“She wanted you to know that if she had more time, she would use that to fight for you anyways.”

From that moment on, things move fast. It becomes all logistical. Calling the ambulance and Dr Cooper so they meet at the hospital for him to check on Chaewon one final time and officially pronounce her dead. Now he explains to them what the final moment with Chaewon meant while waiting for her body to be autopsied. ‘Terminal lucidity’ and ‘rallying before death’ are some of the terms Fred used to explain as scientifically as possible why Chaewon was able to behave fine out in the veranda - “the sudden burst of energy before death and the duration is random. I have heard of cases where it was a few days or a few hours.” Chaewon knew she couldn’t hold out much longer and that the end was there. She wanted no regrets left for her last time with Minjoo. Minjoo closes her eyes so she can picture Chaewon’s eyes again.

Then it is the arrangements for her body to be repatriated back to Korea. Flurry of movements, barely any time to sleep, they leave the house in New York quickly for a long flight back and a ticket less. It is tough for Eunbi to manage everything, much more with a seven year old who lost her aunt. Minjoo takes it on, behind the scenes for no expectation of anything but the sole wish to send Chaewon off properly. She hides in the corner of the funeral home with a face mask as Eunbi stands with Nako by Chaewon’s portrait in the front - smart looking Chaewon in her doctor’s white coat, her profile picture used for the last time. Nako seeks Minjoo out when the little girl’s will to stand before the many people who come to pay their respects maxes out; Nako finds solace with Minjoo because to the seven year old, Minjoo who hasn’t cried appears the strongest.

Minjoo hasn’t been able to find tears since that day. Eunbi has broken out into a few crying streaks when people who come and pay their respects tell her stories of them with her sister. Eunbi listens to them all. Not only because of her role as the chief mourner - the one person people turn to to express their condolences - but also because she genuinely craves anything related to Chaewon, even if it's stories of the past. The sign that Chaewon has touched the lives of many comes in their quantities: Chaewon’s colleagues, her team, Wonyoung and Fred clears his schedule to fly down from New York.

Chaeyeon too, comes to the funeral and stays with them everyday. The first day, Minjoo hugs her friend for so long as Chaeyeon cries, her t-shirt becomes wet while Minjoo remains unfazed the whole time - her tear glands remain a fortress. Chaeyeon helps a lot and especially for Minjoo when her members try hard to understand what has happened in their friend’s life. They know of Minjoo going to the States to be with Chaewon and their reunion, yet never once did they have an inkling of Chaewon’s condition. Minjoo understands their initial shock but she really believes they knew the essence of it - that she found someone she loves and she was in a relationship. Chaewon’s condition wasn’t hers to tell because while it was a big part of their relationship, it never changed anything when it came to Minjoo’s true feelings. So when her members come to pay their respect to someone important to their friend’s life and sadly they have never had the chance to meet, they grieve for Minjoo. That means a lot.

“Minjoo.”

She is a foot outside the room when Eunbi stops her.

“I am going to find the cleaners so they can tidy up now there’s lesser people.” It is nearing midnight and the last wave of people have come and gone on the last night here. Minjoo doesn’t want the area to be untidy so whoever remains can be comfortable. Minjoo is slightly confused when Eunbi instead of nodding and going back into the room, follows her out.

“Okay. I’ll walk with you.”

They head along the quiet corridor towards the cleaners’ standby area.

“I know it’s a question that is pretty much hard to answer but how are you holding up, Minjoo?” Eunbi looks concerned despite looking worn out herself. “You have been taking care of Nako and I so much and helping with everything, I can tell you haven’t let yourself rest.”

“I rest here and there, unnie.” Minjoo trails her eyes to the ground. “I want to help because it’s what I can do.” She stops because Eunbi suddenly holds her.

“I know we talked about it before coming back to Korea. About how you want for the better of everything, to remain behind the scenes so nobody knows about you but… Chae’s going to be cremated tomorrow.” Eunbi clenches her jaw, sad to even say it out. “Do you want anything? I don’t know, a moment with her before we put on this pretense that there are only two people, her older sister and her niece, that are most immediate to Chae.” Eunbi hates seeing how Minjoo is not able to grieve openly. She hates how both Minjoo and her are too aware of the implications but Eunbi still wants to give Minjoo anything she can because Minjoo has every right to - even if Eunbi is the only one that knows.

“I don’t know, unnie. Yeah… I’ll always want to see her.”

Eunbi squeezes Minjoo’s hand. “Minjoo. It’s okay. We’ll work something out tomorrow.” Eunbi has the most comforting expression that reflects the concern and worry and genuine want to protect Minjoo. It is more than knowing that Chaewon would want her to, Eunbi has these feelings because she has come to care for Minjoo too.

Eunbi reaches out into her pocket and she pulls out a small red box. Minjoo recognises the jewelry brand, Cartier, and is confused when Eunbi hands it to her. From her other pocket is an embossed Cartier envelope. “These are for you. It’s the perfect time for you to have it before tomorrow.”

The size of the box is hard for Minjoo to ignore what is potentially inside. Eunbi leaves a comforting rub on her arm. “I’ll call for the cleaners. Then I’ll see you later back inside?”

Minjoo nods robotically, eyes firmly on the items in her hands. She makes her way further down to the outdoor area where she knows will be empty at this time of the night. When she settles on the bench, she pulls off the mask she has on the entire day and first holds the tiny red box. Minjoo can’t help but take a deep breath. To know what they had talked about, to see such a box, to understand what Chaewon is like, Minjoo has many thoughts right now. Well, the answer is also in her hands.

She opens the box and surprise still catches her despite mentally preparing for it. A diamond ring sits in the center of the white cushion, glimmering unobstructedly in the dark night. Minjoo cups , not able to really process that Chaewon had bought a ring for her. It is so beautiful and Chaewon is not here to give it to her. She puts the box on her lap and picks up the envelope. Pulling out a card, the letter is short in a handwriting neater than Chaewon’s usual scribbles.

My Darling Minjoo,

I know you said you know me. That I am too much of a perfectionist. And I agreed. I want to give you the best and I’ll only do it when I know I can give the best. But I sense, I may not be able to hope for the best. That we may not have the time in the future where I can wobble on one knee and present you with a ring in my hands. So if you are reading this, it means I am right. Still, call me a try hard but after our conversation, I can’t help but want to give you a ring. I want to assure you it has no meaning at all unless you give it one. I want you to be able to do whatever you want with it. You can bury it with me if you choose to, you can wear it if you want to, you can keep it in your drawer. Anything. Because the ring is my last gift to you. At the very least, it’s for you to know it’s here, to give you the possibilities. To have a choice to make meaning of it however you want the ring to be.

All of that is here; it’s yours.

I love you Minjoo and I hope you like what I have chosen.

(otherwise blame it on my sister since she approved my choice too.)

Your love,

Chaewon

Minjoo lets out the breath she doesn’t realise she is holding onto. Chaewon has her surprise romantic gestures, she really outdone herself with a big bang. She left Minjoo with control to pick how Minjoo wants to make sense of Chaewon’s death and not simply accepting it as what it is. This ring exemplifies how much Chaewon cares for Minjoo, the care to protect her feelings even when she isn’t here anymore. Minjoo presses the letter to her chest and gazes at the ring on her lap.

Early the next day, Minjoo makes sure her face mask is put on properly as she follows the information in Eunbi’s message. Turning the corner, she sees Eunbi and Nako in her arms asleep. “Hey, I just seen her.” Eunbi talks softly. In an automatic action, Minjoo finds herself reaching out to make gentle pats on the sleeping girl’s back. Eunbi’s eyes immediately fall onto Minjoo’s hand before the younger woman is conscious about what she unintentionally revealed. When Minjoo realises, she looks up to meet Eunbi’s eyes and the older woman says nothing of it and only gives her a smile. Eunbi tilts her head towards the door. “Better go in soon. Otherwise we will be late for the cremation.” Minjoo is about to enter the room when Eunbi adds. “Oh Minjoo? Happy birthday. I am sorry things have to be this way.”

Things being Minjoo’s birthday falling on the day Chaewon is about to be cremated? Minjoo nods and really tries to muster a polite smile, even if Minjoo really can’t relate to the ‘happy’ with the birthday. She is grateful for Eunbi noting the day because today is as hard for her as it is for Minjoo. She closes the door behind her with her left hand that a diamond ring sits on.

Minjoo slowly approaches the coffin in the room. The funeral home has just prepared the body and the coffin for its moment before the cremation. Minjoo rests her hand on the glossy wood on the coffin box and she looks in to find the love of her life drained of real colors, falsely enhanced by makeup. Still she is Chaewon and Minjoo naturally smiles. “Hi unnie. I got what you gave me.” She glances at the diamond band on her ring finger before going back to Chaewon. “I do like it. You have chosen well. For once.” She chuckles, “but I can imagine Eunbi unnie nagging behind you during the choices.” Minjoo caresses the wood like she’s actually touching Chaewon. The wood is probably how Chaewon’s body would actually feel right now, cold and distant.

“I am not sure if you are seeing this but I want to show you the choice I’ve made. I am wearing the ring.” Using her other hand, she twists the ring slowly around her finger, feeling its perfect fit. “There’s no right or wrong in whatever I choose to do. Like you said, it’s the possibilities for what I can do with it. I probably will get questions about why a diamond ring sits on my ring finger on my left hand but I will take those questions because the meaning I choose to make of it matters more.”

“That even if you aren’t here anymore and we aren’t publicly together or legally binded, you are my partner. This ring is you for me.”

She sighs with a silly smile. “You surprise me every time but this, even if you would have never imagined being my birthday gift, you unintentionally made it so. Although I can’t imagine wishing for anything else, I know for the most part your want to be with me today is achieved.” She glances at the ring on her finger again. “You did best and I am thankful to be given it. It’s beautiful, Chae. Just like our love.” Minjoo leans and kisses the glass area where Chaewon’s face is shielded over. “And I will always love you. I’ll miss you.”

The funeral proceedings go as planned with Minjoo watching from far behind. Chaeyeon stays with her the whole time. The coffin turns into ashes and the ashes are housed in a biodegradable urn and buried under ground. Chaewon would have liked the natural burial they picked and it i