Chelsea’s POV

“I don’t think so and besides she hates me” when he said those words it felt like my heart broke all over again and I just wanted to run back to where Baekho was or to GD or Donghae. I just needed someone to comfort me and tell me that JR was a jerk that didn’t deserve me. I really had to fight my tears

“Oh” was all I managed to reply and I cursed myself for that

“What about you then? Do you want your ex boyfriend back?” JR then asked and I looked at him, I couldn’t tell him the truth, I just couldn’t not after he had just said that he didn’t want me back

“No, that’s the past” I told him and smiled, I couldn’t read his face and it pained me so much.  That had been one of the things that I was really good at and now I didn’t even know how to do that anymore.

“Yeah and now it’s the present where you and I will get married” JR said happily, I giggled, it was fake of course, I couldn’t understand how he could act this way “What do you think? Should we get married straight ahead? I mean why wait” he then asked, it shocked me a bit that he asked me that

“Sure why not” I replied, I mean what could I say? No? I earned a smile from him but I couldn’t tell if it was an honest smile or not

“Good” he said “Come let’s look at rings!” he continued and grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the city

“You don’t need to” I pointed out but he just shook his head

“If you don’t have a ring on your finger no one will know that you’re my wife so of course I need to!” he replied me like it was the most obvious thing in the entire world

“Okey” I said and let him lead me to wherever he wanted, but I was distracted, why did he insist on getting married straight away? I picked up my phone and wrote a message, I still had his number. I didn’t have the heart to delete it just yet

To: JR:

Why do you wanna get married so fast? We could get by with just being engaged

I observed him as he read the text, it took him less than a minute to answer and soon my phone announced that I had gotten a new text

From: JR:

I know but the producers told me to ask you

Of course, the producers, this had nothing to do with our past relationship. This was only for the show. Everything he did with me and to me now was strictly for the show. He didn’t care about me anymore. He was just doing his job, nothing more. And that hurt a lot.

We then arrived at a mall and JR dragged me to a jewellery store. He walked up with me to a woman that was working there.

“Can you help us?” he asked her and flashed her one of his famous smiles

“Of course” she assured him happily, it kinda annoyed me that he could wrap people around his finger so easily, everybody loved JR... Before I would’ve liked that fact, when I knew that he was mine and only had eyes for me but not now when he was free for anyone to have. I know I sound possessive but love does that to you

“Me and my fiancé wants to look at wedding rings” he replied her, she looked surprised and observed the both of us but then she smiled and nodded

“No problems! Come here” she said and we followed her to where all the rings were

“You can choose anyone you want Chels” JR then told me, I looked at him in disbelief but he nodded at me, so I turned to the rings. They were all so beautiful. But there was only one ring that I wanted from him. And that was his grandmother’s old ring. The ring she had given him to give his future wife. The ring that he had promised me. But I was never going to get that one now. In a few years some other girl was going to have that ring on her finger, some other girl was going to get to spend her life with my Junior Royal... But I had to choose some ring, so I looked carefully and eventually found a ring that I somewhat liked.

“That one” I said and pointed at the ring, I looked at JR he smiled at my choice

“Perfect” he said “Give us that ring” he told the woman and she nodded and opened the window and took out the ring, it was a simple ring in silver with a simple diamond on it. It wasn’t like his grandmother’s ring at all “And I want that ring” JR continued and pointed at a smooth simple ring in silver, she nodded and took out that one as well, then she went to wrap them up. JR paid for both the rings and then we went out “I’ll keep these rings till our wedding” he then said and I nodded and smiled at him

“You do that” I told him

“It’s late, I’ll walk you home” he then said, I panicked, if Heechul or Donghae or anyone else in Super Junior saw him then they would freak. JR wasn’t the most loved person amongst my oppas right now.

“No it’s okey, really, I don’t live far away from here” I tried to assure him but he shook his head

“Chels” he started and then he without thinking took my hand in his, we both looked down at our interlocked hands shocked and then we looked at each other both were kinda panicking. “Sorry for being so straight forward” JR apologized and let go of my hand, it hurt that he did, I had missed holding hands with him, we always used to do that

“Don’t worry about it, I’m a very open person, I don’t mind” I told him, he smiled and nodded “You were saying?” I asked

“That I should walk you home, it’s dark, I can’t let you walk alone, really” he said, I frowned, this had actually been a thing that we had fought the most about when we were together. I always insisted that I could walk home alone but he of course insisted that I shouldn’t and what can I say? He always won. And I had a feeling that no matter how many fights we had over the topic he would still always win.

“I have my phone and I can scream really loud” I informed him, then he gave me a “Chelsea we’ve been through this before” look and I sighed, he would win this again. There was no idea that I fought back

“No, you have no say in this, I’m walking you home” he stated firmly, I let out a groan in frustration earning a small chuckle from him. I turned to look at him; I had missed his laugh so much and his smile, he had the most perfect smile

“Fine” I muttered and looked down at the ground, I glanced at his hand, I just wanted to reach out to it and take it in mine, but we kept our distance and it felt horrible. Here he was, so close but yet so far. I know super cliché but it was also super true.

We walked in silence as well and it scared me. I hated to walk in the dark, and if I did I had to have someone with me who actually talked to me! I knew that JR knew that so why was he torturing me? Did he want me to get all scared and paranoid!?

“What are you thinking about?” he all of a sudden asked, thank god! I wanted to say: that you are stupid freaking me out on purpose! But of course I couldn’t answer that

“That the dark is freaking me out” I replied him honestly, he tried to hide his smile

“And you wanted to walk home alone?” he asked amused

“Yeah...I always think that I will be able to handle it but I never do, I mean I’m even scared now” I said and grinned

“You’re weird” he stated and then he slung an arm around my shoulders, immediately making me feel safe, I hated that he still had that affect on me, I shouldn’t feel safe in his arms he had broken my heart for god’s sake!

“You’re weird too” I muttered, he just smiled in response

After a while we arrived at Super Junior’s dorm. We stopped in front of the house, I knew that the producers probably would’ve wanted me to ask him up and meet my brother but I couldn’t do that. I had to prepare them first.

“This is it” I stated

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow in school, yeah?” he asked and I nodded

“Yes, I’ll be there” I assured him

“My future wife Chelsea” JR said and grinned and winked at me, then and there I just wanted to slap him in the face, how could he act so normal? Like nothing at all had happened. So carefree!

“Whatever JR, good night” I told him and rolled my eyes at him trying to act just as carefree as him

“Good night yeobo” he said and before I knew he kissed my cheek, my eyes got wide, what on earth was he doing??? Was he stupid? He couldn’t kiss my cheek! Sure the producers and the fans of the show would love it but just no! I looked at him accusingly but he just smiled and walked away. Aish that boy! He was going to be the death of me!

When I later came up to the dorm I was met by twelve curious boys. Great now I had to tell them that my husband was JR and they would all freak big times.

“So?” Heechul asked curiously

“What do you mean?” I asked him and sat down on the sofa and put on the TV

“What do I mean!?”

“Come on Chelsea tell us!” Donghae beamed and turned off the TV

“What?” I asked annoyed and reached for the control but Siwon took it before I was even close

“Who your husband is!” Siwon said, they were getting really impatient now

“Oh, it was JR, isn’t Hongki the new MC of M countdown?” I said hoping they would lose me and only hear the last part. That was to wish for a miracle though

“JR!?” they all exclaimed in unison, I nodded

“Yeah JR”

“You’re not gonna be on that show” Heechul stated angrily

“Oppa I have no choice, we’ve already started filming, I’ve signed a contract” I told him and sighed “I mean it’s not like I wanna do this but I have to” I continued

“He broke your heart and now you have to pretend to be married to him, no way!” Donghae protested

“I know it’s gonna be hard but there is nothing I can do, seriously!” I was starting to get upset by now, all the feeling that I had suppressed since I found out that JR was my husband was starting to come up now and I was about to explode any second

“They have just filmed one episode! I’m sure we can do something” Yesung said seriously, I shook my head and felt the tears burn in my eyes, truth be told I wasn’t sure that I wanted to do anything. I had missed hanging out with JR...

“Guys there is nothing we can do! I have to go through this! You have always taught me to fulfil my decisions and now I’m doing it!” I yelled and tears started to roll down my cheeks

“Princess” Donghae started and was about to hug me but I shook him off

“Leave me alone” I snapped at him and then I got up from the sofa and out to the hallway and started to get dressed again, Heechul was fast after me

“Jiyong?” he asked and I nodded and went out of the door. I was so confused and I needed to sort out my thoughts and feelings and I felt that now only Jiyong could help me with that. He would understand, he would know what to do; he would help me process my thoughts.

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I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY!!!!! It's just that I have been having zero inspiration and then school started. Again: SORRY! Hopefully the inspiration has come back to me again :)

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