Trying again is - can be - such a double-edged sword.

It can give you hope.

Or it can further scar you.

A couple of years after the in vitro fertilization method didn't work for Joohyun, she prodded Seulgi to try it this time.

They have, after all, saved for two attempts.

But Seulgi wasn't so sure. The apprehension isn't coming from a place of just sheer obduracy, that she would not just give what Joohyun wants - she will give the world to her, if she could - but she's afraid that if it doesn't work out the second time around, it may destroy Joohyun. Again.

It has taken some time before Joohyun was able to get out of a really dark place, and Seulgi just doesn't want to risk any chance or create any situation that could Joohyun into that void once more.

But Joohyun was persistent.

Just one more time, she said.

And Seulgi couldn't help but just relent.

Unfortunately, when they went in for a check-up, the doctor told them that Seulgi has primary ovarian insufficiency - her ovaries have stopped working. It's a condition that women who - just years before they turn 40 - experience and suffer from.

Seulgi was crestfallen. For herself. But moreso, for Joohyun.

On the first night that they got the news, Joohyun silently held her as Seulgi muttered a thousand apologies.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," she cried out. "I would have wanted to give you a child. Our child. I'm so sorry."

A week after this, however, Seulgi would find herself sleeping alone.

Joohyun would just get up and leave in the middle of the night, disappear and not tell Seulgi where she's been the night before.

Seulgi was too afraid to ask though.

She understood that Joohyun was hurting again - they have after all, lost their last chance, and so, maybe this was her way of coping, of dealing with this one final blow.

But a month passed.

And then another.

And Seulgi never felt more alone.

Or inadequate.

All this time, she's kept her questions to herself. But Joy would sense something is wrong whenever they talk on the ph