TW: ual assault 

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Yuqi watched as her best friend frantically went about their apartment, throwing stuff behind her shoulder, and when Shuhua didn’t find what she was finding in that particular area, she would move on to the next. 

“What are you looking for? Maybe I can help?” Yuqi asked from her place against Shuhua’s door, hands crossed, and eyes wide against the mess on the floor. 

“I can’t find it. Where did I put it?” Shuhua groaned to herself, a distressed look on her face. 

It’s been close to two weeks since Shuhua has last seen Soojin, and Yuqi could definitely see that Shuhua was definitely not taking it well. And from Soyeon’s news on Soojin, the older girl wasn’t taking it well either. Soojin had only buried herself in her work to get her mind off of things. 

Occasionally, Soojin being the lovestruck gentlewoman that she was, she would call or text Yuqi to ask for updates if Shuhua was doing okay, and taking care of herself. Of course, Yuqi was honest with her. 

Shuhua was most definitely not okay. 

Shuhua wasn’t eating, she wasn’t sleeping, she only studied, went to the clinic, and went to work. Yuqi has tried many times to be there for Shuhua, but of course, the younger girl puts up her walls again like she always does. 

“My journal. Where’s my journal?” Shuhua asked Yuqi, “my journal where I wrote—,” Shuhua didn’t finish her words, heaving another frustrated sigh as her eyes frantically went about her messy room. 

“I don’t know, Shu, what does it look like? I’ll help you find it.” Yuqi offered, stepping into the room, trying to collect the younger girl into her arms for comfort. 

“The journal, Yuqi.” Shuhua repeated, and with the look in Shuhua’s eyes, Yuqi finally understood what she was talking about. 

“O-Oh…” Yuqi blinked, eyes saddening. 

“Wha—, w-why… Why are you looking for it? Why now?” Yuqi gulped, sitting on the floor like Shuhua was. 

Shuhua’s eyes grew teary upon meeting Yuqi’s worried gaze. “I don’t want to hurt her anymore, Yuqi. I-I… I love her.” Shuhua clutched onto Yuqi tightly, “I love her so much and I can’t live another day without her next to me.” 

Yuqi pulled away slightly, raising her hands to cradle Shuhua’s face softly, and coaxing her best friend to look her dead in the eyes. “Sweetie, if you think you’re ready, then okay… You should never force yourself to open up about something so traumatic if you’re not ready to. Soojin understands that.” 

Shuhua took in a breath, “I-I know… I know that…” Yuqi furrowed her eyebrows, trying to read through Shuhua to make sure that her best friend’s words weren’t forced.

“I’m ready to share that part of me with her, but I can’t bring myself to talk about what happened… but the journal, Yuqi. I-I could just show it to her.” Shuhua explained, “but I can’t remember where I put the damn thing.” Shuhua groaned, turning her head away from Yuqi’s hands, as if the journal would magically appear where her eyes landed. Although, she probably already scoped every inch of her room. 

Yuqi offered her a small smile, “okay… we’ll look for it together, and we’ll find it, okay?” 

Shuhua looked at her best friend adoringly, “thank you.” 

//

When the librarian came to Shuhua, holding her original cup of coffee and a brown paper bag that night, Shuhua almost wanted to cry. The librarian placed it gently in front of Shuhua, a knowing smile on her lips. 

“She came by and told me to give this to the beautiful girl in the green hoodie. I don’t have to tell you who it’s from right?” The librarian says, lingering a bit to see how this gesture made Shuhua feel. She was very familiar with the two women. Well, how can she not, when Shuhua was here almost everyday, and Soojin would be by at the same time of the night to drag Shuhua out of her stress. 

She absolutely adored watching the two interact, and there wasn’t a bone in her body that doubted how in love these two young women were.

Shuhua bit her lip, staring at the brown paper bag that had a small note on the top where it folded. 

‘Eat, please, my love. Take care of yourself.’ 

Shuhua looked up at the old lady and flashed her a smile of gratitude. “Thank you, Mrs. Wence.” 

“I know it’s not any of my business, sweetie, but is everything alright between you two?” Mrs. Wence asked with furrowed brows. Shuhua adjusts in her seat, eyes casting onto her fidgeting fingers. 

“We aren’t, Mrs. Wence, but we love each other very much. We just needed some time apart, so we can think about some things. We’re going to fix it very soon.” Shuhua says with determination. 

Mrs. Wence nods slowly in understanding, “that’s good. I can see how much love you two have for each other. The kind of love that lasts forever.” 

Shuhua blinks, taken aback a little. “F-Forever?”

Mrs. Wence nods, “yes, forever. Do you not think so?” Mrs. Wence takes a seat in front of Shuhua, waiting for the younger woman to carry out her reply.

“T-That’s a s-scary word…” Shuhua stutters. 

Mrs. Wence let out a small chuckle, “but you love her, no?” 

Shuhua nods, “yes. Yes I do.” No hesitation at all in her answer, and it came out breathy and genuine. 

“Then why wouldn’t she be yours forever?” Mrs. Wence’s smile was sweet and soft. The ones that make people feel warm inside like receiving a tight hug.

“I’ve been alive a very long time, dear, and this,” Shuhua looks at the finger that jabs into the wood of the table, “this type of love, is one of the great reasons that can make life worth living so much more.

Now, it’s not necessary, but when you have it, it’s a whole different type of feeling. And you hold onto that. That girl, I know she makes you happy. I know she treats you like you’re the most important person in her life.” Mrs. Wence reaches for Shuhua’s hand, placing soft pats onto the back of her hand. 

“I see the way you guys smile at each other. It’s hard to miss when it practically brightens the dullness of this library.” Mrs. Wence laughs, “it’s a nice sight to see rather than the grim looks of all these stressed kids that bury themselves in their books.” 

“Thank you, Mrs. Wence.” Shuhua smiles. 

“Everything will work out well, dear.” Mrs. Wence gives Shuhua’s hand one last, and comforting pat, before standing up and resuming back towards her post at the front desk.

//

“Shuhua, I need you to come into work tomorrow night.” 

Shuhua stops in her tracks, holding the tray of food to balance on her hands. She blinks at her boss, cocking her head to the side in question. “I don’t work Thursdays, sir. I have back to back classes till night.” 

“I don’t care. Either you work or you’re fired.” 

Shuhua opened to retaliate, but suddenly remembered the tray of food she was holding, and rushed to her table to give them their food. 

She rushed back towards her boss that was lingering behind the bar, constantly filling his glass with more and more wine.

Not very professional of him, and probably explains why he’s such a douche most of the time. Shuhua has never really seen him sober, so she wouldn’t know if he was normally that way. 

“Sir, please.” Shuhua hates to have to beg, “I need this job.” 

“Then you’ll show up to work tomorrow night.” 

Shuhua clenches her jaw, “I can’t afford to skip any of my classes, sir, please. My scholarships—,” 

“If you don’t show up to work tomorrow, you’ll get fired, and then you won’t be able to afford anything.” 

“I-I can take her shift tomorrow night, sir, I don’t mind.” Lia says, grabbing a bottle of wine that was requested from behind the counter of the bar. 

“No. If Shuhua doesn’t want to get fired, she’ll listen to her boss, and come in to work tomorrow night.” 

Lia only nodded, flashing Shuhua an apologetic look, before leaving them be. 

“Sir, please—,” Shuhua tries again. 

Her boss lifts his hand to stop her from continuing, sipping smugly with power onto his filled wine glass. 

“We’re done here. Get back to work.” 

“Sir, if I may ask…” Shuhua knew she should probably just get back to work if she didn’t want to get her head bitten off in front of the customers, “what do you have against me? I’m just trying to make a living here, while I go to school a-and you’re—,” 

“Are you accusing me of something, Shuhua?” 

“W-Well, n-no… I-I’m just..” 

“This conversation is over, Shuhua. Back to work.”

Shuhua sighs, defeated. “Yes, sir.” 

Shuhua walks towards her next table, forcing a smile, and blinking her frustrations away. “Hi, I’m so sorry for the wait. What can I get started for you today—,” the customer drops the menu onto the table, and a familiar face softly smiles at her. 

“Hi, baby.” 

“S-Soojin, what—,” Shuhua turned back where she had left her boss standing, and was thankful he was too busy speaking to one of the customers at their table to notice Soojin’s presence. After Soojin’s chaotic encounter with her boss, Shuhua didn’t hear the end of it for the next few weeks. 

“What are you doing here?” Shuhua whispers sharply. 

“I came to see you,” Soojin reaches for Shuhua’s hand, staring at her longingly, “a-and I know you said we should give each other space, but it’s been two weeks, baby. I miss you.” 

“J-Jin…” Shuhua’s eyes softened at her girlfriend, eyes growing teary. Not only did Shuhua miss Soojin so much, seeing the older woman made her feel so emotionally relieved of all the stress that’s been weighing on her shoulders in the longest

two weeks of her life. 

“Y-You can’t be here, Soojin. My boss, he’ll—,” Shuhua turned around again to make sure her boss hasn’t seen Soojin yet, “he’ll cause a scene. He’s still upset with me about what happened between you two.” 

Soojin furrowed her eyebrows, “upset with you? You didn’t do anything wrong. I swea