RUNNING

On Saturday morning, Eomma drive me, Yoona, and Stephanie to the mall to hunt for something to wear for the CJ E&M thing. Stephanie had already purchased the perfect little black dress weeks ago so she was there to help us get our glam on - and maybe hit the food court for lunch afterward.

"What do you think?" I asked, checking myself out in the three-way mirror.  The glossy black halter dress came to a flirty but chaste stop right above my knees, perfect for a Sacred Heart event.

And something a granny might wear. A hip granny with rockin' shoulders, but still. 

"It's pretty; you just don't look like you," she said.

"You should talk, where would you wear that?"

Stephanie was on tiptoe, pivoting to see the back view of a black miniskirt, a halter top, and creme blazer she was modeling.

"You don't think it's appropriate for the baby shower?"

"Have they changed the theme from tropical to S&M? Wait, that would probably be more fun for you," I laughed, doing a twirl of my own. Nope, still not me.

"No, Jisoo might . . . might," she said, knocking on the wall for luck, "actually make it into his tech group he interviewed for yesterday. Just trying the professional look on for size in case, you, we get to see them create their own company. Think he could handle my CEO persona?"

"The bigger question is, can you handle him handling your CEO persona? Because I think he'd handle it fine."

"Hmm, exactly what I was going for," she said, pivoting one last time, a sly grin crossing her face.

"Okay, how about this one," Yoona said, slinking out of the dressing room in a red cocktail dress with an A-line skirt.

"Im-Damn-Yoona - that is . . ."

"Stunning," Stephanie finished.

"No, come on, better than the white one?"

She stood before the mirror, lifting out the skirt a bit and then letting it swish back into place. The color complemented her milky skin and dark hair in a way that made her look lit-up. Not sure how she pulled it off, but she looked y and modest at the same time.

"The other one was nice, but this is, wow," I said, stepping back to take in the dress again.

"That's just it, I think it might be too special," she said turning to the side. "It's not like it's a high school prom or anything. Just a dance with someone I barely know."

"No, this is the dress that Changwook is going to see you in and forget why he's there with Jiwon," Stephanie said.

"Are you bummed that you're going with Kyungnam?" I asked.

She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. "No, I'm happy I'm going with him, I guess. He's cute, nice, can carry on a conversation, but he's well, I already know I don't want to, like, hook up with him, and shouldn't that be part of a dance? Shouldn't you want to kiss your date? I mean, if it happens, great, but I'm thinking more about Changwook. It doesn't feel right."

"You're putting too much importance on what things should be like," I said, popping back into my dressing room to try on my next choice - a golden halter white faux leather mini-dress with a lace fabric in the midsection. I fumbled with the zipper for a moment, then went back out to the mirror. (I missed Idol-Suzy days).

Stephanie clapped. "Now that is you."

"Absolutely." Yoona smiled.

"Yep, I think this is it," I said, twirling. The dress showed off my legs, which were seriously toned from months of crescent lunges and downward dogs. I pulled both Stephanie and Yoona next to me and we struck model poses. The saleslady breezed in to collect the clothes off the reject rack.

"How are you girls - Oooh, so pretty," she said. "What's the occasion?"

We stepped away from each other, giggling.

"Oh, um - CJ E&M Dance," I said.

"Fun. I have to say that red dress is lovely. Didn't seem like much on the hanger, but on you it's really smashing. Let me know if your girls need anything else." She darted out of the dressing room with clothes draped over her arm.

"See?" I said. "Even the saleslady thinks you look smashing."

"She's not exactly impartial." Yonna checked out the price tag near her armpit. "And hey, look, all of my birthday money and a month's worth of working for my mom just for what's pretty much a practice date."

"Okay, you've got to stop this - so what if you're not in love with this guy? We all can't be Stephanie and Jisoo."

They both gave me quizzical looks.

"Aren't you in love with Minho?" Yoona asked.

I laughed, but when neither of them joined in, I stopped.

"No, I'm not," I said. It felt strange to be declaring it out loud in front of a three-way mirror - endless images of me saying the same thing. "I mean, I like him a lot - we have fun and all, but do I think this is love? Hell-to-the-no, but I'm not hung up on it. Neither is he."

My little speech was met with an uncomfortable silence. Was it really so awful that I felt that way? Stephanie checked her out in the mirror again. Yoona looked at the floor.

"I just don't know if I can do that. Be all casual," she said.

"Omigod - lighten up. Consider it an experiment. You didn't ask the guy the marry you, it's a freaking dance in a college stadium. You're not going to wreck your love life with one awkward date. There are worse ways to spend a Friday night."

"She's right, Yoona. Kyungnam's hot and you guys seemed to hit it off that night at the movies. I like the experiment idea."

"Buy the dress. Kiss the wrong boy. Flirt your off."

Yoona face-palmed, but laughed. "Guys . . . ugh . . . okay. Yes. You're right."

"Success," Stephanie said, waving her hand in the air as she returned to her dressing room.

After our purchases, we wandered over to the food court to meet Eomma in front of Popping Boba. My stomach growled. A berry slush with tapioca pearls would not cut it. What I really wanted was a honking plate of chilli-cheese fries.

"Hey, you guys want to split fri-"

The words stopped as my eyes  landed on my mother.

Sitting in front of Popping Boba.

"Is that Haein? With your mother?" Stephanie asked.

"Yes."

Was it him? He looked different in jeans, although I guess it was ridiculous to think he'd be roaming the mall in yoga pants and his mat strapped to his back. He had a life outside of the yoga studio, of course. Damn, he wore it just as well. I could not for the life of me understand how my mother could compartmentalize Haein into yoga-information guy. There was a stack of books between them. My mother spoke using gestures that made her look like she was swirling the air around her.

"That's Hot Yogi?" Yoona asked.

"Are they on a date?"

"Nah," I said. "Eomma's thinking of becoming a yoga teacher - Haein is, like, her hot mentor."

Eomma spotted us and waved us over. She was glowing - no, really - the space around her was charged. Haein sat with one leg loosely crossed over the other, as if hanging with my mom was the way he spent every Saturday at the mall.

"Am I allowed to see the dress now?" she asked as we got closer.

"Hey," I said, folding the dress bag over the back of the chair. Stephanie and Yoona deposited their things next to mine. "Fancy seeing you here."

Haein laughed. "We bumped into each other in the bookstore."

"Yes, I was desperately lost in the self-help section when I realized the books I needed were somewhere else. He sort of saved me."

"Nice."

"Any change from the dress?" she asked.

"About 400,000 won. Oh, um, we were going to get some fries, is that okay? We've got time, right?" I asked.

"Sure."

"Want anything?" I looked between them.

"No, I'm on my way out," Haein said, but he still sat there, sipping his drink.

Stephanie, Yoona, and I walked over toward the food stands.

"That's cool your mom is going to be an instructor," Stephanie said.

"You think?"

"Yes - she's amazing in class. Didn't you see her doing mermaid last week? She just sits there, in the pose; I can't even get my foot to stay in the crook of my elbow that long, I'm always wobbling, and she's there totally chill, like she could sit that way for hours."

"No, I didn't notice," I said, looking back at them as we waited in line.

Haein finally got up and gave my mother's shoulder a pat before walking away. Nothing y about that - except the smile on my mother's face was . . . well, it was obvious that seeing him made her happy. She opened one of the books. He came toward us, looking more college student than guru with his messy hair and his messenger bag slung over his shoulder.

"See you next week," he said as he walked by us.

"Bye," Stephanie said as our heads turned to follow his exit. There was a slight scent that followed him - some citrusy, spicy cologne that enveloped us as he passed.

"I need to get to one of those classes," Yoona said. "He even smells good."

"I think that's just the fries," Stephanie said. "I'm seriously starved, can we get the animal style? You can have my share of the jalapeños."

"Yeah, sounds good," I said, looking back at Eomma.

She was still smiling.

✿ Secrets of Attraction ✿

Once at home, Eomma insisted I model my purchase for her and Jihoon. I tottered down the stairs, holding the bottom part of the dress up so I wouldn't trip to my death.

"Ready?" I called.

"Yep," eomma said.

"Okay, I'm turning the corner now." I reached the landing and pivoted toward the dining room, where eomma and Jihoon sat. Jihoo had his hands over his eyes. Eomma gasped.

"Soo . . . that's gorgeous," she said, getting up from her seat. Jihoon uncovered his eyes.

"Va-va-voom," he said, smiling. I shook my head at the corny compliment, but it did feel kind of good. It was a great dress. And I happened to rock it pretty hard.

Eomma grabbed my hands and held them out to the side to get a better view. "You sure Sister Theresa is going to let you get away with so much skin?"

"It's not that bad, is it?"

"I'm just teasing. You look lovely." She put her hands on each cheek, played with the ends of my hair, pulling some strands toward my face. I knew my hair was in desperate need of serious shaping. It was starting to look shaggy instead of flawless.

"We should lighten up the color before next Friday. Were you thinking of going bangless or get bangs?"

"I can't decide - maybe bangless? And I was thinking of your gold glittery blazer, fishnets, and my white heel boots. Lighter makeup - bright-red lip, maybe?"

"I love it," she said.

"You two are speaking a different language," Jihoon said, standing next to Eomma. He did a quick once-over and shook his head. "Our little Soo is all grown up."

Eomma looked at him, and a faint smile crossed her face, then she took my cheeks in her hands again, tilted her head to the side.

"My beautiful girl," she said. "You guys are stopping here for pictures, right?"

"I guess," I said, pulling away. For some reason the moment was overwhelming - the way eomma looked at me. What Jihoon said. I liked it, the little rush of happiness I felt when he said Our little Soo, but I wasn't sure why. It all felt familiar. And comforting.

"I'm gonna get changed. Are we ordering for dinner?"

"Order out? No way, shrimp scampi is on the menu tonight - will you be joining us?" Jihoon asked.

"Sounds good," I said, heading back up to my room.

It was nice having Jihoon in the house. Eomma seemed lighter, mellower around him. And I'm certainly appreciated the home-cooked meals, even liked hearing him whistle songs as he worked in the kitchen. But why didn't eomma smile at him the way she smiled at Haein this afternoon? Was Jihoon too boxed up in the friend compartment for her to ever consider he could be more? It was hard to believe that in all the years they'd been friends, they never once looked at each other that way. I mean, Jihoon was kind of dashing, for an older guy.

My wheels turned.

If I didn't join them for dinner, they'd be alone.

And if they were alone . . . shrimp scampi, bottle of wine . . .

What if the reason Jihoon wanted to call our home as home was Eomma? Maybe that was the bigger reason he was here - even if he didn't know it yet. They could use a nudge in the right direction.

I called Stephanie. She picked up on the third ring.

"Hey, can I still come over tonight?"

"Yes, please, I only have to put a bazillion mint lentils into these little starfish-shaped boxes for the baby shower. Want to help?"

I wasn't sure what a mint lentil was, but if it got me out of the house for a while . . .

"Can we order pizza?"

She laughed. "Yeah."

"I'm in, see you soon." I hung up. I grabbed my coat and went down to the kitchen. Eomma sat at the table, a glass of wine in front of her as she helped Jihoon devein the shrimp. They were laughing about something as I walked in.

"Hey, you know what, I forgot I told Stephanie I was going to help her with something, so I'm going to have to bail on the shrimp. Is that okay?"

"Yes - do you need a ride?" Eomma asked, probably desperate to stop working with shrimp guts. Eomma, knives, and the kitchen were not a happy combination. The fact that she was even doing this with Jihoon, well, spoke volumes. At least I thought so.

"No, I should walk off those fries from before."

"You don't know what you're missing," Jihoon said as I went out the front door.

Funny . . . I could say the same thing.