January 1

Hi there! Happy New Year!

So, a few days ago I wrote that I was planning a confession, right? Right! Well, here’s what happen:

I woke up late yesterday, because there’s no school, and I don’t have to wake up early. I think I was having  a quite nice dream, although I can’t really remember what the dream was about. The point is, I didn’t wanna get up just yet! But then I felt nudges on my cheek. And when I –barely- open my eyes, I found Siwon sitting on the edge of my bed, poking his fingers into my cheeks. And I swear I could’ve died back then! Who wouldn’t when your crush was on your side when you wake up in the morning, wearing sleeveless shirt and looking hot like a chili pepper?? Thank goodness I have a strong heart, or else, y’all be attending my funeral on new year’s eve.

“Siwon! What are you doing here?” I asked him.

“Kiyuuuu.... Let’s go grocery shopping for tonight’s barbeque!” He squeeled. You know, for someone as big and as manly as he is, Siwon can really be girly sometimes, like grandma girly.

“Our moms can do that, Siwon. Just let me sleep!” I hissed.

“Awww. Come on Kyu! Be a good boy for a day and spare your mom the shopping duty today. Yes yes yes?”

And after a whole 10 minutes of Siwon nagging me like an old lady, I finally gave up and say yes. So I shooed him out of my room and he was prancing out, happily telling me that he’ll be downstairs having breakfast with my dad. You know, my dad is closer to Siwon than me. While me, well I’m pretty confident that Siwon’s mom really loves me like his own son.

So later that day we went grocery shopping. I know we look weird. Two high school teenagers picking up meat and vegetables in a supermarket, I bet people who saw us together were having all kinds of thoughts. But since Siwon didn’t seem to care, I soon learned not to pay attention too. I just kept myself busy watching Siwon who was hopping here and there cheerfully, like a kid on christmas morning.

Siwon bought me ice cream, so we didn’t talk much in the car on our way back home. Siwon was busy driving, while I was busy eating my ice cream. Childish as it may seem, when many of my friends tried smoking cigarettes in high school, I stick with ice cream. I don’t smoke, never tried, never planned to try too. Siwon on the other hand, tried once, somewhere in our sophomore year, but he didn’t like it, so I believe that was his first and last time being seen with a cigarette in his hand.

I took a quick glace at Siwon, wondering if I should tell him how I feel there. I was gonna call his name when I suddenly thought of what his reaction will be. What if he was shocked? What if he was angry? What is he was so shocked and angry then he lose control of the car and we have an accident? Okay. This is not a very good timing. I’ll just confess when the situation is less dangerous, definitely NOT when one of us was driving. So I’ll just stick with my plan for tonight. Plus,  I already bought fireworks to help me set the mood. So that afternoon, I let Siwon off the hook.

And new year’s eve finally came. Siwon’s family came over at 7, bringing Siwon’s mom’s world class chocolate pudding that I love the most. We were talking and telling jokes while having dinner, well, Siwon and his dad were telling jokes, the rest of us were just laughing until our face hurts. Then after dinner the dads were playing cards, the moms were gossipping in the kitchen, and Siwon and I decided to play video games in the living room. Then at around 11 my mom called us to start grilling in the back yard.

While Siwon and his dad were grilling steak and sausages, I prepared the fireworks with dad. We were gonna surprise mom, because she really likes fireworks. I was gonna surprise Siwon too, because I know he will scream happily like a little girl whenever there are firework display in the sky. And when everything was ready, we went back and join the moms to set the garden table. Then I wore an apron and went to Siwon’s side to help him with the cooked meat and vegetables.

Then I hear Siwon’s dad said, “Kyuhyun, you look so cute with that apron on!”

Then Siwon’s mom joined, “I know, right?!”

Then Siwon too, “Of course! My Kiyu always look cute with anything!”

Siwon was grinning like that cat in ‘Alice In Wonderland’, I don’t know what his name is. My mom and dad were giggling gleefully, and I can only pout.

Then Siwon’s mom said again, “Here, let me take a picture of you!”

Siwon gave her his cellphone, then grabbed my waist and pulled me closer. The cellphone flashed and the parents all said “Aaaaaawwww....” in unison. I didn’t ask what happened, of course, because I was too embarassed and I was too busy calming my heart that felt like it was jumping out of my ribcage.

Siwon joined the parents giggling at the tiny cellphone. Thankfully, dad’s alarm went off, telling us that it’s already 3 minutes to mignight and we’re gonna light up the fireworks. The sky suddenly filled with colorful sparks, looked like the neighbors we’re having fireworks too. All six of us were smiling as we watched the fireworks, one person in particular were screaming happily, just as I had expected, and that made me chuckled.

10... 9...8...7...6...5...4...3..2..1...!!! Happy new year!!!

Then my chance came. Dads were hugging moms, I was sitting face to face with Siwon, eating delicious barbeque. So I started like this:

“Siwon!”

Then Siwon teased, “Siwon what?” --> he pinched my cheek.

“Siwon-hyung...”

“Yes, Kiyuuu...” --> Siwon smiled, so sweet!

“I... I think I’m...” --> I was building up confidence and preparing myself to say this à “I think I love you!” but before I can say it out loud, Siwon beat me to it.

He said: “Aaaa... Open your mouth, Kyu!” Then he feed me a chunk of steak, with the smile that can replace atomic bomb to kill thousands of people within miles radius. Then he ruffled my hair and said, “Good boy Kyu, my Kiyu....”

And my dear brain melted.

So! Attempt number 1: FAILED! I have thought about it though, Siwon and food are two of my biggest weaknesses, so lesson learned: No eating while confessing! Noted.

The guy with no brain because Choi Sweet-Won had melt it down,

-Cho Kyuhyun-