“Taemiiin,” wheedled Jonghyun. “If you don’t eat I’ll hold your nose and force you to open your mouth so I can feed you. Don’t do this!”

“Well either I starve to death or suffocate to death, your choice if you don’t bring me Key,” said Taemin calmly. “When I say bring me Key, that’s what I mean. Bring me Key.” He huffed and leaned back on his pillows. This could take a while.

“It’s not up to you Taemin, Key doesn’t want to. You’re hungry Taemin, you’ve barely recovered from your near hypothermia. This is really unhealthy Taemin, just eat,” begged Onew.

“No,” refused Taemin blankly. “I will only eat for Key.”

Onew and Jonghyun were silent, frustrated as they stared down at their stubborn maknae, his arms crossed and a purposeful expression on his face.

Taemin’s stomach growled audibly.

“Taaeeemmiinn!” pleaded Jonghyun, a spoon in his hand and waving it in front of Taemin’s mouth. “Pleaassee!”

Taemin kept his mouth firmly shut and glared at Jonghyun.

“Taemin,” said Onew softly. “What do you want to achieve? Do you think you can change Key’s mind? Taemin, this sort of thing takes at least several days to happen. You know Key, and you know that once he’s got it in his head that he’s right, it takes extraordinary lengths for him to change it. Anything you want to do or say, can wait until tomorrow. But for now, stop torturing yourself and eat. This isn’t doing anyone any good, especially you.”

Onew saw Taemin wilt a little bit, and thought maybe it was because he was listening to what he had said.

“I do know Key,” he slowly started.

Onew nodded in agreement. Hopefully he would eat now.

“And he can’t resist me. Especially if he knows I’m not eating. Either you can wait here with me hyung or you can go get him.”

“Taemin!” yelled Jonghyun. “Stop acting like a teenage girl! Stop this little hunger strike and just eat!”

Taemin smiled sweetly. “Then go get me Key,” he encouraged.

Half an hour ticked past. Taemin was starving. He groaned and buried his head in his hands.

“Taemin, come on, one bite,” said Minho, holding the spoon tantalisingly close to Taemin’s mouth.

“No, no, only Key,” he groaned. He slumped onto his bed. He was so hungry and so tired. But he had to get Key in here.

“Stop doing this to yourself, please, Taemin!” Onew had stopped trying to reason with Taemin long ago and had now resorted to just pleading. “I know you’re hungry! Just eat!”

“No no no I want Key! Take me seriously, please take me seriously when I say I’m not eating unless Key is the one feeding me!”

“Why should I take you seriously?” asked Onew. “You’ve just.. broken up Taemin, you’re in a fragile emotional state you don’t know what you want-“

“Hyung! Seriously!” yelled Taemin. “Remember the last time you didn’t take me seriously? You know that when I say I will do it, then I will do it!”

Onew was baffled. Taemin rarely yelled back. Taemin’s stomach rumbled again, accompanied by Taemin’s drawn out groan.

“Please hyungs, please get me Key,” he whined.

Key was huddled in the laundry room, sitting on a pile of sheets. He had rubbed his eyes and nose raw with the tissues and now sat there numbly listening to the muffled voices of the rest of SHINee shouting about something. Minho had come in earlier asking Key to go and feed Taemin and of course Key had refused. He hoped Taemin had eaten enough by now.

He heard footsteps thumping toward him again. He sighed as he saw who it was.

“What do you want now, Choi?” he asked.

“Taemin won’t eat, please come,” he said. Minho looked like he was on the verge of tears. “Please hyung!”

Taemin still hadn’t eaten?

“Can’t you feed him yourselves? There are three of you! You don’t need me,” he said.

“He says he won’t eat unless you’re the one feeding him,” Minho rushed out. “Please Kibum, he won’t eat, he’s starving himself!”

Key bit his lip. Taemin should eat… but he really didn’t want to see Taemin right now. In fact, Taemin was the last person he wanted to see. He frowned as he saw Minho drop to his knees and gasped when he…bowed?

“Please Key, please I’m begging you on my knees, please go and let Taemin eat!” Minho said.

Key was puzzled and a little scared. But he was adamant he was not seeing Taemin.

“I don’t want to see Taemin,” Key told Minho softly.

Jonghyun and Onew burst into the scene.

“Minho! Get up!” he snarled. “You!” he pointed at Key. “Your boyfriend is having a hunger strike because of you! Go to him!”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Key said sadly.

Jonghyun sighed exasperatedly. “I don’t give a if he’s your boyfriend or not. Do you care about Taemin at all? This isn’t about you. Taemin won’t eat, and it will be easily solved if you just sit your in front of him and feed him. Be mature, for God’s sake.”

“I don’t want to, and you can’t force me to,” snapped Key. “Why can’t you do it? Force him to eat yourself, since you’re such a big shot.”

“Please Key, what do you want us to do?” asked Onew. “Please…”

Key was shocked when Onew got to his knees.

“Oh no, oh no, get up,” said Key quickly. Why was he bowing too? This was so unnatural and horrible.

Key gasped loudly in horror when Jonghyun growled frustrated and also lowered himself.

“Key.. we’re begging you. Begging you. Do this for us, please. I have never asked you to do something before like this; do this for us and we’ll owe you for life, this is really important,” said Onew. “This isn’t about only Taemin. This is about all of us. Do it for SHINee.”

“I can’t,” Key shook his head, scared. “Why does it have to be me? I can’t get over him like this if I have to do that!”

“Key,” said Jonghyun brokenly, refusing to look at him. “Please do it. It won’t kill you. But Taemin on the other hand,” he trailed off.

“What, he’s going to starve to death? I think not,” snorted Key.

“I’m not talking about that Key,” said Jonghyun, now staring straight at Key with piercing eyes that stabbed Key right in his conscience. “You of all people I thought you would understand. How do you think Taemin is feeling at the moment? You must’ve heard how badly you made him cry. He cried for ages. I can’t believe you dumped him right after he tried to kill himself. Not only are you an insensitive bastard, but think about what Taemin could be thinking right now. He’s just tried to kill himself Key! And now he’s not eating! If it was any other time that Taemin was doing this, then I would say go right ahead and let him starve. But not now, Key. How can you do this to him? Stop being selfish and give him whatever he wants to make him happy.”

“But I can’t make him happy, that’s-“ Key hiccupped.

“Stop analysing with all this emotional !” interrupted Jonghyun. “Don’t you think you’ve messed him up enough already Key? And now you’re going to avoid him? Why can’t you be ing nice and just do it?!”

Key remained silent.

“Taemin is your friend, your colleague, your brother and your baby-don’t try deny it,” continued Jonghyun, when Key opened his mouth to protest.  “And he’s suffering. You’re the only one he wants right now. Please.”

Key didn’t know whether Jonghyun knew that he had hit Key’s weak spot. Key could not resist a Taemin that needed looking after.  He loved fussing over Taemin because Taemin always needed it, and no one else would do it. When Jonghyun had said he was the only one… Key also loved fussing over Taemin because Taemin made him feel important. The younger boy would look at him with such adoring and helpless eyes, and everyone sort of assumed that Taemin would fall apart if Key wasn’t there making sure everything was right. And no one else could look after someone as well as Key.  

He couldn’t let Taemin fall apart. As his friend, he had an obligation. He really didn’t want to, but it seemed like he really was the only one who could solve the situation. Key sighed. Oh it, he thought. The longer I say no the longer I’m going to have to stay here with Onew hyung begging and Jonghyun hyung lecturing me. Looking after Taemin won’t be this bad.

“Fine,” he said, throwing his hands up in the air. “I give up. You all win. I’ll go.”

“Thank you almighty Key,” smiled Onew, uaing the nickname that Key had made up for himself before they had debuted.

Key stood in front of the door to his and Taemin’s room, heart thumping. He really, really didn’t want to do this. He was consumed with guilt. What if Taemin was still crying because of him? He didn’t know if he could handle it.

He took a deep breath and turned the handle.

The first thing he saw was the mess of brown hair and skinny limbs slumped over on the bed. Key started to get a prick of fear. Why was Taemin like this? And lying so still? He forced himself not to think of the worst as he tentatively inched forward and laid a hesitant hand on Taemin’s back.

“Taemi- GAAAAH!” Key yelped and jumped as Taemin bolted upright and screamed.

“Oh my god, you scared me hyung!” said Taemin, holding his hands over his chest. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

There was an awkward silence.

“You came,” said Taemin, in a small but pleased voice.

Key couldn’t keep looking at those large brown eyes which looked so happy. He was still so innocent and Key felt so very guilty.

“Why aren’t you eating?” he said instead.

“Because I didn’t want them to feed me,” Taemin replied, looking heatedly at Key. “I only want you to.”

Key was starting to feel uncomfortable under Taemin’s gaze.

“Why me?”

Taemin was quiet for a moment. “Because you’re the only one who has seen that side of me,” Taemin whispered.

The moment was broken by Taemin’s stomach rumbling.

“Let’s eat,” sighed Key.

He forced himself to sit on the bed next to Taemin and put the tray of food on his lap. He peeked up at Taemin and only saw the cute little boy he remembered blinking back. He didn’t even know why he was working himself up over this.

He sighed again and bought the spoon of food to Taemin’s lips. Taemin opened his mouth immediately and Key had to work to keep feeding Taemin as he wolfed it down. He had to bite his cheek to stop himself smiling at Taemin’s big-eyed hungry expression. This boy was adorable.

“Did you know Minho called you a er?” said Taemin between mouthfuls.

Key was surprised that Taemin was talking to him again, and so casually and without any underlying emotion.

“Did he now?” responded Key.

“Yeah. You should call him something bad too hyung,” said Taemin seriously.

“I shouldn’t.. he’ll have that look on his face if I did,” said Key.

“What look, what look?” crowed Taemin.

Key knew what Taemin wanted him to do. Seriously, this was like telling a story to a child. This had been a walk in the park, he hadn’t expected to get along with Taemin so comfortably at the moment. He felt like they were friends again, especially when they talked about their favourite topic, which was mocking Minho. It always made Taemin giggle which was why they had had this conversation so many times before.

“You know, that look where he bugs out his eyes and sticks out his upper lip, looking all offended,” Key began, distorting his features until he had the one he was describing. “And then he’ll say-“ he lowered his voice into a deep tone and said loudly “Ani-yo, Kibum, why are doing this to me? Andwae andwae, you’re so cruel Kibum!”

“Hyung, you’re going crosseyed,” Taemin managed to say as he convulsed in silent laughter, clapping his hands and covering his mouth with his fist.

Key smiled and relaxed.

Taemin slowed down with the eating after a while and Key got that uncomfortable feeling again. Taemin was inching closer and closer. Before he has assumed that Taemin was just shuffling closer to have better access to food.  Then Taemin had put his hand on Key’s forearm. Key had tried to tell himself that it was because Taemin needed to support himself at that ang;e. But now Taemin was too close, his cheek nearly resting on Key’s shoulder. He had been wrong. This was not easy. They could not be friends for a long time.

Key swore he could feel the millimetres of distance between them. He could see Taemin’s individual strands of silky brown hair and he could almost feel them grazing against his own cheek. He could smell that warm, cotton-y scent mixed in with hints of that fresh deodorant that was undeniably Taemin’s and he was going crazy. Zings of electricity seemed to be sparking through him and his stomach was flipping. That hand lightly grasping his arm was too much. And not enough. He wanted to smother Taemin.

And he hated it.

He dropped the spoon in the bowl with an audible clang.

“Hyung?” asked Taemin in a confused voice. He looked down to see Taemin looking up at him with wide eyes through his eyelashes. It made him look sweet. Cute. y. Submissive. Oh God.

“Hyung what’s wrong?” Taemin asked again.

Key blinked and picked up the spoon.

“S-sorry,” he stammered, bringing up a spoon full of food to Taemin’s lips again. “One last bite.”

His eyes were locked on Taemin’s as Taemin slowly engulfed the spoon with those full lips, his cheeks puffing out. He was almost scared by the way Taemin was staring into him with that feral look in his eyes that he had never seen before. He froze as Taemin slid his lips off the spoon and chewed slowly before swallowing, his pink lips and quirked up the side of his mouth in a sensual half smile with big, smirking eyes.

Like Taemin knew what he had been thinking about.

Key tore his eyes off of Taemin’s and found himself staring at Taemin’s lips instead. He was so close to Taemin he only had to lean in to kiss him. His eyes travelled down that smooth white neck and adam’s apple, to those collarbones…

Key didn’t know if he knew how to move anymore. He should leave. This was inappropriate.

His eyes widened as he felt Taemin’s lips against his. He snapped back his eyes to Taemin’s only to see Taemin’s ones closed, those soft lips he had been ogling at before softly pressing into his sweetly. He forgot for a second and closed his eyes too and responded.

But only for a second.

 He jerked away from Taemin and stood up, breathing harshly as he tried to walk out the door. But Taemin still had his hand on Key’s arm and wasn’t letting go, now holding onto Key’s arm with both of his hands.

“Let me go Taemin!” said Key, struggling. “This is wrong. This is wrong!’”

“No no no,” said Taemin breathlessly, shaking his head. “Stay Key, please stay!”

“Taemin I don’t want to do those things with you anymore. We can’t do this! Let me go!”

“No, please Key, don’t go!”

“Taemin. Go get some rest. Please let me go. This isn’t healthy for both of us. Let me go Taemin, please,” Key tried again.

“No you can’t! Don’t leave me yet, don’t leave me yet!”

Taemin yanked Key’s arm and Key was surprised at the maknae’s strength until he found his waist being hugged fiercely by Taemin, his face buried into Key’s chest.

“Taemin… we’re not a couple anymore,’ he said softly.

Taemin was silent and Key wondered whether Taemin had heard him.

“Where are you sleeping tonight?” asked Taemin, his voice muffled.

Key shook his head. “I don’t know. On the couch. Maybe I’ll see if the other guys will let me share a bed with them. I know what you’re thinking. Not here.”

“But this is your room too,” mewled Taemin.

“No, it’s just too weird for me Taemin,” said Key. “No way.”

“Don’t make me sleep alone Key!” pleaded Taemin. Key felt his caring pheromones salivating at Taemin’s vulnerable tone. He sounded like he was going to cry. No. He had to resist.

“I promise I won’t try kiss you again or anything, just don’t leave me alone in this room!” said Taemin. Key could feel Taemin biting his lips against his shirt, and Taemin always chewed his lips before his cried. Oh no, he couldn’t do this.

“Maybe I can get Jonghyun hyung or Onew hyung to sleep here instead,” said Key, knowing that Taemin would refuse that idea.

“Nooo, please Key, I’m scared. I haven’t slept alone since my panic attack and I’m not ready, I’m not ready!”

Key’s stomach gave a sympathetic lurch at Taemin’s teary voice. He was done for. He hugged the boy back slowly, rubbing his back and trying to calm him down.

“Onew hyung and the others will look after you just as well,” he soothed.

“Noo, I’m not used to them. I can’t bring myself to be like this in front of them. Onew tried to hug me before and I hated it Key, I hated it! Please, please!”

Key felt himself giving in when he felt a drop of very hot liquid seep through his shirt. “Fine. Fine. You win. I’ll stay with you. But no funny business or I’ll be out of here so fast and I will never speak to you again.”

Key felt bad as he felt Taemin nod meekly into him.

“Lie down,” he said, gently pushing Taemin down onto the bed. Taemin complied, not meeting Key’s eyes. Key switched on the bedside light and turned off the main light.

 He gently tried to untangle himself from Taemin and nearly succeeded, but Taemin refused to let go of his hand.

“Let go of my hand Taemin,” he said.

“But you’re just going to leave if I do,” said Taemin stubbornly.

“Taemin, I promise you I won’t leave tonight. But I need my hands to do stuff.”

“Do you promise?”

“Yes.”

Taemin still didn’t let go.

“Taemin… don’t you trust me?”

Key felt Taemin’s fingers slowly unfurling and letting Key out of his grasp.

Key gently shook off Taemin’s hand so he could get up and close the curtains. Key could hear Taemin breathing and calming himself down.

He dragged a chair to in front of Taemin and sat on it, rubbing his face in his hands. What was he doing here?

He got up again as he noticed the food tray on the table. He grabbed it and walked to the door.

“Where are you going?” asked Taemin shrilly.

“I’m just going to put this tray outside of the door so someone can get it, don’t worry,” he said. “It creeps me out to think that food will be slowly rotting away in the same place room where you’re sleeping. Don’t worry, I won’t run away.”

Key found the mental image of himself dashing away from this room amusing and immediately felt horrible about thinking about escaping he glanced at Taemin who was lying stiffly on his side with the blanket fisted in his hands, a scared and worried expression on his face when Key opened the door.

He quickly placed the tray on the floor before closing the door and returning to the chair, Taemin noticeably exhaling.

“Can I turn off the light?” asked Key, and Taemin nodded, his eyes already closed. Key turned off the bedside light and the room was plunged into darkness.

Key blinked, trying to adjust his eyes to the pitch black, and it wasn’t long before the familiar shapes of the room returned. He could make out Taemin’s face in the darkness now.

He was looking around the room when he thought he saw Taemin peek at him, but when he looked at Taemin his eyes were shut. It happened three times before Key decided to say something.

“Taemin, I know you’re looking. I said I’m not going anywhere.”

“I just wanted to make sure,” grumbled Taemin.

Key listened to Taemin breathe and watched the blanket rise and fall comfortably.

“Hyung…” breathed out Taemin

“Hmm?” responded Key. Taemin should be nearly asleep.

“When I had that fever I dreamt that I was drowning again.. and I would wake up thinking I’m nearly dead. I’m so scared of those dreams. And I wouldn’t be able to be like that in front of the other hyungs. You know I couldn’t be able to. If they saw me like that.. I would kill myself with embarrassment.”

Key winced at Taemin’s choice of words, but he knew Taemin was just rambling before he went to sleep.

“I don’t want them to think I’m weak hyung,” whispered Taemin. “I want to be strong.”

Key knew Taemin had a complex about being seen as manly. Key was the only one who had seen Taemin act like a baby and break down, and it was their secret that Key would keep to his grave.

“It’s okay Taemin,” said Key gently. “You’re strong. Stronger than me.”

Taemin’s eyes were definitely shut and his breathing was getting more even. He decided it was okay to rub Taemin’s back slowly so he would go to sleep quicker.

“I am better now Key.. I’m not 100% but I feel like me again,” Taemin said drowsily. “I feel better now.”

“That’s good,” said Key in a reassuring tone.

There was another relaxed silence.

“Key… I know you don’t want to be boyfriends again…” started Taemin.

Key stiffened.

“But.. can you still take care of me?”

Key sighed with relief. He felt like his heart just broke a little when Taemin asked whether he would still look after him. Honestly, it had been hurting throughout their conversation, but that question bought a new throb.

“Of course Taemin. I’ll always look after you. I promise to take care of you forever,” said Key, hating how he had added on the ‘forever’ at the end.

Key continued to rub Taemin’s back slowly and he could see Taemin drifting off. He also saw Taemin’s little hand work it’s way up to next to Taemin’s mouth. Oh no, Key hated it when Taemin did this.

“Don’t do that, it’s dirty,” he whispered firmly, clamping his hand over Taemin’s and tangling their fingers. Taemin used to have a very bad habit of his thumb when he was asleep when Key had first met him, and Key had found it absolutely disgusting. Fingers were full of germs. To remedy this Key would hold Taemin’s hand while he slept to make sure he wouldn’t be able to do it. Taemin had resorted to his tongue instead, and sometimes Key could see Taemin’s mouth working when he was nodding off.

Taemin whimpered and tried to move Key’s hand off with his lips and mouth, digging down to try get to his thumb.

“Don’t do that babe,” said Key before using his other hand to clamp over his mouth. He had to stop calling him names like that.

Taemin sighed in annoyance and settled for pushing his mouth on top of Key’s hand and going to sleep.

Key decided that it was okay for him to keep looking after Taemin in his weird ‘umma’ mode. It would be just like old times, he decided. Taemin’s lips were really soft against his hand.

Taemin was a bit disappointed in himself at his plan’s failure toward the end. But he had definitely felt that when Key had been feeding him and he promised himself he would instigate many more tomorrow once he was awake and not tired. He had gone back to ‘baby’ mode to try keep Key with him, although he was kidding himself if he said he had done it on purpose. But it had been good progress. Key had agreed to look after him again so he was going to get more openings, and Key had called him babe just now.

He felt himself floating away as Key brushed his bangs back and annoyingly held his hand to stop him his thumb (he knew it was gross but it comforted him when he felt stressed). Tomorrow he would be y, he decided. Tomorrow.

Key crawled onto his side of the bed, making sure not to let go of Taemin’s hand lest he started thumb again. He was sort of glad that he could still sleep in his room. He let go for seconds to quickly change before clasping onto Taemin’s hand again. He got under the covers and tried to not think about their kiss and Taemin’s lips and neck and collarbones and chest...

Tried.

A/N I'm sorry I chickened out in writing y/seductive stuffs! I couldn't bring myself to do it for this chapter and fell back on my safety net of writing sort of angsty instead.. :P The reason why I am scared of writing /fluff/whatever is because once I start writing it I know I've descended into the deep dark depths of fandom :P and plud there were these 2 girls in my school that everyone hated and they wrote stories about themselves getting it on with their favourite band, and it made me actually want to puke... I refuse to be like them!

But nevertheless, I will write some seductiveness next chapter! Sorry for the long wait AGAIN, I had to work >:/

what did you think about it? Please comment about anything and I will write back! :) Do you like the angsty bits or not?

I personally don't like it when I comment on a story and get no acknowledgement that the author has read it or not... like you complain about silent readers, and then you silent read comments?

thanks for reading! <3 :D