Latly Sungyeol and L have been very friendly with me. They are always by mysideit seems. Things are getting harder to hide. I usually leave before meal time so they just think I am going somewhere else to eat. Really I am leaving to buy things to help slim me down. Things like diet pills and i need more water. I feel if i drink enough water I will be full which is true. I always get full after a bottle of water. I decided if i exercised before and after every water I drank it would help me loose some pounds. Sungyeol asked me the other day after the bath house if i had gotten skinner and of course i replied no. Sungyeol has been asking alot of questions about my weight. This is annoying the only one aloud to know is Ana. She is my support and my crutch. When I came back something happened that I didnt quite expect. L asked me where i had been....

I said i went to go eat out of secret stash of food that no one can know about. I knew all my hyungs hid food since we were on such strict diet plans. They have so many difrent hiding spots. I saw Sunggyu hyung hiding in a playground eating a burger once. It was really sad actually. Even though I seem to have the most self control everyone else has the most control over their weight. We all went to dance practice after this discussion. Practice was brutal. My thoughts were so foggy. I couldnt keep up. i was so tired. I just wanted to lay down and sleep it off but from my better judgment I didnt do so. Things began to slow down and then i found myself to dizzy to continue so i stood there. The next thing i heard was Sunggyu yelling at me to continue. I snapped back into reality for just a min. to hear sunggyu say I want you to dance by yourself since you are just going to stand there. I hear the music for She's Back and as i began the beginning steps i felt myself tumble the last thing i heard was my heart beat loud and strong right behind my ear.

When I woke up my head was pounding. My hand felt warm and i didnt quite understand. I slowly open my eyes to find myself in Hoya's bottom bunck. Sungyeol was holding my hand and rinsig a cold compress. When my ears came back into focus I could hear L and Sunggyu yelling at each other. L was mad because he felt that we were driving him to far. Practices this long are not good for a boy his age. Lalso exclaimed that the meals provided from our manager were too small for a growing boy and he fainted from malnutrion. L then talked about the bath house and how thin I was and it was half Sunggyu's fault and half Manager hyung's fault.

Sungyeol yelled for them to shut up and coe talk to sungjong before making assumptions. Sunggyu came in first and said if i ever feel dizzy are tired to just sit it out so that i dont get sick again. L looked at me and said from now on I can just go to my secret stash of food at lunch time so i dont have to eat such small portions. I agreed and was thankful.

I layed there for another hour or so before I told them I was going to take a shower.

As I began to undress I stared at my body. What I saw couldnt be what everyone else is talking about. I am not skinny I am just not that. There are so many words that I am. Skinny has never been one of them. In reality Sungjong was wasting away. Bones that were hidden are now standing at attention for everyone's eyes but sungjong's. His ribs stood out clearly on his pale skin. As well, his hip bones became prominent and noticable. His waist was as small as goo hara. His pants hung loosly around his tiny frame. His sholder blades became sharp and his spine was starting to show.

I'm just not where I need to be. I ran the shower as I began to purge. No one can hear me do this if the shower is running. After a few min. I went into the shower to clean myself. Soon I would go out to meet with Ana. After i got dressed I went to the studio to meet Ana. She stood their beautiful and ready to see me. She kissed me and lead me in. As always I would dance this time she joined me. Over and Over again I danced. Then I weighed myself 98lbs. I lost weight. Ana was proud and gave me much incouragment.

As I left the studio I ran into Sunggyu. He said he saw everything. I began to sweat what if he knew about his secret. Surly me and Ana did not talk about my weight we just talked about reahcing goals right?

Sunggyu eased my confusion when he said thank you for practicing even though you didnt have too.

I was so relieved

A/N:Another update thanks for all the support<3