Feelings that were left Unchanged

Better Late than Never

 

Author’s Note: Because of your words of encouragement my chingus, I have overcame my writer’s block… for a while so… Tadaaa! I just finished this chap a few minutes ago. Fresh from the oven!

Thank you to those who are still reading this! Gomawo!  :)

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Yong Hwa’s POV

I really regret the times that God gave me to tell her what I really feel and I just took it for granted, always reasoning that our friendship might go in ruins and that she might stay away from me. I never tried knowing the what-ifs on my mind. What if she won’t stay away from me?... What if she feels the same way? I FINALLY ADMIT IT TO MYSELF. I was one heck of a wimp. The truth is… I didn’t have the guts to tell her.

I should have told her before that I like her, that I LOVE her. This is my last straw. And I shouldn’t waste it. It’s all or nothing. I took a deep breath and read the last note she made, the day before our graduation. Instead of using a note, it was a folded bond paper.

Page 43.

04/03/09

Dear Mr./Ms. Post-It,

Today is my last day being the student of this school. Finally, I am graduating! Time flies so fast, but my feelings for him was left unchanged. I’ve been IN LOVE WITH MY BESTFRIEND, YONG HWA. I couldn’t imagine how I will spend my high school life without him. But, I don’t think he feels the same way too. It’s been what? 2 or 3 years but still, no signs from him. He was just being sweet and friendly, that’s all. If he really loves me, or at least likes me, he could have, you know, told me, since he is the guy.

I wish time flies a little bit faster so that he and I can get… married. Yeah, I know. I am taking our agreement way too seriously. I wish I could wake up tomorrow morning knowing I’m already 23, and he’s still single. I know I’m still gonna be single that time. I’m saving myself for him. But, just like any other person, I DECIDED TO MOVE ON. If we really are meant to be, then time will come and fate will be the one to lead us to each other. But for now, I’m giving my heart a rest.

Later before the end of our class, I will leave this book in his desk. Thinking that maybe if our feelings are mutual, then I have done his part. I told him what I really feel for him. I LOVE YOU, JUNG YONG HWA. I’m gonna miss this feeling, secretly falling in love with my best friend. As we take one step higher towards our dreams, we have to let go of certain things. That is why I’m letting go of my feelings for you. Don’t worry, I’m only bidding farewell to my feelings, not you. No matter what, you’re still my BEST FRIEND.

Love,

PSH

Tears are starting to form in her eyes, but she was preventing it from falling.

“Mianhae, Shin Hye-ya. I wasn’t able to read this on that day. Silly as this may sound but… I thought… I thought you just forgot returning it here so… I was worried that the librarian will scold you and might hold your graduation if she knows that you still have the book so I handed it back to her. I just read this when… I started missing you while you were away, in China. I went here to reminisce our good old days when I remembered browsing this book. This gave me the strength to finally confess to you that I LOVE YOU TOO even before. But then, the note was right. You already moved on. You were with another guy when you came back…”

“I guess you’re way too late, Yong. There’s no point in doing this anymore. Why should you still make a fuss out of this?!”

“Better late than Never, Shin Hye-ya. I’m so stupid for not telling you that from that time until now… I STILL LOVE YOU. You’re the only one who can make me laugh as hard as you do, no one can make me try falling off a tower 38meters high like you do…  I never fell in love with someone… other than you. Just like what you’ve said, my feelings for you were left unchanged. I’m also looking forward to that day when you’re turning 23 and the both of us are still single yet… If only I had known earlier…”

She sounded really bitter. It hurt me, because she was right. I don’t want to regret something in my whole life. At least I have told her, and that would make my mind and at heart at peace. Honestly, it doesn’t really matter to me right now if she will reject me, because it was my entire fault.

 I kissed her to let her to prove to her, that my confessions were all true. I was shocked… when she kissed me back. I was about to go deeper, when she pushed me.

“Andwae! This is wrong! How about Hyun Joong?! I don’t want to hurt him.”

“But either way, you will end up hurting him, Shin Hye-ya. You don’t love him anymore, do you? Or… you never really loved him because you weren’t able to forget your feelings for me…”

“Shirro! Stop it Yong! I don’t want to hear it anymore!”

She stormed out of the room. I was calling her name but she never looked back.

End of POV

 

Shin Hye’s POV

My thoughts are driving me crazy. I couldn’t take one more second being intrigued by Yong Hwa. I felt like I was about to be suffocated that time so I left him hanging in there. I just can’t take all that’s happening right now.

I don’t really get it why Yong Hwa is still bringing this up! He already knew that I loved him before, so what?! THAT WAS ALL IN THE PAST! How could he be so sure that I don’t love Hyun Joong anymore? He’s totally out of his mind.

I feel really guilty for Hyun Joong. I have cheated him... again. One was the kiss at the amusement park and the other one was Yong Hwa’s kiss earlier. I know our relationship right now is on the rocks but… this is not right! We’re still together. We’ve not broken up… yet.

***

When I got back to our house, only Min Young was there. She’s just sitting prettily on the couch watching TV while eating popcorns. When she looked at me, I know she already have a hint that something’s wrong with me. She hugged me tight and caressed my back.

“I know, Shin Hye-ya. Yong already confessed to you. He told us last night. I know you feel stressed with all this drama, but… it would be best to sort things slowly. If you will just absentmindedly decide on certain things, you might end up unable to pick up the pieces of your relationship with them. It’s alright Shin Hye-ya, no one’s rushing you.”

I just nodded and joined her in the couch. She was watching Made of Honor, starred by Patrick Dempsey and Michelle Monaghan. Perfect! Just perfect. I’ve already watched it. It’s about two best friends, Tom (Patrick Dempsey), a certified playboy, and Hannah (Michelle Monaghan), his very understanding best friend. He was finally ready to confess to her that he loves her but then he was surprised when she told him she was about to get married to a duke in Scotland.

(A/N: Read the plot here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Made_Of_Honor)

“Oops! Mianhae Shin Hye-ya! Wrong choice of movie.”

“Gwaenchanha. Let’s just watch it.”

Maybe this will give me some ideas on how to deal with my situation right now.

End of POV

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hanaplor
I already replaced chap13 with a true update people! Enjoy reading! :)

Comments

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Temmygold #1
Chapter 11: It was really interesting
Wendy-1977 #2
Great yongshin story🤗😍
whitenyc23 #3
Chapter 11: whoah....you sure know how to make our hearts flutter my dear chinggu...thanks for including me in your stories. fighting for more yongshin stories...hope they have new drama this year...
rubyani #4
Chapter 11: Woww.. the songs so perfect... thank you so much authornim 4 add my name ...being witness of yongshin moment ^_^ ^_^
rubyani #5
Chapter 7: Yonghwa n so min twins ....aahh I like it ^_^
martian_12 #6
Chapter 11: Great
oluwatoyin_aderonke #7
Chapter 12: wooow interesting thanks for adding my name...
oluwatoyin_aderonke #8
Chapter 11: wooow interesting thanks for adding my name...
oluwatoyin_aderonke #9
Chapter 11: wooow interesting thanks for adding my name...
zangsia1 #10
Chapter 19: just had to read through before commenting authornim
great story