“We apologize for this. It won’t happen again.” Minjae said to the head security as he bowed down in a hurried way. Khun had apologized to the staff as well, followed by Kyuhyun and Super Junior’s manager. The cause of this commotion had the staff in the entire building buzzing, the story completely distorted and blown out of proportion.

“I heard Nichkhun and Kyuhyun had a fist fight! Kyuhyun broke a bone apparently.”

“They were fighting about popularity.”

“I heard Nichkhun disrespected his sunbae.”

“Kyuhyun apparently beat Nichkhun to a pulp.”

Within a day, the story reached Victoria. She did not take it too well.

“Unnie. Did you hear?” Sulli whispered as soon as she entered the van. They were one their way back to the dorm from their performance recording.

“Heard what?” Victoria said, quite uninterested.

“Word has it that Kyuhyun oppa and Khun oppa fought in the elevator earlier today and it was caught on security camera. However the security personnel are denying this but the MBC staff know better.”

The truth was that the managers compromised with the entire MBC security to keep this thing under the lid if they paid a certain fine. The security staff agreed to keep this mum, but word spread like fire. No one knows the whole story except the people involved. Victoria raised her eyebrows, looking at Sulli dubiously.

“Why were they fighting?” she asked, a hint of worry in her face.

“No one knows exactly. But someone said Kyuhyun oppa took the first blow. Khun appa gave the first hit. Scandalous, isn’t it?” Sulli gushed excitedly as if it was the best news she has ever heard all year.

“Well, where is Kyuhyun now?” Victoria continued her worried fit.

“Manager oppa took him back home I bet.” Sulli replied.

“I have to see him.”

After much persuading, Victoria managed to convince her manager to drop her off at Super Junior’s dorm. She did not want to go back to this place, not after what happened the previous night, but she had to. She rang the doorbell to their dorm and Kyuhyun answered it.

“Kyuhyun-ah.” She gasped as she saw the bruise on the corner of his lip.

Kyuhyun pulled her inside and led her to his room once again.

Without hesitation, he hugged her.

“I’m sorry.” He said.

“For what?” her hands automatically caressed his back.

Kyuhyun let go and faced her.

“I told Nichkhun about what happened last night.” He said flatly.

“YOU WHAT?”

“It sort of slipped! I was angry and I wanted to hit him—“

“What do you mean slipped? Why would you be angry at him?”

“Look, we both just don’t trust each other right now. He obviously wants you back and I don’t like the way he has treated you—“

“Kyuhyun.”

Victoria cut him off midsentence and paced the room with her hand on . She could not handle this much.

“I’m sorry I really didn’t mean to let it slip. My anger got the better of me.” He further defended.

“Is that why he hit you? Because you told him?” she asked, on the verge of insanity.

“Yes, probably.”

“Did you hit him back?”

“Yeah.”

“How did this even start anyway? Ugh!”

“I told you, I was mad. The moment he entered the elevator I was already fuming. You know how protective I am of you.”

Victoria heaved a heavy sigh and put both her hands gently on Kyuhyun’s pale face.

“I know your intentions are good. I thank you for feeling protective of me but know that I can stand up for myself too. I can handle things myself and I don’t need others interfering with my life.” She told him in a calming voice. Kyuhyun was almost hyperventilating from the nervousness.

Kyuhyun’s heart sank and he felt it shatter to a million pieces. He had always had good intentions for Victoria. He had nothing but concern for her, yet now he realized that she didn’t need him or his protection. He feared that he might soon be useless to her. As she was touching his bruise with ardent concern, he lifted up his hand to touch hers, pulling it away from his face.

“Why can’t you love me?” he found himself uttering the words.

Victoria was alarmed at the most straightforward question she was ever asked. She stared at him for a few seconds, thinking if he was asking a rhetorical question or not. She was unsure whether she should answer it or not. It felt as if she was being grilled. She found herself looking away.

“I do love you.”

“Not that kind.”

“You already why.”

“No I don’t. Why can’t you love me? I’ve been with you since you first came. I helped you with your first Korean words. I was there when you first cried because you were homesick. I was with you when you first spent your Christmas here. Don’t all those matter?”

“Kyuhyun, it’s not that they didn’t matter.”

By this time, Victoria holds Kyuhyun’s hands but he wouldn’t let her. He felt as if he was being patronized, being compensated for the feelings she could not return.

“Why can’t you love me, I’ll change for you.” He stuttered. He didn’t realize what he just said and found himself feeling pathetic and idiotic for saying it.

“I’m an idiot.” He forced a laugh.

She grabs both his wrists as his fingers turn into angry fists.

“Kyuhyun, look at me.” She said firmly.

He stopped lowering his head and faced her. It was painful to face the truth.

“I’m not the one for you. I love you, every fiber of you. But I’m not going to make you happy for the rest of your life. It’s not fair to you…and it’s not fair to me either.” She explained as best as she could without wanting to hurt him.

Kyuhyun forced a small smile again and was back to lowering his head.

“Then we can’t be friends.” He simply said.

Victoria feared for this to come. She felt her chest was going to explode from the pain and hurt she was feeling, but she knew it was probably the best idea, even though it hurt. She knew this would happen, but she kept clinging to the belief that everything would still work out with Kyuhyun. She had put so much faith in their friendship. She didn’t realize she was crying again. She’s been crying too much, and she hated it. She’s tired of crying. She wanted to run out of tears so that she wouldn’t have to cry anymore.

“I understand.” She said quietly, through quiet tears.

Kyuhyun nodded. She was about to walk away, but Kyuhyun made another statement.

“The thing that makes you cry right now is that you’re losing the best friend you’ve ever had.” He pointed out. She knew he was right of course.

“You let our friendship lose. But you let your heart win.” He said, as a period to his goodbye message. It was probably the saddest line she has ever heard someone say to her. She walked out the door and loathed herself.

It was bad enough that she lost her boyfriend, but losing Kyuhyun put her on the brink of madness. She had absolutely no choice but to abandon their sinking friendship. She would only continue to unintentionally hurt Kyuhyun by being his constant best friend, giving him false hopes. Maybe someday, when he has learned to move on and realize that she wasn’t for him, they will repair what they had lost. But for now, all she could do was to let him be.

As she got back in the van, she successfully wiped her tears and composed herself. Sulli noticed her dark aura.

“Unnie, you okay?” she asked.

“I’m fine.”

“Seriously, lately you’ve been really all emotional and dark. You need to stop being so sad. Stop crying and wallowing in sadness.” Sulli said, not sounding like the youngest at all.

“Because lately problems arise.” Victoria said.

“But you don’t have to dwell in them. You can cry but you don’t have to drag on for days being miserable and gloomy.”

“When the problems cause pain, it’s hard to be happy.”

“Well, I always believe that pain is inevitable but suffering…suffering is a choice.”

For the first time, Victoria felt defeated by someone younger than her. It was probably the best-sounding advice she has heard all her life.

“What do you mean…” Victoria’s voice sort of trailed off.

“It means, of course we all go through pain. But we have an option to go left or right. Left, where you wallow in misery and sadness, you pity yourself. Or, we go right where we make ourselves happy and forget the bad.” Sulli explained like a pro.

Victoria mulled over this thought during the entire ride. She has been through so much in span of months, and she felt so spiritually exhausted from all the crying and the whining. It’s true she did choose to wallow in sadness because she was drowning in it but she realized she could have chosen to be happy as well. She did not know whether to talk to Khun about Kyuhyun and her, but she felt like she shouldn’t care. First off, he did the same thing, except it wasn’t just one woman. Second, she didn’t want to worry about anything anymore. She was already crushed by Kyuhyun’s decision to cut ties with her; she did not want to worry about anything else. She wanted to put an end to everything negative in her life.

In her room back in their dorm, she couldn’t help but stare at Khun’s number in her phone. She has been fighting with herself whether or not to call him and ask how he was, after the alleged elevator incident. She still did not know what caused this and how it even began. Finally, she swallowed her pride and gave him a ring.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Khun.”

“Why?”

“I was going to ask about…what happened with Kyuhyun.”

There was an immediate pause. Silence hung in the air for a nanosecond.

“What about it?” he finally responded.

“Well, are you okay? I’ve seen what you did to him and was wondering how much worse he could do to you.”

“I just cut my lip, that’s all.”

He sounded worn out and tired. She felt like he has been through a lot today.

“What started it anyway?”

“You’re all he talks about, you should know that. I’m fine with it, until he started to insult me by saying how you had last night.”

Victoria closed her eyes. Hearing it from Khun felt so different. She felt so guilty somehow even though she shouldn’t be; he wasn’t her boyfriend anymore.

“I don’t really know what’s going on with your life right now or with you two but I did promise you I wasn’t going to get in the way. I promised I’d stand back right?” he said, trying to sound as calm as possible.

“But you hit him.”

“I’m not sorry that I did it, Vic. I mean, I’m sure he’s a swell guy on normal days but awhile ago he really tested my patience. I couldn’t stand the way he was talking about you.”

“You could’ve just gotten off the elevator you know.”

“I know. It just…it made me realize how you felt about me being with all those girls, you know? Standing there in front of a guy who just recently slept with you? I felt like a monster was coming out of me.”

“I’d never hit Yoona though.”

“Okay fine keep defending him. I don’t know what’s going on between you two. I’m not going to lie, it’s killing me and—“

“There’s nothing between us.”

“What do you mean, he just said…”

“It’s true what he said but we were both drunk. It just happened. “

“So it was because you were drunk?”

“Yes. And probably because I was mad at you for sleeping around.”

“Look I’m going to say this here on out and I’m only going to say this once just for the record. With all those women I did it with, I was thinking of you the whole time.”

“Khun I don’t know if I’d feel good or disgusted.”

“I’m sorry but that’s the truth.”

“Look what I was trying to say is that I don’t want any disparity between you and Kyuhyun. I don’t want to be the cause of this scandal.”

“Are you implying that I apologize?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“WHY NOT.”

“I’ll save you all the trouble here and say that neither of us will apologize. Period.”

“Fine. I’m hanging up now.”

“Wait.”

“What is it?”

“My mom and Cherleen are coming tomorrow. I was thinking of taking them to lunch. I want you to come. They’ve been asking me to take you.”

Victoria hesitated. She thought that if she were to spend time with Khun and his family, she will feel this huge attachment once again and have a hard time letting go. It’s hard on her, especially since she doesn’t get to see her family that often. She feared that when she has a great time with them tomorrow, which she will, she would die inside when it all has to end. But she did not have the heart to refuse her ex-boyfriend’s wonderful family.  Not in this lifetime.

“Sure. I’ll talk with my manager.”

“Good. See you then.”

“See you.”

“Oh and Vic.”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t ever get drunk again.”

“Pssh arasso.”

They both hung up. As she stared at the screen of her phone, she adored at the picture of her and Kyuhyun. It was her phone background and couldn’t help but smile at it. She wanted to talk to him, call him but she knew he wouldn’t take her call. She mustered up the courage and decided to do so anyway, knowing that she’ll only get the voice mail.

“Please leave a message.” Said the automated voice on the other line.

“Kyuhyun. I just want you to please take care of yourself. Stop playing video games too much. Don’t forget to eat on time. And those Hollywood drama movies that make you cry, stop watching them. They’re for women. I miss you already. I hope one day, we’ll be able to rebuild our friendship. I believe that. I love you.”

She then sadly replaced her phone wallpaper to a smiley face. She took note of what Sulli had said earlier. She can choose to be happy anytime. She stared at the photos she had with her two best guy friends that were on her wall. Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun. One already left.

The next morning after much talking to her manager of about her lunch out with Khun she felt extremely chipper. Her manager was in a good mood and got to spend an afternoon with the one person she misses most and his family. Khun told her he would pick her up first before they fetch his mom and sister at the airport. Victoria went into a mini panic, trying to figure out what to wear for the family date. She wanted to still look good even though she wasn’t the girlfriend anymore. Khun arrived early and she had to practically fly down the flight of stairs of their building.

“You’re early.” She told him as soon as she hopped in the car.

“Yeah I’m a little excited.” He said as he sped off straight away.

He was looking so handsome and cool with his sunglasses and his leather jacket. She sometimes forgets how attractive he was, how he makes her heart flutter and her stomach do somersaults just by looking at her.

“My mom doesn’t know we broke up.” He said.

“Why not?”

“I never told her.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to. She’ll ask a lot of questions and she’d be worried.”

“Well then, we can tell her later. I’m sure she’ll take it well.”

“Cherleen won’t take it well. She already wants you as her sister-in-law.”

“Will they take it well if I told them all about the women you slept with?”

There was a hint of bitterness in her voice even though she was just kidding him. Khun let out a fake nervous laugh.

“Ha-ha funny, please don’t joke about that.” He remarked.

She sniffed loudly.

“Your car smells like a mesh of different perfumes. Seriously Khun how many women did you bring home?” she asked exasperatedly, as if wanting to get out of the car. She was doing it on purpose, because she still had leftover hurt feelings. It will never go away. She took out her own perfume from her bag and sprayed all over his car like it was to ward off mosquitoes.

“There. Much better.” She said after much spraying.

She opened Khun’s compartment to look for his ipod but found something else. A pack of condoms. She angrily picked it up.

“Seriously! How many women!” she hissed, throwing one at him.

Her hissy fit was almost cute and funny, but her bitterness was real and it really did hurt her to be in there with him.

“Would you please stop rummaging through my stuff?” Khun closed the glove compartment with one hand, keeping his eyes on the road.

“I really want to hit you right now.” Victoria fumed, frowning like a spoiled princess.

“It’s okay, you can. Just as long as I can still drive.” Khun calmly replied.

Victoria gave herself five seconds before punching his arm really hard. Khun opened his mouth but no sound came out. It was pretty painful. She then rolled her eyes at him and turned the other way.

“That actually really hurt.” He grimaced, rubbing his arm.

“Good.”

He knew he deserved more, but he just kept quiet and let her be angry. He thought he was evil for finding her cute even at a time like this but he couldn’t help it. He was especially whenever she was mad at him. That little crinkle she had on her nose when she was annoyed—he loved it. Her aggregation towards him was all y to him. Suddenly she hit him once again, but this time it was continuous slaps on his arm. There’s that crinkle on her nose again.

“Ow! Ow!” he exclaimed, holding the wheel with only one arm.

“You insensitive jerk!” she said with every hit.

“Look, you can hit me and curse at me all you can later okay? Just not now, not while my mom and sister is here. I’ll let you do it later.”

Victoria crossed her arms and breathed fire.

“Fine. I’m doing this for your family.” She muttered.

Khun smiled and tickled her side like he used to.

“That’s a good girl.” He said as he poked her waist.

“Don’t touch me.”

Khun grabbed her hand and held it tight. She tried to snatch it back to no avail. He grasped her hand as if it belonged there in his.

“Just let me do this for a while. Like we did when I first confessed to you. Remember that night?” he said.

She did. She could remember it vividly. They were in that very car, with him driving, the city lights glowing in the night outside their windows. And he was holding her hand just like this. It was when they became official.

Her anger dissolved quickly when they arrived at the airport and saw his mom and sister. She could only say a few greetings and hugged both of them like they were her own.  Clearly Cherleen looked so happy to see her. His mom had bought a gift for her but told her not to open it until later. Victoria felt the happiest. Victoria gave Cherleen a copy of their new album, complete with signatures. Khun had picked out a savvy Chinese restaurant. They had a VIP room where they could stay so they had some privacy. They really did look like a real genuine family, except Khun had to be a translator once in a while.

“She looks so unhealthy now.” Khun’s mom told Khun about Victoria.

“She has been having a tough time.” He explained.

Victoria was clueless of course she did not know that they were talking about her.

“We broke up, by the way.” Khun added nervously.

“Oh? Why?”

“It’s complicated. We’re still good friends though. We still love each other.” He said, looking at Victoria lovingly. She was sipping noodles and looked back at Khun weirdly.

“Oh I see. I thought you two were getting married for real.”

“Who knows. Maybe.”

“Don’t tell Cherleen. She might wreak havoc.” His mom whispered while Victoria and Cherleen were busy looking through f(x)’s album.

After much talking and laughing, the time of separation has come. Khun and Victoria had to drop them off to the hotel, and though they were staying for two more days, Victoria won’t be able to spend time with them due to her busy schedule.

“Treasure this.” Khun’s mom told Victoria, referring to the small box she gave her. Victoria understood and nodded, before hugging her second mom.

Khun and Victoria took them to their hotel room, and said their goodbyes. Afterwards, Khun led her to another room, one floor down.

“Whose room is this?” she asked as they entered.

“Mine. I check in every time my family comes to visit. So I can be with them.” He said, setting his bag on the desk. Victoria clutched the small box and decided to open it. It was none other than a ring. A gold antique ring with a princess cut ruby as its stone. Victoria almost dropped it as soon as she saw it.

“Oh my god.” She gasped.

Khun took one look at it and smiled. He was not surprised as she was.

“That used to be my grandmother’s. My grandfather gave it to her as a wedding gift. The she passed it on to my mom. And I guess she’s passing it on to you. My mom’s really clever, eh? Trying to get you to commit with her son.”

Victoria could not even find words. She just gaped at it, completely floored byt its beauty.

“I—I can’t take this.” She said.

“Yes you can.”

“No, I can’t this is too much, too big.”

“Be quiet and wear it.”

“No, this is not for me.”

She attempted to put it back in the box but Khun stopped her. He snatched the ring and put it on her left ring finger, just like an engagement ring.

“It’s for you. You don’t want to hurt my mom’s feelings, do you?” he chided.

“Your mom doesn’t know what we’ve been through, she doesn’t know it won’t work out because of everything you did.”

“Are you really going to hold that against me?”

“Yes Khun! I will hold it against you for the rest of your life.”

“What will it take for you to forgive me?”

“I don’t know. Every time I see you, I can’t stop picturing you with Yoona and different women. It doesn’t matter if we were broken up. I felt like you cheated on me!”

At this point she was standing up, raising her arms in rage and protest and pacing to and fro.

“So that’s the reason why you don’t want the ring? Because of something that I did?”

“Oh you stupid, stupid boy!” she screeched as she showered him with punches on the chest again.

“You did the same with Kyuhyun too!” he pointed out, while he shielded himself.

That enraged Victoria even more.

“That’s not even close! How many times did you do it? Huh? How many women? Did you check into this very hotel with them? You are disgusting!” she went on hitting him everywhere, wanting him to crumble to pieces. She hated him. She hated every fiber of him. She wanted to inflict great pain on him.

“What I did with Kyuhyun isn’t even half of what you did!” she spat.

Khun stopped blocking himself and held her wrists. She was beating him harder than Kyuhyun did. She turned her back on him, wiping angry, furious tears.

“Can you just forget me like that?” she cried.

“I can’t.” he said and pulled her harshly as he buried his face into hers. She resisted his kiss, his deep, warm kiss that made her knees weak. She tried to push him away, flailing her arms and backing away but gradually, she relented and succumbed to his kiss. She found herself kissing him back with equal force and ardor. She felt a raging fire burning inside her. She knew this feeling.

They fumbled to the bed, almost tearing out each other’s clothes until they were both . They held onto each other tightly, grasping and touching. They kissed violently, almost as if trying to eat each other up. As their bodies writhed against each other in passion, Victoria felt tears streaming down. It wasn’t out of sadness or pain; it was because it felt so good. She has never felt this good in a long time, and she was overwhelmed with the feeling of his body on top of hers. She didn’t want it to end.

“Who did you love before me?” she grunted as he showered her with kisses.

“No one.” He whispered.

She grasped the sheets tightly and closed her eyes in utter pleasure. Sweat dripped, but neither of them were tired. He continued to wriggle on top of her, as if not wanting to climb off of her.

“Who will you love after me?” she murmured.

“No one.” He breathed into her ear.

Nothing else mattered. It was just the two of them. The world did not exist outside that hotel room. Overflowing love came rushing back; raw feelings they tried to hide and bury came back alive. Nothing else mattered. They made love gently, slowly, violently, loudly, silently, and eternally. Time had stopped. Nothing else mattered.

With his every she dug her nails into his .

With every drop of sweat they gasped for air.

With his every grunt she moaned.

With every electric, tingling feeling, they clutched and buckled together.

Nothing else mattered.

Nothing else.