"... ganda nga Winter. I believe you now."

"Told you so..."

My ears perked up at what I heard. 

I didn't intend to eavesdrop on the two people conversing beside me. Nasa tabi lang ako ni Ryujin and even though they're just whispering, rinig na rinig ko pa rin ang usapan nila. 

I'm getting distracted by their topic. I subtly leaned in more to their side para mas marinig pa ang usapan nila. They continued on praising and complimenting whoever they were talking about. My brow furrowed at their words. Why do they sound like gusto nila yung girl. Nilingon ko sila.

My eyes gazed at Winter. I was slightly surprised when I caught her looking at me. She stopped talking and looked down. Napatingin naman ako kay Ryujin na malaki ang ngisi.

" Who are you talking about?"

" Uy, naririnig mo kami?" Sabay tiningnan niya ang space na natira sa pagitan namin. 

I rolled my eyes. 

" Yung crush ni Winter, ang ganda. "

" Crush? Babae? " My brow furrowed more when I asked that. 

She's weird, isn't she supposed to have a crush on boys? 

" Yup." Ryujin nodded her head.

I looked at them weirdly. I noticed Winter getting uneasy on her seat. Hindi siya makatingin. 

" Well it's normal to have crush on girls... And--" 

Mabilis na bumalik ang tingin ko sa ginagawa nang magsimula siyang magsalita. Umakto akong walang pakialam sa sinasabi niya. I shouldn't care. It's not like it's my business anyway. 

She stopped talking nang mapansin niyang nawalan ako ng interes makinig. 

Pero kalaunan din, they continued on their topic. I felt a small curiosity creeping in kaya dahan-dahan kong minataan kung sino ang tinutukoy nila.
I looked at the girl not too far from where we were. I studied her face carefully. My face turned sour. 

Hindi naman ganon kaganda. They're probably blind. 

I'm not exactly the type to get annoyed at people. In fact, I'm friendly and welcoming. 

That's why my friends are wondering why I'm acting differently towards one particular person...

Kay Winter.

Actually, in my defense, siya yung unang nagsungit sa akin.
I remember the first time I met her, nasa playground kami ng city plaza. I saw her just sitting alone on the swing. As a friendly and bibo kid, kaagad ko siyang nilapitan at nagpakilala.

" Hi, mag-isa ka lang? I'm Karina, what's your name?" 

Nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin. I flashed my brightest smile. Blangko lamang niya akong tiningnan kaya mas lalo ko pang nilawakan ang ngiti ko. I offered my hand too.

Her reaction did not change at all, para siyang natulala kaya iwinagayway ko ang kamay ko. She flinched a little at parang naging tuliro. Bigla pa siyang tumayo at maya-maya pa'y iniwan ako at kumaripas ng takbo.

Kumunot ang noo ko. 

Did she just ignore me? 

Rude. 

When I got back to my friends, tinanong nila ako kung bakit busangot ang mukha ko. I told them about the unfortunate encounter I had with this rude girl. They all calmed me down and said to just let it go.

I pouted. I don't even know why it bothered me so much. I wanted her to be my friend. She looks cute. 

Kinabukasan, I was so surprised to see her playing with Ryujin and Ningning. Kararating lamang namin ni Giselle kasi todo lagay pa ng pulbo sa amin sina manang.

Kaagad kaming hinila ni Ningning upang ipakilala sa bagong kaibigan daw. Giselle introduced herself first. I saw the girl smiling widely. I thought that maybe she was finally becoming nice kaya I wore the same smile I had yesterday pero nang matapat na sa akin ang tingin niya, bigla nalang napawi ang ngiti niya. My smile faded too at Unti-unting kumunot ang noo. What is wrong with her? Ayaw niya ba sa akin? 

Sa huli naman, nagpakilala rin siya with a super tiny voice. Winter. Bagay sa kanya. Cold. 

Maybe that started it all. Our first meeting wasn't pleasant. She ignored me when I was trying to be friendly with her. Masyado ko yung dinamdam. 

She's a snob! 

Apparently, she's now friends with my friends as well. She's already part of our circle. Kaya kahit saan kami magpunta she's always invited. I tried to be civil to her somehow. I just don't talk to her that much at minsan, I'm staring a little too long, wondering kung bakit hindi niya rin ako kinakausap. But there are times though na nahuhuli ko siyang nakatitig sa akin pero agad ding iiwas kapag nagkasalubong kami ng tingin. 

We're not close. She's very timid. But I couldn't say the same kapag ibang tao ang kaharap niya. Pagdating sa akin, ni hindi niya ako magawang kausapin, not even a simple hi. 

Fine, if you won't talk to me, I will ignore you too.

Our set up stayed that way hanggang tumuntong kami ng high school. Our friends did not bother to question it anymore kahit pa obvious sa kanila ang pagtataka. 

I was fine with not minding her presence much until that day when she opened and talked about Jeno.

I was talking animatedly in front of them all sa sala ng bahay namin. I'm describing how I like Jeno so much. I don't know why I got so fascinated by him. He looks so dreamy. He's handsome at sobrang talented pa. Plus, he's also part of the varsity team. I accidentally bumped into him one time sa gym and after that, I started having crush on him. 

Ryujin demanded a picture so agad ko namang ipinakita sa kanila ang photos niya from his fb account.

" So?" I squinted my eyes and observed their reactions.

" He looks familiar, Rina." 

I looked at Giselle, whose eyes were full of curiosity. 

Of course, he's familiar. Most girls are like talking about him. 

" Omg gwapo nga, bes! " 

I smiled proudly sa sinabi ni Ningning. Nakipag-apir pa ako sa kanya. 

" I told you." 

" Pangit. Maputi lang naman."

Nagpantig ang tenga ko nang marinig ko ang sinabi ng nasa pinakadulong pwesto. My eyebrows started twitching. 

She's scrolling through her phone now as if wala siyang sinabing nakakainsulto bago lang. 

Naramdaman ko ang pananahimik ng tatlo sa harapan. They're probably surprised too sa narinig. 

Binaba ko ang phone na hawak ko at magkakrus ang mga kamay na tinititigan siya. Nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin bago napatingin sa katabi siguro nagtataka bakit bigla kaming tumahimik. 

Was she not aware of what she just said? How dare she speak like that? 

I noticed how she swallowed so hard. Maybe ngayon lang nag sink in sa kanya na nasabi niya out loud yung insulto niya kay Jeno. 

" What did you say again?" 

Nagtama ulit ang mga paningin namin. Her eyes were filled with horror. Paulit-ulit siyang lumunok. 

"You said pangit? " I laughed sarcastically and looked at her from head to toe. 

"He's not ugly, you just don't have a taste. Mind you, he's a campus crush." Nanggigil na inirapan ko siya.  She was opening , parang may sasabihin pero hindi ko na hinintay at padabog na tumabi kay Giselle na naka-cover pa ang kamay sa bibig. 

Nakakainis. Nakakairita. She could have just shut up kung wala siyang sasabihin na maganda. She just insulted my crush! 

After that day, every time na magtatama ang mga tingin namin, automatic na umiikot ang mga mata ko. She's seriously getting on my nerves. 

The next days, napansin namin ang madalas na hindi niya pagsipot sa mga lakad namin lalo na sa saturday hang-outs namin. 

Every now and then, chini-check ko ang pintuan kung darating siya pero matutulog nalang kami, ni anino niya, wala.

I lost count of how many times I sighed na kahit si Giselle ay pinuna iyon.

I don't know, siguro masyado lang nakakapanibago na hindi kami kompleto. Okay, maybe madalas kaming hindi nagkikibuan at walang pakialam sa isa't-isa pero I still consider her a friend. 

Nang malaman ko kung ano ang dahilan ng pagiging MIA niya, mas lalo lang nadagdagan ang pagkainis ko

She's always seen going out with girls. Well, wala namang issue sa akin talaga but then, she could have informed us sooner diba? Right? Right? 

Simula noon mas lalo ko lang napansin ang bawat pagsama niya sa kung sino mang babae. Maybe at first, I found it weird when she expressed her attraction towards women. Pero later on, nasanay na rin ako. And then I started thinking na every other girl na kasama niya ay may posibilidad na gusto niya. 

And as time went by, hindi ko namamalayan na iba ang nagiging epekto nito sa akin. I unconsciously started comparing myself to the girls na sinasabi niyang crush niya. Mas lalo lang akong nairita like... Why is that? 

And worse kasi I started having insecurities na di ko alam na meron ako. I started checking out my body and traits, it's actually crazy!

Something's definitely wrong with me. 

We were hanging around the cafeteria and once again, Winter's at it again with her flirty advances sa isang senior. 

Kanina pa ako nakatitig sa kanila. I can feel the rage inside me. Maya-maya ay kumunot ang noo ko. I don't understand why I feel this way. Sa sobrang irita, napairap ako at sa pagbaling ko, saktong nagkatinginan kami ni Giselle. Her eyes narrowed. Sa gi