0633. The Day EXO-M Returned from the Fourth Set of Promotions

                Chanyeol shifted his feet, eyes glued to the scuffed linoleum of the airport floor, waiting for the moment to pass.  He didn’t dare lift his eyes to Kris, didn’t dare to speak.

0739. The Day of EXO’s Second Anniversary

                Their eyes met across the dining table.  Chanyeol averted his gaze and snatched a few bottles of soju, knocking his chair over as he rushed into his bedroom, his throat itching, the memories of rejection flooding his mind.  As the others called out his name in alarm, Kris rose from his seat but came to a stop when Suho grabbed his wrist and shook his head.

1054. The Day EXO-M Returned from the Fifth Set of Promotions

                “Hyung,” Chanyeol said.  Kris looked into his tired eyes, relieved that the boy was finally speaking to him after months of silence, but the gaze was dull and the usual glimmer in his eye was replaced with a flat blackness.  “Welcome home.”

                Kris opened his mouth to respond, but Chanyeol had already moved on to the next member.

                “Your new dorm is really nice,” Kris said, tentatively stepping into Chanyeol’s room.  “I haven’t seen ours yet, but it’s just downstairs so it should be pretty much the same.”

                Chanyeol, sitting on his bed, looked up from his phone, his eyes lingering on Kris for a moment before looking back down.  “Mm.”

                “You guys have really improved; I’ve been watching your performances.  You rap almost as well as I do now.”  His teasing fell flat as Chanyeol continued to stare at his phone, not even bothering to act as if he were actually doing anything.  He sat beside him.

                “Mm.”

                “Chanyeol, please talk to me,” Kris pleaded, placing his hand on the younger man’s forearm.

                He flinched at how unbelievably good the contact felt on his bare skin.  “Don’t.”  He intended for his voice to come out harshly, but it came out a soft exhale of desire and agony.

                Kris kept his hand on him, wrapping his fingers around Chanyeol’s arm slowly.  “Please.”

               The two were tense in the suffocating stillness of the room, their shallow breaths becoming the only audible sound.

                Chanyeol finally spoke, dropping his phone.  “You said we couldn’t.”

                “Chanyeol, stop—”

                “You want me to talk, don’t you?”

                “Chanyeol—”

                “You told me to get over you.”

                Kris shut his mouth, words trapped in his throat.

                “So I tried.”  Chanyeol remained in his position, now staring straight ahead.  “I focused on practicing, on performing.  I drank.  Practiced some more.  Drank some more.  And you know what, hyung?”  His eyes flickered to the other, who met his gaze.  “It worked.  It worked.”

                Kris felt his breath waver.

                “But the alcohol would wear off.  It would hurt.  And I would cry, and it would repeat.  And every night,” he took a ragged breath, “I would lie here, hugging Junior, wondering why I couldn’t move on.”

                “And now?”  Kris’s heart raced.

                Chanyeol laughed bitterly.  “I still like you.”  His eyes were misty as he looked at Kris, no longer afraid, simply expectant of another rejection.

                Hesitation.  “I like you too, Chanyeol.”  Kris slid his hand down to Chanyeol’s, it gently.

                “But—”  The boy tried to make sense of the words, puzzled by Kris’s inconsistency.

                “I only told you to get over me because I didn’t want to hurt you.  We wouldn’t be able to see each other for half the year, Chanyeol.”

                Stubbornness took hold of him.  “That doesn’t matter.”

                “I don’t know if it would work.”

                “It works for Sehun and Luhan.”  He paused.  “Couldn’t we just… try?”  There was a new flame of hope in his eyes, and Kris couldn’t bear to blow it out.

                He in a breath.  After a moment of consideration, he said, “Okay.  We’ll try.”

                And Chanyeol leaned in, pressing a kiss to his lips, and Kris let himself go, let himself live in the moment, let himself fall in love.