Changmin POV

Kyu said “saranghae” to me, but I wasn’t happy or something, maybe I would if we weren’t under this circumstance. I knew he just said that desperately, to get rid of his painful unrequited love he had for Siwon hyung. He knew I loved him but he couldn’t take me as a lover, he loved me as his best friend. No matter how hard I wanted to change that, it couldn’t be changed easily either forcefully.

Kyu was still crying hard on my chest. I was hugging him tightly, afraid that he might fall down as he looked so weak. 

“Changminnie… why don’t you say something, say that you love me, say that you love me and will help me to forget him…” Kyuhyun’s pleading voice was breaking my heart. He who was known for his snarky lively attitude who will just shrug off of his problems suddenly turned into a pitiful helpless person that I couldn’t imagine.

I didn’t know but I felt so sad either. I couldn’t do anything to help Kyu.

“I can’t…” I said finally. My voice cracked like there was something stuck on my throat. Kyuhyunnie raised his head, tears were streaming down his angelic face, eyes swollen, lips trembling. “Why? Why you can’t do that? Minnie-ah, please...”

“You love Siwon hyung so much, and although I love you but there is no way I can help you to forget Siwon hyung. You can’t erase people’s existence that way, you can’t forget your own feeling to him.” I put my finger on his lips, asking him to listen to me when he seemed like he wanted to protest with what I wanted to say next.

“Look Kyu, I’d love to take you from this painful circumstance If only I could, I don’t like seeing you suffering when I can do nothing about that. But you know I can’t do that. You can’t force yourself to run to me, while your heart is longing for Siwon hyung. we will just hurt ourselves more in the end.

You have to face this, face your own feeling. And I will always stand by your side like this, comforting you, taking care of you and holding your hand when you feel tired.

And when in time you can deal with your own feeling to Siwon hyung, whether you will have happy ending or sad ending of your story with him, I will always lend my hand for you to reach anytime you need. And if in that time, you will run to me, I will wait here for you.” It was a very long yet so blurry explanation  I gave.

If I could be selfish, I would just take Kyu away. He was the one who asked me to help him to forget Siwon-hyung. I would be careless if Kyu loved me or not, as long as I could have him in my arms. But then, it would torture me more, that I could make him stay beside me but his heart wasn’t mine. That every time he would say love, it was just a word, no more.

I wouldn’t let him go though. I just wanted him to be brave to deal with those sorrows.

Even though, on the other hand, looking Kyu loving someone else and getting hurt by that certain people hurt me too.

God, why things were always being so complex?

I smiled at my own confessing. That was so cheesy, but I couldn’t help it. That was all the things I was feeling for him. I knew that he couldn’t love me back sincerely. And I didn’t want Kyunnie, my precious Kyunnie lied to himself by pretending to love me or others.

Kyuhyunnie nodded slightly. I knew he understood.

Kyuhyun POV

I pressed my forehead against Changminnie’s. we were staying in that position for moments.

I was so sorry for him for hurting him. I was so immature and always leaning on him, taken care by him, although I knew that I couldn’t love him back. I felt bad for like using him, taking advantage of him for his unconditional love.

Sometimes I asked myself, why I couldn’t just love Changminnie? It would be less hurt, and much easier.

But again, to love someone means left no choice, no choice to choose to who we will fall.

Changminnie’s a great guy, and I was not a high scholars who would use him as a rebound guy. He was too kind, he was someone who would always stood there for me.

I held him tight, I wanted to transfer all the my gratitude of having him in my life, although we both knew that the feelings we had each other was different.

Changmin ruffled my hair, and we decided to bring me back to the dorm, he said that all hyungdeul were looking for me.

We stood up and walked to the door when I saw Kibum hyung was standing there, smiling at me (it was so rare to see him smile if you asked me because Kibum hyung was usually being cold to everyone and unapproachable) and greeted me and Changminne.

“Let’s back to the dorm,” Kibum hyung said while holding my hands slightly and Changmin hugged my shoulder. I felt protected, and it was nice. They were too nice to me no matter how childish I acted.

As soon as I stepped in the dorm room, Teukie hyung sighed in relief while the others hugged me one by one.

“aish, this magnae, do you want me to be seen much older with all frowns of worry? Don’t you dare do this again!” Chullie hyung pinched my cheek. I chuckled. That’s when I noticed that Siwon hyung was not there with the others.

I bit my lips, of course, why should he be care of me? He had his girl to take care of now. he didn’t need his cute little dongsaeng to play off.

No one POV

Chullie could sense the changing expresson of Kyu’s face after he had scanned the room. That was so obvious that Kyu felt disappointed not to find Siwon there. Apparently, when they were looking for Kyu, Siwon called Teukie, saying that Kibum and him already found Kyu who was with Changminnie. And that Kibum might probably bring Kyu back. after a pause for minutes he said that he would stay in his own apartment and wouldn’t visit the dorm unless there was a very important thing.

Teukie and others guessed that this had to something happened with Siwon. But, they still couldn’t figure it out.  

“Siwonnie will stay in his own apartment for couples of days, Kyunnie.” Teukie told Kyu softly. “Now, you better have some rest, you need that. You are still recovering.”

Kyuhyun just nodded in silent and walked toward his room as Changmin excused himself after squeezing Kyu’s hand in his grip, as if to tell him that everything would be fine. And Kibum was eyeing them without breaking the gaze.

Kibum POV

Siwon hyung must misunderstand what happened in the rooftop. Should I tell him? But for what? If he is just going to hurt Kyu’s feeling too, he better not knowing what is exactly happening.

It’s not that Kyuhyunnie and Changminnie are in relationship as Siwon hyung thinks.

I stood in silent.

 I don’t know what I should do. Telling Siwon hyung? then what? Will he do something to make Kyu happy? Or just torture him more?

Not telling Siwon hyung and let him misled? Let Kyu forget his unrequited love to Siwon hyung by letting this and made them have a space and distant? Will that make Kyu happy either?

 I would love to change my position into Siwon hyung or Changmin if only I could.

At least being Siwon hyung meant that he could feel that Kyu loved him for his dear life.

And being Changmin meant that he could love Kyu in his own way to protect him as his best friend.

But me, Kim Kibum? What could I do? I couldn’t be one of them. I just could watch him secretly as his hyung.

*dear readers, lemme torture Siwon and Kyu on the next chap, please? Kekekekekekekekeke.*

#got smacked by Siwon and Kyu