The issue with Baek remains unresolved (read as: he is still alive and coming to work everyday) for way longer than Taehyung likes.

He doesn't only dislike it.He. Well.

He hates it.

Usually Taehyung is all about giving second chances and stuff but this guy ed up one too many times in his very humble opinion.

Jeongguk is not exactly a big help of reigning in Taehyung's distaste either, with what how the both of them have developed into hot-headed spitfires whenever it comes to Baek. Their absolute favourite co-worker. Top of the bottom of the list.

'He is such an ,' Jeongguk taps on Taehyung's thigh during their end-of-month meeting. And dude, Taehyung couldn't agree more.

It's infuriating, is what it is. Listening to Baek and his goons go on about how to best lead the company to make it more successful. It gives him a massive headache. Everything Baek says sounds smart at first glance, rude at second because he is not so subtly undermining their boss, and full-on stupid at third glance. If one just takes a moment to think about what's coming out of the boomer's mouth and turn it over in their head, it's so obvious he's been googling the stuff he says but hasn't understood it at all.

Taehyung clenches his hands to fists under the table. That nugget! 

He watches how Baek talks himself into a rage, his goons raising their voices too and banging fists on the table to underline their demands.

Taehyung snaps. Enough is enough, and his grandma didn't raise him to allow rudeness like that.

Slamming both hands flat on the table, he raises from his chair. It's sudden enough to startle Baek and co. into a short stupefied silence.

"Gentlemen, may I make a suggestion?" It's an effort to keep his voice calm, to not let the sarcasm seep into it at the word gentlemen. If there is one person who does not deserve to be called that, then it's Baek.

Baek, who, playing the role of a gracious host, nods at Taehyung to continue. It makes his blood boil just that bit more.

"Good. How about this: don't speak unless you're Namjoon-ssi."

Baek gapes.

Namjoon, from where he's silently clutched at his bonsai, gives Taehyung a grateful smile. Taehyung suspects their boss didn't cut off Baek and his vomit of stupidity yet because of some deal he had to make with Baek's lawyer. His hands were probably tied.

Too soon, Baek regains his composure - or well, at least his speaking ability - and points an accusing finger at Taehyung. Bad weeds grow tall. What's new.

"How dare- it's not like you could possibly understand the complex art of leading a business, you little - I mean, friend-"

Taehyung huffs.

"The fact that you seem to not see even one of the million holes in your horrid recital shows that you are as far from being a potentially good leader as one can get, Baek-ssi."

"As if your little sissy brain could ever hope to grasp the concepts I am relaying here, don't make me laugh!"

Taehyung's had it.

Next to him he faintly registers Jeongguk umping up and sneering a low "You are going too far". He places a hand on the younger's shoulder and gives a reassuring squeeze. It's cute how Jeongguk is willing to come to his rescue and he appreciates the gesture. But he can defend himself just fine. Will not allow  a piece of like Baek to talk to him like that.

"Oh, just listen to you," Taehyung shoots back. Ignores the shocked looks from all the other co-workers and the grim expression of their boss.

"Do you even realize what you're saying? Acting like a fine plunger here, bringing up old all the time. While you don't even realize just how much of a person with curbed performance you are. Doing a great job of being sharp as a marble. Congratulations to your lack of finesse, an open mind, and brains in general, Baek-ssi." He spits the last words across the table and watches them hit their mark.

Watches Baek struggling to fully comprehend in which ways Taehyung just insulted him, thus doing a great job of just corroborating his points. The other faces around the table are torn between amusement and anger. Anger at Baek and not himself, Taehyung can only hope. Because if he didn't know how fond the boss apparently is of him, he might have to fear for his job after this outburst just now.

Before Baek can spit back something, before the situation can escalate, Namjoon rises to his full height and claps his hands together.

"Alright everyone, I believe this is a good time to end the meeting. The important things have been cleared already and I no longer want to keep you from your lunch break or work, whichever you prefer. Let's do some good work today. That's all."

Baek and his little friends are still fuming and so is Taehyung. Jeongguk is not off that much better. They keep glaring at each other while they wait for the exit to clear. Taehyung and Jeongguk are closer at the door so as soon as there is no longer a huddle at the exit, they make a beeline for their office before Baek can say or do anything else.

Back in Taehyung's office, Jeongguk immediately starts pacing.

"He is such an ! Unbelievable. I don't understand how he ever got that position. ing head, I swear."

Funnily enough, seeing the younger lose his composure is what calms Taehyung down. With some deep controlled breaths he reigns in his annoyance and grounds himself. 

"Hey hey. Come here," he says with low timbre, stretches out both hands for Jeongguk from where he's taken a seat in his office chair.

Jeongguk grumbles some more but obligues, trudges over and after some hesitation plops down onto the older's lap.

"I just hate him so much." He scowls.

Taehyung a finger over the crease between his brows until it evens out. Nods. 

"I know, I know. Same. But if we keep ruining our day with hating on him, it doesn't help anybody. Worse, that is winning that way. And we can't have that, can we?"

Jeongguk shakes his head and slowly leans down, sinks into the loose embrace until he can press his nose into Taehyung's neck.

"Got so mad when he called you those things. Was one breath away from punching his stupid teeth out."

The words are solemn and quiet but sincere, a confession pressed into Taehyung's skin. The older revels in it, tucks the words away into his heart. Unconsciously tightens his hold.

"I know. Thank you."

Jeongguk hums against his neck, then starts pressing slow kisses there, on his shoulder, his collarbone, everywhere he can reach without ing Taehyung's shirt.

Namjoon almost finds them like that, comforting each other in a rather compromising position, were it not for Taehyung's keen ears.

"I am sorry this happened again," their boss says once he knocked and let himself in.

Taehyung nods, Jeongguk going tense where he's standing next to his chair and squeezing Taehyung's arm.

Namjoon gives them a crooked smile. 

"If it helps, after that outburst I now have a valid reason to have him leave forever. The whole paperwork will just take a couple more weeks and then hopefully something like this won't repeat itself."

"I understand," Taehyung says. And then, "Thank you."

Namjoon's smile grows a little soft, a little sad around the edges.

"Of course. I've already given him free reigns for way too long."

His eyes flit to Jeongguk, then back to Taehyung. "If there are any more problems, please don't hesitate to come to me. I'll always have an open ear for you."

Jeongguk lets go of Taehyung and goes over to their boss, pulling him into a hug. "Thanks, hyung."

And there it finally is, Kim Namjoon's infamous dimple smile. The one he only has when he's truly happy.

Shortly after, Namjoon excuses himself and leaves, Jeongguk trailing behind him to get back into his own office where there is another client's project awaiting him.

And Taehyung?

Taehyung decides it's time to make Baek pay at least a little more before he gets kicked out for good.

A plan begins to solidify in his head as he sits there and stares out of the window.

Few minutes later he gets out his phone and dials a number.

...

"What is it," crackles a familiar voice.

Taehyung grins.

"Hey, hyung. It's been a while..."

Thursday is best buddy's night, as Jimin declared upon ringing up a storm, shoving past an annoyed Taehyung into his flat and plopping down on the couch. With two bottles of what looks like vodka in his hands.

"Hello to you too, thanks for informing me of your visit, how lovely to have you here," Taehyung rolls his eyes.

Somewhere to his right, the bathroom door swings open and a groaning Jeongguk emerges, ruffling his hair.

"Tae? What's going on, we already ate."

Taehyung needs a moment too long to respond, busy swooning over an adorably confused Jeongguk.

It's enough time for Jimin to prop himself up, take one look at Jeongguk and groan.

"Ugh, of course he is here too," he laments in the same moment as the youngest lets out a high-pitched shriek. 

"The is he doing here!?"

Oh yeah, right. Jeongguk and Jimin are not really on best friend terms yet. Taehyung groans. This is gonna be a fun night.

A couple of sneers from Jimin's side and scowls from Jeongguk's later, the three of them find themselves on the couch, huddled together in the middle. Taehyung has a distinct feeling it would be better to sit with some space inbetween, considering the size of their egos but both Jimin and Jeongguk won't budge, one squished against his left side, the other against his right, glaring at each other across from him.

Great.

Trying to look anywhere but these two morons, Taehyung's gaze settles on the two bottles.

"You know I hate drinking," he deadpans.

Finally Jimin's glare turns into a smirk as he looks at his friend. "I know. That's what makes it so fun."

"Can't we go for a lighter beverage if we are forced into a drinking game already?"

"Stop being a ."

"You are literally uninvited. If we are to play, then I'll pick the drink."

He gets up and goes to the little cabinet. 

Jimin huffs. "You are no fun."

"And you got no jams," Taehyung says over his shoulder. Jeongguk snickers and earns himself a kick against his leg.

Once he turns around with a new bottle in hand, Jimin starts whining again.

"Oh c'mon, amaretto? That's so white girl."

"My flat, my rules."

Jimin pouts.

Three rounds in, Taehyung is very glad he insisted on something else than the vodka. His ears start to get warm and his fingertips are tingling.

"Alright Tae-Tae, truth or dare?"

Taehyung grins and leans back into the cushions. "Dare."

Jimin's answering grin is a little unsetting. 

"I dare you to fit fifteen marshmallows into your mouth."

Taehyung snorts.

"You are an idiot."

"And a coward. Do twenty," Jeongguk declares.

Taehyung splutters.

"Wha-why are you getting competitive, it's not even your turn?! Also aren<#t you supposed to defend me from stupid like that?"

Jeongguk just laughs and nuzzles into his neck. "Well now as we are boyfriends, we have to fight in the name of each other's honor too..."

"That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard."

"Aw babe, don't be like that."

To his left, Jimin makes a retching noise. "Ugh, can you not?"

They both ignore him, Taehyung attempting a menacing glare at the younger but probably failing miserably with how Jeongguk peers up at him from his shoulder, eyes big and innocent, lips lifting into a teasing smile. As if he could ever be mad at that look. Taehyung huffs.

"If I dislocate my jaw, it's your fault."

Jeongguk laughs again and pushes himself up. Leans down to Taehyung to kiss his pout away before sauntering to the kitchen, no doubt retrieving the marshmallows. Jimin squints after him.

"So he even knows the ins and outs of your kitchen at this point huh?"

Taehyung sighs. Here we go again.

"Chim, don't be like that. It's not my fault you barged into my home to a time when he is here too. Can't you at least try to act civil around him?"

Jimin blinks. "I am civil."

"Well, be more civil, then."

Jeongguk returns then with a pack of marshmallows, big fat smile stretched all over his face. Shoving Jimin away with one leg, he climbs into Taehyung' lap and straddles him, then rips open the pack. The playful glint in his eyes can't mean anything good. Taehyung gulps.

"Alright, open up for me. Here comes number one..."

Hesitantly, Taehyung opens his mouth and lets Jeongguk push in the first sugary goodness. God, he already regrets this.

"Hnnhngf"

"Come on, only three more."

"Hnnnnngn!"

"Don't be difficult now, say 'ah'~"

Taehyung's eyes are watering and there is a slow ache spreading in the whole lower half of his face. He tries to resist and turn his head away from the impending eighteenth marshmallow but Jeongguk's grip on his chin is like a vice.

Next to them, Jimin is bouncing up and down on the couch, clapping. "Yeah, push, push, push!"

Taehyung scowls at him.

He needs new friends.

"Alright, my turn," Jimin hiccups. "Never have I ever... almost starved my friend to death because I set him on a diet that consisted of oreos and nothing else."

Taehyung sighs, holding the ice pack against his indeed terribly aching jaw. "That was a one-time thing, okay..."

"Drink up, hoe."

He sighs again but does as told.

Next to him, Jeongguk is very quiet for a long while in which Taehyung already starts plotting his revenge on his best friend. Just when he's about to open his mouth, the younger snaps.

"You have what?!"

Kill me. Kill me now, I had a good run.

Jimin cackles at the miserable look he is no doubt sporting.

"Well, you see-"

"Jimin no."

"There was that one time-"

"Jimin!"

Jimin snickers and darts out of Taehyung's reach.

"...That one time Taehyungie snuck me into his room but then his dragon of a mother decided to spontaneously get very ill so I couldn't leave anymore-"

"Chim, can you stop."

Jimin just rolls his eyes. "Oh shut up, the story is hilarious okay? Anyway, where was I? He couldn't sneak me back out past his mum - who was paranoid and hated if he brought friends, especially if they were not born with a golden spoon - and it's been holidays so he didn't have a good excuse to leave the mansion either and his poor little seven-year's brain-"

"I was eight!"

"-his poor little eight year's brain could only think of sneaking loads of oreos from that one cabinet in the living room when the nanny was not looking. Said he couldn't go into the kitchen cuz the cook was scary. And that's the story of how I lived off oreos and nothing else for four days."

Taehyung whines and hides his face behind both hands. He can still feel Jeongguk's slightly awed stare on him. It's... a little jarring.

"Thanks for nothing, traitor." 

Jimin, that little pest, only cooes. "Aw, anytime Tae-Tae~"

"I hate you."

At some point they abandon any kind of game and just start talking nonsense, which opens up a whole new world of obscurities.

They are all sprawled over Taehyung's couch, the crown of Jeongguk's head pressing against his own, Taehyung mindlessly fiddling with the other's hair. He mentally shakes hands with his past self for getting this big nice semi-circle couch that can accomodate three grown-up men laying flat on their backs - or in Jimin's case on his belly, limbs spread out like a starfish.

"...and every year they let the kids dress up as whatever during the last training before Halloween and each time it gets weirder, okay?"

Taehyung hums. Stretches his unoccupied arm for where he can see out of the corner of his eyes Jeongguk's hanging down, fingertips grazing the floor. He reaches out his hand until it skims Jeongguk's, the younger immediately getting the message and lifting his hand for Taehyung to grasp, fingers naturally intertwining. Tahyung gives a little squeeze and Jeongguk squeezes right back, then continues his tale.

"And so on my way home I walk past that karate studio and it has those huge windows alright, so you can see everything that's going on inside. And so one year when I walked past and it was like one day til halloween, minding my own sweet business, I suddenly hear a muffled shout. And I turn around, just to see a tiny Kylo Ren getting his kicked by a taco and I swear it was the most surreal I've ever seen."

The following giggles have Taehyung's whole body shaking.

Jimin however stays suspiciously quiet.

Frowning, Taehyung points his foot and notches it against the other's head. A hand swats in the general direction of his foot, misses, and falls back down. Jimin turns his head and lets out a little snore.Taehyung huffs. First making all of them play drinking games and then being the first one to knock out.

Typical.

Jeongguk tugs at his hand and makes a questioning sound.

"Tae?"

"Jimin's dead," he annouces.

"Oh. Well. Then it's your turn."

"Huh. Okay. So do you know why I don't like swimming in the ocean?"

Jeongguk shakes his head, top of their heads rubbing together.

"Okay, well. Have you ever thought about how seaweed rubbing against you when you're swimming is like satan slowly caressing your legs and toes while smiling creepily at you and whispering 'mayonnaise'?"

There is a long pause in which Jeongguk digests what he just heard before he declares,

"...I feel so uncomfortable."

Taehyung nods. "Yeah, same. And that's why I don't swim in the ocean."

"...Huh."

Jeongguk and him miraculously make it to the bed before following Jimin into the land of dreams. Taehyung barely manages to put a light blanket over his friend before trudging to his bedroom, eyes nothing more than small slits and limbs uncoordinated and heavy. He flops down smack-dab on top of Jeongguk who already claimed the middle of the bed and is out like a light within seconds.

The alarm clock on the next morning sounds muted, as if hearing through cotton.

Once he manages to pry his eyes open, Taehyung takes one long look at Jeongguk and pouts.

No one looks good while sleeping, no one.

Except Jeon ing Jeongguk apparently.

Life isn't fair.

He flops back into the pillow, back turned towards his boyfriend and pretends he didn't just fall a little harder for him.

A few minutes later there is a dull thud in the living room, followed by a crash and some loud cursing. Taehyung thinks he hears Jimin yell that he's going to be late, "Thanks to you motherers who did not wake me up!" And oh. He blinks through the haze, slowly registering that his alarm is still going off.

Wait.

He bolts up.

!

They are going to be late for work.

Next to him, Jeongguk is about as lively as a rock. Taehyung takes a deep breath, sends a silent prayer to whoever can be bothered listening to his pleas, and leans over the younger. With his whole body strung taut, he extends a hand, pats over Jeongguk's clothed chest until he finds a bud and then squeezes. Instantly Jeongguk shoots upright with a shout, one arm swinging blindly against the attacker, fist connecting with Taehyung's chest and catapulting him out of the bed. 

Jeongguk clearly didn't miss arm day.

It takes the younger maybe ten seconds to realize what happened and then he's leaping out of the bed and crouching over a wheezing Taehyung who just looks up at him, gasps some more and dryly wishes him a good morning.

Jeongguk doesn't stop apologizing for the next five minutes.

He also doesn't stop pointing out that technically it's Taehyung's fault for attacking one of his most sensitive areas.

Jimin watches them with an unimpressed look from where he's fetched Taehyung's mixer and started throwing in random vegetables.

"You are both equally stupid," he declares.

Taehyung levels him a flat stare. Points at the entrance door.

"The door is that way, Jimin-ah."

Jimin huffs.

"Not before breakfast."

"It does, in fact, already exist before breakfast, and you are welcome to walk through and leave."

"No, no, it doesn't."

Yawning loudly, Jeongguk shuffles over to Taehyung until he's pressing his chest (broad chest. Broad, firm, warm, perfect chest. Don't- don't pop a , Kim the Taehyung) against Taehyung's back, propping his chin onto his left shoulder.

"Pretty sure out of the three of us he's the stupid one if he can't even see the door right next to him," he mumbles into Taehyung's ear and.

Oh my. His raspy yet slightly whiny morning voice is so attractive. Not fair, not fair at all! Taehyung bites his lips and resolutely looks away from Jeongguk. Keeps his burning face turned straight to the front, involuntarily locking eyes with Jimin instead.

Jimin gives him one long unimpressed stare.

"Really, Tae-Tae?"

He frowns.

"Hush. I'm not listening to someone who calls veggie massacre his breakfast."

Jeongguk snickers behind him and rocks both their bodies with the movement. 

Jimin throws a cocktail tomato at him.

Taehyung squeaks.

So, here is the thing.

Ever since that latest squabble between Baek and Taehyung, Namjoon implemented a break schedule for everyone directly involved. Assuring that Baek never has lunch during the same time as Taehyung and Jeongguk, minimizing the odds for them to run into each other.

And while Jeongguk has adorned one mighty pout upon hearing the news because 'that's not how freedom works', Taehyung thinks it's great.

Why?

Because it means they can spend their breaks in the break room and loudly about Baek the whole time without a worry. He says so and Jeongguk, after some consideration, reccons that maybe that tidbit of lost freedom is not all too bad afterall.

They start to purposefully spend their lunch breaks in the break room instead of going out like they used to, ordering something or taking their meals to go instead. Just so they can talk about Baek and welcome everyone in the office to join them.

Everytime Baekhyun joins them, it starts to get loud and rowdy pretty soon, the three hot-blooded young men working up each other in a fit in no time. It gets worse when Yugyeom joins in too.

And that's how it takes less than a week for Namjoon to ban them into their office rooms for lunch. Which is cool, Taehyung and Jeongguk still have each other to trash talk to. So that's what they do.

"head sent me a mail accusing me of stealing all his clients this morning," Taehyung says around a mouthful of pasta.

Jeongguk snorts. "Idiot. As if."

Stops chuckling as he sees the devilish little smirk spreading on Taehyung's face.

"Wait, you did?!"

Taehyung's smirk grows wider.

"Maybe~"

A disbelieving laugh bursts out of the younger. His eyes are big and sparkling as he watches Taehyung, hand coming up to cover his mouth where he is still laughing.

"Really? How?"

Taehyung leans back and makes a show of examining his finger nails. 

"Oh, you know... I have that good old friend of mine who loves to make other people's lifes miserable with hacking them or planting bugs here and there. Not the nicest guy to approach at first view, always running around with that piercing murder view of his, you can totally feel him radiate short people fury. Is actually a big fat softie though."

"And he agreed to do that for you because...?"

That's the point where Taehyung's voice turns less amused, hand clenching, nails digging into his palm before he relaxes again. 

"All I had to do was tell him Baek called me a . Yoongi is ruthless when it comes to head entitlement."

Jeongguk takes a moment to absorb the information, then nods.

"So what did he do exactly?"

The smirk makes a rerun on Taehyung's face.

"Bugged the 's computer in a way he'll never be able to fix, redirecting most of his clients directly to anybody who is not part of Team Baek. Poor guy can only sit and stare at his screen all day now. So sad..."

Jeongguk snickers. "Very sad indeed."

"Can't wait for the few weeks boss needs to get rid of him to be over. Good riddance."

The younger raises his water bottle. 

"Amen."

A/N: Pre-christmas shopping madness has begun and I can barely breathe between customers send help.