When the first rays of sunlight started to creep through the curtains in mine and JR’s bedroom I had been awake the whole night thinking. And I had come to some decisions. I could not give Hongki a chance, at least not a fair one. Hongki was the most amazing person and I liked him a lot. But as a brother, not more. It would not be fair to him if I went out with him. And I am still so much in love with JR so it would only hurt Hongki. So I was going to meet up with Hongki as fast as possible and inform him about my decision. Hopefully he would take it well. I would hate to break his heart or something. I am not a heartbreaker. I’m just a very confused little girl that is still madly in love with her ex boyfriend.  I had also decided to not try to get JR back. There was no idea because he did not love me anymore. But I would try to make him my friend again. Of course we could not go back to what we were before but, I hoped that we could hang out once in a while. Maybe with the rest of the NU’EST boys. I missed hanging out with all of them. I would also try my best to focus on my school work, that would be my main priority now. Not boys. School and my oppas would be all I cared about.

I let out a sigh and looked at JR who was still sleeping. It was only 9am so he would be sleeping for some more. As far as I knew we did not have anything planned for the day so I saw my chance. I would go to Hongki now. The sooner I told him the better. I just wanted to get it over with.

So I carefully went out of bed and grabbed some clothes and tiptoed out of the room and went to the bathroom to get changed. I looked at myself in the mirror and put on a cap and my hoodie over it. Ever since “We got married” started I had to wear disguises when I went out. Now everybody recognised me. I put on my sunglasses as well and went to the hallway and put on my shoes before going out, locking the door after me.

Well out on the street I picked up my phone and dialled Hongki’s number. I was not looking forward to this that was for sure.

“Hello Chels!” Hongki answered happily after only one signal. I sighed, why did he have to be so happy to hear from me?

“Hey Hongki” I tried to sound happy as well but I obviously failed

“Is something wrong Chelsea?” Hongki questioned concerned

“Hongki can we meet up now? I need to talk to you about something important” I told him ignoring his question

“Eh, sure” he replied a little but hesitant “But aren’t you supposed to film anything for we got married today?” he continued asking

“Later today, so will you meet me?” I wondered

“Okay, where do you wanna meet then?” he asked

“I’ll come to your studio if that is okay?” I said

“Sure, I’m actually there right now, I’ll see you soon then” he said to me, I nodded to myself

“Yes, bye” I hung up and groaned in frustration. Hongki was such a good guy and now I would hurt him and it was all because of JR. But instead of thinking more about that I hurried to FT ISLAND’s studio. As Hongki has said he was already there. He was sitting with a guitar writing some lyrics. I smiled weakly when I saw him. Hopefully this would not harm our friendship or the friendship he had with Heechul.

“Hey Chelsea” Hongki greeted me and put away his guitar and smiled warmly at me

“Hi” I replied and sat myself down next to him, he could tell something was wrong, I was sure of that. I am always an open book to people. “I need to talk to you about something” I looked at him and nervously played with my fingers. He sighed and nodded.

“You’re still in love with JR, I know” he said and I looked at him surprised, was it that obvious really? “I saw the first episode, you could tell” he continued and I looked at him apologetically.

“I’m so sorry Hongki, I think you are an amazing guy but-“ Hongki cut me off before I could finish

“But I’m not him” he stated and I nodded

“No, you’re not” I said sadly

“Can I ask why you still love him? I mean, he broke your heart and then he got together with another girl very quickly after you two were over. To me he seems like an ” Hongki said

“I know but, he’s just JR. My Junior Royal, my best friend, the guy that has been with me my whole life. We have shared everything. Ever since I was a little girl I knew that I would marry him. I just knew it and I don’t think that has changed. I know that it’s hard for you to understand but he’s just everything I have ever wanted and it is really difficult to change that fact” I explained to Hongki. I knew that I had said that I would not try to get him back and I was sticking with that. Maybe I could just live my whole life alone? What was the point in having a guy that was not JR?

“The bastard does not know how lucky he is and he does not deserve your love” Hongki said

“Maybe not, but I think that he does” I said sincerely, Hongki really did not like that fact that I was still in love with JR.

“You’re just gonna hurt yourself Chelsea” he told me

“Hongki please stop, this is my decision and I do what I feel is right for me so you can be quiet” I stood up, he was just getting me upset.

“Okay, sorry” he told me and picked up his guitar again and started to play, it was my cue to leave so I annoyed left the studio. I would have to talk to Hongki again some other time and apologise for my behaviour. Now I was just too annoyed. And I probably needed to go back to our house before JR woke up. But I did not make it very far when my phone started ringing. I recognised the ring tone, it was Heechul.

“Yes?” I answered

“Hi Chelsea, Hongki called me” he told me, just great, now Heechul would scold me

“Aha”

“You said that you would give him a chance” he said sounding a bit angry

“I know I did but Heechul, how can I give him a chance when I’m still madly in love with JR? It would not be fair to him!” I tried to defend myself

“You have to give it some time Chels!” he retorted

“I will try! And during that time I cannot date anyone! Just accept it!” I exclaimed, I heard Heechul let out a sigh

“Okay, I’m sorry” he told me sadly “Just make up with Hongki” he continued

“I will, but not today, I’ll do it when I feel like it” I told him

“Well as long as you do it” he said

“I will, but I have to go now oppa, I left the house without telling anyone” I explained

“Okay, bye, love you” he cooed

“Love you” I replied and made a kissing sound before I hung up, of course Hongki had called Heechul. They were always so worried about me. Most of the times I liked it, but at times like these it was only annoying. They had to let me make my own decisions and they had to accept them.

I sighed as I reached the house. Now I had to start pretending again and I hated it. I did not want to pretend like nothing had ever happened between me and JR. Pretend that he hadn’t been my best friend my whole life. I had to pretend to not knowing him as well as I do. And that was very hard. I knew JR like the back of my hand. I knew him better than myself. How could I pretend not to? It was a hard task. I looked at my watch as I stepped inside the house. 11am. He would be awake now, or he would wake up soon. I made my way to the bedroom and found him still asleep. I smiled weakly when I saw him, he was so cute when he was sleeping. He suddenly smiled in his sleep. I wonder what he was dreaming about. Me? Haha, not a chance. Then he out of nowhere opened his eyes and looked at me tiredly.

“You’re up?” he asked and rubbed his eyes, I raised a brow and looked at him amused

“No JR, this is just my spirit, if you turn to your left then my body will still be there” I answered him ironically

“Oh how I missed you irony” JR replied being just as ironical himself as I had been

“Of course you did” I said and sat down on the bed

“Where have you been?” he questioned and sat up and stretched his arms, he was always so cute when he did that

“Why do you assume that I have been somewhere?” I retorted

“You’re wearing a cap, you never wear caps indoors” he replied and pulled away the covers

“I went to talk to Hongki oppa” I simply answered and rose and went up to the wardrobe and put away the cap and my hoodie

“Hongki? Why?” he wondered, he was always so curious when I talked about other guys. JR is the jealous and possessive type of guy, I don’t know how many times he has called me while I’ve been out with other guy friends or held onto me while being with other people. It surprised me that he wanted to know now, I thought he only acted that way to people he loved.

“We needed to talk about something important” I said and turned to him “And that is none of your business” I continued when I saw him open his mouth and as what it was.

“Aha” he stood up and walked out to the kitchen, I sighed, why was he acting so weird all of a sudden? I followed him and sat down in front of him by the kitchen table.

“Are we filming today?” I questioned, he shook his head

“No, we only film four days a week so that I can get time to work” he told me, oh right, I had forgotten about that

“So you’re going to Pledis today?” I asked and he shook his head again

“No, I’ll stay here and write” he sounded very cold while speaking and that really hurt, I was not used to a cold JR, he always used to be so bubbly and loving towards me. Not like this.

“Oh okay” I looked down in the table not wanting to meet his cold stare

“Could you go home or something for a couple of hours?” he asked “I need absolute peace and quiet” he continued, I nodded carefully and shut my eyes tight to not cry. I hated the ways he was acting. “Are you okay Chels?” he asked and I could almost hear a tiny bit of concern in his voice but that was probably just wishful thinking. But at least he cared enough to ask. But he was most likely not concerned about me.

“I’m fine” I whispered and felt a tear fall to the table “Just fine” I rose and hurried to the hallway and quickly put on my shoes and went outside. I took up my phone and called Jiyong. No answer, I looked at the phone devastated before I called Baekho, no answer there either. “Oh you” I said to myself, then I chuckled at my own stupidity. I could call Donghae of course!

“Hey Chelsea~” Donghae cooed when he answered and I immediately felt a little bit better

“Hey oppa” I replied and he straight away noticed that something was wrong

“What did the idiot do this time?” he asked annoyed

“Can you meet me somewhere?” I ignored his question, he sighed, great he was probably busy

“I’m sorry honey, but I have a photo shoot in a couple of minutes, I’m sitting in hair and makeup right now” he told me sadly

“Oh”

“Do you need someone to talk to?” he wondered

“Yeah, Jiyong and Baekho aren’t answering their phones” I told him sobbing

“My princess don’t cry~” Donghae sounded devastated, he was just as emotional as me “Go to the dorms, I think Eunhyuk is home, you can talk to him” he suggested

“O-okay oppa” I said and dried some tears

“And princess stay there! Because I want a hug when I get home from work, okay?” he said

“I promise, love you oppa, bye” I said

“Love you too!” he answered and made a kissing sound before he hung up, I put my phone in my pocket and started to walk towards the dorms. I was not sure that Eunhyuk was the right person to talk to. He isn’t so good with handling emotional little girls. He hated when girls cry and he tries to avoid it as much as he can. I can never remember him being present when I have cried. But I had no choice, I really needed to talk to someone right now. So I sped up my steps and in no time I reached the dorms. I knocked harshly so that Eunhyuk would hear because he was probably sleeping still if he had a day off or a late schedule. After about two minutes a shirtless and tired Eunhyuk opened the door. His eyes widened when he saw me all teary eyed.

“C-Chelsea what is it?” he stuttered and looked at me panicked, I could not hold it in anymore and started sobbing loudly and threw myself in his arms and hugged him tightly. Any fangirl would have fainted over a shirtless Eunhyuk but I was honestly so used to it that I did not even react anymore.

Eunhyuk hugged me back hesitantly and decided that he did not need to say anything. He just closed the door and locked it and carefully picked me up bridal style. So I clung onto his neck and then I buried my face in the crock of his neck and cried while he carried me to the living room. He sat down with me in his lap and started to rock me back and forth. This was the first time Eunhyuk had done this for me. He had never been there to comfort me before.

“O-oppa” I sobbed and hugged his neck

“Shhhh” he kissed my cheek and then he started to softly rap his parts from ‘All my heart’ trying to calm me down. It worked and soon I wasn’t sobbing anymore. “Now you can talk” he told me

“I miss JR” I whispered and I could feel Eunhyuk tighten his hold of me. “He was so cold to me this morning and I hated it. How could this happen?” I asked him, myself, I just needed and answer

“Baby boo, JR is an idiot, he is a young idiot who doesn’t know what he wants in life and he is probably just confused and isn’t feeling so comfortable living with you after everything that has happened so therefore he acts the way he does.” Eunhyuk told me, I looked at him

“But why? I don’t understand Hyukkie oppa, we have known each other our entire lives” I said and looked at him sadly

“Maybe he is also mad at himself? Mad at himself for hurting you?” he suggested

“But why would he treat me coldly if he was?” I questioned

“I...I don’t know Baby boo, I’m sorry, you know that I am not good at this” Eunhyuk apologised

“It’s okay oppa, I’m just glad that I don’t need to be alone right now” I told him and softly kissed his cheek.

“I love you Chelsea, you know that right?” he questioned and  caressed my cheek, I nodded and gave him a weak smile

“I do oppa, and I love you too” I replied him and leant my head to his chest just listening to his heart beats

“And I will always be here for you” he added

“Thanks” I whispered and closed my eyes, and soon I was fast asleep to the sound of Eunhyuk’s even heart beats.

JR’s POV’

When Chelsea practically ran out of the house, most likely crying, I felt like beating myself. She did that because of me. Because I was being an . I did not mean to act like that, but it was so hard, she did not love me anymore and that made me so frustrated. I just wanted her to be mine again... I let out a big sigh and went to the living room. I grabbed my lyrics note book and sat down on the sofa.

“I’m not over you” I whispered to myself as looked at our fake wedding photo. I had always imagined the day when we were going to get married. I had it all planned. I would propose to her when we both finished school and then we would get married and live in our own little apartment and slowly build our own family. I rose and went back to the bedroom and opened the wardrobe and grabbed one of my jackets and took out a box from one of the pockets. I always carried it with me. I was afraid that anyone would see it. The ring that I had gotten for her. I had saved money for it even before we got together. During my training days I had a job before school as a paper delivery boy. Eventually I had enough money to buy her the ring. It was a very beautiful ring, just like her. It would have fitted her so perfectly. But she would never get to wear it. I started crying at that thought. My beautiful princess would never wear the ring that I had gotten for her.

I put the box back in my pocket and went back to the living room and got my lyrics notebook again and started to write. After about two hour a sharp knock on the door interrupted my writing. Deep down I hoped that it was Chelsea, but I knew her. She would stay away the entire day. So I made my way to the door and got very surprised when Eunhyuk was standing outside the door. What did he want?

“Chelsea is not here” I told him

“I know JR, she is at the dorms” he replied coldly

“Okay? So what do you want?” I wondered

“I just wanted to know why you feel like you can treat her like ? Doesn’t she mean anything to you anymore?” he asked me angrily

“Whatever she said I did it is probably not true” I told him calmly

“Stop with the bull JR, from now on you will treat Chelsea the way she deserves to be treated, with love and respect” he said, it annoyed me a lot that he had come here to try to talk sense to me. I could do whatever I wanted.

“It’s hard to treat someone with love if you do not love that person at all” I retorted and smirked, I of course did not mean that at all but Eunhyuk annoyed the hell out of me. He took one step closer to me and in the next second he punched me straight in the face. I screamed and fell to the floor.

“You better think carefully next time you say something like that” he snapped at me and walked away. I managed to get up and close the door and make my way to the couch. My whole head was pounding and my right eye hurt so much. Eunhyuk was strong for sure. I knew that it has been stupid to say that to him but I also knew that I deserved it. I wondered what Chelsea would say when she found out. My Chelsea...

“Girl just come back to me” I whispered before I fell asleep from exhaustion and pain

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YAY CHAPTER!!! :D

I was listening to Not over you and got so many JR feels which also made me able to write xD So I hope you liked the chapter and I have a clear idea of how I will write the next chapter so hopefully I'll be able to update quickly! :)

AND OMG NU'EST HAS A COMEBACK THIS MONTH!!!!!  :D xD HOW HOT DOES JR AND REN LOOK!? THE FEELS!!!! xD

I love you all my favourite patient readers!!! SO so much! :) <3