Jiyeon sighed for the millionth time that day while staring at the screen of her phone. Myungsoo didn’t answer her texts at all, she was utterly worried for him, she still couldn’t process the fact that Myungsoo quit college, why he didn’t tell her anything the day they went out? Why was he leaving her in the dark again? Why he didn’t trust her?

Enough Jiyeon, this isn’t about you.

The girl groaned and put her cellphone away. She knew it, that she shouldn’t be thinking about herself in a moment like that but she couldn’t help it. She wanted to help Myungsoo, support him, be by his side. But how can she do that if he insists in keeping her in the dark?

Jiyeon closed her eyes and leaned on the bed.

“What in the world happened?”

 

The next day Jiyeon went to school though the only thing she wanted to do was go straight to Myungsoo’s house to ask him what was happening. Hyomin was the first one to meet her at the classroom and immediately noticed something was wrong.

“You seem a bit down, is everything okay?” She asked after taking a seat beside her.

“Myungsoo quit college.” Jiyeon simply answered not looking at her.

“What?!” Hyomin asked in surprise.

Jiyeon sighed before starting to talk again.

“That’s what I found out yesterday. I tried to reach him but he’s not answering my texts nor my calls, I don’t know what’s happening and it’s driving me insane to be honest.” She finished while putting her head over the desk.

Hyomin sighed and looked at her with sadness, then she patted her back.

“Try to be calm, maybe he’s also dealing with that fact. He’ll reach you when he’s ready to talk about it.”

“I hope so. I’m really worried about him Hyomin.”

 

A whole month passed by without any sign of Myungsoo. A week after she knew Myungsoo quit college, Jiyeon couldn’t take it anymore and reached for the only person who could know something about him.

“Hey there sweetie it’s been so long.” The cheerful voice came out from the device.

“Hi Sungkyu.” Jiyeon answered with a smile.

“I didn’t expect you to call me out of nowhere, is everything alright?” He asked changing his voice tone to a more serious one.

“I’m sorry to bother you with this, but you’re the only one who can help me.”

“Let me guess, Myungsoo hasn’t contacted you.”

“How did you-?” She asked surprised.

“It’s always the same with you two, how could I not know?” He answered with a teasing tone.

“Guess you’re right.” Jiyeon answered discouraged.

“I don’t know much about what happened and I also think that Myungsoo is the one who has to tell you what happened. But what I can tell you is that he’s alright, at least as much as he can be, you don’t need to worry too much.”

“That’s all I wanted to know, just knowing he’s alright is enough for me.”

From that day on, Jiyeon would call Sungkyu from time to time in order to get to know something about Myungsoo. It was always the same answer “He’s alright” but not even a text from Myungsoo came to her phone.

Jiyeon tried not to be too affected because of that, but she couldn’t help but to feel sad and hurt because of Myungsoo’s actions.

It was as if she was no longer part of his life.

It hurt.

 

With Myungsoo’s absence being noticed by a lot of people, Minhyun also got to know about his departure. He was sure that Jiyeon would be sad and he confirmed it one day when he saw her from afar with a sad expression. He started to approach her again, he was aware about Jiyeon’s feelings so he genuinely just approached her as a friend to give her some support; and it actually worked out since Jiyeon was willing to lean on him.

 

Myungsoo was randomly walking in the streets in the middle of the night. He was aware that it was kind of a stupid thing to do, but it started to grow as an habit, for some reason he felt a bit better when walking and feeling the cold night air over his face.

At some point he recalled the conversation he held with Sungkyu through the phone that afternoon.

“Myungsoo I have a favor to ask of you.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Call Jiyeon.”

Myungsoo remained silent and scratched his forehead.

“I know that you’re currently not in the mood to talk about what happened but I don’t want to keep being in between you two, just please talk to her.”

“So you’re done with her?” Myungsoo teased.

“Of course not, I could never be done with her, but it’s always the same with you both. You never talk things through and that attitude is what I’m really done with.” Sungkyu scolded.

“I know. It’s just that I really don’t want to face it right now.”

“Then when? You’ve been avoiding her for more than a month now. How do you think she’s doing? You know her feelings towards you, you can’t keep being a coward Myungsoo.”

The boy shook his head and sighed heavily, then he stopped his track and looked at the sky.

When did things become so complicated?

In the middle of that thought, his phone received a call, he chuckled with irony when he saw the name on the screen. It’s been a while since Jiyeon tried to call him, she stopped after the first week and then from time to time she called him only once.

>>You can’t keep being a coward Myungsoo.

Sungkyu’s words resonated in his head, he closed his eyes for a second and then opened them again, answering the call.

“Hey.” He said without much hype.

The other side of the line remained silent for some seconds before finally answering.

“I didn’t expect you would answer.”

Myungsoo frowned when he heard her serious voice, it didn’t sound like her. He clenched his free fist while thinking he was the main cause of that change.

“I’m sorry.” Was the only thing he could say.

“You should be.” She recriminated.

The boy was even more taken aback, Jiyeon always tried to reassure him and almost never blamed him about anything. But that time was different and he so clearly understood why.

“I guess you’re angry.”

“How did you expect me to be? You didn’t answer my texts nor my calls, you simply vanished, Sungkyu was the only one who would tell me something about you.” She angrily said, then sighed heavily and after a moment of silence she spoke again with a more calm and sad voice tone. “You have any idea how worried I was for you?”

Myungsoo closed his eyes and frowned, once again, Sungkyu’s words came to him.

>>You’ve been avoiding her for more than a month now. How do you think she’s doing? You know her feelings towards you.

I’m really a terrible person. He thought.

“Don’t worry anymore, I’m alright.” He tried to reassure her.

“Will you tell me what happened?” She quickly asked.

There it was, the question he didn’t want to face, the one which he wasn’t ready to answer.

Since Myungsoo remained silent, Jiyeon chuckled before speaking again.

“Just as I expected, you won’t tell me a thing.”

“I’m just too ashamed to tell you.” Myungsoo sincerely answered.

“Was it really so bad for you not wanting to tell me about it? What in the world was it?!” Jiyeon raised her voice.

“I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fine. I won’t ask about it any further.” Jiyeon answered discouraged.

Myungsoo knew Jiyeon finally gave up, he knew her, Jiyeon was now another step far from him.

“Thanks for understanding.”

Then an uncomfortable silence took place. Something like that never happened before between them, their moments of silence were always pleasant. Myungsoo could feel an emptiness in his chest, it was then that he knew, their relationship had changed.

After a while, Myungsoo couldn’t take it anymore and spoke again.

“Jiyeon.”

“Hm?”

He wanted to say so many things, explain a whole more, but he simply couldn’t do it. He hated himself for his cowardice.

“I gotta go now.”

“Alright, I hope we can meet someday.”

Myungsoo frowned again. Why did it sound like a farewell? Almost as if they won’t see each other ever again. Myungsoo panicked and spoke again.

“Please promise me you’ll remember something.” He said in a rush.

“What is it?” Jiyeon answered with confusion.

“I love you, I truly really love you dearly Jiyeon.” He sincerely said.

Jiyeon remained silent and Myungsoo was expectant about her answer.

“You know what I feel towards you, but I also know that’s not what you want. You don’t have to worry about that anymore. Take care Myungsoo.”

Before Myungsoo could answer, the call was cut. The boy put his phone away from his ear and just blankly stared to the empty road in front of him.

What in the world just happened?

A sharp pain crossed his chest and he couldn’t help but to put a hand over it. It was the first time he felt it that bad. Only then he realized something, what he felt for Jiyeon was more than fraternal love, he truly loved her with all he had, just until that moment he felt that his love towards her was much more stronger than all his fears.

Why? Why until now?

Silent tears ran from his eyes while he chuckled sadly, anyone would have thought he became insane, and it would be right at some extent, since he was about to become insane because of the pain.

He started to regret everything, not being honest enough to realize his feelings towards Jiyeon during high school, not being brave enough to confess to her when they started college and not being confident enough to tell her he also loved her with all his might when she confessed to him.

>>Stop this and decide what you want once and for all, stop this stupid and dangerous game already. This has gone too far, stop it before it destroys you both.

Myungsoo chuckled once again after remembering what Sungkyu told him a long time ago. Why did Sungkyu’s words had that much sense until that moment? It seemed that his best friend was always right in everything he said.

“I guess in the end we destroyed each other.”

He looked up to the sky and sighed heavily.

“I’m sorry Jiyeon.”

The fact that he realized his feelings and the intensity of them, didn’t have sense anymore. Both of them, as well as their relationship, were irreparably broken. How much he loved her and how much he desired to fix things didn’t matter anymore. Nothing could be fixed and the only way out of the mess was for them to break apart.

Myungsoo never expected it to be that hard, never expected that such a day would come.

It hurt.

 

After that call, they actually didn’t talk much, aside from some texts from time to time talking about trivial matters, they didn’t spoke at all. Months passed by and things at school were good, without Myungsoo there, she started to focus more on classes and didn’t skip them. She started to hang out more with the girls and she also started to grow close to Minhyun’s friends.

Minhyun was also a great support for her, the boy wasn’t actually trying to make moves on Jiyeon and the girl was thankful for that, he was behaving only like a good friend.

“We’re near to graduation, how are you all doing?” JR asked to everyone at the table.

“Ugh don’t even mention it, I need to work hard if I actually want to graduate.” Eunjung said discouraged.

“Serves you right girl, you’ve been slacking off for quite a while now. I’d actually be surprised if you manage to graduate.” Ren answered and then took a sip from his soda.

“The hell did you say?! I dare you to say that again!” Eunjung raised her voice and pointed him with a finger.

“Now now calm down, don’t point at him like that.” JR tried to calm his friend.

Everyone laughed at that and Minhyun looked at Jiyeon who was seating beside him, she seemed relaxed and it was a relief for him.

“What about you Jiyeon? Are you alright with that topic?” He asked her in a more private conversation.

“Yeah, I’ve got no issues with that, since Myungsoo isn’t here anymore I was able to focus more on my duties.”

Minhyun could notice how her gaze saddened upon the mention of that name, he sighed.

“You two still don’t talk to each other?”

“Not that much actually, some texts from time to time but nothing more than that. I guess he’s still avoiding me.”

“Maybe that’s what you two need, some space to think things over, don’t you think so?” Minhyun tried to cheer her up.

“Guess you’re right.” Jiyeon answered not that convinced.

 

With graduation nearing, Jiyeon thought about getting a part time job since she also started to have a lot of free time. She managed to get one as a secretary. She adapted quite fast to the job and soon was given more tasks. Weeks later a new employee came and she was assigned to train her.

“Hi, you must be Jiyeon right?”

Jiyeon turned to look at the girl beside her desk and smiled.

“Hi, yes I’m Jiyeon, you must be the rookie.”

“My name is Nana, nice to meet you.” Nana politely said while smiling at Jiyeon.

After that, Jiyeon started to explain all the things related to the work to Nana, the girl turned out to be really smart and she quickly got used to the job, just like Jiyeon.

It wasn’t a surprise to anyone that both ended up being really close and soon they established a friendship.

For Jiyeon it really was a surprise, aside from Hyomin and the girls, she really didn’t had that much friends, and the fact that Nana and her became good friends so easily, amazed her, she thought that after what happened with Sojin and Kyungri it would be hard for her to trust people again and make friends. She was relieved that it wasn’t the case.

 

Half a year passed in a blink. Jiyeon was only three months away from finishing college, things in her work and her relationship with Nana was going marvelously, she was really having fun with her friends at college and also helping some others in order for them all to be able graduate. Everything was fine and things with Myungsoo were still the same.

Both of them rarely spoke, Jiyeon wasn’t even surprised that the boy didn’t even answer her texts; she gradually grew used to that, until the point when they stopped talking completely. She wouldn’t deny it still hurt, no matter how hard she tried for it not to bother her, in the end she would remember him and feel down.

One day, her class started to talk about the prom party. Everyone was really hyped up about it and Jiyeon was also really happy, it was nice to talk about it.

“Hey we should start taking it more seriously, what about assigning today the ones who will be in charge of organizing the prom?” One of her classmates suddenly suggested.

“That’s right, the earlier we plan it the best!” Another one said.

Everyone started to say names and in between laughs and complains, they started to narrow the names that were more mentioned the most among all of them.

“Alright, so here are the most voted people.”

Jiyeon sighed and scratched her head when she saw Hyomin’s name in the board, she was sure that the girl would never agree.

“Hell no.” Hyomin suddenly said.

There it is. Jiyeon thought with a smile.

“I’ve got no time to deal with all that stuff, there’s no way I’ll do it.” She said with crossed arms.

“Oh come on Hyomin, you’re the best among us when it comes to negotiations.” One of the classmates said.

“You’ve got another four names in there, select another one.” She retorted.

“Well we were actually thinking that it would be better to have the four of you in the committee.”

“What? No way, I said no.”

Everyone was trying hard to persuade her but Hyomin was reluctant to do the task. Jiyeon sighed and thought that it couldn’t be that bad so she also tried to persuade her best friend.

“Hey come on, how bad can it be? Plus they’re right when they say you’re the best for this task.”

Hyomin turned to look at her with a frown but almost immediately she changed her expression to a grin.

This can’t be good. Jiyeon thought with nervousness.

“Okay, I’ll agree but only with one condition.”

“What is it?” Someone asked.

“Add Jiyeon to the committee.” She mischievously said.

“What?!” Jiyeon almost screamed. “I’m not even in the list.” She tried to reason with her.

“Well that isn’t a problem, if that’s the condition then we have a deal.” One of the classmates said.

Jiyeon couldn’t do anything else and she just gave up, watching as her name was added to the list and also Hyomin with a huge grin right at her side.

After that was settled, they continued with the next lessons and the end of the day came. Jiyeon and Hyomin were walking to the exit of the university when Jiyeon suddenly started to talk.

“I want to invite Myungsoo to the prom.”

Hyomin sighed heavily and looked at her friend.

“What for?”

Jiyeon stopped walking and also looked at her.

“I know, that things between us are beyond bad. That this kind of thought may seem dumb to you but even when things are like this between us now, he’s still someone really important to me. Besides, he is also an important part of why I actually ended college.” Jiyeon explained her.

Hyomin was a bit reluctant to agree with her friend and Jiyeon was aware of it but she really wanted to invite him, for some reason, she wanted him there despite of everything that happened between them.

“Alright, it’s your decision and you’ve got your reasons, maybe it’s already time for you to try to talk to him.” Hyomin encouraged her.

Jiyeon smiled at her and nodded, grateful that her friend actually supported her with her decision.

 

A/N: Another chapter is up ^^

As always, thank you so so much for reading, and your patience, comments are appreciated ^^ stay safe and have a beautiful day <3