Two Words

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"What's up?"

Juhoon smiled as he walked into the kitchen. He'd decided to stay with us until he found a place of his own, but his schedule with the corporate-jet gig had been pretty full. We hadn't had the chance to talk except to say, "We should really talk," since eomma had broken the news. Part of me was really okay with that. I wasn't sure how to act around him, which made me even more self-conscious because I'd never had to think about acting a certain way around him.

"Hey, I, um, didn't expect to see you," I said as he placed the bags on the counter.

"The flight I was scheduled for got canceled."

Juhoon looked over my shoulder at Joohyuk. "Hair? In the kitchen?"

"Eomma doesn't really use the kitchen to cook when you're not here," I said, chuckling. "This is my friend Joohyuk. He's a developer and he's also going to produce songs, so I'm giving him a new look."

I picked up the whisk and resumed mixing the dye.

Juhoon put out his hand in greeting. Joohyuk wrestled his from underneath the plastic cape and gave him a hearty shake.

"This is Juhoon," I said, "he's a . . ." I stumbled - the word father would not come out.

"A friend of the family," Juhoon finished. "I wa going to make my vegetarian stir-fry, but I see you're busy."

"We should be done here in about half an hour. I can dry him upstairs, if that's okay with you."

Juhoon nodded. He didn't know the no-boys-on-the-second-floor rule, but since it was a special situation, I didn't feel like I was taking advantage. And it's not like I was going to be doing anything else but drying Joohyuk's hair.

"Uh, yeah, sure, that's great." He unpacked the groceries - mostly veggies - and put them on the top shelf of the fridge, then grabbed an apple. "I'll put out of your hair in a minute - ha, hair."

I shook my head.

"It's Seonmi's late night, right?"

"Yep," I said, pulling on latex gloves with a snap. I wiggled my fingers maniacally at Joohyuk. He had a wide, curvy mouth that stretched into an adorable smile. It transformed him from broody to hot in two second flat.

"I'm not going to regret this, am I?" he asked.

"Nope, especially not when the Gangnam girls swoon."

"Hey, you guys mind if I turn on some music?" Juhoon asked, flipping through the mail on the counter. He grabbed today's newspaper and put it under his arm. "I'll just hang in the dining room until you're done."

"Go ahead."

Moments later Juhoon's favorite song was playing in the dining room, singing along the song in between loud, crunchy bites of his Granny Smith. It wasn't a particularly romantic song but it took on new meaning to me every time I heard the chorus. Did it mean anything to Juhoon when he heard it? Did he think about winning at craps, a night with eomma? Ick. My cheeks grew warm. With Joohyuk into his thing, I was sure listening to this must have been romancey to him.

"Sorry for the, um, oldies," I said, working the dye into his hair.

"It's fine, he's cool. My dad listens to these type of songs all the time."

He smiled again. It was a smile I could trust.

"Mine too," I whispered.

✿ Secrets of Attraction ✿

"Joohyuk, omo, you have the patience of a two-year-old - sit still," I said.

We'd moved up to my bathroom to let Juhoon begin his culinary genius while I dried Joohyuk's hair. I'd made him sit on my fuzzy white toilet cover, facing the tub so he couldn't look in the mirror. He kept squirming, trying to sneak a peek. I wanted the look to be complete before the final reveal. It came out pretty hot, if I did say so myself. His dazzling eyes stood out in contrast to his lighter hair. I'd shaped his bangs to curled inward. He would be irresistible onstage.

"You know I pretty much run a towel across my head, no muss, no fuss."

"Even when you're on stage?"

"Yep."

"No mousse, gel?"

"No and no. Just falls flat in my face after two minutes of playing, anyway."

"Well, you might want to change that; I can recommend something," I said, turning off the hair dryer.

"I'm playing a bar in Gangnam, not Itaewon."

"You gotta start somewhere. Okay, get up," I said, covering his eyes with my hands.

"Is this really necessary," he said, rising up. He was tall and lean and deceptively muscular, not in a Minho way, but still, in a way.

My head reached a good two inches below his chin, and I had to stand on tiptoe to keep my hands over his eyes, my body brushing his back. We shuffled so we both faced forward. For a split second, I regretted that I hadn't cleaned my vanity and felt a wave of embarrassment at the sheer amount of product that littered it - the blob of dried toothpaste on the edge of the sink, an open tube of liquid base makeup, an over-sized can of hairspray, the Hello Kitty get cling that had been stuck to my mirror since I was eight years old. Then I remembered his smile. even if he thought it was messy, I didn't think he'd care.

"Okay, one, two, three." I slid my hands off his eyes.

He clamped his hands over his mouth as he stared at his reflection.

"Holy ," he said.

"Is that good?"

He whistled and moved his head from side to side to check out each angle.

"Holeeey ," he said again, louder. "Subin is going to be relentless."

"You don't like it?"

"No," he laughed, "I mean, yeah, I like it, just have to get used to it."

"I think it looks great."

We stood side by side, looking at each other in the mirror. I still couldn't believe he let me talk him into doing his hair. I'm not sure what had possessed me to ask, either. I only knew I'd wanted him to hang out with me longer than saying, "I like this logo, see ya." He bent down a little bit, putting his head next to mine.

"We look good now."

"Now?"

We stayed cheek to cheek for a long moment, like we were sitting in a photobooth about to get our pictures taken. That's when it came into focus - we looked really good together. My heart surged hot with the realization. Had he put two and two together at all - that I could have easily sent him the logo files in an email? That there was no real need for us to get together other than I simply wanted to see him outside of ordering a hot drink?

Ever since I'd cropped that photo, I'd built up some imagined personal history of Joohyuk. I kept working on the sketch, refining his features. What would he do if he knew I was drawing a picture of him? It made me wonder about him, how he spent his time other than making coffee and practice. Did he have any siblings? Did he have a girlfriend.

"Anyone hungry?" Juhoon called up the stairs.

"Ah, be right down." I stepped away from Joohyuk, occupied myself with unplugging the hair dryer and rolling up the cord. He slid his hands into his back pockets.

"Um, let me put those files on a flash drive for you, that way you can do what you want." I stowed the dryer away, stood up to face him. There was another beat where he didn't move, looked like he wanted to say something, but then he shifted, and I walked past him to the door.

"Yeah, cool, I'll show them to the guys," he said, thumping down the stairs behind me. "I'll let you know which one we go with."

Juhoon was at the dining room table, plate of steaming veggies and the newspaper spread out in front of him. My laptop was opened to the logos. I grabbed my extra flash drive and plugged it into the computer.

Juhoon looked up. "Wow, interesting."

Joohyuk ran a hand over his hair and grinned. "Yeah, I like it."

"He's going to be famous, Juhoon, has to look the part."

"Really?"

"Nah, just a developer and producer, behind-the-scenes type of guy."

"What sort music style you go for?"

They spoke about their musical likes, and dislikes as the files downloaded, strangely enough finding some common ground with Rain and Sam Smith. Joohyul looked so animated when he told Juhoon about playing at 2STO in Gangnam. I knew I'd said I'd think about going to see him, but hearing him talk about it again made me want to be there even more. The night bar could be a problem as I get super drunk, but I figured Jisoo was in the team, Stephanie would definitely be going too, drinking or not. We'd put our heads together and figure something out.

"You sure you don't want any stir-fry? There's plenty," Juhoon said.

"No thanks, I have to get going," Joohyuk said, grabbing his jacket.

I handed him the flash drive. "I'll walk you out."

Juhoon raised his eyebrows in approval of me. I shook my head and threw my jacket over my shoulders, ushering Joohyuk out the door and onto the porch.

"You don't have to walk me out, it's cold," he said.

"I'm fine. You sure you like your hair? Because if for any-"

"It's great. Only I think I missing getting a root beer lollipop from Phoenix."

"Well, no lollipops here, only stir-fry."

He laughed and juggled the flash drive in his palm.

"Suzy, are you sure I don't owe you anything for this? This is a lot, the hair, the logo. I just -"

"No, really, I was happy to do it, and the hair was a bonus. It's what friends do, right?"

"Yeah, but maybe I'll have to throw a couple of free americanos your way."

"Now you have me figured out."

We laughed, our breath disappearing in cold, white wisps. Joohyuk's eyes were on mine, intent. He chuckled, shrugged his shoulders to his ears, and all at once something shifted - I had the feeling he was thinking of kissing me because I was thinking of kissing him, how easy it would be just to reach up and brush my mouth across his. The moment passed, and he took a step back.

"Thank you," he said. "I guess I'll see you at Soop."

"See ya," I said, waiting until he got to the foot of the stairs to go inside.

I was about to head upstairs, but stopped short. Something in the way Juhoon was just sitting alone in the dining room nagged at me. This was the first time we were together without Eomma in the house. I went out to the kitchen and grabbed a small bowl of stir-fry, then took a seat at the dining room table. A happier, more upbeat song played in the background.

"Seems like a nice kid," he said, turning a page of his newspaper. "I like him better than he shirtless guy, that one seemed like, what do you say, a player?"

I nearly choked on my rice. "Minho? He's not a player. He plays soccer, but that's about it."

"Is Minho your boyfriend?"

"Um, maybe we can talk about something other than my love life?"

"Awkward?" he finished.

"Yeah," I said.

"What should we talk about?"

"Maybe how weird it is to think about the things we should talk about?"

"Suzy, I'm trying here. I mean, I'm still me and you're still you, we've never had trouble talking before."

He was right.

"Okay, tell me something a father would tell his kid," I said.

"That seems deep. Like what?"

"Favorite color?"

"Green."

"Lime green or neon? There's a lot of different shades."

"Forest green."

"Okay, there's a start."

"What is it that you like about art?" he asked me.

"That's a complex one," I said.

"Not really."

"I love creating something where there was nothing before. A sketch, a design on my hand. Who knows, someday a building, maybe?"

"Is that why you want to go to the design program?"

"You know about that?"

"Your mother told me about your summer plans. Where are you applying again?

They'd talked about me? I wondered if it had been before or after.

"Seoul Design Institute - it's a two week thing. You study all different areas but the focus is on architecture and building up your portfolio. They have dorms, and field trips. I'm applying for a scholarship.

"I'd like to help."

At first I didn't understand what he meant. Help how? Drive me there? Then I realized he was talking about money. The funny thing was, if Juhoon had told me two weeks ago that he wanted to help, I would have been thrilled. Now I wondered if there was more to it. Did he feel like he had to help me? Or did he want to help me?

"You don't have to do that."

He took his time folding the paper, then tucked it next to his empty plate and sat back in his chair, arms folded.

"I want to do it, Suzy. You're talented. Your sketches -"

"You've seen my sketchpad?"

"It was on the dining room table. I may have peeked. I'm sorry if I wasn't supposed to."

"No, no, that's okay," I said.

"Look, I have the money, and even if you weren't my daughter, I'd want to do this. If you have a hard time thinking of me as your father, think of me as, let's say a benefactor. Someone who wants to see you succeed."

Benefactor sounded stranger than father.

"Why didn't you say something sooner?"

Yoona had convinced Stephanie and me to go on a slow run with her. I'd thought it would a great time to tell him about my father news and it mostly was, except for the small problem of nothing able to form words. Yoona sounded like she could have belted out a power anthem while Stephanie and I were chugging air. We were also on recon to casually run (or pass out) by Changwook's university. Sweaty, gross, and looking like someone had slapped my face several times was not the way I usually wanted to look in the presence of his university boys, but for Yoona I made an exception.

"Wow . . . that's . . . a . . . to . . . tal . . . mind . . . ," Stephanie said between gasps for air.

I wanted to say, YES! Mind is the perfect word! But one word was all I could manage.

"Yup."

"How are you handling it?"

I shrugged.

"I just can't believe you didn't tell us this before." Yoona didn't miss a beat, her bright purple sneakers barely making a sound as she jogged gracefully along the tree-lined trail. I stopped short, but my hands on my knees and my head down, trying to get my breathing back to normal.

"If you want the story . . .," I said, "then . . . how about . . . slow walk?"

"YES," Stephanie said, stopping too.

Yoona kept going until she realized we weren't with her, then jogged back with a smile.

"Aish, guys, the end of the year dance is, like, two months away. I thought we were going to keep each other motivated."

"I'll eat fewer peanut butter cups," Stephanie said.

"Same," I said.

Yoona stood there, hands on her hips, and waited for us to catch our breath, then we continued to walk as I told them about Juhoon. How I found out the morning after the dance. That I'd wanted to tell them about him but couldn't find the right time. What eomma said about his favorite song. how Juhoon wanted to be my benefactor.

"Wow, Soo. I looked at my sister, and how much support she has around her - Junior isn't even here and I'm lined up for babysitting this summer. I can't imagine unnie doing it all on her own. That must have been tough."

"I know, but still - why keep it from me all this time? I don't know if that's something I can get past. One minute everything's okay and I think I have handle on it, then I get pissed about it again. She kept saying that Juhoon was different, that he might not have wanted to support her. I can't imagine that - he seems pretty generous now."

"You need to think about it differently. I mean, he's your father, he should give you some financial support - especially if he wants to," Yoona said.

"The benefactor thing seems weird - but it might be nice to just sit back and enjoy the free ride. It'd be crazy not to, right?"

Even as the words came out of my mouth it felt like I was trying too hard to talk myself into it. Eomma always stressed the importance of being independent. She lived it. Even if it seemed like it was to a fault at the moment.

When we got closer to the fields, Yoona motioned for us to stop.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do," she said. "Once we hit rock bottom of the hill, we'll start jogging - there's some bleachers next to the practice field and we can stop and stretch there. And then maybe I'll just kind of wave. How's that?"

"Not obvious at all." I said. Stephanie laughed.

We started jogging according to plan. Thankfully the beachlers were less than a quarter mile away; anything more than that and my face might have exploded. As it was, Stephanie and I were panting.

"Is it just me, or does this feel really scripted?" I asked, reaching my arm up over my head and doing a side-bend. "Kind of like a soft-core film about sweaty lax boys."

"Soo, please," Yoona said.

Stephanie switched legs. "Oh, sweaty lax boys, can you help me? I just need a little assist from behind."

"I'' hold your stick for you," I stretched my quad.

"What the hell. Would you two stop?"

"All the oxygen we're huffing must be getting to us."

"Heads up!" someone yelled from the field. Yoona ducked as something whizzed by her head and ricocheted off the top step of the bleachers. The ball fell to the ground below.

"And this is how it starts. Cue the y music."

"Bow-chicka-wow-wow," Stephanie sand as she put one leg up on the bleachers and grabbed the hold of the tip of her sneaker.

I deepened my voice, giving it a southern dialect. "Would you be so kind as to pick up my ball, Yoona?"

"Omooooo, just grow up," Yoona said, but there was laughter in her voice.

One of the players walked over, lifted his helmet, and smiled.

"Thought that was you," he said. Changwook. "Did you see where the ball went?"

Stephanie and I burst into a fit of giggles. Changwook looked at us, confused.

"Yeah, I'll get it," Yoona siad, crouching to get under the bleachers. She was trying to keep a straight face and wouldn't look at either of us. Stephanie's face was purple from silent laughter. Yoona walked to Changwook and tossed the ball over the fence to him.

"Feel like going for a run after this?" he asked her.

"Looks like you're getting a workout now."

"Yep, but I could use a run to unwind after this," he said.

"Yes, please, these two can't keep up with me."

"Cool," Changwook said, backing away from the fence and then turning to trot out to the rest of the boys who were still playing. Yoona could have heated up with a whole galaxy with the smile on her face.

"A guy who takes a run to relax? Guess you've met your Prince Charming, Yoona."

"So we can we stop pretending to stretch?"

"Ooh, but you're quite flexible, Steph," I said.

"Thanks to Haein and his assists," she said.

"Hey, so I was thinking - you know how Jisoo's team is going to play out at that place in Gangnam?" Yoona asked.

"I'd hardly call it Jisoo's team - I mean, he's the newest member. It's really Joohyuk's team," I said. Both Stephanie and Yoona puzzled at my quick defense. "What? It's the truth?"

"Anywho," Yoona continued, "I was thinking of asking Changwook to go. That's a good idea, right? And this way if he says no, it's not like I'll be crushed because I'll still go with you guys, but if he says yes, then it can be our first official sort-of date."

"That sounds perfect. Is Minho coming, Soo?"

I hadn't told them about the L word yet, mostly because I was trying to forget about it myself. Avoidance had become my new pastime.

"Maybe. Live music isn't really his thing. Hey, but how are we going to get there?" I asked.

Stephanie smiled. "No worries. Jisoo's got that covered. He knows a guy."