Myungsoo looked for Jiyeon but wasn’t able to find her, so he decided to wait until the end of the day. Hours passed and when his lessons finally finished, he was the first one to go out. He went to Jiyeon’s classroom, however, her classmates told him she just went away so the boy ran to the main entrance and was finally able to spot her.

“Jiyeon!” He called her out loud.

The girl turned around and widened her eyes in surprise. Myungsoo reached her and asked to have a talk. Jiyeon agreed and they went to a near restaurant. Once there, Myungsoo ordered something to drink for both.

“Um Myungsoo I don’t know what is it but I would prefer if you could make it fast, I need to head back home.” Jiyeon suddenly said a bit uncomfortable.

Myungsoo remained some seconds in silence just looking at the troubled expression of the girl, how he hated to see her in such a state.

“I broke up with Kyungri.” He finally said.

Jiyeon frowned and looked at him confused.

“What? Why?”

“I already know it all.” He simply answered.

“Oh.”

Jiyeon looked away and the whole mood became awkward. The drinks arrived and Jiyeon quickly took hers to start drinking.

“Were you really planning not to tell me about it?” Myungsoo asked with a frown.

Jiyeon acknowledged she wouldn’t be able to avoid that conversation, so she left the drink on the table and sighed heavily.

“Well you seemed to be really happy by her side, how could I tell you such a thing?” She started saying. “Besides… after what happened the other day at the bar, I was afraid that you would take it as an excuse or a lie.”

Myungsoo sighed heavily and rubbed his temples.

How foolish can this girl be? He thought.

“Listen, I’m sorry.” Myungsoo apologized.

“It wasn’t your fault, there’s no need for you to apologize.”

“No, I have to apologize and not only for what happened with Kyungri but because of how I have been behaving with you, I’ve been selfish.” Myungsoo sincerely said.

Jiyeon sighed and smiled at him.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to worry about it anymore.”

“Hey don’t brush it off as if it doesn’t have any importance, I was wrong.” Myungsoo angrily answered.

“You already apologized and I said it’s okay, what else you want me to say?” Jiyeon replied.

Myungsoo was left speechless, it was rare to see his friend speaking so seriously.

“We just had bad luck, that’s all, forget about it and let’s leave this issue behind us, let the past stay in the past, to be honest I don’t want to know more about Sojin or Kyungri, I had enough already.”

The boy saw how uncomfortable Jiyeon was with the topic so he decided to follow the girl’s advice and let the past stay in the past. Both labeled the issue as something closed and moved on from it.

 

Months went by and soon they were already starting the 4^th year. Jiyeon thought that after what happened with Kyungri she and Myungsoo would go back to being like they’ve always been, however, the boy started to kind of distance from her. It wasn’t that evident for the rest of the people but for her it was something obvious, Myungsoo was acting a bit distant and she wasn’t quite sure why.

“I’m planning on directly telling Myungsoo I like him.”

Hyomin looked at Jiyeon as if another head had grown on her. They were walking to the main entrance of the campus after the classes were done. Hyomin stopped walking and Jiyeon did the same.

“Girl please don’t.” Hyomin answered.

Jiyeon frowned at her in confusion.

“Why?”

Hyomin sighed and scratched her head before answering.

“I know you won’t like what I’m going to say but to be honest I don’t think it’s a good idea that you two become a couple.”

Jiyeon snorted in disbelief and closed her eyes for a brief moment before fixing her gaze on her friend again.

“Come on Hyomin, what’s this? Weren’t you the one who pressured me to accept that I was in love with Myungsoo and also the number one supporter of the idea of us being together?”

“That was back then, now things are different.” Hyomin seriously answered.

Jiyeon crossed her arms and tilted her head with a frown.

“I have always wondered, why did you change your mind about us being together? That change took place after the reunion at the bar, what the hell did you two talked about?”

“As much as I want to, I can’t tell you, the only thing I know is that you two shouldn’t be together anymore.”

Jiyeon rolled her eyes and nodded.

“Alright, but even without your support, I won’t miss the chance to tell him how I feel this time.”

With that being said, Jiyeon started to walk again. Hyomin acknowledged that the conversation had ended and just followed her friend in silence, hoping that she wouldn’t make another mistake.

 

“To be honest I thought you wouldn’t accept coming with me.”

Jiyeon smiled at Minhyun and took a sip from her coffee. Actually she also didn’t know what the hell she was doing there. Minhyun distanced from her a bit after it was known that Myungsoo and Kyungri broke up; he thought that Jiyeon and Myungsoo wouldn’t delay in becoming a couple, though surprisingly, months started to pass and they were still the same. Therefore, Minhyun took that as a signal that he still had a chance with Jiyeon so he started to approach to her again and a couple of days ago he asked her on a date to which she actually agreed. So now there they were, having some coffee at a mall.

“Yeah, I also was a bit unsure about coming to be honest.” Jiyeon admitted.

“Guess it has to do with Myungsoo, right?” Minhyun asked.

Jiyeon sighed and looked away, Minhyun noticed the girl was kind of angry so he frowned and tilted his head.

“Did something happen with him?” He asked with curiosity.

“No, I guess that’s what has me kind of annoyed, well things have been a bit weird, it’s kind of a push and pull kind of relationship and I’m getting tired of this.” Jiyeon confessed.

Minhyun just nodded and leaned on the chair, Jiyeon chuckled and took another sip from her coffee.

“So, what are you planning to do now?” Minhyun asked.

Jiyeon looked at him and frowned a bit, it wasn’t hard to know what she was thinking, actually Minhyun was asking himself the same question, why the hell was he trying to know about Myungsoo and Jiyeon’s relationship? It hurt to know that the girl he was in love with, was in love with another man. Minhyun sighed and chuckled.

“Forget what I said, it’s none of my business after all.”

Jiyeon just nodded. If she was honest, she was relieved of not having to answer that question, it would be hard for the boy to get to know she was actually planning to confess to Myungsoo.

“Actually, I wanted to talk with you about something Jiyeon.” Minhyun said after a moment of silence.

Jiyeon remained silent, she knew what was going to take place.

“I know that you already rejected me once and I thought you and Myungsoo would get together after what happened with Kyungri, but when I saw you two were quite distant, I couldn’t help but to get my hopes up. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help it. I’m aware that you’re still in love with Myungsoo, but I want to let you know that I also still love you and I’ll always be good to you no matter what, you’re really precious to me and nothing would make me happier than you accepting to date me.”

Minhyun was really straightforward and determined, Jiyeon was touched by that, but she couldn’t just change the way she felt, and it wouldn’t be fair for Minhyun to try on something she clearly knows won’t work out.

“Minhyun, I still love Myungsoo and not only that.” She made a pause; she didn’t expect it would be so hard to do that. “I’m planning to confess.”

Jiyeon sighed and lowered her gaze, she didn’t know what else to say, Minhyun suddenly chuckled and Jiyeon looked at him again in confusion.

“I already expected that answer.” Minhyun said with a sad smile and then looked at Jiyeon with a warm smile. “Just keep in mind that I’m still here and that I love you no matter what.”

Jiyeon sighed and smiled at him, then nodded. The girl could see Minhyun was obviously hurt but was acting like nothing happened. She wouldn’t deny she was feeling terrible, since the moment Minhyun proposed to just be friends she knew that wouldn’t work at all, not if Minhyun still had feelings for her.

 

“Isn’t that Jiyeon?”

Myungsoo looked in the direction Sungkyu was looking and indeed saw Jiyeon, he smiled a bit, but then realized she was with someone else, and he recognized him at just one glance, Minhyun.

“Of course it’s her.” Myungsoo answered and started to walk towards them, but Sungkyu took him by the arm and made him stop.

“What the hell you think you’re doing?” Sungkyu asked with a frown.

“I could ask the same.” Myungsoo answered and then looked at the hold on his arm.

“You were about to go to them and take Jiyeon with you, right?” Sungkyu said.

“Of course.” Myungsoo answered like it was obvious.

Sungkyu snorted angrily and dragged him from there until they reached a spot far from Jiyeon.

“Let me go already Sungkyu, I won’t leave here until I take Jiyeon with me.”

“Snap out of it already, have you heard yourself? You’re acting like a jerk.” Sungkyu scolded. “You don’t have any right to take her away, now calm down and let’s go.”

Sungkyu took Myungsoo to his house and there Myungsoo finally calmed down.

“Hey, I’m sorry, I did act the wrong way back there.” He apologized.

Sungkyu sighed and gave him a beer before sitting by his side. Myungsoo opened it, as well as Sungkyu, and both started to drink.

“Myungsoo, you don’t love Jiyeon.” Sungkyu suddenly said.

Myungsoo almost choked with his drink and after some coughs, he looked at Sungkyu in disbelief.

“Why so sudden?” He simply asked.

“You told me before that you were confused and you thought you didn’t deserve Jiyeon’s love.” He made a pause. “At first I thought you were confused by the fact that you two had been friends for quite long, but now I know the truth. You don’t love Jiyeon anymore, what you’re confusing is love with need.”

Myungsoo sighed heavily and chuckled.

“I do love her Sungkyu, but I’m scared and I don’t want to hurt her.”

“You’re already hurting her and yourself as well.” Sungkyu scolded. “I’ve always supported you in your decisions and I’ve never told you what to do but things are different now. I told you quite a while ago that you must take a decision, but it’s already too late, you have to let her go. Even if you two end up together, you won’t be happy.”

“How can you be so sure about that? It doesn’t have sense.” Myungsoo angrily answered.

“Just look at yourselves right now, neither of you are brave enough to talk straightly to each other and say the things that you’ve always been running from. Even I’m done with that dynamic of yours, I can’t imagine how burdening it’s for you two.” Sungkyu explained.

Myungsoo couldn’t answer back because Sungkyu was right. Jiyeon never told him directly if she does or doesn’t like him, neither Myungsoo has done that. There were a lot of things unsaid between them.

“End this once and for all. You have to talk to her and you both have to let go of each other.” Sungkyu finally said.

 

Myungsoo spent a sleepless night overthinking about the talk he had with Sungkyu. He didn’t want to think about it but his brain just wouldn’t let him rest.

I do love Jiyeon, there’s no way I don’t. But… do I really want to be in a relationship with her? He wondered. Why do I doubt? Shouldn’t the answer be obvious? Then… why?

The day finally came and Myungsoo got ready for classes, well not exactly, it’s been a while since he started to skip them and there were days when he didn’t even bothered to go to university. But that day he was kind of in the mood for it.

He was reaching the campus when he spotted someone he knew really well from afar. Jiyeon was leaning on a wall, she seemed to be waiting for someone.

>>Myungsoo, you don’t love Jiyeon.

Sungkyu’s voice came to his mind while he was staring at the girl and just in that moment she looked in his direction and a huge smile was shown on her face. Myungsoo approached to her and Jiyeon asked to go somewhere else to talk, since she had something to tell him. Myungsoo found it strange but agreed.

Jiyeon took Myungsoo to a place where not a lot of people were, she was nervous but determined. Myungsoo needed to know how she felt towards him.

“Myungsoo, I need to tell you something important.” Jiyeon said to him.

“I’m all ears.” Myungsoo answered warmly.

Jiyeon smiled to him, then sighed trying to calm herself down. She looked straightly in his eyes.

“I like you.” Myungsoo widened his eyes in surprise. “It’s been quite a while since I acknowledged it and probably I have loved you even since before. It’s just that I was scared to lose you, but I’m sure of what I feel and I think you need to know about it.” She finished saying.

Jiyeon’s heart was racing, she couldn’t remember the last time she felt that nervous and happy. She finally said it, she finally had the courage to say out loud what was hidden in her heart. Now she only needed to wait for Myungsoo’s response.

But when the girl saw the boy’s expression, the joy disappeared, Myungsoo had a troubled expression on his face. When she was about to ask what was happening, Myungsoo suddenly took her into his arms. His breathing was normal and his heartbeat wasn’t as strong as hers.

“Jiyeon you know I love you, I’ve always loved you.” Jiyeon noticed his monotonous voice tone and got discouraged. “Let’s not get us tangled into terms like couple, relationships or stuff like that. Besides…” He broke the embrace and looked at her face. “I don’t think I’m good enough for you.” Myungsoo tried to lighten the mood with a chuckle.

Jiyeon smiled awkwardly at him and Myungsoo just went back to talk to her like always and even when Jiyeon wanted to keep talking about that, she was scared, scared to ask what he exactly meant with that.

 

“I think that’s pretty clear.” Hyomin said before taking a bite from her food.

“Well he didn’t tell me he didn’t like me, maybe he just needs some time to think about it, it was all really sudden after all.” Jiyeon replied and ate a chip.

“Girl Myungsoo never says things directly, I’m sorry to say this, but he actually rejected you.” Hyomin cautiously said.

“I won’t give up that easily, not until he directly tells me he doesn’t want to be with me.” Jiyeon stubbornly answered.

Hyomin sighed and lifted an eyebrow.

“I know I won’t make you change your mind, I just hope you won’t end up really hurt.”

 

After that day, Myungsoo started to avoid Jiyeon at all costs. The girl rarely saw him at campus and he usually didn’t answer her texts. She didn’t know what she did so wrong for him to behave like that, she just confessed, she didn’t expect such a response from him. Though troubles didn’t end there.

Jiyeon got to know that Myungsoo was doing badly at school again, she felt like going back to high school, the more she looked into it, the more worried she became. Myungsoo not only skipped classes but also had a bad reputation among teachers for being rude and conceited. She hoped for things to get back in the right way but she didn’t know what she could do for him, since he didn’t even answer her texts or calls. A couple of weeks went by like that and then the notice that made her really worried came, Myungsoo wouldn’t be able to graduate that year.

She tried to contact him by all means but the boy was nowhere to be found.

 

One day, out of the blue, she received a call from Myungsoo. She was resting at home since it was weekend, so when she saw the call, she immediately answered surprised.

“Myungsoo!” She answered a bit more excited than what she wanted.

Myungsoo chuckled and Jiyeon felt how her body warmed up after hearing that laugh.

“Still as energetic as always.” He answered. “Are you free right now?”

“Yeah, why?”

“How about going out to watch a movie? Just like the old days.” He proposed.

Jiyeon agreed and they went to a near cinema. Just like Myungsoo said, it was like the good old days, they forgot about everything for a while and just enjoyed each other’s presence. They spent a great day and when the sun was setting, Myungsoo took Jiyeon to a coffee shop.

“It was great to hang out with you like this again.” Myungsoo said with a smile.

“Yes, I had a lot of fun.” Jiyeon agreed.

The mood between them suddenly changed. Jiyeon couldn’t help but to think that Myungsoo still didn’t tell her about what was happening with him. There was no way he wouldn’t notice the countless calls and texts she sent him. But just like always, he kept her in the dark, not sharing his worries nor his blues. She felt left aside and it hurt, it hurt more than she thought it would.

“Myungsoo.” Jiyeon called him and he looked at her. “Something’s happening, right?”

Myungsoo looked away and then lowered his gaze, Jiyeon frowned in confusion.

“Actually I wanted to tell you something, that’s why I asked to see you.”

Jiyeon remained silent for him to continue speaking.

“I’m not ready for a relationship right now.” He made a pause. “I love you and I really love you dearly, but I don’t think I can do this right now.”

Jiyeon felt her heart sink, she actually believed that a direct reject could have been less painful, because by what he said, it wasn’t that he didn’t like her but that he was unsure.

“I understand.” Jiyeon said discouraged while lowering her gaze.

Myungsoo noticed the change in the girl in front of him and regretted hurting her like that, but what he said was the truth, he couldn’t offer her anything else in that moment. He reached for her hand and took it in an attempt to give her comfort. Jiyeon looked at him again and was faced with his warm smile, the smile that she loved so much but in that moment was like a sharp knife piercing her heart.

“You just need to remember something, that I love you, more than anything.”

Jiyeon smiled at him and nodded. She didn’t trust her voice at all and didn’t have the strength to answer either.

 

For a couple of days Jiyeon didn’t look for Myungsoo. She was trying to understand him, but truth was that she was hurt and also kind of scared, since she knew that her relationship with Myungsoo would obviously change, no matter how much she didn’t want that to happen.

Some weeks passed by and Jiyeon found it strange that Myungsoo was nowhere to be seen. Even when they were distanced, there were days that she would spot him from afar but with the passing days she noticed Myungsoo didn’t show up at all. When Hyomin also noticed it and asked her, she decided to look into it, though what she found out actually shocked her.

Myungsoo quit college.

 

A/N: As always, thank you so so much for reading, and your patience, comments are appreciated ^^ stay safe and have a beautiful day <3