to go to MTV’s office for a meeting at that time and she knew that I would have schedules for Bang & Zelo since the noon. So, she asked me to come to her place at night after I had done with my schedule. But it seemed that Seo Yul had forgotten the appointment.

“You were asking me to come to your place for the title song's lyric, remember?” I reminded her.

She seemed to think for a while. Then, I noticed that her face become brighter. It seemed that she had remembered.

“Ah, right,” she said. “I forget about that. Sorry.” She pushed the door wider, allowing me to come inside. “Come in.”

I smiled as I stepped in. I found that it was amusing to see Seo Yul had forgotten an appointment with me. She must be had a lot of things on her mind right now.

Seo Yul closed the door behind me and walked in before me. I looked at her as I took off my shoes. Seo Yul was still using her work outfit. It seemed that she just got back. I also noticed a song was played from inside.

“You just got back?” I asked as I walked up to the higher floor.

Seo Yul turned to see me. “Ah, yes.” She looked at her living room then looked back at me. “Please have a seat first.”

I nodded at her. Seo Yul walked toward the sofa. I saw her took her bag from there and walked toward a door across the front door beside an upright piano. I guessed it was her room. I looked around as I stepped in. There was a small cupboard filled with shoes and also a storage room door near the front door. As I came out from the front corridor, I arrived at the living room.

It was my first time to see Seo Yul's apartment. Her place was neat and comfortable. But it was something that I had expected from Seo Yul. The place was dominated with white and natural color with some black color. The living room was on the right side. Her sofa was white with black coffee table. A low table was placed there too for TV and stereo set with a tall shelf next to it. The song was played from that stereo set. There was a low fence to separate the front corridor and the part where she put the TV and stereo set. On the top of it, she put small crystal decorations.

Next on the living room, there was a kitchen and dining room. The kitchen was neat with a pantry table. The dining table looked classy yet simple. There was a door leading to I didn’t know where on the kitchen.

I looked to the left and I saw working desk on the far right along with book shelves, simple mixing set and computer. I guessed that part was her working space. But there was a big window there. I could imagine that Seo Yul would like to take a look outside the window whenever she was tired. There was another door on the side. I was guessing that it was either bathroom or another room behind that door.

I smiled to see the place then walked to the sofa and sat there. When I sat on the sofa, the song was repeated. It seemed that Seo Yul was putting the song on the loop so it was repeated itself. But then, I realized that the song was a Japanese ballad song. I knew it was a Japanese song since I learned Japanese language too as part of our debut preparation. But then to hear the song was on the loop, I guessed that it was Seo Yul’s favorite song.

“Sorry for making you wait.”

I looked up when I heard the voice. Seo Yul was coming out from her room with more casual clothes. She walked toward the door on the kitchen and opened it. It was a slide door. Seo Yul was putting the clothes that she brought with her on the place. It seemed that that room was the room for washing clothes. Seo Yul closed the door again and walked to the stereo set then turned off the song.

“Is that your favorite song?” I asked as she turned off the stereo set.

She looked at me and smiled. “Yeah,” she said then walked toward the sofa. “But not really.” She sat on the sofa near me. She put her phone on the table. "I'm just in the mood to listen onto it."

I remembered that Jiyoung hyung told me that Seo Yul always listened to the music depending to her mood. It made me wonder on what her mood for today. But before I could ask anything about her mood, she looked at me and smiled.

“So, where’s the lyric that you want to show me?” She asked with her cheerful attitude.

I guessed it was a signal that I supposed not to ask anymore. “Wait a moment,” I said then took my backpack. I opened it and took my notebook. I put my backpack on the floor then opened my book. I was looking the lyric that I had made. After I found it, I gave it to Seo Yul. “Here you go.”

Seo Yul took the book and read the lyric that I had made. I looked at her as she read the lyric. She was using over-sized t-shirt with a tanktop inside and long pants. Her long hair was tied. She looked very homely. But I found that she was sweet when she looked like this. I quickly bit my lower lip as I felt the urge to smile. But I still wondered on what kind of mood that she had for today. That song that she heard earlier was a ballad song. Even though I wasn't into ballad song, I found that song was a sweet ballad song. Perhaps Seo Yul knew the song meaning better than I did since she was better than me or even than Hyo Sung nunna in Japanese language. But when I heard the song earlier, I felt that the song seemed saddening and comforting on the same time. Somehow, I was afraid that she was feeling sad because of her past love again.

But then, the humming sound that Seo Yul made was taking me back to reality. I looked back at her.

“It’s good,” she said then looked up to see me. But I felt that she seemed unsatisfied with something. “But did you make Junhong’s part too?”

I realized that it wasn't the right time to worry about Seo Yul. “Yeah.”

She put the book down to the table, facing me. “Which part that his and which part that yours?”

I took out a pen from my bag then started to mark my parts and also Junhong’s parts. When I was done, Seo Yul moved her body forward and moved to sit on the carpet below. It seemed that she was more comfortable to sit on the floor than on the sofa.

"Hum…," she hummed as she read the lyric again. She looked as if she was considering what I had written for Junhong's part. "Did you considered Junhong's age when you wrote the lyric?" She raised her gaze to me.

"Not really," I replied her. "I just wrote what I want to write."

"I guess you have to consider about it too," she said. "Junhong is still 16 years old. If you're using difficult words for his parts, I'm afraid that he will have difficulties to understand his part."

I understood what she meant. "Ah," I said. "So, I will need to simplify the words for his parts, right?"

She smiled gently and nodded. "You're right."

I just nodded. "I'll try to check it again," I said as I took my book.

"Okay," she said.

"But…"

She looked back at me when she heard my word.

"The song that you listened earlier," I said. "Is that a Japanese song?"

She smiled gently and nodded. "Yes, it is."

"What's the title?"

"Kimi ga Iru Kara by EXILE," she said.

"It seems good. What's the song about?"

Seo Yul seemed to think for a while. "Hmm… It's about thanking for someone's presence beside us. And because of that someone, we can surpass every obstacle that lies in the future." She explained but seemed to feel unsure. "I guess it is the song's meaning."

"The song seems good."

She smiled. "It is good," she said. "I like to listen onto it whenever I feel down and hopeless. I just feel that the lyric is giving me hope somehow." She dropped her gaze to the book.

Her words made my heart dropped. I had a feeling that something had happened to Seo Yul.

"What has happened?" I asked.

Seo Yul raised her gaze to look at me then shook her head. "Ah, nothing serious," she said then dropped her gaze again. "I just met my sister earlier."

But somehow her behavior told me that something from her meeting with her sister had made her bothered.

"She is getting married," she said.

I knew it was a happy occassion. But when I saw her expression, somehow I couldn't say congratulation. She looked a little bit sad and depressed.

"But it's not something that you need to worry about," she said, trying to cheer her self. "Let's get back to work." She looked back to the book.

I just looked at her. I guessed the fact that her younger sister would be married before her was bothering her.

I was the youngest child on my family so it wouldn't bother me a lot. But I guessed for Seo Yul, it could be a problem. She was the oldest child on her family and she had reached her 30's yet still single. Having a younger sister who would get married before her probably would be trampled her pride.

"Why didn't you tell your sister to postpone her marriage if you feel objection with her marriage before you?"

Seo Yul looked up to me when she heard my question. She seemed surprise to hear my question but she didn't feel angry or offended with my question.

"Ah, that..." She dropped her gaze again. "I don't want to be an obstacle for my younger siblings' happiness. If they already find someone that they love and want to spend their life with, I think it's fine for them to get married before me."

"But you feel bothered with it, right?"

She looked at me as she gave me her gentle smile. "But I can't be selfish, right?"

Her words had made me silent. Somewhere deep inside my heart, I felt guilty because I had given a selfish question.

"Beside, I was just thinking whether I'll be single like this forever or when I will be able to love again," she said. "But every action has its own concequences. I had asked for my heart to stop falling in love so I know my siblings will find their happiness before me." She paused and continued with softer voice, "So, I will have to accept it."

I just looked at her. I had realized that I sounded selfish. I felt guilty because of it. My words earlier made me look like I was immature. I always knew that Seo Yul was a nice person. She always put others on the top of her own needs. I dropped my head.

"I'm so sorry," I told her.

"It's fine," she said.

At that moment, I also realized that Seo Yul's heart was frozen after her first love had failed. Seo Yul had loved too deep till she asked to stop loving. She was hurting so deep.

But on the same time, I was determined to cure her heart. As someone who had loved her, I was determined to melt her frozen heart and made her to love again. I didn't care how long it would take. But I just wanted her to be able to love again.

Somehow, I know that I will be able to do it.

---

Please remember that this fic is using Korean Age system which is +1 year from the International Age system.

And it's just a work of fiction. So don't trust the timeline too much.

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