The sun had already set and the fading purplish glow the dying sun gave out peeked through the hotel window. It had been a simple afternoon filled with a magical turn of events. They both had taken a nap; they were both exhausted but exhilarated at the same time. Khun had woken up first and could not help but marvel at the beauty beside him, sleeping serenely, completely radiant and peaceful. He smiled inwardly as he ran his index finger across the smooth surface of her , tracing her spine downwards. He could not get enough of her—her being, her soul, her physical attributes…all of her. And all he could do was watch her in her unconscious perfection. She was lying on her stomach, and though she said she would leave right after they were done, she inevitably fell into slumber in his arms. The ring his mother had given her shone majestically around her pretty finger—it looked right in place; it did not look better anywhere else had another girl been wearing it. Moments flit by, and soon Victoria fluttered her eyelids open.

“Hi.” Khun whispered.

Victoria stretched and realized that she was supposed to go back to their dorm hours ago. She sat up jerkily.

“What time is it?” she gasped.

“It’s past 6pm, relax.”

“I told my manager I’d be home by 4.”

“Well it’s not like you’ve never disobeyed him.”

Good point, she thought. She covered herself with the blanket, realizing that she was as as a newborn baby. She didn’t know why but suddenly she felt embarrassed being in front of him.

“What’s wrong?” Khun almost smiled.

“Nothing. Don’t look at me. Where’s my underwear?”

She struggled to wrap herself with the duvet covers as she reached the floor for the pieces of her clothes. She reached for her and hid under the blanket. Like a ninja, she wore it with a speed of lightning. Khun pulled the blanket off her. She gave a tiny yelp and covered herself with her arms.

“I’ve seen you a lot more than that. What’s with you?” he said.

“It’s different now. We’re not…together anymore.”

“Come here.”

Khun pulled her beside him and kissed her forehead.

“After all the exhibition you did, you’re shy now?” he joked.

Victoria hit him in the chest and got up to pick up her clothes. Khun laughed like a hyena. He always knew what the advantages of her flexibility were; yet she was too embarrassed to talk about it after .

“I’m kidding, come back to bed.” He told her.

“No, I really have to go. This doesn’t mean we’ve made up right? I mean that wasn’t make-up right?”

“What do you mean it wasn’t make-up ? If I counted correctly we made up three times.”

Victoria threw her shoe at him, which he had blocked right on time.

“No, this is…forgiveness . Acceptance .” She panted as she buttoned up her jeans.

Khun picked up his boxers and slipped in it. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched her get dressed in front of him. He looked like a little boy pleading his mother with his eyes not to go to work as he observed her putting back clothes on piece by piece.

“Can you zip me?” she said, turning her back to reveal her half-zipped top. Khun stood up and began zipping it back down.

“UP!” she barked.

“Oh.” He said mockingly, and zipped it the right way.

She turned to him, making a face. He was smoldering at her, trying to make her all fuzzy inside. He did this every time he wanted something from her. Most of the time it worked.

“What do you want?” she sighed.

“Stay for the night.”

“You know I can’t. Plus it’s impossible—your family is upstairs and this is a hotel. People will know.”

He frowned and pouted.

“That won’t work, Buck.”

He loved it when she called him by his second name.

She gathered her stuff and put her bag over her shoulder.

“I’m going. Behave and be a good boy.” She said as he walked her to the door. She intended to kiss him on the cheek only but Khun was an impish boy and predictably turned his head so that she accidentally kissed his lips.

“Oh so immature.” Victoria rolled her eyes and went out the door.

They were both sure that they weren’t back together—not officially that is. But at least now they reached a certain understanding that neither of them can be apart from each other. They don’t know what they are as of the moment, but they knew whom they belonged to.

The following day, f(x) had to guest on a radio show with Super Junior as the radio hosts. However, one of the guests was Ryeowook and Kyuhyun. Victoria dreaded the awkwardness that would take place. She couldn’t tell her members about it because telling them would mean having to get into the details of her recent life. She decided to be professional all about it and talk to him if she was forced to. The odd thing was she sat right across him, so that it was instant eye to eye for them. Victoria felt like shrinking in her seat. She wanted the show to be over as soon as possible.

When the show began Leeteuk and Eunhyuk asked various personal questions like usual. There were laughs here and there, and Victoria laughed along to hide her uneasiness. Kyuhyun looked the same but he looked more at ease, as if she did not exist in the room. She felt invisible.

“Victoria-ssi.” Leeteuk called her attention.

“Yes?”

“How do you feel that Nichkhun and you have already ended the marriage?”

Her members gloated at her. Victoria forced a smile. Of all the opportunities to ask about Nichkhun, why now, she thought, trying to avoid facing Kyuhyun.

“Uhm…of course I feel sad. We became closer through the months we’ve filmed together. He was a very caring husband so, I will miss being with him.” She replied professionally.

“Do you still contact each other?” he further asked.

Body contact, a hell lot, she laughed mentally.

“Not so much.” She smiled.

“Ooh. So while we’re on the topic of love lives, our Super Junior members should be answering these too!” Leeteuk steered the attention on Ryeowook and Kyuhyun on the other side.

“Ryeowook, what is your view on love? Do you have a girlfriend?” Eunhyuk asked loudly.

“Me? I don’t know much about it. I’ve never had a girlfriend so I can’t say much.” He said shyly. The f(x) members laughed in chorus.

“What about you Kyuhyun, you’ve had crushes here and there right?”

“Yes, I’ve had laid eyes on certain girls before.” He said in his low, brooding voice.

Victoria slightly squirmed in her seat. She felt her face turning hot. She hoped to god the others could not feel the tension she was feeling.

“So have you experienced love before?” Eunhyuk asked in a dramatic, greasy voice.

F(x) members shrieked with laughter and giggles, making fun of how Eunhyuk delivered his line.

“Oppa, so greasy!” Luna complained.

“No, we’re properly asking our dear maknaes about love. Surely our Kyuhyun would know about it.” Eunhyuk reasoned.

“Well yeah, I have. I’ve felt it now and then, it goes and it comes back, sort of like that.” Kyuhyun said, smiling.

Victoria wasn’t sure what he was feeling. Was he not perturbed sitting across her at all? How could he act so cool and confident with these questions?

“Oh so how many girls have you actually had feelings for?” Leeteuk butted in.

“I don’t really keep count.” Kyuhyun replied and had everyone in the booth laughing, except Victoria who merely smiled.

“Okay we get it, you like a lot of girls. He’s indeed the evil maknae. But we’re talking about love. How many girls have you loved?”

Kyuhyun pursed his lips and took one quick but definite glance at Victoria—an eternal moment permitted them to meet eyes, see each other’s souls. His electric gaze seemed to pierce right through her heart.

Probably couldn't keep count as well, Leeteuk thought.

“One.” Kyuhyun replied curtly, after he met eyes with the girl sitting across him. 

Victoria wanted to bury herself and never come back to earth again. After the most excruciating hour and a half of her life had ended, something inside her wanted her to go up to Kyuhyun, tell him something, but she didn’t know what exactly. She missed her friend badly and it pained her to see their state like this—avoiding each other like neither existed.

After the usual photo taking in the radio booth, Kyuhyun left first and Victoria knew why. She approached Ryeowook instead.

“How’s Kyuhyun?” she asked.

“Why? Are you guys mad at each other or something?” he asked in return.

“Something like that.”

“He’s fine. I don’t notice anything wrong with him lately.”

“That’s good to hear.”

Victoria felt an overwhelming sense of relief. She felt better knowing that he wasn’t much affected by their broken friendship like she was.

Days passed quickly and dizzyingly with a whirlwind of schedules that Victoria and Khun had to attend separately. They did not contact each other during this time since they both understood that at a crucial time like this, there was a valid reason why they broke up—they did not have time for each other; there is absolutely no exaggeration in this. F(x) just had their comeback and had promoted a new full album which meant double the schedules and performances. They had a maximum of two hours sleep; this was normal for any idol group. Because their popularity is still growing, they have been offered magazine spread photoshoots, CFs, variety show appearances, radio shows, fan signings and at least three performances a week in between. They sneaked in a few minutes of sleep in car rides, in salons, and in waiting rooms that Victoria did not even know what day it was, what time it was and so on. Khun was occupied himself. He was all over variety shows and was asked to appear for a cameo role in a drama. Sometimes he did not sleep at all. At times like these, he could not wait to retire.

“Unnie, are you and Khun oppa back together?” Krystal asked as she browsed through the internet.

“No. We’re not anything at the moment.” She replied.

“So I’m guessing his tattoo is a sign that he’s rebelling then.”

Victoria bolted upright from her bed and looked at Krystal with an incoherent expression. Krystal pointed at her laptop screen and Victoria hurried to her side.

It was an article along with a photo of Khun’s new tattoo. It was placed on his nape, on the upper back. It was something in Thai:

ชัยชนะ

“Is he crazy?” she said in disbelief. She was one who did not believe in body modifications. She took Khun as someone who was like her, who treasured and valued his body like a sensible young man. Victoria snatched her phone and went outside. She hastily dialed his number.

“Wow look who decided to call.” He greeted.

“Are you out of your mind?” she immediately reprimanded.

“Is that a real question?”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this? Scarring your skin for life? What got into you? And you supposed it’s better for me to find out through the internet instead of just telling me?”

“Calm down—“

“No I won’t calm down, don’t ‘calm down’ me, Buck. Why didn’t you tell me you were getting a tattoo? Seeing as I’m not officially your girlfriend anymore but—“

“Wait why are you so concerned?”

“Why? Why? WHY?”

Khun had to distance his phone from his ear for a second.

“What would your kids say? What example would you show them? Inking your skin for life. What would your grandchildren say, what would it look like when you’re old and wrinkly…”

As Khun half-listened to Victoria’s ongoing and endless rage about why he did not ask permission, he realized this was exactly how a real normal girlfriend would react. Getting mad and furious over something he did without her consent was a classic cause of fights in relationships. Weirdly, Khun liked it. He felt like she owned him somehow.

“Vic calm down. My mom approves of it.”

“Oh your mom approves. So I suppose if she approves something stupid you do it’s okay?”

“Alright, I’m sorry I didn’t ask you first. I didn’t think you’d care.”

Victoria sighed loudly and touched her throbbing temple. Her head ached from all the ranting she’d done. She was sure she felt a vein pop. She did not like the idea of him doing big things like this without telling her. She didn’t like knowing about it through the internet. He was, after all, the love of her life and she felt she had the right to know firsthand what extreme things he’s been doing. But she could not blame him either; even if he wanted to ask her she wouldn’t have the time of day to entertain his interests in body ink.

“I’m sorry, I just…I get upset when I’m not told about things like this. I mean, a tattoo…that’s something serious.” She said in a calm manner now.

“I know. I know what I’m doing, I’m not a teenager you know.”

“It’s not like you to do this though.”

“Everyone’s been saying that. Why, because of my image? That I’m clean-cut and pure?”

“Well I don’t know about the pure part…”

“I’m making a statement. That Nichkhun can rebel too.”

“Well it’s your life. I’m not in it.” She groaned in surrender.

“Next time I’ll ask you first, when it comes to things like this.”

“What is it anyway? Your tattoo?”

“Something in Thai.”

“Well what does it mean?”

There was a slight pause, because Khun had to smile a little bit before answering her.

“Victory. “ he simply said.

“Hmm.” Victoria merely said.

Although it wasn’t illegal to have a tattoo in Khun’s agency, it was foreboded and frowned upon. 2PM had a manly and beastly image but their company did not encourage radical appearances, like having tattoos. Out of all the 2PM members, Khun was the last person everyone thought would get a tattoo.

“Man, I’m jealous. If I get one too every one of us will be getting one as well. JYP would flip .” Taec said as the 2PM members worked out together in the gym.

“Khun hyung really changed lately.” Junho said loudly so that Khun would hear over his weightlifting.

“Victoria didn’t take it very well.” He groaned as his sweat poured.

The five members all simultaneously dropped their dumbbells, spat out their water, fell down from the exercise ball, and slipped from the treadmill. It was the first time in a long while since he mentioned her name.

“You’re back together?” Junsu asked, clearly overcome with shock.

“Not really. But something happened—“

“?” Taec helped him out.

Khun sort of smiled but dared not to. “Yeah something like that.”

“Why are you getting laid so much hyung?” Chansung said with heavy jealousy.

“My ears.” Wooyoung whined, making an ugly face.

“I didn’t plan for it to happen. We just spent time with my family and things got out of hand and…next thing we knew we were doing it in my hotel room.” Khun said like it was no big deal.

“Victoria, Yoona. Victoria, Yoona. Make up your mind, Casanova!” Junho said.

“Who do you think?” Khun asked but the answer was so obvious.

“The one better in bed?” Chansung said jokingly and Khun threw a towel at him.

“Guys, don’t joke about her like that.” Khun said, smiling and turning red.

“Why, are the scratch marks on your back too much of a giveaway?” Taec laughed and the others followed, making Khun redder in the face.

“Guys, I’m serious. I’m marrying this girl.” Khun said confidently. That shut everybody up.

“But not now…right?” Wooyoung gaped.

“Of course not now. I’m just saying she’s reserved. When the time comes, I will propose to her.”

“Khun I hate to break it to you but…we have a contract that we’ll be celebrities for a long time and by the time we're not bound to it…someone else might come along.” Taec said.

“Nope. You guys wouldn’t understand us.” Khun gave up explaining.

It was true; no one would understand how he and Victoria felt for each other. They both spoke and communicated in a foreign language, their cultural backgrounds are extremely different yet there was something that connected them in ways that words cannot. He felt comfortable with their love, in their difference and in their relationship. He was familiar with her flaws and ugly traits. This was much more than others can comprehend.

“That’s a very serious statement, Khun.” JYP’s voice startled everyone.

Everyone turned around and found their boss leaning against the door, arms crossed. Who knew JYP would know how to eavesdrop.