15

Every Letter I wrote To You
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‘I feel like you're a different person.’

They now sat on the couch, and Joohyun sat at the end of it, refusing to sit close to Seulgi, who is now staring at Joohyun with a watery eye. She was just hugging her folded knees as she placed her chin on it.

‘I’m sorry, I just feel angry. With him, you don’t have to be a secret.’

‘Then you should voice it out.’ Joohyun stated, a little bit irritated, ‘Ignoring me won’t solve anything you know? I thought I was all alone in this.’

‘This is my first –

‘Don’t use that against me because I can use my trauma to leave you right now.’

Seulgi clenched her jaw, so disappointed at how Joohyun reacted. ‘I didn’t mean it as an excuse.’ Seulgi shut her eyes, she needs a moment to figure out where it went wrong. ‘If you want me to speak out, then why did you hide something from me?’

‘I thought there was no point, and I don’t –

‘What do you mean there is no point, Joohyun?’ Seulgi asked through her gritted teeth. ‘He is your ex,’ Seulgi clutched her left chest before hitting it frustratingly ‘You are my girlfriend Joohyun. It means he is my girlfriend’s ex!! how is that no point telli –

Seulgi was unable to finish her sentences. She's just too upset!

Joohyun lowers her head, realising she is at fault for hiding it from Seulgi. It might be a small matter to her, but to Seulgi, it is a huge betrayal.

The sight of Joohyun cowering at the corner of the couch pained Seulgi. She hates it, seeing how Joohyun is crying in silence and how those small hands clasp together just to hide the trembles of it. Joohyun's silence and cry make Seulgi regret raising her voice.

She wants to fix this. She wants to meet Joohyun in the middle, and with that, she scoots closer. She wrapped her arms around Joohyun's small figure, which led to Joohyun bawling her eyes out.

‘seu- Seulgi – there is – something wrong wi- with me.’ She mutters in between her sobbing and hiccups.

‘Shh…’ Seulgi tried her best here to put away her anger and frustration because right now … Joohyun is at her lowest. She does expect this from Joohyun, she knows the therapist session is going to open the wound that Joohyun hides deeply in the pit. ‘Don’t think like that.’

‘I – ca- cannot be – fix.’

‘no.’ tighten her embrace, she pressed her lips against Joohyun's forehead. ‘Don’t do that to yourself, Hyun.’ Gently caressing Joohyun's head ‘I’m here.’

Joohyun sighed, her eyes landing on her hand, where Seulgi held it firmly. Trying to calm herself is a very impossible task now.

It always came back to her. Her trauma, her past. It seems there is no end to this. She has been doing therapy every week, yet she still can’t figure anything out.

She only knows she has so many flaws, and all of those –

‘All – I ever – did is hurts you.’

Seulgi couldn’t take it anymore. She grabbed Joohyun's head and forced the woman to look at her. ‘Look at me.’ She whispered, Seulgi covered Joohyun's ears, ‘eyes on me.’ She muttered, ‘I’m here, with you.’ pulling Joohyun closer, their foreheads touch. ‘You.are.not.impossible.to.me.’

Joohyun's tears streamed down even more, witnessing how Seulgi dealt with her dark side. It gave her strength and hope, but at the same time, she is afraid of making the same mistake in the future.

 

 

‘Do you think we need some time apart?’ Joohyun asked, Once she is all calm and collected, maybe some time apart is what Seulgi and her really need, and it might –

‘No, no, I don’t want that.’

Joohyun nodded. ‘I don’t want that too,' she whispered. She is still in Seulgi's arms.

‘You said you love me before,’ Joohyun brought up Seulgi's sudden confession back in the hotel.

‘I do, I really am Joohyun.’ Seulgi answered it with zero hesitancy. She just threw away all of her egos.

Seulgi went down on her knees, looking up into Joohyun's glossy eyes. She needed to show Joohyun that she is in love with the woman, which is one of the reasons she avoided Joohyun for a month. She is just hurt about the fact that Joohyun met Bogum that time, and she just realised now that she took it way too far. ‘I do love you. that one I know for sure.’ She brought Joohyun's hand close as she kissed those knuckles. ‘We are not impossible Hyun.’

‘What if I hurt you again in f–

‘Stop with the what if, one thing I know we will face everything together.’

Joohyun didn’t say anything afterward, she just let the silence feel the empty space. Resting her head on Seulgi's shoulder as she wraps her arm around Seulgi's waist, she finally feels Seulgi relax at her action.

Seulgi's heartbeat is slowly getting back to the normal pace, it was racing before.

They have a long journey ahead. Joohyun realised this night that it is true, love is just not enough to keep the relationship alive and healthy.

They need more than just love, they need to have trust, two-way communication, and comprehend each other's words and body language. There is so much more that needs to be built and learned, but for now, all Joohyun wants to do is pass this phase.

If they cannot do all of that, if they don’t try, if she doesn’t try, then it's going to hurt them a lot in the future.

 

….

 

They are getting better, didn’t go straight into the sunshine and rainbow after that night. Joohyun still acts a bit cautious, and Seulgi too is trying her best now.

The younger one manages to score a weekend getaway with Joohyun. It's two hours’ drive from Seoul.

Seulgi thought maybe being away from this city is a good thing for them than being stuck inside her small apartment.

Squeezing Joohyun's hand that she holds while the other hand grips tightly on the steering wheel. She stole a glance at Joohyun, who was looking so peaceful, staring at the scenery they were passing by. When the woman returns her gesture by a thumb against her knuckles, Seulgi's lips automatically form a smile.

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next chap 30 sept 2023

Comments

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pisnginisolgeeehhh #1
Chapter 23: Silently wishing for Book 2 of this story🥹🥺
Lucky_love11
#2
Chapter 22: ❣️
AnneTokki 50 streak #3
Chapter 22: 🥰🥰🥰
4zahan #4
Chapter 22: i need extra chapter, please
sewcret
#5
Chapter 22: INCREDIBLE!!! The plot so intriguing and you perfectly formulated the drama with the resolutions in my opinion. Thank you for writing this story for us to enjoy! Stay happy and healthy <3
Ash1078 #6
Chapter 22: Thank you for this amazing story! I really enjoyed reading it. I can’t wait to read the next one!
Raynie #7
Chapter 22: Aww.. it's the end? I wish therr are scene where Seulgi tell Joohyun about her feeling from the beginning that she have a crush on Joohyun since middel school. Hmmm... btw Thank you author.
amnionew #8
Thank you authornim. I like this story soo much. Keep waiting for the update. I’m so happy when there’s an update. Thank you again for finishing this. 😘
arqshime
227 streak #9
Chapter 22: Happiness! Than you author. This was a great story. I really loved your Seulgi. She wasn’t perfect but she was there when it matter and made it right. The make up was hot hehe
_rtempest
1020 streak #10
Chapter 22: Thankyou! 🧡🧡🧡