Yoohyeon's POV:

September 2015:

It had been a year since we debuted with our first single "Why did you come to my house?" and I couldn't be happier. I was living my dream! Performing on stage with fans cheering for us made me felt like nothing else had ever before. No, in fact, something already made me feel that way, or someone.

Minji was the light of my life, the one who made my heart beat, she was the source of my happiness. Her smile was brightening my days and her hugs were warming up my nights. It had been almost one year and half since we officialized our relationship and I was probably the luckiest girlfriend ever to be with her. She even told me to call her by her real name when we were the two of us. Her name was so beautiful, I could never get tired of saying it. She even started to call me 'Hyeon' and it was making my heart go crazy! However, we decided to keep this relationship secret from the members and the agency, we were scared of the consequences if they discovered it. But it was hard to keep this secret and have some romantic moments, especially since we didn't share the same room anymore. When we moved in a new apartment, we chose randomly our roommates and I got Sua. I had less time with Minji and had less occasion to sleep with her but I was able to get close to Sua and I didn't regret it.

Everything was perfect until our first comeback with our song "Love shake". This comeback wasn't as popular as the agency wanted it to be and our group wasn't original enough to stand out from the other groups. We had to work a lot harder than expected and our CEO had trouble finding events for us, we weren't famous enough to interest shows. And as time passed, the tension rose in the group and we were all on edge.

But, as I wasn't a 'main' or the leader, I had less pressure on my shoulders and tried to help my members as much as I could. I cuddled often Sua in bed to give her some comfort, I took Siyeon to the cinema sometimes to ease her mind and help Yubin to do her homework to relieve her of an additional burden. And to help Minji, I tried to take her out, I thought she would like spending some time with me. I was her girlfriend after all. But it was getting harder and harder, she never stopped to push me away. Even having 5 minutes just the both of us at the agency seemed impossible. But when I managed to take her out for an hour or so, she looked so bored, as if I was just disturbing her. I felt like I was no longer important to her, like I was in the background of her life. And it hurt more than anything. Every time we kissed or hugged, I couldn't find the love she had for me before, it felt empty, I felt empty. Everything was falling apart, the group was failing, the members were dying under the pressure and my girlfriend didn't seem like my girlfriend anymore. And here I was, in the middle of all of that, not knowing what to do.

"Minji?" I interrupted her in her training.

But she didn't even bother to look at me and continued to dance. I sighed and went to the music post to stop the song playing.

"Yoohyeon, what are you doing?" She scolded me, now looking at me with frowning eyebrows.

A stab in the heart. That was what I felt right now. She didn't care about me and just wanted to continue her training. I missed so much the time she was running to me to hug me every time I came during her trainings. I even missed her calling me 'Hyeon'. I was nothing to her anymore. But still, she was working hard for the group and I couldn't break up with her, she didn't deserve it.

"I... I'm sorry. You didn't stop training since this morning and I was wondering if you wanted to take an ice cream with me outside... to have a little break, you know."

"No, I don't have time for this, I have to train." She answered coldly.

My heart clenched and my throat tightened at her tone. I felt my tears rising but I had to swallow my pain, I didn't want her to worry more and be another weight for her.

"B-But unnie, you..."

"Unnie? Why are you speaking formally to me? The others are not here."

"I... Yeah, you're right... but, what if I bring you the ice cream here, will you eat it with me?"

"No, Yoohyeon, some other time maybe. Now you should go train a bit your vocal."

'Some other time', that's what she was always saying. Well, I was still waiting. Was it too much to ask, an ice cream? She who was offering me some all the time, was now refusing just a single ice cream, a single moment with her girlfriend?

"Can I have a kiss at least?" I asked weakly. I just wanted a confirmation that I still meant something to her.

"Of course." She smiled as she came to me and pecked my lips before stepping back right after. "Now, go train. We will see each other tonight."

This smile didn't mean anything to me anymore. It felt empty, just like this kiss. We were dating and working together every day but we barely saw each other and it made me sick. I admired and loved her so much, I did everything she wanting me to and I tried to help her when she was feeling down but she was always pushing me away, as if I was nothing, as if I didn't have any feelings and couldn't feel hurt at her action. She who used to be able to understand me without words couldn't even see my pain now.

I faked a smile and walked out of the training room, heading to the studio upstairs. But I couldn't hold it anymore. My tears were flowing and I was loudly sobbing, releasing all the pain I built up inside. I ran upstairs, stumbling down some steps because of the tears that blurred my vision and quickly went to the studio. But, turning a corner, I violently bumped into Siyeon, falling on my . I quickly hid my face, stood up and went to lock myself in the vocal room. I couldn't even excuse myself, I knew my sobbing voice would betray me.

I walked in the recording room and sat on the floor against the wall, completely breaking down. I knew I could let myself go here, the room was soundproofed, nobody could hear me. Everything that happened just now came back to my mind and I couldn't help but replay it over and over again in my head. How did we get there? She who used to tell me every day how much she loved me, who couldn't stop to kiss me passionately every time she saw me was now so cold and distant. I needed her so badly, I needed the old Minji to come back to my side, to comfort me, to tell me everything was going to be fine, to smile at me like she used to do.

But suddenly a knock on the door took me out of my thoughts. I tried to silence my sob to hear who it was but I couldn't hear anyone. Until the handle of the door started moving up and down, as if this someone was trying to open the door I locked.

"Yoohyeon, open the door please." It was Siyeon.

"Why?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. I didn't want her to enter and see me crying. I just wanted to be alone... or have Minji come and comfort me.

"I forgot some fills in the locked drawer. But I'm the only one to have the key, you have to open the door. I won't disturb you, I promise."

Turned out I didn't have a choice. I felt like the world was against me, I couldn't even be alone for 10 minutes. I sighed and stood up, walking to the door. I unlocked it and turned my back to it right after, going back to the recording room, careful to hide my face from where she could be. She opened the door and entered, closing it right behind her. I didn't even have time to wonder what she was doing when she grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards her, hugging me tightly.

"It's okay Yoohyeon. You can let yourself go, I won't judge you." She reassured me, caressing gently my back and kissing my temple.

Without any hesitation, I hugged her back and hid my face in the crook of her neck, letting my tears roll down my cheeks and sobbing loudly. I needed this hug so much. Siyeon wasn't the person I wanted it from but at the moment, I didn't care. It was the most comforting hug I've ever had.

"Yoohyeon, what's happening to you? You know you can tell me. I would do anything to help." She said in a reassuring voice, kissing gently the top of my head a few times and sitting us on the chairs of the room. She cupped my face and wiped my tears away with her thumbs, lightly smiling to me. "Tell me."

I sniffed a few times before taking a deep breath. I couldn't keep it to myself and I knew it. Our relationship being secret was eating me up from the inside, I forbid me to talk about it to anyone but I couldn't keep this pain inside forever, it was killing me. And I knew I could trust Siyeon, she always had been here for me when I needed her.

"I... Minji and I... we are dating." I admitted looking down. I could feel her heavy stare on me and the silence wasn't helping at all.

"But it's not what's hurting you, right? What it is?" I knew she wanted to scold me but she was seeing that, at the moment, it would only make things worse. And I couldn't be more grateful that she didn't.

"I feel like she doesn't have any feelings for me anymore. She used to hug me tightly every time she saw me and now she's not even looking at me. She was always smiling to me and now, she's just so cold. I feel like she got tired of me." I admitted, letting a few tears roll down my cheeks.

"Do you really think someone could get tired of you? And if it was really the case, she would have break up with you long ago. She is not so hypocritical as to keep a relationship she doesn't like."

I lightly nodded my head, trying to convince myself at the same time. But if she still liked me, why was she acting like that with me?

"Look, Yoohyeon. I don't want to give you a moral lesson but dating while being an idol was the worst decision you could take. Even more if it's your leader. Look where you are now, this relationship is killing you and the person you call your girlfriend can't take care of you. You have to put an end to this mess."

How could I? Minji was the love of my life, I loved her more than anything. She did so much for me, she was always here when I needed her, she was the best thing that happened to me. I couldn't imagine living with her while being just a member of her group, it would be too hard. There was no way I was breaking up with her, she was too precious to me.

"I can't..." I whispered weakly. I wasn't even sure Siyeon heard me.

"What did you say?" She asked, coming closer.

"I can't." I repeated a little louder. "I can't break up with her."

"Yoohyeon, I know it's hard but-"

"You said it yourself, she still loves me, there is no reason to break up. I'm sure that when the situation of the group will get better, she will come back to me." I said, trying to convince Siyeon. But even I wasn't sure about it.

"I don't know Yoohyeon. Anyway, do what you want but don't forget that I'm here for you. It's not because I don't share your point of view that I'm letting you down, okay?"

"Yes, I know. Thank you Siyeon." I lightly smiled at her. I was so lucky to have her by my side, she never hesitated to put her loved one before anything and I knew I could trust her.

She cupped my face and placed a kiss on my forehead before standing up and leaving the room. I closed my eyes a few seconds and took a deep breath before opening them again and putting my music on, starting my vocal training.

**********

After that, we continued to work hard, even harder. But the more the time advanced and the more the threat of the disband was strong, and we couldn't do anything about that. No matter how much we practiced, nothing changed. And the inevitable happened, the agency decided to disband the group. Each member was devastated, after 2 years of career, we had to return to the stage of trainee.

But what affected me the most was the departure of Minji. She left overnight without even saying goodbye and it broke my heart into pieces. My group was a fail, my members were inconsolable and my girlfriend just abandoned me without looking back. My life was a disaster and I didn't have the energy to do anything, I felt so empty.

But I had to stay strong, at least for my members, no, my family. We went through so many things together, they deserved to be called my family. Even now, we were still together, not leaving each other. Well, at least four of us. Minji wasn't answering any of our calls or messages and I was worried about her condition. She was the one who worked the hardest to avoid the disband, it must have been even worst for her. I wanted to check on her, to hug and tell her that everything was going to be okay, like she used to do with me, but I couldn't. And it was so hard to move on from this failure without her.

**********

After two months of training, the CEO came to see the four of us to announce the future debut of a new group where we would all be, with our old positions. We would have a new and original concept and two new members. The girls couldn't be happier, jumping everywhere with a big smile, the same smile they had when we debuted 2 years ago.

But the only thing I could think of was Minji. Would she come back if we told her that we would debut again? During a whole month of training, she reminded me every day that she wouldn't debut without Siyeon and I. What if I did the same? What if I called her to tell her I wouldn't accept without her? Would she come back?

When we came out of meeting, I took my phone out of my pocket and ran outside, to be alone. I searched through my contacts and called the same number I was calling every day. And I have never hoped so much for her to answer. I always wanted her to respond but this time, it was different. This time it was more important than ever. The phone rang once, twice, three times, then suddenly a silence. I held my breath for a second and could even hear my heart beating like crazy. Was she about to answer?

"Hey, it's Kim Minji. Thank you for calling but I'm not available right now. Leave a message and I will call you back later! Bye!" It was the only words I heard from her voice for two whole months. 'I will call you back later' she said. Lie. She never called me back and she was probably never going to. Even when she wasn't there, she was able to make my heart tighten.

I waited for the beep to ring and started to record my message.

"Hey Minji, it's Yoohyeon... your girlfriend." I chuckled awkwardly, feeling like a stab in the heart at my own words. "I just wanted to let you know that the girls and I will debut again with a new group concept and new members. And... hum... we all miss you a lot, we want you as our leader again. We need you Minji... I need you, so badly. Anyway, I hope you are doing fine and you are happy where you are. Your happiness is the most important thing and I would understand if you didn't want to come back." I wanted to tell her that I wouldn't debut without her, that I would leave Seoul and that we wouldn't see each other ever again. But I didn't want to pressure her by threatening her and I really meant it when I said her happiness came first. "Take care of you Minji. I love you."

I hung up and closed my eyes a few seconds, enjoying the fresh breeze of Seoul. It was the only thing that could calm me after a stressing day now that the love of life, the one who had the power to make me forget everything with just a kiss, left. I didn't know what to do, I felt so lost. How could we debut without our leader? With a new? I would never be able to consider anyone as my leader, except her. She led us perfectly during our Minx period and, even if the group didn't succeed, we needed her back.

**********

A few days later, we met our new members, Handong and Gahyeon. Handong was a Chinese trainee and was a little bit older than me. She was really shy, always hidden under her cap, and never dared to go to see the other by herself especially since she wasn't fluent in Korean. She felt so lost, just like me when I arrived. But, unlike me, she didn't have the chance to have a Minji by her side. She was alone, in a country she didn't know and with a language she had trouble with. It must have been hard for her. So I quickly introduced myself to her in Chinese, to make her feel at home and little by little, she opened to me. We became fast friends and I was glad to have her in our new group.

The second member was our new maknae, Gahyeon. She was so cute, so bright! Sua and Siyeon already adopted her in just a few seconds. Her innocent smile and big eyes were the ones of a baby and it just made us want to pat her head and pinch her cheeks. She was just so cute!

Finally, the first group training started and Siyeon, Sua, Dami and I were so excited. It had been so long since we trained the four of us! First, Gahyeon and Handong showed us what they could do. And they were really talented for the really short time of training they had. They just arrived a few months ago after all!

But even though we were all really good, the training was a real mess. We weren't at all together and the tension started to rise between us. We couldn't understand each other, even I felt so lost. It was only our first training and it was already a real chaos. That was when I realized how important was a leader in a group, how important she was in our group. She was the one who maintained the order and the organization of the trainings and who calmed the tensions between the members. It was really during those moments that we missed her the most, I could see it in the members' eyes. But unfortunately, she wasn't here and the training was a complete mess.

The CEO quickly noticed that we couldn't do anything without a leader and started searching for one among the trainees. But we managed to negotiate with him and he gave two weeks for Minji to come back to her position. Pass the deadline, he would choose a new one.

But we couldn't let that happen. Every day, we were sending messages and calling her, even Handong and Gahyeon tried. One week passed and still no Minji and no answer. We were getting more and more worry at the thought of having a new leader, we couldn't work without her, she was the only one able to lead us.

6 days left, no answer. 5 days left, not even a message. 4 days left, not even a proof of being alive. She had now only 3 days to come back, after that, it would be too late. So, I sent her our new address and the entrance code to let her know that she was still welcome in our family. 2 days left, my hope was starting to disappear. 1 day left, there was no longer any chance.

Finally, her last day arrived and I waited for her. I waited for her the whole day at the agency, until the last minute, the last second. The members already went back home but I believed in her, she wasn't going to abandon us. I even bought flowers to offer her at her return, to show her how much I still loved her.

I was now standing in front of the agency with a bouquet of flowers in my hands, my eyes going back and forth from left to right looking for a familiar figure to appear. And I waited with the night as my unique companion. 23h30, still nobody, it was started to get cold outside. 23h45, I couldn't even feel my hands holding the bouquet anymore. 23h55, now, even my lips were trembling from the cold. Or was it really the cold?

Finally, midnight came and the person I needed the most wasn't there. That was official, she abandoned us, abandoned me. What was I even waiting for? I was stupid to think that she would come back. If she wanted to, she would have done it long ago. But she didn't, and it broke me. During my hard time, she always told me to fight and never give up. But here she was, running away after a single failure. She was maybe punishing herself, but she was punishing us at the same time.

"She didn't come, did she?" Asked me the CEO, coming out of the agency and putting a coat on my shoulders.

"No... she didn't." I confirmed, looking down. Admitting it out loud was really hard and made my heart tightened. She really let us down, just like that.

"I'm sorry Yoohyeon, I truly am. I know what she represented for all of you. But you know we have no choice, you can't stay without a leader forever."

"Yes, I know. Thank you for those two weeks, it really meant a lot for us."

"It's normal, I also wanted to give her a chance. I could see how good she was as a leader. It will be hard to find someone as good as her. I will start the auditions tomorrow and I'll give you my answer in the week."

"Okay, thank you." I wanted to cry, to scream, to break things, to... no, I didn't know what I wanted to do, nothing could have help me. We were officially going to have a new leader and it made me feel sick. But I understood, we had no other choice.

"Now, go home, you must be exhausted. See you tomorrow, Yoohyeon." He said with an apologetic smile.

"Thank you, Sir. See you tomorrow." I repeated, giving him a little smile.

I started walking lazily to the dorm, not really excited to announce the news to the members. 'Minji abandoned us, that's official!', no, I couldn't say that. How was I supposed to tell them? I threw the bouquet violently into the trash and headed back home, holding back my tears. I couldn't cry for her, she didn't deserve it. She let us down, she didn't deserve that I suffered for her. She wasn't worth my pain.

I arrived in front of the dorm and started to go up. But as I climbed the stairs, I slowed down, anxious to face my members. How could I tell them? They would be devastated, that was for sure. And I had to stay strong for them, to help them to go through this, but I was on the verge of crying, I felt betrayed and empty. She who reminded everyday how much she loved me was now far away from me and probably already erased me from her head and heart. But these memories were always engraved in me and made me suffer terribly.

'I know you will never love me as much as you love them but let me try to give you the same amount of love.', 'I would do anything to make you stay by my side.', 'I love you, Kim Yoohyeon. I ing love you! Do you hear me?'

Thinking of those moments hurt so much. I felt my throat tighten and my heart clench. How could she be so sweet in the past and then suddenly abandon us? Didn't she have a heart?

And without even noticing it, I was in front of my door. I took a deep breath and pulled the keys out of my bag, trying to aim the lock as best I could, despite my watery eyes. I closed my eyes a few seconds, trying to stabilize my emotions and opened them again, turning the key in the lock and opened the door.

I slowly entered in the apartment and gently closed the door behind me, taking off my shoes and headed to the living room, looking at my feet. I didn't dare to look at the members, not when I was about to announce them a news that would destroy them for sure.

"Girls... I have something to tell you-" I started when I was cut by a familiar voice.

"Hyeon?"

What? This name, there was only one person who called me this way. This name was haunted me, it only brought back painful memories I wanted to forget. It made me remember her, the girl who made me fall deeply in love with her and then abandoned me.

I raised my head to look at the group and among the members, I saw her, staring at me with a smile on her face, this same warm and sweet smile I fell for 2 years ago. She was so surreal, even more pretty than before and her eyes still so hypnotizing. My heart stopped and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Was she really here? Or was it a hallucination? I was becoming crazy, wasn't I?

"Hyeon, it's me. I finally came back to you." She confirmed her presence with a smile.

That was too much for me. After holding back my tears for so long, I broke down and let everything out. How could she do that? She disappeared for two whole months without answering any calls or messages and would allow herself to come back and talk to me as if nothing had happened. Did she really think I was going to act the same? Forgive her without asking any question? She abandoned us when we needed her the most, she ran away while we all stayed to support each other.

Suddenly, she took a few steps toward me with her arms wide open.

"Get back!" I yelled at her. "I don't want you here, you don't deserve to come back. Get out! Get out now!"

I hated her so much, she made me go crazy and hurt me like no one ever had before. I couldn't let her get to me again, I couldn't trust her anymore.

But she wasn't listening to me and just got closer and closer until she was only a few centimeters away from me. With each step she took towards me, I took a step back until my back was against the wall. I was blocked and I couldn't go anywhere.

"Get back I said!" I yelled again, my tears flowing down my cheeks.

But she continued to get closer to me. I tried to push her away with all my strength but, like this famous night, she was way stronger than me and I couldn't do anything. She gently put her arms around me and hugged me tightly, tighter than she ever did.

"I missed you so much Yoohyeon."

This contact and those words made my heart fastened in just a second and I suddenly became so hot, my tighten throat almost preventing me from breathing. How come my body was still reacting this much to her, even after all this time?

"I hate you." I said sobbing loudly.

"And you have all the reasons to." She agreed, still hugging me tightly.

But despite that, I couldn't help but hug her back. I missed her so much too, she was occupying my mind every minute of every day since she left us. I missed her beauty, I missed her voice, I missed her warmth, I missed everything about her. She was the love of my life and I couldn't stay far from her.

I hugged her tightly with all my strength and hid my face in the crook of her neck, letting all of my pain out. Whether I smothered her or not, there was no way I was going to let her go, even for a second.

"You abandoned us... you abandoned me." I whispered, sobbing.

"I know, I'm sorry. But I wasn't in the right state of mind, I had to leave, take time to refocus on myself." She explained, rubbing gently my back with her hands. "I won't ever leave you, do you hear me? You are the most important person in my life and for nothing in the world I would lose you. I love you, Kim Yoohyeon, don't you dare forget that, ever." She said pulling back from the hug and cupping my face, wiping my tears away with her thumbs like she used to do.

I lightly nodded, trying to stabilize my breathing when she gently put her lips on mine. I could hear the surprise from the other members but right now, I didn't care. Minji was back and I could feel the love she still had for me through this kiss. It felt like it was our first kiss, hesitant but full of love.

We pulled back from the kiss and I gently put my forehead against hers, so relieved she was finally here with us. She looked happier than before and I could see the passion in her eyes, the same passion she used to have when we were trainees.

"I missed you so much, Minji."

"Me too. And thank you for calling me every day and leaving messages. I listened to them every day, I think I know them all by heart." She chuckled. "You're the best, Hyeon, thank you for not giving up on me."

"I would never." I smiled, pecking her lips a few times.

Minji was finally back and ready to take back her leader position. The next day, she came to the agency with us and met the CEO for a bit before joining us for the training. And, thanks to her, it all went perfectly. It was finally time for our rebirth, it was finally time for Dreamcatcher.

**********

One year later, the group was a success. We weren't as popular as Twice or Blackpink but we had a good community of fans, Insomnia. The new concept of the group was horror and I liked it way better. Our rock songs really had something unique and our three first title tracks 'Chase Me', 'Good night' and 'Fly High' attracted well the attention of the public.

Plus, after that night, Minji and I explained everything to the other members and they were all happy for us. Even Siyeon who was skeptical at first, was glad we were fine together. And she was right, we were more than fine. She made me remember why I fell for her so deeply, she was so sweet, caring, pretty, funny, patient. And like she used to do in the past, she could read me without a word. I found back the Minji I missed so much and she was now making my life so much better.

But, being in a relationship with my leader wasn't the easiest thing. During each promotion, I was entitled to periods of stress and rejection from the person I loved the most in this world. The agency was putting a lot of pressure on us and Minji didn't want to live the same thing we experienced with Minx. However, I still tried to take her out, to ease her mind and make her rest a little. Sua and Siyeon agreed with this and pushed her to go out with me, even if 'we didn't have time for that'. And now, she never rejected me as much as she did around the end of Minx, and that was all thanks to the members.

We all got closer to each other and I felt like I knew Handong and Gahyeon for years. I also grew closer to Sua, still being her roommate. She enjoyed teasing me all the time but I knew she loved me and would do anything for me. Yubin was acting like an unnie and was really protective, especially with Gahyeon and I. She became my confidence and my best friend, always having the best and wisest advices when I had some issues and never judging me on anything. And Siyeon was still my most comforting friend, always here to help me when I felt down. She was the sweetest and the softest but I knew she could kill anyone without hesitation if it was for me or one of the members.

So my life was perfect. I was doing the job of my dreams, I had the best girlfriend I could wish for and I had a new family I loved more than anything. Our agency even managed to put us in a survival show made by YG Entertainment, called 'Mixnine'. For this show, we trained really hard and I felt like I was a trainee again, being trained by the best mentor I knew, Minji. But this time, I wasn't her only student, she had 6 kids. And we all worked really hard to make her proud. Unfortunately, only four of us made it, Sua, Handong and Gahyeon weren't taken. And while Siyeon, Yubin, Minji and I were more than happy, we also felt really bad for them, especially Sua, who wanted to show to the world how good was the main dancer of Dreamcatcher. She worked days and nights, paying attention to every little detail to be sure to deliver a perfect performance. So this fail must have been really disappointing for her.

Minji, Siyeon, Yubin and I were now in the competition against really talented trainees and it wasn't easy to stand out. For the first step, I managed to finish in the top 9 but I quickly went down in the ranking while Minji was shining and ranked very high.

It was now time for our first big mission. We had to pick a song we would perform with other girls against a group of boys. I chose "It hurts" by 2NE1 and we were against the boy team who covered "It's okay" by BTOB. They were really good and had a lot of really talented vocalist like Jongho but I was confident, I knew we could win. Siyeon also chose a vocal performance and Yubin preferred a rap performance. Minji, as for her, went for a dance cover and chose "Boombayah" By Blackpink. All the ace were in her team, as if they reunited all the best performers of the survival to create this team. And the boy group against them were the same and had to cover "Very good" by Block B. We sure were going to have an incredible battle.

However, we had a really short period of time to train and we had to give our best, we couldn't let the boys win, especially when almost all of them thought that it was easy to win against girls. But I felt like this competition took me away from my members. I had little time to visit them and when I could, they were the ones who were busy. So, one evening, I decided to go to see Minji in her room after the training.

"Oh, hey!" Said Ryujin after she opened the door. "Hum... do you want something maybe?"

"Yes, I... I am one of Minji's members and I came to see her... if she's here?" Ryujin was younger than me but she impressed me a lot. She was JYP Entertainment's trainee and was the top 1 of the survival.

"Yes, she's here! Please come in!" She moved aside to let me enter. "Minji, one of your members is here!"

I walked to the center of the room and saw her sitting on her bed with an iPad on her lap, probably analyzing the videos they took today, as always. She raised her head and, as soon as she saw me, stood up and came to hug me tightly.

"I will leave you together. Is it okay if I come back in 20 minutes?" Asked Ryujin.

"Yes, it's perfect, thank you Ryujin." Minji smiled to her.

Ryujin bowed lightly to me and left the room, letting me alone with my girlfriend. I pulled back from the hug and was about to ask her how her training was doing but she crushed her lips on mine and kissed me deeply, putting her arms around my waist to keep me close. At first, I didn't understand why she was that eager but I didn't care. I put my arms around her neck and deepened the kiss even more, opening lightly my mouth to welcome her tongue with mine. But I didn't have the time to enjoy the kiss that she pulled back and pushed me on her bed, crawling over me to find back my lips and continue where we stopped.

My heart was beaten so fast and my hands were trembling like crazy. My body shivered every time her fingers ran on me, even more when she slipped one of her hands under my shirt. That was really unexpected, she never was this bold. She gently caressed my belly with her thumb and used her free hand to grab my thigh, letting her fingers go under my short. But this move made me panic, it was going too fast and I wasn't ready for that. My whole body was shaking and I couldn't concentrate on the kiss. I felt trapped under Minji's embrace and I was even running out of air, feeling the panic take over and the tears rise.

"Hey, hey, Yoohyeon, look at me, it's okay. Breathe slowly, everything is fine." She said calmly, removing her hands from where they were and caressing my cheek in a reassuring move. "Don't worry, we will take it slow, okay? I'm sorry for hurrying you, we didn't even talk about it, it's my fault. I'm sorry, Hyeon." She whispered, lying next to me and taking me in her arms, softly kissing the top of my head a few times.

"No, it's all my fault. We've been dating for so long and you still have to wait for me. I'm the worst girlfriend, I'm so sorry Minji..." I hugged her close, hiding my face in the crook of her neck.

"What a nonsense! Do you really think I stay with you for... ? It's okay if you're not ready, I completely understand. No matter if I have to wait 1 month, 1 year or 10 years, I will wait. Because the most important thing is you, only you! And not , what the hell!" She gently scolded me.

"I'm sorry for thinking that, I-"

"Stop excusing yourself all the time, Yoohyeon! You have nothing to be ashamed of."

I lightly nodded, not letting go of her. I got scared because I thought that the old Minji, the cold Minji who couldn't read me took over. And this thought was haunting me. Every day, I was scared to wake up with this Minji. But she wasn't like this anymore. Just right now, she was managing to calm me down just with a warm hug and that was why I fell for her. She could understand me just so well.

We stayed silent for a bit, her hand caressing my back in a reassuring way. And little by little, my breathing was becoming steady again and I had regained control of my emotions.

"So tell me, how is your training going?" She asked me, probably to make me think of something else. And I was grateful for that.

"It's going pretty well, we are working really hard and we are able to do great things like harmonies and all. And today, we had our mid-term evaluation and our teacher said that it was a really good job!" I smiled, proud of what we achieved.

"Congratulation, Hyeon. You're amazing, of course they would love what you do!" She said, looking at me with eyes filled with love. Her eyes, I loved them so much, I could look at them all day long.

"And you?" I asked back.

"Our mid-term evaluation is tomorrow but I'm confident. We worked really hard with the girls and did our best in the preparation. So I don't see what the teacher could blame us for."

"I'm sure she will say it's perfect, like everything you work for." I smiled at her. "I didn't see what you did yet but I already imagine you destroying those arrogant boys." I said as we heard a knock on the door.

"Unnie, it's Ryujin! Can I enter?" She asked from the other side of the door.

"Sure, come in Ryujin!" Answered Minji, pecking my lips one last time before standing up. I stood up too as the JYP's trainee entered in the room.

"I will get going now." I announced, passing by Ryujin. "Good night and good luck for tomorrow!"

"Thank you, Hyeon. Good night to you too." Minji said with a warm smile.

"Thanks unnie, see you around!" Added Ryujin as I left their room and headed back to mine.

**********

But I was wrong, their evaluation didn't go well at all. Their teachers questioned all their work by saying it was boring and messy. And this review destroyed their team. They worked days and nights, trying to be as perfect as possible to finally see their work be called 'boring' and 'messy'.

They now had to start from the beginning with half of the original time and a horrible review that echoed over and over in their heads. But this new high training rate wasn't beneficial to them, they never took any break and gave themselves only 10 minutes to eat and 5 hours to sleep. They were all suffocated by stress and fatigue, especially Minji who was their leader. She never took the time to eat at lunch and gave herself only 3 hours of sleep. Luckily, Ryujin came to warn me about her condition, worried about her.

"Unnie?" I called her as I entered in their training room. They just finished to perform 'Boombayah' again and I had now all their eyes on me.

"Yoohyeon? What are you doing here?" She asked, looking at me too. 'Yoohyeon', she just called me by my complete name, it meant that it wasn't going to be easy. She usually liked to call me 'Hyeon' in front of others, proud to show our proximity. But now, she was acting distant, probably to let me know that she 'didn't have time' to talk to me.

"I need some advice for my vocal performance. Could you come with me for 5 minutes to help me, please?" I lied. I knew her, at those moments, only the work and the training mattered. She would have never accepted if I asked her to take a break to talk to me.

"Sure." She agreed. "Girls, you can take a break, I'm coming back in 5 minutes." She announced before coming to me.

We left the room as I saw Ryujin articulate a 'good luck' and gave me a thumb up. I took Minji's hand and guided her to my training room where there was no one since all the girls left for their lunch break. I let her come inside before I closed the door and leaned on it, to make sure she couldn't leave.

"Okay, now put the music on and sing, I have to go back quickly to my training." She said without a hint of emotion on her face or in her voice.

"I'm sorry, Minji, but I didn't really need any help in fact..." I admitted, scared of her reaction.

"What? Then why did you make me come here? You're wasting my time!" Ouch. I was used to this kind of comments when she was stressed but it still hurt a lot. But I knew she didn't really mean them in the end.

"Ryujin told me you always skipped lunch and didn't take good care of yourself." I explained.

"I'm okay, don't worry. And it's only for a week-"

"Yes, for a whole week! You can't continue like this, Kim Minji, you're destroying yourself! What do you think Sua unnie would say if she knew?" I scolded her. Even if I was younger than her, I was still her girlfriend and that was my job to take care of her health.

"Don't you dare scold me, I'm still your leader for all I know." She argued back. She was now using her leader card and put aside the girlfriend one. "And I know how to take care of myself, I don't need you."

I heard it clearly, my heart break in thousand pieces. I needed her all the time, when I was feeling down, when I was excited, when I was tired. But she didn't need me, that was what she said. What was left of my heart clenched and I felt my head spinning. My throat tightened and I had some difficulties to contain my tears. But I had to, I was here to help her even if she said otherwise. Even Ryujin, a girl she met two weeks ago saw how much she wasn't okay.

"I-" I started but I was cut by the door opening behind me. I moved away and saw Siyeon enter in the room, giving a black look at Minji. If a look could kill, she would have died long ago. But, like all the times she was with me when I wasn't feeling well, I felt more relaxed and secure and my heartbeat slowed down a little bit.

"Do you really think you can treat your members like that?" She scolded her with her scary low voice, not breaking the eye contact. "You're treating her like while she's trying to help you!" She raised her voice a little, coming to me and putting her arms around my waist to show me I wasn't alone this time. And I was grateful for that.

"No, I-" Minji tried to defend herself when Siyeon cut her again.

"You just told her you didn't need her! Do you imagine what she's feeling right now? She's your ing girlfriend, unnie! You just told your girlfriend you didn't need her!"

What I was feeling right now? I was feeling horrible. My heart was hurting terribly and my head was spinning so much I was dizzy. Being in Siyeon's embrace made me want to break down and let her recomfort me like she always used to but, at the same time, I didn't want to show my pain to Minji, I didn't want her to see how weak she could make me. As difficult as it was, I tried to hold back the tears that were coming but it was getting too hard, even Siyeon's calming hands on my waist weren't helping anymore. I couldn't forget what Minji just told me and I felt like I was stabbed in the heart every time I played it in my head.

'I don't need you.'

'I don't need you.'

'I don't need you.'

In the end, I lost my fight again and felt a tear rolling down my cheek. I detached myself from Siyeon and ran outside, not saying anything. I ran along the long corridors, I ran between the training rooms, I ran among the contestants, I ran far from Minji. Maybe running away from my problems would help me? After all, it helped her well when she abandoned us, abandoned me. But suddenly, boom, I fell violently on my . I raised my head to try to find what caused my fall and, when I saw him, I immediately understood. Jo Yonggeun, the leader of HNB was trying to regain his balance with a hand against the wall. , why did I always have to bump into people while I was feeling like ?

I quickly stood up and bowed deeply, trying to hide my tears.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push you, it's all my fault." I excused myself, trying to keep my voice steady.

"It's okay, Yoohyeon-ssi, no need to be so formal, we are from the same agency." He answered with a sweet smile. "Are you okay, by the way? You fell pretty hard... but, a-are you crying?!" He panicked, seeing my tears. "O-Oh my god, did I hurt you? I'm so sorry, Yoohyeon-ssi! Wait, let me take you to the nurse!"

He ran to me and put one arm around my shoulders and one under my knees lifting me as if I weighed nothing. I let out a little scream of surprise and automatically put my arms around his neck, scared to fall.

"N-No, don't worry, I can walk." I said, patting his shoulders a few times, to ask him to put me down.

"Then... why are you crying?" He asked, gently putting me back to the floor but still supporting me with one hand, probably seeing I was feeling dizzy.

"I... It's complicated." I said looking down.

"Do you want to talk about it in a more private place? You don't have to tell me everything but it's always good to share out loud our worries." He suggested with a reassuring smile.

"Sure, thank you." I answered with a smile, not even hesitating. He was right, I needed to talk about it to someone, even if I couldn't tell the whole story. Plus, I would be good to have the opinion of someone other than the members, maybe it could help.

I followed him through the long corridors until he stopped in front of a storage room. At first, I didn't understand why he took me here but I quickly realized in what I had gotten myself into. Oh god, I fell on a .

"I-I'm sorry, but in the end, I-I'm not interested in your offer. I d-didn't know you were talking about this kind of talk." I shuttered, trying to take me out of this situation.

"What are you talking about?" He asked sounding confused.

"Y-You wanted to go here t-to do... hum... you know?" I tried to explain, pointing at the room in front of us.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, it's my fault!" He bowed quickly before pointing at some benches next to the room. "I was thinking about sitting here, not in this room! I'm so sorry you thought about it, I should have stop in front of the benches!"

"Ah okay, I must admit I got scared for a few seconds." I chuckled awkwardly.

"Yeah, you must have, sorry again about it." He excused himself again, scratching his nape.

We went to sit on the benches, facing each other and stayed silent for a bit. This silence was started to be awkward and I didn't dare to start talking, I was just looking down, swinging my legs from front to back under the bench. With Minji, the silent was never uncomfortable, it was a nice and comforting silent. But now, it was just awkward. I already missed her so much and felt guilty for what happened earlier.

"So, tell me Yoohyeon, what's on your mine?" He broke the ice.

"I..." I didn't know where to start or what to tell him, I was scared to say too much. "Jiu, my leader, she's... she's suffering a lot from the pressure on her shoulders. And to hold on, she locks herself in work and pushes her members away, including me. I feel like... she always wants to show only her perfect side, even to us, her family. Like... she's putting this barrier between us, and when I try to help her, she just... she violently pushes me away."

"Yes, I see what you mean. Well, I can understand her in a way. We are both leader and from the same agency. We are being taught to always be perfect and to be an example for our members. Because, if we aren't doing a good job, then the rest of the group won't either. So I can totally understand what she's feeling. And her being in the top 9 already is probably not helping. You see?"

"Yeah, you're right. I never thought of it that way before, but it makes sense, indeed." I agreed. He was right after all. She had to give the example, so I could understand that she didn't want to break down in front of us and share her worries with us. But still, I was her girlfriend, she could let go with me. But she never did...

"But you told me she was rejected you... violently?" He asked.

"Hum... yes, indeed." I answered, looking at my hands on my lap.

"Tell me about it." He said, grabbing my hands with his. I raised my head, a bit taken aback by his action and saw him smile warmly at me.

"When we were still Minx, she always refused to spend time with me because 'she didn't have time' for me. And when I had the occasion to be with her, she was so cold with me and looked... bored? Even today, I tried to help her and she yelled at me saying she didn't need me." I explained, feeling my tears rise just by thinking of this.

I sniffled a few times, trying to contain my tears when I felt Yonggeun's hands squeeze mine to get my attention. I looked at him and saw him smiling warmly at me.

"You can let go, Yoohyeon, I'm not here to judge you." I nodded, letting a few tears roll down my cheeks. It was so hard to hold back every time she hurt me. I could only feel really strong feelings for her: intense joy, profound anger, deep sorrow. I felt like I was on a roller coaster and I started to get tired of this. "I can understand why she wants to be strong in front of you. But, you're right, rejecting you like this is not right. But who am I to judge her? I'm just sorry for you and your members, I-"

"Yes, who are you to judge me?" I heard a familiar voice next to us.

I turned my head and saw her, Minji. She was looking at Yonggeun as if she wanted to jump on him. I turned back my attention to him and he was frozen, fixing Minji without saying anything. Was she that angry because we talk about her behind her back? No, there was something else. But I couldn't find what it was. That's when I felt it, hands tightening on mine. , I was holding hands with a boy in front of her. I quickly pulled back my hands and stood up, wanting to explain. But Yonggeun was faster than me and stood up in a hurry, bowing deeply.

"I'm sorry, Jiu-ssi, I didn't mean to criticize you or the way you lead your members." He said, not raising his head.

"Leave. Now." She ordered, not even looking at him but looking straight into my eyes. I gulped difficultly, scared of what was about to come.

"Y-Yes, goodbye Jiu-ssi, goodbye Yoohyeona." He bowed to her and waved at me. This nickname he just gave wasn't going to help my case. I followed him with my eyes, until he disappeared into the long corridors and then returned my attention to Minji.

"Minji, I-"

"So, I let you a few days alone because I have to work and what are you doing? Flirting with the boys of the agency?" She scolded me, looking really angry, but mostly hurt.

"No, I-"

"I just caught you holding hands with a guy and talking behind my back! What are you searching for, Kim Yoohyeon?" She just called me with my full name, it wasn't going to end well.

"Minji, let me explain, I-"

"There is nothing to explain. I work hard for Dreamcatcher, training days and nights, and what does my girlfriend do to help me? Wasting my time and go have fun with other people? I don't give you enough time, I'm sorry, but I can't be a good leader and a good girlfriend at the same time. It can't work well together."

"W-What do you mean?" I asked unsure, already having an idea of what she was talking about. But it couldn't be that, it just couldn't. My heart tightened and it became hard to breathe.

"Let's break up."

Nothing. That was what I was feeling at that moment, nothing. My heart was empty and my view became blurred. I even had trouble hearing what was around me. The only thing I noticed was her figure leaving far from me. I wanted to go after her, to explain to her that nothing happened with Yonggeun and that she was the most perfect girlfriend I could wish for but my legs didn't listen and became weaker and weaker, until I fell on my knees, not even trying to stand up. Suddenly, I felt a huge pain in my heart, as if someone was crashing it. I let out a cry of pain, feeling my cheeks get wet as my tears flowed down, when I saw a blurred figure coming close to me, kneeling next to me and hugging me close. It wasn't Minji, but she had the most comforting hugs I knew, Siyeon. I let myself go in her arms, burying my face in the crook of her neck, not able to hold my pain anymore.

After a few minutes of crying my eyes out, I felt exhausted. I had no more tears to shed and I didn't even have enough energy to get up. Siyeon had to carry me on her back all the way to my room and asked a day off for me to the producer of the survival. She put me in bed and made sure I was comfortable before going back to training, leaving me alone with my broken heart.

I miss you, Kim Minji.

 

 

**********

Little spoil: The flashback isn't finished, there will be a last part!

So in the last chapter, we discovered the cute side of their relationship but looks like it's not going great for our two lovebirds in this new chapter. What do you think will happen in the next chapter?

Question of the chapter: for now, are you more team Minji or team Taehyung?

Anyway, please know than English isn't my first language so I'm sorry if there are some mistakes... Please, let me know if you see some.

Thank you for reading!

PS: if you like Dreamcatcher and vampires stories, I advice you to read the wattpad "Blood Bonds" written by DC_Nyle. It's a MASTERPIECE