February 14

Hello...

Ummm...

I don’t know how to do this... But....

I guess I’ll just try. Sigh.....

This is Choi Siwon. I think I’m gonna fill in for baby Kiyu here, though I have to warn you. I’m not as smart as my baby Kiyu, my memory is not as good as Kiyu, so I’ll just write what I can remember, okay? Okay. You might want to know how this diary ended up in my hands. Well, it’s a long story, but to make it short, let’s just say it started with a nice dinner and ended with a big misunderstanding.

Today is a special day, it’s Valentine’s Day. This is one of Kiyu’s most anticipated days. Why? Because people are giving away chocolates. And Kiyu looooooves chocolate. I got quite a few chocolate bars myself, Kiyu got more. The difference is, mine comes with a set of questions, like whether I am willing to be some girls’ boyfriend, while Kiyu’s chocolates came for free. Not that girls don’t want him to be their boyfriends, it’s just that, like me, they really love seeing Kiyu’s big childlike smile when he was eating chocolates. And I think they had formed some agreement to make sure that the beautiful smile always belongs to everybody.

Apart from the fact that Kiyu was being significantly happier and friendlier than any days of the year, school went pretty much normal. Then Kiyu asked me if I wanted to go and grab a dinner with him tonight, which of course I agreed to ( I never decline the chance of eating with baby Kiyu, just so you know). So we hung out at the mall after school. Kiyu went straight to the game center and played his favorite game. I was busy watching him scream and shout at the game machine. It’s always amusing to watch him play.

Then we went to Kiyu’s favorite cafe. I ordered him his favorite food. Then we waited. Kiyu didn’t talk much, which was rather weird, because he usually brag around or whine after he just finished gaming, depending on whether he won or lost his game. But then I thought maybe he was just a bit tired. Then our food came. And Kiyu kept quite. It almost seemed like he was enjoying his food too much.

“Are you okay Kyu?” I asked him after he’s done with his meal.

He shook his head and grinned.

“Won-ah! Let’s order ice cream! I want banana split!” He said cheerfully.

I felt relieved seeing that cute smile on his face. So I called the waiter and ask for his requested banana split. Kiyu was clapping his hand happily and I had to smile at that. My baby Kiyu is the cutest!

“Ah! I forgot something!” Kiyu suddenly exclaimed. He turned around and pulled something out from his bad. A plastic bag full of chocolate bars of any kind!

“Tadaaaa!” He presented his precious Valentine sweets. I laughed at him. I saw a glimpse of a book hanging out from his open bag, but I decided to remind him about it later when we’re leaving.

“Let’s eat chocolate while we wait for our ice cream!” He said.

I grinned happily. Then I grabbed the one he had in his hand.

“Kiyuuuuu... I’m so touched! This is the first time you share your Valentine catch with me!” I .

“Say something like that again and I swear I’ll make you regret knowing me.” He threatened. I stare at his pair of almond eyes, and I can’t help but to chuckle. But I opt to just obey his threat.

“Alright, alright... My bad.” I said, trying to grab his cheeks but he slapped my hands away.

Then silent for a while.

Then our ice cream came.

Then we ate.

Then Kiyu spoke.

“Ummm.... Won-ah... I need to tell you something.... I....”

Then it’s silent again.

I waited for him to continue.

“I....” He spoke but paused again. “I think I.... No, I know... that.... I’m.....”

Then it’s silent again.

Honestly, at that moment, I really don’t know what Kiyu was trying to say. Yeah, I’m slow that way! So I waited some more.

“I think I’m in love with you!” Kiyu suddenly blurted out.

I was rather shocked to hear that. Was that a confession? Really? I told you, I’m really slow.

Then it’s silent again for a while before Kiyu finally spoke again.

“I... I don’t care if you don’t feel like I do. I just, I just need to let you know. But no pressure, you don’t have to like me back.” He said. Or so it seems. I’m sorry, but I was in such a shock, I couldn’t think straight, I might not hear correctly.

“But Kiyu....” I tried to speak, “I thought....” Seriously, I lost my speaking ability.

I saw Kiyu’s eyes started to het teary. Gosh! It got me dumbfounded, more than it had been before. So many things were going on in my mind, but none of those reached my lips.

I grabbed his hand that was placed on the table.

“Kiyu, I just can’t....”

“Oh hey guys! What are you doing here? Having Valentine’s Day dinner?” Ariel came out of nowhere, cut my sentence before I can finish it.

That was probably the thing that caused the big fat misunderstanding. It all happened so fast. I greeted back at Ariel, Kyu pulled his hands out of my grip, mumbled something that sounded like “Sorry I gotta go, you guys have fun”, then stormed out the cafe. He didn’t look back when I call him, he didn’t even realize that his bag were not zipped, and some of his things were falling out of his bag, one of which, was this diary. I can’t just run after him because I haven’t paid for our meal yet, so I just stayed behind, feeling stupid.

I went home feeling like the worst person for making my baby Kiyu cry. He’s probably hurting, and I really didn’t mean to hurt him. Stupid Siwon! It took me an hour thinking about what I had done until I remember that I got some of Kiyu’s things that fell out of his bag. That’s when I read what Kiyu wrote in this diary, and I was surprised to know what Kiyu had been thinking all this while.

So now, if you’re reading this, I’m going to explain everything. Read carefully, okay baby?

I’m sorry if I made you angry or sad earlier tonight. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I was surprised, I admit. But what I tried to say was, I can’t believe you did this for me. I was happy, really happy when you told me that you’re in love with me, because Kiyu, I’m in love with you too. I have been in love with you for God knows how long. But I didn’t think we need some kind of confession because I thought it’s only natural for us to be together, we belong together, I have no doubt about that.

I’m really sorry for being so dumb and slow. I didn’t realize that I have to claim you to make you mine. Ariel had to slap my head tonight for being so stupid. By the way, it was a pure coincident that we met her tonight. And don’t you worry about her, baby Kiyu. She couldn’t win over you. Plus, she has a boyfriend back home in America who’s planning to come and study here after graduation. So, don’t ever think that she’s gonna come between us, because she never has, and will never be.

Now, I really hope you’re reading all that I wrote. Let me say this one more time just to make it clear. I love you, baby Kiyu, I really really really love you. You’re the only love I know, the only love I need, the only one I want. And if you’re reading this and you forgive me, please meet me on my rooftop tomorrow morning at dawn.

A Fool Who Loves You,

-Choi Siwon-