Yoohyeon's POV:

Once again, Minji was right. Wasting training time hanging out with others led Siyeon, Dami and I to defeat while her team and her destroyed the boys. After this defeat, I felt so disappointed, so guilty. But not only because we lost, but also because Minji was right all this time. She knew what she was talking about while I was just pushing her to stop training for some time. Our break up was only my fault and I felt so bad for this. I had just been humiliated by a group of boys and my girlfriend had dumped me because of my ignorance. I felt like everything was going wrong, that all the good things I had in my life were slipping through my hands.

After this mission, our agency took us out of the survival to attend our tour in Brazil. Our manager went to pick us by car in front of the building and waited for us to do our last goodbyes to the other contestants. I hugged them one by one, wishing them good luck for the rest of the survival and finally arrived in front of Ryujin, hugging her tightly.

"Thank you for taking good care of her during those weeks." I thanked her, still hugging her.

"It was the least I could do. And... I'm so sorry for your break up, it's all my fault..." She said, pulling back and looking down.

"W-What? How did you know?" I whispered-yelled, shocked about her knowing. "And of course not, why would it be your fault?" I asked her, putting my hands on her shoulders, making her look at me.

"It was kind of obvious." She smiled. "And maybe Jiu unnie told me too."

"She told you?"

"Yes, she did. That night when you came to our room, you remember? Once you left, she told me how incredible and beautiful you were. I then asked if you were dating and she confirmed it. But a few days after, she came back crying and told me you broke up. It's because I sent you to her, no? Because you scolded her and she didn't like it, right?"

"Of course not! There was already some tension between us before that, so I think that was the final straw..." I reassured her sadly.

"Okay, I understand. Well, I hope it will get better between you, at least as friends."

"I hope so too." I smiled at her, hugging her again. "Goodbye Ryujin, take care of yourself."

"Thank you unnie, take care of yourself too."

I let go of her and smiled to the contestants one last time before going in the car, sitting next to Siyeon. Yubin sat behind us while Minji sat in the front but as soon as I got in the car, I could feel her stare on me through the rear mirror, and it made me feel more than uncomfortable. Luckily, Siyeon's hand on mine quickly helped me to feel better.

It has been one week since she broke up with me and the pain was still the same, not leaving me for even a second. Every night, I wanted so much to let go of this pain and let all the tears I held inside go out but I couldn't, my roommates would have ask questions. Luckily, our song was a sad one so I didn't need to pretend to be happy. Insomnias would have noticed otherwise.

But when I watched Minji do her y-cute performance, I didn't see a hint of sadness. Yet, Ryujin told me she was crying after our break up and she still loved me when we were together. Well, at least that was what I was thinking before but her emotionless expression made me doubt even her previous feelings for me. Or did she really move on that fast? So our relationship meant that little to her?

I raised my head to focus my attention from my lap to the road in front of us but met her eyes in the rear mirror. My heart suddenly fastened and I tightened my grip on Siyeon's hands, trying to find some comfort. Was she looking at me since we left?

"Yoohyeona... I-" Minji started but was quickly cut by an aggressive Siyeon.

"No, unnie."

What was she about to say? She just called me with an affectionate nickname, she wasn't going to say anything hurtful. Why did Siyeon cut her? I was always grateful that she protected me as she always did but right now I just wanted to listen to what Minji wanted to say. Just that nickname coming from her lips brought hope to my heart. I tried to make eye contact with her in the rear mirror to let her know that, even if I didn't want to turn against Siyeon, I still wanted to listen to what she was about to say. But she wasn't looking in the same direction anymore and was now playing uncomfortably with her fingers.

The rest of the route was silence, nobody dared to speak. From time to time, I checked in the rear mirror to see the eyes I loved so much but Minji was looking at the road, seeming lost in her thoughts. What was she thinking about? Us I hoped. Maybe she was reconsidering our break up. But it would be too good to be true.

As we arrived in front of the dorm, we climbed the stairs still in silence and I could feel the strong tension between Minji and Siyeon. Suddenly, I felt really guilty. Them, who were best friends for years were now fighting because of my mistakes. But my pain quickly left when I entered in the apartment and saw three big smiles welcoming us. Minji opened her arms to hug Sua but the main dancer passed her without even looking at her and went to hug me instead.

"I heard what happened, I'm so sorry for you, Yoohyeon." She whispered in my ear, not letting go of me. "I promise I will help you to move on from this."

I lightly nodded and hugged her back, grateful for this comforting hug and encouraging words. She loved teasing me but I knew that she would always be here to support me when I would need her.

"Now, go rest a little, puppy. I'm joining you in a bit." She said, pulling back from the hug and patting my a few times.

I detached myself from her and headed to my room. But when I passed by Minji, I slowed down without looking at her, to give her time to call me, if she wanted to tell me something. But nothing, she said nothing. I entered in my room and close the door, before jumping on my bed and buried myself under the blanket.

And without realizing it, I fell deeply asleep, not even hearing that someone entered in the room and climbed on my bed. But as soon as I felt some movement next to me, I slightly opened my eyes, even though the person turned off the lights, I could see a blurred figure laying in front of me. It was probably Sua who wanted to comfort me again by sleeping with me. I came closer to her and hugged her, hiding my face in the crook of her neck. But something was off, Sua was smaller and definitely didn't have the same shapes. However, this body was really familiar, I knew I already slept with this person a lot. So, among the members, who could it be?

That's when I realized, I understood why I knew her so well, every little parts of her body. This person was Minji. I quickly let go of her and sat on my bed, crawling far away from her. What was she doing here, in my bed, hugging me?

"M-Minji?" I asked to be sure.

"Oh, I'm sorry I woke you up." She said, sitting.

"W-What are you doing here?"

"Y-You don't want me here?"

What? What was she talking about? Of course, I wanted her. But she just broke up with me and ignored me for a whole week. So why did she suddenly came to sleep with me? I didn't answer and just stared at her silhouette, waiting for an explanation.

"I... I wanted to talk to you. But when I arrived, you were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you up. So I turned off the lights and climbed in your bed to hug you because... I felt like doing it?"

"You felt like doing it? Minji, you can't just do things because you feel like doing them! We just broke up!" I raised my voice.

"Friends can't sleep together?"

"F-Friends?" I was caught off guard by this word. Since our fight, we didn't talk to each other so I couldn't even know what we were anymore.

"Aren't we... friends?"

No, I hoped we weren't. In the car, she wanted to talk to me and just now she hugged me in my bed. I couldn't hide that I felt a little hope that she still wanted me as her girlfriend. But looked like I was wrong.

"Yes, of course... we are friends." I answered, looking down. But, as I felt her eyes on me, I raised my head and saw a sad expression on her face. "What is it?"

"I... Look Yoohyeon, I know I really messed up and you probably hate me right now but I wanted to let you know that I'm really sorry and I regret a lot what I did."

"W-What are you talking about?"

"I yelled at you for being with someone else but it was all my fault. You were searching for some comfort because I pushed you away. And I know you would never cheat on me, I was stupid to think that."

Suddenly, my hope came back. I felt like I was in a roller coaster, my feelings changing from one extreme to the other in a second.

"What do you mean with that?" I tried to push her to say it.

"I..."

"Yes?"

"I want you back, Yoohyeon. I want you back in the position you used to have in my head and my heart. I want you back as the center of my world, as the light of my life. I want you back as the love of my life, Kim Yoohyeon."

I couldn't be happier, I wanted to jump everywhere and scream to the world that she was mine again. But I wanted to mess up with her a little bit.

"And what if I don't want?"

"Then I would understand. I hurt you a lot and I don't deserve you as a lover. I would already be honored to be your friend and your leader."

"And what if I don't want to be your friend neither and I don't want you to lead me anymore." I said as coldly as I could. But it was so hard to hold my laugh as she looked at me with widened eyes.

"R-Really? You hate me that much?" That's when I saw tears in her eyes that I understood this jock went too far.

I crawled quickly to her and hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek a few times before placing a soft kiss on her lips.

"I was kidding, of course I want to be your girlfriend again." I smiled at her as I saw her face brighten in a second.

"Don't do this to me, you're mean! I really thought I lost you for good!" She laughed, hugging me tightly and laying us on the bed.

"You will never loose me, Minji. Do you hear me?" I reassured her, gently caressing her cheeks.

"I love you so much, Hyeon. And I'm really sorry for what I did. I was just so stressed and the production was putting a lot of pressure on my shoulders, I was losing my mind."

"I know, I know. Don't think about it anymore, it's in the past." I reassured her, leaving a few kissing everywhere on her face.

It was so good to finally have her back in my arms again. I missed her touch, her embrace and her soft kisses, I miss her sweetness and her smiles full of love she only gave to me. I missed everything about her and be back in her arms was the most incredible thing in the world, I felt at home.

**********

Two weeks later, we left for our tour in Brazil and it was one of the most amazing experiences I ever had in my whole life. Being able to meet our fans and travel to the other end of the world with my family made my body and heart so warm and so full. My life couldn't be better, especially since I could do all those things with my girlfriend, the person I loved the most in the world. After we got back together, I could feel again the Minji I loved so much, always so bright and caring, taking care of me as if I was the eighth wonder of the World. But even though we were the happiest together, Siyeon still didn't agree with this relationship and she paid attention to everything that happened, ready to get me back if things got out of hand, but especially ready to yell at Minji like she had never done before if she dared to hurt me again.

But Minji and I were doing really fine together so I didn't believe her. However, she had to be right. When we came back from Brazil, we started to prepare our next mini album with our title track "You and I". And preparation time meant stress and rejection from my girlfriend, again. How stupid was I to think she would change after our break up? But I wasn't going to give up on her, she once realized her mistakes so I was sure that, if I pushed her a little bit, she would open her eyes and see how her behavior was destroying our relationship, was destroying me.

"Love?" I asked, entering in the training room while she was doing the choreography alone once again.

"Hey, Hyeon!" She called me, not stopping her training.

She wasn't looking at me and wasn't running to me to hug me but at least she saw I was in the room and wasn't bothered by it, since she just called me 'Hyeon'. It was going pretty great for now.

"Do you want to do a break and come to eat an ice cream with me?"

"No, thanks, I don't have the time for this."

"R-Really? You don't even have 15 minutes for your girlfriend?" I pouted cutely, trying to use the cute girlfriend card to convince her.

"Not now, Yoohyeon, I'm busy. This evening at the dorm if you want."

I felt like I was just an appointment on her schedule and I started to get tired of it. Now, I had to make her realize what she was doing, even if it was going to be hard for her.

"Don't you remember what happened the last time you pushed me away for a training?"

"It wasn't the same, it was a survival."

"Yes, but you are doing exactly the same."

"Right now is more important Yoohyeon. For the survival, we were going to leave anyway!" She raised her voice a little, coming to me now that the song was finished.

"So, you're telling me you broke up with me... for nothing?" I asked, feeling my heart tighten and tears rise.

She preferred to train for something that was almost worthless rather than spend time with her girlfriend. How was I supposed to react to this?

"Don't be ridiculous, you know it's not that."

"Then explain to me what it is! I just want to have a ing ice cream with my ing girlfriend! Is it too much to ask?" I yelled at her, now on the verge of crying.

"Why are you so selfish? If we don't train enough, we will finish like Minx, and it will be all your fault!" She shouted at me.

'Selfish'? That was what she was really thinking? Was she really thinking that I wanted our group to fail?

"Okay... I understand... I'm sorry..." I quietly said looking down, not able to hold my tears anymore.

"No, wait Yoohyeon, that's not what I wanting to-" She started to say softly when I ran outside, not hearing the end of her sentence. "Yoohyeon! Wait!" I heard yelled behind me, but I didn't care and continued to run.

And I ran, far from her, far from my pain. I ran for what seemed like hours. I ran without even knowing where I was going. But I ran, as fast as I could. Finally, I stopped in a street that looked familiar, it was the street of our dorm. I walked to the entrance door and climbed lazily the stairs, before entering in the apartment and falling on the couch, exhausted. At that moment Siyeon came out of the room and walked to me.

"Hey Yoohyeona! How was your trai-" She stopped when she saw my red eyes. Suddenly, her stare became black as if she was going to kill someone. "What did she do?"

Of course she knew. She was here from the beginning and knew Minji and I like no one else. I buried my face in the couch, not wanting to talk about it. She was going to yell at Minji for sure and I didn't want that. I was her girlfriend after all, I had to protect her.

"Yoohyeon, tell me please. You can't keep that to yourself, it will only hurt you." She said in a soft tone.

She walked to me and sat on the couch, gently caressing my back. I turned my head to the side to be able to talk, and sobbed a few times.

"I don't want you to yell at her again." I whispered under my sobs.

"But she's hurting you, Yoohyeon. I can't let that happen."

"Please..." I pleaded her, turning my body to fully see her.

"Okay." She agreed, sighing. "Now, tell me."

I slowly sat down, still sobbing a little and took a deep breath before telling her what happened.

"She... I..."

"It's okay, take your time."

"This afternoon, I came to see her in the training room to offer her to take a break. I thought that... I thought that she was going to accept, since she knew what led us to break up. But once again, she rejected me and when I reminded her why we broke up, she just shouted at me that... that I was selfish, that I didn't think of the group and that... we were going to finish like Minx because of me." I looked down. At this memory, I felt my heart burning so much and pushed my hands on my chest, trying to ease the pain, but it didn't change anything.

"You know it's not true, right?" Siyeon asked me, hugging me tightly and putting my head on her shoulder.

I lightly nodded, even if it wasn't true. I didn't know what to think and who I could believe anymore. I felt so dizzy by all this mess around me and I didn't know what to do.

"Yoohyeon, look at me." She said, grabbing my shoulders and pulling me back a little. "I know you love Minji and you know I do too. But we both know how she is, she hates to show her weak side to others. She'd rather push us away than show weakness under all this pressure. She just wants to protect us from the stress of being an idol and I am more than grateful for that. But that's not an excuse for what she's doing to you. Don't you agree with me?"

"Yeah... you're right..."

"Yooh, I'm worried about you, you can't continue like this. I know you both love each other but this relationship is toxic and I'm sure you realized it already. You have to do something about it."

"What can I do?" I asked with a broken voice, looking straight into her eyes. I couldn't think of any other solution than breaking up and this thought made my heart tighten and my tears rise. "I can't live without her, Siyeon. I just can't."

"I know, but you won't live without her, she's always your leader after all. And we will all continue to sleep under the same roof, right?" She smiled at me.

"So... what should I do? Break up with her?" I asked, searching for another alternative.

"Hum... maybe a break up is really sudden and definitive, no? What about just a break? Only for the promotion time, and then you see where you are. If you feel like being single was better for you, then stay this way. Otherwise... well, I can't really tell you want to do."

"Yes, you're right... once again." I chuckled sadly, looking at my hands on my lap. Was I really going to stop the relationship that lighted my life? Was I really going to push away the person I loved the most in this whole world?

"So, what are you going to do?" She asked.

"Take a break from her? I think it's the best thing I could do. Especially since at least she will be able to focus on training without worrying about me. So, it's good for the both of us, no?"

"Yes, it is. I'm proud of you, Yoohyeon." She said, gently kissing my forehead. "Now, go and rest a little while waiting for her. And send her a little message saying you want to talk."

"Okay, I will do that. Thank you, Siyeon." I kissed her cheek and walked to my room, taking my phone out and messaging Minji.

**********

After an hour or so, I went to wait in her room. I thought it would be better, since I would be able to leave the room after the break up. Otherwise, she would have stayed in my room, trying to convince me to think again, and I wasn't strong enough to face her for long. At least, like this, Siyeon would be able to help Minji after, and I would probably need Sua or Yubin too.

After a few minutes, I heard the entrance door violently open and close as someone ran to my room.

"Yoohyeon? Hyeon where are you?" Minji asked from outside. I then heard her run to Yubin's room and finally Handong and Gahyeon's room. "Yoohyeon, please answer me!"

"I'm here, Minji." I said with an unsure voice, standing up to open the door of her room.

But, as I was approaching the door, it wide opened and almost hit me. I didn't even have the time to blink that a tornado entered in the room and hugged me tightly.

"Yoohyeon, I'm so sorry for what I said and how I behaved. You know I didn't mean anything I said, right?" She said, hugging me even tighter.

I wanted to hug her back so badly but I couldn't. I was about to break up with her, I couldn't comfort her. But it became even harder when I felt her tears wet my shirt. Seeing her cry was breaking my heart, and the worst was that I was going to make her suffer even more.

"You can't imagine how much I regret what happened this afternoon. I know I'm the worst girlfriend you could ever have, but I promise I will work hard to get better. I promise I will do my best to make you proud to have me as your girlfriend. But please, Hyeon, don't leave me, you promised." Her last sentence was muffled by sobs but I still understood and it honestly made me question my decision. That was true, I promised. But when she came back after Minx, she promised too but still broke up with me during Mixnine.

And without even realizing it, I put my arms around her and hugged her back. What was I supposed to do now? Take a break from her, as I planned it, or believe her and try again?

"Yoohyeon? Can you say something please?" She asked softy, still sobbing a little.

I pulled back from the hug and cupped her face, wiping her tears away with my thumbs. She looked so small, so vulnerable. How was I supposed to abandon her?

"Minji, I..." I started, removing my hands from her face. But as soon as I did so, new tears left her eyes and it broke my heart more than anything.

"I know you want to break up with me, no need to beat around the bush. I'm sorry for being so disappointing, you deserve a lot better than that." She cried, looking down.

"Hey, no, of course you weren't disappointing." I said, cupping her cheeks again, making her look at me. "Minji, you are the best girlfriend I could dream of."

"But you want to break up with me." She sobbed. She looked so weak right now, just like a little kid we would want to protect at all cost. Letting her now would be a disaster for her and for the whole group, I couldn't do that.

"No, Minji, I won't break up with you. I will stay with you and help you whenever you need me." I hugged her tightly, kissing her temple a few times.

"I love you, Yoohyeon. I love you so much." She cried loudly in my arms.

She was finally breaking down. After all those years holding back in front of me, she finally let go of her pain and let me help her. And I was really happy about that, it was a really good start.

After a few minutes, she calmed down a little bit, surrendering to my arms and letting me cradle her gently. I took her to her bed, making sure she was comfortable under her blanket, before leaving a soft kiss on her lips and forehead.

"Good night, Minji. I love you." I whispered, standing up.

"I love you more." She whispered back with a cute smile.

I smiled back and left the room, turning off the light and closing the door. But as soon as I was out of the room, Siyeon came to see me.

"You couldn't do it, right?"

Suddenly, I felt really uncomfortable next to her and didn't dare to look at her. This afternoon, she told me how proud she was. But, in the end, I didn't do what she wanted me to. She must have been so disappointing.

"Yoohyeon, look at me." She said, lifting my chin with her fingers. "I'm not mad at you, don't worry. I know how hard it was, but you tried at least. And Minji knows she almost lost her girlfriend, she will probably be more careful from now. I hope it will get better between you two." She softly smiled at me.

"Thank you for understanding." I said, hugging her tightly. "And thank you for always being here for me, I'm really grateful for that."

She left a soft kiss on my cheek and pulled back from the hug, passing me and opening the door of her room.

"No problem, little one. Good night." She smiled one last time before entering in her room and closing the door.

"Good night." I whispered back, even if she couldn't hear me anymore.

I headed back to my room and climbed quietly on my bed, since Sua was already sleeping. Now that I clarified things with Minji, I didn't know how it was going to evolve, but I was looking for it, for a better future for us.

**********

After that day, Minji was really careful with what she said and did, even stopping her training from time to time to spend some time with me. And I was more than grateful for that, it was the first time that she was treated me this well during a promotion, it felt really good. With this, she proved that she could be the best leader and the best girlfriend at the same time.

Finally, our comeback arrived and 'You and I' went out. And honestly, it was the best comeback I ever did. The fans loved our title track and the whole album and we were going from performances to TV shows and interviews every day. But the best thing about this comeback was the end of the day, when I knew two arms were waiting for me at the dorm. Being able to live my idol life and enjoy my love life at the same time made me so fulfilled.

During one of the fansign, I fell during the performance and didn't dare to stand up, so ashamed of myself, but Minji came to pick me up and reassured me, giving me enough confidence to continue. She was really the best thing that happened in my life and I was so glad I didn't break up with her that evening.

After a few weeks of promotion, we left for the Bingo Music Festival in Vietnam and we were all so excited. It had been so long since we left Korea to see our foreign Insomnia! During our 4-hour flight, I couldn't keep my excitement and shared it with my members by jumping everywhere and talking nonstop until Minji took me by the hand and made me sit to rest with her for the rest of the flight.

After a few hours, we finally arrived at the hotel. Sua and Siyeon decided to take a room together while Dongie, Yubin and Gahyeon took the 3-person room to let me with my girlfriend. We quickly unpacked and left right away to the concert hall. Luckily, I was the first to get my make up done so I could just chill and try to calm down a little bit. When Minji, who was the last one to be prepared, was ready, she gathered us and took a serious expression.

"Girls, today is a really important concert, we have to be perfect." We all nodded. "The fans will be everywhere around the scene so even if you think you're hidden, you're not, keep that in mind."

"Don't worry, bunny, we got this as always." Siyeon reassured her with a smile, trying to relax her.

"No, not as always, that's the problem." She said, looking at me.

"Wh-What do you mean?" I asked.

"Last time was a fan meeting so it was okay to fall, but today, you can't do something like that."

"B-But, I didn't fall on purpose, you know that!... Right?"

"Yoohyeon, we can't afford a mistake like that in such an important festival, try to focus." She said, looking straight into my eyes. And that stare was scaring me, what she just told me felt more like a threat than anything.

And as always, Siyeon's hand found its way to mine and squeezed it lightly without taking her eyes off of Minji.

"Unnie." She called with a low and menacing voice. "Careful."

"Siyeon, I'm the leader, I'm saying that for the group. We can't do any mistake of this kind here. You wouldn't want to disappoint the fans, Yoohyeon, right?" She said, standing and looking down at me since I was on a chair.

I was looking at her, speechless. I was frozen by her words, did she really think I was going to disappoint the fans? How could she bring back the fall? She knew I didn't fall on purpose, especially since I hurt my knee. I knew that this day was a really big event but she didn't have to act this way. Honestly, this behavior scared me, I felt pressured by her power, suffocated almost, as if I couldn't do anything against her.

"Dreamcatcher, it's your turn in two minutes." Said a staff member.

We stood up and followed him, my hand still in Siyeon's, trying to find a safe place since mine was gone. A few minutes ago, I was so excited about this performance but now, I could only feel stressed and anxious. If I failed again, Insomnias would be disappointed, but mostly Minji and I didn't want that. As we got closer to the scene, my heart was beating faster and faster, threatening to pop out of my chest. I had to be perfect and not make any mistakes, for Insomnias, for Minji.

**********

After 10 minutes, we had finished our performance and headed back to the changing room, proud of what we did. As Minji wanted, we were perfect and didn't do any mistakes.

"Good job everyone!" Congratulated our manager. "To celebrate this success, you are all invited to the restaurant tonight!" At those words, all the staff and members exclaimed with joy, big smiles on their face.

"Hum..." Siyeon interrupted them. "It's really nice of you but I can't. With Yoohyeon, we already planned a chill evening at the hotel watching movies. And you know how she is, those evenings are sacred to her."

What? What was she talking about? We never planned something like this. But as soon as I looked at her in the eyes, I understood. She did that for me, to offer me a nice and calm evening away from all my problems and I was more than grateful for that.

"Hyeon, you're not coming with us?" Minji asked with a sad tone.

"No." I answered faster than I wanted to. But I couldn't break again for her. "I wanted to do this with Siyeon for a long time." I lied.

"Okay, I understand." She looked around her and came to me, caressing gently my cheek. But her touch only burnt me and I could still see this scaring stare she had a few minutes ago, even if she was softer now. I couldn't take this look out of my head, this look so menacing, so hurting. "See you tonight." She said pecking my lips. I wanted to pull back but I didn't want to look suspicious so I just let her do whatever she wanted to do. I wouldn't have been able to stop her anyway, she had always been stronger than me, I couldn't do anything against her. And above all I didn't want to piss her off and see this look again.

"Let's go, Yooh." Siyeon said, taking my hand and pulling me far from Minji. "I will drive us at the hotel, you can go to your restaurant directly." She said to the others, walking away. I waved goodbye at my members and the staff we met and followed her outside, climbing in her car.

"So, which movie do you want to watch?" She asked me as she closed the door of the driver seat.

"Were you serious about that?" I chuckled.

"Of course! But I don't have a lot of movies on my computer so maybe we can find a video club to rent some DVDs."

"Or we could be delinquents and watch movies on illegal streaming websites?" I smirked.

"Oh my god, who are you? What did you do to my innocent puppy Yoohyeon?" She laughed.

"Enough!" I laughed, playfully hitting her shoulder. "Should we go now? We can stop by a fast food to buy something to eat in front of the movie, no?"

"Yes, good idea! Chicken wings, wait for us!" She said as she drove us away.

**********

In the end, we chose to watch a rom-com that Siyeon liked. The main couple was really cute, she was a badass business woman while he was a young employee really clumsy at expressing his feelings. After two hours and half, the movie finished on their wedding where everyone was happy and found the love of their life.

"Do you want to watch something else?" Siyeon asked.

"Sure! Another rom-com?" I asked cutely with my best puppy eyes.

"Everything you want!" She answered searching for some movies of this type. "Why do you like this much this kind of movies though?"

"I don't know, it's cute?" I said, looking at her. But she was staring at me, as if she wanted to say something but didn't dare. And of course, I knew what she wanted to talk about. "Please, don't start with that." I sighed.

"Start with what? I didn't say anything!" She defended herself, raising her hands.

"But you were about to do it!"

"I can't deny that I thought about it but this evening was to make you forget your problems so, no, I wasn't going to talk about it!" She raised her voice a little. "But if you want to confide in me about your feelings, I'm always here to listen to you." She said with a soft and reassuring voice.

"It's just... no, it's nothing." I sighed, remembering what happened earlier that day.

"You felt scared maybe?"

Just the memory of this stare and those words gave me goosebumps and made me feel uncomfortable and almost unsecure. I lightly nodded, looking down, I felt ashamed to be scared of my girlfriend, since I was supposed to feel the opposite.

"Yoohyeon, I won't tell you anything because you already know what I think."

"Yeah, that this relation is toxic, that it's only hurting me and bla-bla-bla." I said in a nonchalant tone.

"Yoohyeon..."

"Yes, I know!" I suddenly raised my voice. Of course, I knew it. Minji was the reason of most of my pain and she hurt me like no one ever had, but I loved her more than anything and I couldn't imagine my life without her. So, the only thing I could do was ignore this feeling and just enjoy what I could enjoy in this relationship. "But I can't break up with her, she's my everything... but you can't understand..." I said defeated. That was probably the reason why she was against us, she didn't know what it was to truly love someone.

"Well, I can understand. I also found the love of my life, Yooh. So that's why I can understand how hard it must be to stop this relationship, but yours is just killing you, it's not giving you anything good."

"You... you have someone?" How come I didn't know? And how come I never noticed? Was she never going on date or meet this person outside?

"Yes, I have someone." She smiled. "But, it's not the subject now. I'm trying to help you here. So, tell me what you feel about all of that, you know you can tell me everything."

"I..." 'I know how to take care of myself, I don't need you.', 'Let's break up', 'Why are you so selfish? If we don't train enough, we will finish like Minx, and it will be all your fault!', 'You wouldn't want to disappoint the fans, Yoohyeon, right?'. All these memories flashed through my mind one by one, making my heart tightened as if something was crushing my chest. "I don't know what to do anymore, Siyeon. I'm so lost..." I admitted, fighting my tears.

"It's okay, Yoohyeon, you can let go." She said, hugging me tightly. "Tell me how you felt this afternoon."

"I felt... I don't know... unsafe? Vulnerable? I felt like a prisoner of her, of her power, as if I could do nothing against her. I was afraid she would hurt me and... her look was so threatening." I sobbed, trying to hold my tears, but it was too hard, my cheeks were already wet.

"I see. And after the performance, when she was softer and kissed you, what did you feel?" She asked, gently caressing my hair.

"I was still scared and I couldn't forget this stare. Her touch burned me and I didn't dare to stop her from kissing me, I didn't want to piss her off and make the scary and threatening Minji to come back." I explained, blinded by my tears now flowing.

"Yes, I understand. Do you think you could face her now? Do you want to sleep here? I can ask Sua to change room with you if you want."

"No, it's okay, unnie. I will just try to fall asleep before her return." I said, wiping my tears with the sleeves of my sweat.

"Alright, so you're leaving now? Text me if you need anything, okay?"

"Yes, I will." I said, kissing her cheek and pulling back from the hug. "Good night, unnie. See you tomorrow." I waved goodbye, leaving the room.

"Good night, Yoohyeonie." She waved back her hand.

I lazily went back in my room and took a brief shower before lying down on my bed and covering myself with the blanket. But I didn't even have time to turn off the lights that the entrance door opened. Oh no, she's back. I quickly turned to the other side, back facing her and prayed she wouldn't talk to me. But my fears came back and, at that moment, I regretted not accepting Siyeon's offer to sleep in her room.

Luckily, she went straight to the bathroom and I heard the water flow, she was probably taking a shower. So it let me enough time to fall asleep. But as hard as I tried, it was impossible, I tried to close my eyes and empty my head but it didn't work. I couldn't fall asleep in a place where I didn't feel safe, I couldn't do anything about it. And as time passed, I became more and more anxious at the thought of her coming back.

I can't sleep here was what I concluding in the end. I stood up from my bed, wanting to go to sleep in Siyeon's room but suddenly, I realized. Silence. I couldn't hear anything, not even the water of the shower flowing. When did she finish? , she was about to come out at any moment, I couldn't risk her seeing me leaving, she would ask me questions. I ran to the bed and buried myself under the blanket, trying to find the same position I was in a few seconds ago. And at that moment, the door of the bathroom opened. My heart was beating so fast, I could even hear it in my ears. And it became even worse when I felt her climb on the bed and put her arms around my waist, spooning me. I was now shaking uncontrollably under her touch, trying to hold my breath.

"Hyeon, are you okay? You're shaking like crazy, are you cold maybe?" She asked, gently caressing my bare arm. "Oh my god, you're so hot! Yoohyeon, wake up please, look at me!" She said, pulling on my shoulder to try to make me face her. But I fought back, not wanting to meet her scary stare again. "Okay, don't move, I come back."

At those words, I felt her leave the bed and go to her suitcase, searching for something. I then heard the door of the bathroom open and the water flow for a few seconds. She then came back and gently pulled my shoulder once again. But, this time, I let myself go. It was useless to resist anyway. I turned to lay on my back and met her eyes, full of concern.

"Oh, you're awake? I'm sorry I woke you up." She said, placing a wet cloth on my forehead.

"I'm okay, unnie, don't worry." I said, taking away the cloth from my face.

"Unnie?" She asked, surprised. , whenever I felt a distance between us, I used honorifics without meaning to, and she knew it. "Is there something wrong?" She asked, worried. But not the same kind of worry as before. This time, she was concerned about our relationship.

"No, there is nothing wrong." I lied, looking away. Of course, I wasn't going to tell her that I was scared of her.

"Please, Hyeon, tell me. I hate to see you uncomfortable around me. If I did something wrong, please, let me know, so I can fix things with you." She pleaded me.

But the only answer I gave her was the silence. It wasn't because I didn't want to answer but because I didn't know what to say. How was I supposed to tell her that I felt unsafe around her? Suddenly, her arms hugged my waist and she looked at me with puppy eyes.

"Please, Hyeon, tell me. I promise I won't get mad." She looked so cute, so harmless.

"I..." I didn't know what to say. I tried to make myself as small as possible between her two arms, all curled up on myself, my hands crossed on my chest. At that moment, I just wanted to disappear far from this world.

"Yes?" Minji brought me back to reality. I met her eyes one more time, but this time, I didn't feel scared or threatened.

"It's just... this afternoon, I was a bit startled by your... seriousness?" I tried to find the good words. But as soon as I answered, I felt her embrace loosen up.

"Were you... scared of me?" She asked softly.

"I... yes." I whispered the last part, looking away.

"Hyeon, you know I would never hurt you, right? You are the most precious thing in my life and I love you more than anything. I admit I was too harsh on you today, I'm so sorry about that, I didn't mean to scare you, I promise." She apologized, gently caressing my cheek.

But, once again, I stayed silent. A new promise she was telling, I didn't know what to think about it. Every time she did promises, it didn't end well. Why would it be different this time?

"Also, I'm really sorry I didn't see it after the performance. Now that I think about it, you froze when I kissed you, and the excuse Siyeon made should have alerted me. I was so blind to have not seen it earlier, I'm so sorry for that..."

"No, don't be sorry for that, you couldn't know. Plus, I tried to hide it so it's normal you didn't realize it."

"But I should have, I'm your girlfriend, it's my job to understand your feelings without words. And I was really stupid to put so much pressure on you when I knew you would be perfect, as always."

"Not as always, you said it yourself."

"I was talking nonsense. You always give your best and even more than that. Don't you remember the state you were in after your fall? You were crying because you though you disappointed the fans while you should have worry about your wounded knee. I was really stupid to tell you those things today, especially when none of them were true. I truly regret what I did and I want to make it up to you. But it's probably too soon for you.."

Her saying this with her sweet voice and gentle hand on my cheek calmed my heartbeat. Plus, I couldn't see any sign of threat in her eyes anymore, only concern and kindness. I got closer to her and hugged her tightly.

"I love you, Minji." I said, wanting to let her know that, no matter what we went through, I would still love her.

"I love you even more." She said, hugging me even tighter.

We stayed like this for a few minutes in silence, just enjoying each other's embrace. Siyeon was right, this relationship was more than toxic, but that was those little moments of happiness that made me stay with Minji.

"Do you want to sleep now?" She asked.

"Yes, let me just take a sweater and we can sleep." I said, pulling back from the hug and sitting on the bed.

"Are you cold? Wait, let me get it for you." She smiled, standing up and taking one of her soft sweaters in her suitcase. "Put your arms up." She said, putting herself the sweater on me. She quickly adjusted it, took my hair out of the hood and quickly peck my lips. "Here you are, princess!" She smiled widely at me.

"Yaaa..." I pouted.

"What is it?"

"You gave me just a peck." I cutely crossed my arms on my chest, pretending to be mad.

"Do you want more?" She chuckled. I strongly nodded. "Okay, everything you want." She said as she cupped my face with both of her hands and went for a sweet kiss. She slowly moved her lips on mine, waiting for me to answer her kiss. Even in this, she was so respectful, waiting for me and not pressuring me in things I didn't want to do. I kissed her back and little by little deepened the kiss, trying to take control.

"What are you doing?" She chuckled, still on my lips. "You want to take the lead?"

"Maybe." I smirked, gently biting her bottom lips. She slightly opened to let my tongue enter and welcomed it with hers. Our tongues were dancing in perfect sync, as if they were meant to meet each other. I could feel how sweet and passionate she was in this kiss, putting all of the love and concern she had for me. She, who usually took the lead let me drive her tongue where I wanted at the pace I preferred, showing me she was willing to give me control when I wanted. And this attention made me totally forgot the thoughts I had before of me being a prisoner of her power. Just with a kiss, she could understand me and made me feel safe, and that was one of the many reasons I loved her.

It had been so long since we had a moment like this, kissing each other without fearing that someone would surprise us. In fact, we never were in a private place just the two of us to be able to freely express our love. Outside, we could meet fans or journalists who would cry out in scandal or just people passing by who would be disgusted by two women kissing. It was the first time we had a moment for ourselves. And I knew the next time we would have this kind of moment would be in a long time. So, it was my only chance to show her how much I loved and trusted her.

While we were kissing, I put my hands on her waist, letting them slip under her shirt and gently caressed her bare skin with my thumbs. At that move, I heard her let out a quiet moan, but it was enough to make me smile, she liked what I was doing. We continued to kiss, my hands analyzing every little detail of her waist, before I let go of her lips to focus on her neck, placing a few kisses everywhere. But, at this, she pulled back and looked at me straight in the eyes with a serious expression.

"Hyeon, what are you doing?"

"I... I'm ready." I shily smiled at her.

"A-Are you sure? I don't want to pressure you, if you don't want to, you don't need to."

"But I want to do it, I trust you."

"Okay." She smiled widely, kissing me again. And without leaving my lips, she laid me down comfortably on the bed, gently putting herself on top of me. "Yoohyeon, if there is anything you don't like or you just want to stop, you don't hesitate to tell me, okay?"

I nodded, putting my arms around her neck and kissing her passionately. She really was the best thing that happened to me. No matter what we will go through, Minji, I will always be by your side.

**********

The next morning, I woke up late, feeling my body all sore as if I did a 3-hour work out session. Without opening my eyes, I extended my arm, trying to find the reason of this. But no matter how hard I searched, I could only feel the sheets under my finger. Where is she? I opened my eyes and saw nothing but the emptiness.

"Minji?" I asked, sitting with the blanket still on my chest.

But the only answer I received was the silence. So she really left me alone in this cold room?

"Minji?" I tried again, but a bit louder. But still no answer.

I took my phone and saw that it was already 11:35 a.m., so she probably left long ago. But she didn't even text me to tell me she was leaving. I opened the message app and went on the discussion I had with her.

"Hey love, I just woke up. Where are you?" I typed before sending. And after a few seconds, the little view symbol lighted up, meaning she saw my message, but she didn't answer. I couldn't deny that it hurt me a little but she was probably busy.

I laid back down and scrolled a bit through my phone, waiting for her. And after 15 minutes or so, the entrance door opened and Minji entered in the room.

"Oh, hi Minji!" I said happily, standing up in a hurry. But I quickly calmed down when I felt my body hurting like crazy. So I stood up careful, surrounding the cover around me and going to her. I got closer and leaned toward her to have a morning kiss but she stopped me, looking down. I was a bit surprise by her move, especially after the night we had, but at that moment I was more worried about her. She was looking at her feet and seemed defeated, what happened to her? "Minji, are you okay?" I asked, placing my hand on her cheek.

But she suddenly grabbed my wrist before I could touch her. She then slowly raised her head and looked at me deadly serious.

"Let's break up."

What? Break up? Why was she saying this, suddenly? It couldn't be true, right? Or... did I disappointed her? I wasn't good enough last night? Many questions were popping in my mind, making my heart beat faster, and I had the answer of none of them.

"W-What do you mean by 'break up'?"

"It's finished between us, Yoohyeon." She was so emotionless when she said that, not breaking the eye contact with me.

"Is it because... I wasn't good enough last night?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady but failing miserably.

"No." She answered coldly, not saying anything else.

"Then tell me what is it!" I raised my voice a little. It couldn't be true, she was probably joking with me, she had to be joking with me.

"I don't think you're ready to hear it. Just accept it, Yoohyeon." She said, going to her suitcase and packing her things. "I'm changing room with Siyeon, she will join you in a bit."

"Tell me now, for god's ing sake!" I yelled at her, feeling my tears escaping my eyes.

"I'm done with you, Yoohyeon!" She said, standing up and facing me.

"Wh-"

"I played enough with you. Now, I did what I wanted to do, so I'm done. I used you enough to have fun but it doesn't go any further. So let's break up." She repeated.

She... used me to satisfy her wills? I couldn't believe it, how many times did she tell me that she loved me more than anything? Was it just acting?

At that moment, I felt my heart stop. My vision became all blurred and I felt the strength in my legs leaving me, heavily falling on my knees and collapsing on the floor. My tears were flowing like they never did and my ears were ringing. My heart was killing me, I just wanting to pull it out of my chest and it was started to get hard to breathe, as if someone was crushing my lungs and blocking my throat.

The next thing I felt was two arms sitting me on the floor and hugging me tightly, caressing my hair. But I couldn't calm down and I felt like dying, until another pair of arms arrived and took over the other. It was Siyeon, she was rocking me gently and whispering reassuring words in my ear. I couldn't really understand what she was saying but still, it was enough to calm me down. I just did a panic attack.

**********

After that, I couldn't look at Minji in the eyes without feeling my heart burning. I loved her more than anything and she was just playing with me and lying to me just to manage to have with me. I felt so dirty and so weak. Even the support of our insomnias couldn't bring me any joy anymore.

But time has passed and I forgave Jiu. Well, not forgave but let say I put our old relationship in the back of my head. And of course, I couldn't call her Minji anymore, it was reminding me all the happy moments I once had with her, thinking she truly loved me. However, Jiu was my leader and our couple 'Jiyoo' was one of the most popular, we couldn't just ignore each other. So, I acted as if nothing happened between us and she did the same.

But this break-up affected me more than anything. After my panic attack, Siyeon took me a few times to a doctor to check my health. If it wasn't for the members, I might have fallen into depression and done something irreversible. But from the start to the end, they were with me, helping me to move on. I also had a lot of trust issues, thinking that I wasn't worthy of being loved and that it was why Jiu did that. But Sua was always here to scold me and give me many reasons of why I was so incredible and deserved to be loved.

After a few months, I was finally able to act 'normal' around her. I never stayed in a room alone with her but I could do some fanservice in front of cameras for fans. At first, I was a bit uncomfortable hugging her and holding her hand but after some time, it became almost natural.

But despite everything I did to move on, my heart was still beating only for her.

 

 

**********

Finally, the third and last part of Yoohyeon's past! It was sooo long to write, luckily it's finally finished!!

So, what did you think about it? Why did Minji acted this way in your opinion? Do you think that she deserves to have Yoohyeon back after all of this?

Question of the week: in fact, I don't have any idea so, please give me some ideas for the upcoming chapters (or you can ask me questions if you want!)

Anyway, please know than English isn't my first language so I'm sorry if there are some mistakes... Please, let me know if you see some.

Thank you for reading!