Siwon hyung was discharged from the hospital a week ago. And at this very moment, everything went so well, and by meaning ‘so well’ here was a never ending tight schedule that made us even didn’t have a space to take a breathe. But somehow Siwon hyung and I still could manage to steal minutes to spend with together. A very simple thing like cuddling on the back seat of the van when we were going back to the dorm after all the whole damn schedule, or sitting on the couch with me lulled him his requested songs.

Everything was perfect, only one thing though…

He said he loves me several times, yes he did.

But, he never asked me to be his lover. He doesn’t ask me yet and it troubles me.

And what made me even more upset was that there was rumor of him with another woman having a date just before he went to Taiwan yesterday.

It’s not that I don’t believe Siwon hyung’s word, but he always says ‘I love you’ too to the other members as well.

I knew that the way he treats me is so different now comparing to the other  members, he holds my hands, he hugs me, he kiss me, we do all the lovey dovey romantic things like a couple usually do.

But he is also known as the hugger and kisser and the one who loves skinships too much for any living creature whenever we are on the stage. I am being confused over myself now.

“Kyuhyunna…Kyu..HEY KYU!!!!” I jumped out from the couch. Geeze, Chullie hyung sure has a very high pitched tone though it’s not as high as Changmin’s, because if it is , I was sure I was getting deaf when he yelled at me.

“What is it hyung?” I asked him, frowning. It was already 10.30 p.m and it was so rare that we didn’t have anything to do. Sadly, Siwon was still doing his shooting at Taiwan, not so sure when he could manage to have days off.

“It has to be me who is asking what the hell is it Kyuhyunna.” He pouted, “you were spacing out for almost 30 minutes and it is freaking me out! Why don’t you just playing that damn starcraft like usual and bother us with your evil things, huh? It is so not you, evil magnae!” Heechul hyung blurted out.

I sighed listening to every words came up from Heechul hyung’s mouth.

“I don’t feel like playing game or anything, hyung. I just want to do nothing and being a good quiet cute magnae as you always ask me for” Heechul hung eyed me, raised his almost nonexistence eyebrow (don’t dare to tell him I said that, or you will see there is Cho Kyuhyun no more in Super Junior, seriously)

Teuki hyung who was there, sitting next to me, “is there anything bothering you recently, Kyuhyunna?” he asked me in concern. A lot hyung. A whole lot. I thought in my mind.

“It’s not like I doubt his feeling to me, hyung, but.. I don’t know how to put this, but, it seems like I don’t feel like I am his special person too.” I decided to tell them, well, who wouldn’t if the two eldest in the group asked you intently. They would be bucking all day long, especially Hechul hyung, if I didn’t tell him. “I know he saved me and else, I know that, but, deep inside my heart, there is something that is missing.” I explained to them.

That’s it, heechul thought. The magnae felt so insecure with his position. Well, he couldn’t blame him though. Their love is something that will need so much strength to carry on. As for Siwon, well, people thought him as Mr. Casanova as he is, treating women so good, and bla bla bla. In fact,he doesn’t know how to treat his special one. Aish! This is frustrating, he cursed mentally.

Teukie caringly ruffled the magnae’s soft hair, telling him not to worry about that and to just go sleeping.

At night.

Heechul POV

I couldn’t close my eyes at all although it was almost mid night. How could I keep my beauty face if I don’t get enough my beauty sleeping! Hufth! Blame pabbo Siwon to make me think about his damn problem with Kyu without he even knew about that. Sighing, I myself didn’t know why I was being so concern with them. Well, maybe I just love Kyu so much as my dongsaeng, an evil one if I may add. I understand now, why I care of him, it is because I have experienced much of having one sided love and I don’t want Kyu suffers from that kind of crap feelings. 

My ears caught a footstep from the living room. Curious, I walked slowly try just to see the tall man, standing infront of Kyuhyunna’s room.

“Hey!” I patted his shoulder.

"Jesus!" Siwonexclaimedin surprised.
"Actually, it's just me," I said to him calmly. "and no one even told me that me and Him resembles somehow. You need to check your eye, Siwonnie."

“Hyung... “He protested, ‘aish, okay Siwon and his religion, forgot how he would lecture me from A to Z about this.

“Save your words next time, Wonnie, I need to talk to you about Kyuhyunna.” I told him quickly before he got a chance to say something or else I had to end up listening to him for almost deadly 3 hours. His body stiffened. I grabbed his arm, and dragged him to the living room.

(Skip time)

Kyuhyun POV

I groaned a little when I felt like there was something heavy rested on my stomach. I swift and turned at my side, and suddenly I felt warm breath on my face. I jolted, so freaking afraid if by any God’s plan Yesung hyung sneaked again in my room just to touch my pilthrum. He has this kind of habit, for heaven’s sake.

“Ssi-won hyung??” my eyes blinked several times, was I still dreaming? Doubtedly, I caressed his cheeks, I could feel his warm skin against my slender fingers, so he was there, checked.

I smiled at him, it was so not me to be so cheesy, it was Siwon hyung’s job to do that, kekekeke, but I couldn’t resist to kiss him right away, so I leaned my elbows on the bed, and kissed Siwon hyung’s fully in lips, not so passionate because he was sleeping, just a short peck.

At least, that was the plan.

Until I felt his eyes opened and he smirked in the kiss, his hand held my neck to deepen the kiss.

A French kiss in the morning is not bad at all, unless you ate some amounts of garlic for the dinner the night before. And thankfully, Siwon never did that. our kiss was so passionate, hot, sloppy, and just hot.

We didn’t break the kiss though the urge to breath demanded us to do, we just rubbed our lips together to calm ourselves.

But, he released me after that, his arms were still resting in my waist, he embraced me in his tight hug, he didn’t wear any upper clothe that made me blush. I could even feel his heart beats, which was so fast.

“Baby…” his husky voice called me.

“Ne, hyung?” I replied, mumbled on his tanned chest.

"Do you remember back at the hospital when you prayed while I was in coma/ actually somehow I could hear every single word you said. You said in your prayer that if God would grant anything you asked him that time, you would ask for me. You would ask for me to live.” Siwon paused for a moment, smelling the honey scents from Kyuhyun’s hair, exhaling it deeply.

“If you really could ask anything in this world to be granted, would you still ask for me then?” Kyuhyun smiled up at Siwon, he looked at Siwon with his beautiful almond shaped eyes. “I would still ask for you, hyung.”

"You could have had anything else in the world, and you asked for me."
Kyuhyun again looked up at Siwon, and Siwon just realized how stupid he was for not realizing his love sooner for the beautiful angel beside him (well, an evil one sometimes)Kyuhyun, his Kyuhyunniewas the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
 

"But I don't want anything else in the world, hyung. I just want you, now and forever."Kyuhyun didn’t believe he said those cheesy words, he felt like he wanted to bang himself on the nearest wall. But, he couldn’t help to reveal his feeling to Siwon, he always kept everything inside. Telling Siwon how exactly he felt wouldn’t harm him for good, well, just his dignity maybe.

They both remained silent for couple of minutes.

“hyung, what were you thinking?’ Kyuhun asked him. Siwon kissed Kyuhyun’s forehead and smiled genuinely.

"I was thinking about the first time I ever saw you," Siwonsaid, "and how after that I couldn't forget you. I wanted to, but I couldn't stop myself. I forced to tell myself that it was wrong, that maybe I just adored you no more, but my heart kept calling your name. and I did sort of bad things, like dating random women just to reassure that I was straight hurting you but I still stole kisses and hugged you when we were on the live broadcast. And even back then, in that stupid rooftop, when I saw you sitting on that floorwith Changmin hugging you, even then that felt wrong to me-- I should have been the one comfortingyouthough stupidly I was the one who hurt you.Changmin always made you laugh and sometimes I felt thatthe one who made you laugh like thatwas supposed to be me. I couldn't get rid of that feeling. That it should have been me. And the more I knew you, the more I felt it--it had never been like that for me before. I'd always wanted a girl and then gotten to know her and not wanted her anymore, but with you the feeling just got stronger and stronger until that night when the accident happened, and how I wanted to save youand Ijustknew."

Kyuhyun felt so flustered with Siwon’s confession. He never knew how deep Siwon’s thought about him. He was never being cheesy or touchy, but being with Siwon could turn his world upside down.

“But,, this feeling, this feeling I have for you, is it wrong hyung?” Kyuhyun found the urge of bursting the tears. All this time, he kept telling himself that there’s nothing wrong with loving someone, because love makes no boundaries, but somehow, at this very moment, he was scared, he was scared if by any chance Siwon stepped back and left him broken heart, again.

Siwon sighed, he understood the choice they made would have a huge effect, but God himself who grants them with the love they have each other.

It’s a gift, no matter how wrong it is,

"I know it's wrong,  it's all kinds of wrong - but I just want to lie down with you and wake up with youforever in my life.

"Since I've realized this feeling for you, everything I've done has been in part because of you. I can't untie myself from you, not my heart or my blood or my mind or any other part of me. And I don't want to.I know that we have tons to worry, our carriers, our life, family, fans. Somehow, we will figure it out.”

They kissed again, just to reassure, to tell each other, to calm each other.

“Baby… “Siwon said. He was told by Heechul how Kyuhyun felt recently. He knew he just couldn’t announce to the world that they are together now, he couldn’t tell public that Kyuhyun was his, vice versa. What was worse that he didn’t have time to ask Kyuhyun personally to be his only one. Siwon thought it was enough because Kyuhyunnie could feel his feeling without him had to say those words. But, all the problems made both of them felt insecure of their relationship.

He had to make sure he wouldn’t lose his precious Kyu, he almost lost him once. Thinking that his kyuhyun would end up with another person was something he couldn’t bear to think.

"There is no pretending," Siwonsaid with absolute clarity. "I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there is life after that, I'll love you then, would you stand by my side? No matter what future may bring to us, will you always be someone I hold?

Will you be my lover? The only one for me?”

Kyuhyun has waited for these words, he sobbed while hugging his lover now tightly, didn’t left any distance between them.

“Yes, hyung”

*this chappie is the cheesiest one I’ve ever written.. dear me… :p sorry for the late update, just had a writer’s block. I don’t know if this is satisfying or not though. *bows, really sorry*