trigger warning: mentions of suicide

"Your mother sent me your favorite cake."

Junmyeon stares at the said cake before at Chanyeol after settling his bag to the floor. Chanyeol has a grin on his face, "You can eat with me. Yours is blood-flavored. She mentioned you can eat anything as long it's blood-related since you're half?"

A burst of soft laughter slips out of Junmyeon's mouth.

He covers his mouth with the back of his hand in an instant, his shoulders shaking. So Chanyeol got help from his mother. Junmyeon got jealous for nothing. Chanyeol who is confused by the reaction lowers the paper bags, "It's okay if you're not eating-" 

"I will," Junmyeon smiles fondly, too fondly until Chanyeol breaks their eye contact by placing the paper bags back into the fridge.

"I'll have a quick shower first. You can look around if you want. I'll be right back," Patting Junmyeon on the head, he disappears, trying to not let himself scream. Junmyeon is in his apartment. Chanyeol grins as he cannot contain his happiness.

Junmyeon indeed looks around but he stays glued in the same place. He has the ability to remember everything in a single glance.

Recalling the first time he spent the night here after he fainted at the bus stop, he wonders how Chanyeol carried him that night to his apartment here. Maybe he can ask about it later.

He is standing in front of the fridge now. Next to the fridge, there is a small stove and a sink. On his left, there is a room which is probably the bedroom with a bathroom inside since that is where Chanyeol went.

As he brings his sight to the small hall, the bookshelf near the window at the corner catches his attention. Junmyeon walks towards it. The premise is small but it feels comfy.

Junmyeon's hand comes up to brush his fingers across the spines of the thick books neatly arranged. It seems like a collection. His brows rise wide as soon as he reads the author's name.

The initials are connected so it is hard to read. He gets close to the books, wanting to confirm whether it is true.

"Are you a fan of KSW's books?"

Junmyeon turns his head while dropping his hand from caressing the books, "What do they write about?"

Chanyeol blabbers everything about how much he loved the books with affection and he does not stop, "It's a mystery adventure set in the 50s but every book is connected. The author has never been seen. I wonder what they look like though. If I had a chance to meet them, I'd thank them because they played a big role in my life even though it's just fiction which has nothing to do with my real life but they saved my life from killing myself-"

Jumyeon holding his hand stops Chanyeol from continuing. Chanyeol rubs his head, a sheepish chuckle escaping his mouth, "I talked too much, didn't I?"

Junmyeon does not say anything but gives him a gentle smile. Chanyeol awkwardly asks, "Let's eat?" Junmyeon nods and Chanyeol gets the table ready. Junmyeon glances at the books again.

He then straightaway heads to the taller, wrapping his arms around him from the back. Chanyeol is surprised but he turns worried. Holding the little hands, he tries to look at Junmyeon over his shoulder, "What's wrong?"

His back gets rubbed as Junmyeon shakes his head. Chanyeol wriggles out from the back hug, embracing the smaller from in front.

He pats the back of Junmyeon's head comfortingly, "What is it? Something bothering you?" Junmyeon snuggles further into Chanyeol's clothed chest, smiling, "It feels nice being with you." Chanyeol flushes bright pink.

Leaning his head, he presses his mouth against the crown of Junmyeon's head, having a bashful smile, "Me too." 

Honestly, Chanyeol is not that hungry because he still cannot register Junmyeon in his apartment. He is going to stay the night. Junmyeon is bathing now so Chanyeol takes this chance to calm himself down from screaming.

It feels weird to be this happy.

As they sit facing each other on the floor near the balcony with a small table between them, Chanyeol takes constant glimpses of Junmyeon eating the blood-flavored cake.

It feels surreal. Junmyeon is eating with him and it makes Chanyeol so freaking happy. Is this even normal? 

Junmyeon realizes the occasional stares from the latter. It has him feeling queasy. Is Chanyeol appalled that he is eating an unusual cake? "Is it," He settles the spoon on the plate, half of the cake finished, "Is it disgusting... ?"

Chanyeol's eyes almost bulge out of their sockets, "What? No way!" Junmyeon flinches at the loudness and Chanyeol apologizes immediately.

"It's just," Chanyeol grabs Junmyeon's hand and takes Junmyeon's spoon for him, urging him to continue eating, "All these times, I'm the one who's always eating. It's the first time you're eating together with me and I... I can't believe it."

Junmyeon notes the authenticity radiating from the latter, "You're happy?" Chanyeol gives him a big nod, "It sounds stupid-" "It's not," Junmyeon interjects, shying away from his gaze, "And I'm happy too."

Chanyeol fights the urge to squish Junmyeon's cheeks.

After cleaning up, Chanyeol leads him to the bedroom, hoping they fit on the single bed. Junmyeon only remembers this place back when he stayed the night after fainting at the bus stop.

The smart television is attached to the wall with a complete sound system underneath it a few feet away from the bed. On the other side of the room, there is the toilet. That was where Chanyeol came out with a cut on the chin.

"I hope it's comfortable," Chanyeol gathers the covers in his arms, unable to look Junmyeon in the eyes because his room is a hundred times smaller than Junmyeon's place.

Junmyeon settles his phone on the nightstand before sitting on the mattress, bringing his legs up as he lea