1839. The Day Chanyeol Held Baekhyun’s Hand

                Baekhyun had gotten used to the sudden physicality of his relationship with Chanyeol.  It took away the younger man’s frustration, and although Baekhyun hated to admit it to himself, he knew he was falling for his roommate.

                The crash of lips and tongue against the back of his neck, making their way to his own.

                A pair of forceful hands on his waist as he was pulled into the lusting man.

                The first time he heard his own name escape from Chanyeol’s mouth between grunts.

                And against his better judgment, he let his feelings for the pained man overshadow his guilt.  He kissed back, ran his hands over Chanyeol’s body, enjoyed their experimentation in the dark.

                But he hadn’t considered getting involved with him until he was sitting on the sofa one night, Chanyeol beside him as the six members watched a movie in their living room.  He was just about ready to fall asleep when he felt warmth creep onto his hand, lace through his fingers, his thumb.  His eyes shot open and he glanced at Chanyeol on his right, who kept his eyes on the screen, still Baekhyun’s thumb.

                He snuggled closer to the larger boy, fell asleep leaning into his warmth, pushed the nagging thought of the complicated circumstances of their relationship out of his mind.

1873. The Day EXO-M Returned from Yearlong Promotions in China

                Kris burst into EXO-K’s dorm, setting his suitcase against a wall.  He told the others to go home and unwind a bit, but he himself didn’t have the patience to return to his dorm before seeing Chanyeol.  Kissing him.  Holding him.  They hadn’t told the Korean subunit what day they were coming back; it was meant to be a surprise.  But Kris found himself unexpectedly surprised as he rushed into Chanyeol’s room, ignoring Suho’s stunned “Hyung, you’re home,” still ignoring him as he warned, “Wait, don’t—don’t go in there.  Hyung, stop.”

                Baekhyun.

                Baekhyun under the covers.

                Baekhyun under the covers with Chanyeol.

                Baekhyun under the covers with Chanyeol, hands tearing at his shirt, lips rough against his.

                Kris shattering.

                The two snapped their heads up toward the door.  “Hyung,” Baekhyun croaked as he gently rose from atop Chanyeol, his mouth becoming dry.  “I—I didn’t know you were coming back so—so early.”

                Suho appeared behind Kris, wrapped his fingers around the stiff man’s elbow.  “Hyung.”

                But Kris wouldn’t move, couldn’t move.  His eyes didn’t meet Baekhyun’s worried, apologetic face, simply watching Chanyeol as he slowly smoothed down his ruffled hair, languidly got off the mattress.  Their eyes met, and there it was.  The flat blackness.  The lack of emotion.  Kris staggered backwards at the sight of him, so different from the Chanyeol he had last seen.  He was so lifeless.

                Nervously assessing the situation, Suho quickly yanked a still stunned Baekhyun out of the room and shut the door, unsure of what words could come flying out of the broken couple’s mouths.

                The two tallest members stood tensely in the stale air of the bedroom, eyes on each other.

                The older of the two forced himself to speak, voice straining.  “Did I miss something?”  He wasn’t sure if the words actually crawled off his tongue, too focused on keeping himself upright.

                It took a few moments for Chanyeol to reply.  “Just a year.”

                Kris was taken aback at the sharpness of his voice matched with the unwavering darkness of his eyes.  This wasn’t his Chanyeol.  This was a monster.

                “When—”  Kris fought to say something, anything.  “When did you—How—We—”

                “Couple months ago.”

                The words cut gashes into Kris’s balloon of emotions, and a gust of breath rushed out of his system.  He felt his stomach roil.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”  His voice was louder now, the anger beginning to flood his insides.

                The younger man shrugged, eyes still dead as he stared at Kris.  “Why would I?”

                Clenching his fists, Kris gritted his teeth, body boiling with a sudden influx of searing rage.  “I told you to wait for me.”

                “We broke up.”

                “But I told you.  To wait for me.”  He struggled to restrain himself from strangling the boy, who seemed as if he couldn’t care less.

                There was a long silence as a minute passed.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Five.  Six.

                Chanyeol turned and took a seat on his bed.  “I’m tired.”

                Kris’s nails dug harder into his palm.  “I don’t give a ing if you’re tired, Chanyeol.  This isn’t the time for you to—”

                “I got tired.”  He stared into nothingness.

                Seething, Kris planted his feet to the floor, unspeaking.

                “I got tired,” Chanyeol repeated, his head buzzing with numbness.  “I got tired of waiting for you.  I’m tired.”

                He looked up at the infuriated man, and Kris nearly dropped to the floor as he caught sight of the hollowness of the eyes.  They had descended deeper into dullness if it were even possible.  Who are you?

                Chanyeol watched weakly as Kris stumbled out of the room, hands shaking when he closed the door.

                “Hyung, I—” Baekhyun attempted to explain.

                Kris shook his head and held up a hand.  “It’s okay.”  He took hold of his luggage and opened the front door.  With his back to the boy, he whispered, “I think he needs you,” and left.