Shin Hye’s POV

Yong Hwa took me to the main library located in the school’s lobby. This is where he and I used to hang out whenever the MinMin couple starts pestering us about our relationship. Those lovebirds hate the library. They’d rather hang out somewhere else.

Yong Hwa got this book called “A Poem Collection”, which is obviously a compilation of different poems.

“Still remember this, Shin Hye-ya? I can’t forget this book. This is the only book you read whenever we go here.” Yong Hwa looked really serious despite his calm aura and gentle smile.

I suddenly became stiff. I really felt nervous. There is no way he already knew. I tried to divert his attention by getting another book.

“Uh… jinja?! Oh! How about uhm… reading this one?! The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks! I heard this is now a motion picture played by Zac…”

“I’ve already read it, Shin Hye-ya.”

Oh.My.God. He already knew. But… how? Andwae! Maybe, not. I tried my best not to sound bothered by his notion.

“Which one, Yong? What have you read?”

He looked at me with solemn eyes. I guess it’s a confirmation.

“The poem… and the letters.”

“Poem?... What letters?”

“Don’t deny it anymore, Shin Hye-ya. I know your handwriting.”

He already blew my cover so I didn’t pretend anymore. I suddenly felt that I couldn’t move, like I was glued in the place I am standing right now. My mind went empty. I don’t know what to do. I was speechless.

He opened the book, browsed some poems until he found what he was looking for.

“Hmm… The bookmark is still here. I can’t be wrong. This is the poem. ‘When Best Friends Fall in Love, Everyone Loses Something’. You’re right. It was a poem worth bookmarking for. It best describes our relationship.”

When Best Friends Fall in Love, Everyone Loses Something by Shannon Flanders

They know we are in love

we are their insecurity

each glance is measured

and every word weighed.

we are fiercely protective of us

God help those who interfere

for now they know this, and

choose to look the other way

we don’t mean to sneak around

we aren’t even lovers

but we have given them hope

and it seems cruel to take it away..

soul-mates but not lovers,

trying to behave as friends.

because she hates me and he hates you,

and everyone hates “us” except for us.

with the lines being drawn

we’ve forced ourselves to choose

between being best friends now

or someday lovers…

so we feign politeness and smiles

how-are-you’s and I-am-fine’s

we speak of children and weather

and die a little more each day

when best friends fall in love

everyone loses something.

Flashback.

“What are you writing Shin Hye-ya?”

“Ah! Nothing! I’m just putting sticky notes in the poems that I liked.”

Yong Hwa will then make fun of her by trying to snatch the book. Luckily, Shin Hye is strong enough so as not to let go of the book. She won’t even let Yong Hwa sit beside her whenever they are in the library. She wants him to sit face-to-face with him. Since he never succeeded in knowing what she is writing in the post-it notes, he will just listen to his iPod and then falls asleep.

Page 816.

08/16/08

Dear Mr./Ms. Post It,

I’m here at the library again, with him. I don’t know even know why I’m writing this. I just felt that I have to let this out. I don’t have anyone to talk to, not even my friends. They will just probably tease me to him until we felt awkward towards each other, then a wall builds up between us, he will put distance from me, we’re not gonna be friends anymore, we’re gonna be total strangers… OK. I know I’m just overreacting but… I don’t want to risk our friendship.I love him. Maybe. I don’t want to lose him.

Space’s running out so… Bye for now. I’ll write again ASAP.

P.S.H.

End of Flashback.

Those are the letters that he meant. But those are not for him. It’s not for anyone, actually. How should I call it? Erhmm… Those were like diary entries. Yep. Something like that.

I’m doomed.  He already knew everything. But, on the other hand, why should I make a fuss about it? That was a long time ago. Besides, I have a boyfriend now. I shouldn’t fall for him… AGAIN.