SUNSET

Okay, I figured I should just stick to one activity for Joohyuk. Music-producing. I'll probably edit  when the story is over. . . maybe. Sorry if this triggers anyone!

✿ Secrets of Attraction ✿

I couldn't remember the drive home. All I could think of was her face, the way she looked up at me, the gentle curve of her jawline. All I could hear was that beat from the morning when I first woke up - the one that went through my brain when I thought about being alone with her in the meadow. I thought about the stars, the heat of when we kissed. Fragments coming together. And then words . . .

You're the coffee that I need in the morning.

I was writing a song, without even realizing it. My fingers burned to bring the sound to life.

When I got home, the house was quiet. My parents were parked in front of the TV watching a kdrama where youths are starting a startup business. I leaned over the top of the couch to say hello, but they were both sound asleep with Joon's baby monitor on the end table next to them. I backed away quietly and went upstairs. There was a sliver of light coming from Josie's room. I poked my head in.

"Hey, I'm home," I said.

She looked up from her book. "Yeah, so."

I laughed; her enthusiasm killed me. "Night, Josie."

I flicked on the light in my room and closed the door behind me. My acoustic sat in its stand, abandoned since Sungkyung-Hyoseop. I took off my hoodie, grabbed the guitar, and sat on the edge of my bed. All went silent in my brain. I put down the guitar. Grabbed my phone. Send a few texts to Suzy, hoping some interaction would inspire me. Nothing.

I called and left a voicemail.

She'd probably changed her mind about having tea with her mother. Her phone could be dead. 

Or possibly you should calm the down  and stop acting like a drooling love zombie.

I picked up my laptop and opened the musical software, wishing I were one of those divinely inspired musicians who could come up with a song in an hour. I placed my laptop beside me and picked up the guitar again; the guitar had fallen out of tune. It took a few seconds to hit that sweet sound, but when it got there, I started strumming, trying to pin down the melody in my head.

It's the sunrise; and those brown eyes, yes.

Another line. I grabbed my song notebook from my desk, opened to a fresh page.

There was a knock on the door.

"Yeah?"

Eomeoni stood in the doorway, her eyes darting across the bas-relief my dirty clothes formed across the floor. "Hyuk - this room."

"Oh, sorry, I'll clean it. Did I wake you?"

She came in and sat on the foot of the bed. "Nah. I thought I heard Joon stirring. How did I miss you come in?"

"You guys were sleeping, I didn't want to bother you. Must have been some drama," I said.

"Your father picked that out. Anytime I get a momento to sit still, I end up falling asleep these days. Tax season, ugh. I wanted to make sure you got in okay."

"Yep, I'm in."

She nodded, looked around the room again. "So . . . are you going to tell me about the weekend went? Or am I just going to have to get the tea from Aunt Lia?"

I laughed and strummed.

"Like you haven't already."

"You know me, yes, we talked, but it's only because you're so tight-lipped."

"Suzy liked it, a lot."

"And I heard you guys took a little moonlight stroll."

Aunt Lia. Nothing was sacred.

"See, I don't need to tell you anything. Did Aunt Lia say anything else?"

"Only that it was nice to see you happy. She thought you and Suzy made a very cute couple."

"We're not a couple, yet," I said, not even sure what I meant. I knew that I needed to take things at a glacial pace, but my heart had other ideas.

She saw my notebook and smiled. "Writing again too, I see."

"Trying to."

"It'll come. Don't try so hard, sometimes the best stuff pops up when you're unfocused." She stood up.

Musical wisdom was usually Abeoji's forte - hearing this from her made me think of what Jasper said that night at 2STO.

"Eomeoni."

"Eo?" She paused at the door. I tried to picture her as this long-haired girl from the photo in Jasper's office. Eomeoni, so straight-laced and organized, who could spend hours poring over tax returns and find it a challenge, didn't exactly strike me as a singer, backup or otherwise.

"Why didn't you ever tell me you sang with Abeoji's band?"

She laughed, leaned against the doorjamb. "Who told you that?"

"Jasper. The picture in his office."

"That's another life, Joohyuk. Wow. God, Jas used to play some real awful places, and whenever my friends weren't around, I'd sing backup to avoid getting hit on."

"And you never thought to do it more?"

"I could carry a tune, but it really wasn't my thing. Jasper's the one who wanted me to take it more seriously, there were some clubs he wanted to play where it was a plus to have a girl in a band. I went to one of his voice lessons with him - the one we were talking about with the voice coach who said 'If you're gonna blow it, blow it big' - and I couldn't stop laughing. Kind of pissed him off - so that was my short-lived singing career."

"Was Abeoji there too?"

Eomeoni looked up, chewed on the side of her lip before speaking. "I knew Jasper before your father, Hyuk. Jasper's band was together for a year before your father joined."

I'd only assumed in the band stories that abeoji told that Eomeoni was always - well, I knew that's how they met but . . . the picture from Jasper's office came to my mind.

Holy .

"Eomeoni, what are you saying?"

She actually giggled and waved her hand at me.

"I can be tight-lipped too, Hyuk. Good night. Keep it down. And make sure you pick up this room at some point this week."

"Good night, Eomeoni."

I strummed the guitar again, playing around, letting the words collide in my brain. I picked up the pen and scribbled a few more lines.

Then it hit me.

Abeoji was freaking Hyoseop.

"Must have been one hell of a weekend if you were inspired to write a song, but I don't see how we can make it sound good by Saturday, especially if you're still working on the lyrics." Subin plucked at his keyboard. We'd been practicing for just about an hour at Lot 23 and still couldn't get the song to get the way I wanted it to.

"Min Yoongi wrote 'Daechwita' in a night," Jisoo said.

"Dude, thanks, but I'm not Min Yoongi."

"Just saying, it's not impossible."

"And I'm saying it is impossible, if we want to win the battle. And I don't want to just win, I want to crush Eunwoo," Subin said, playing the keyboard chords and grinning.

I wanted to win the battle and crush Eunwoo too, and an original song would give us an edge. There was more to it, of course. Whether I'd admit it to the guys or not, the song was for Suzy. The few words I had seemed so ordinary and disconnected that I was close to scrapping the whole thing. You're the coffee that I need in the morning . . . . What did that even mean?

"We know Astro is going to do an original, so-"

"Don't bring that up. You're the one who gave our song to Hyoseop, Hyuk," Subin said.

"And I'm trying to make up for it with something better. Just take it from the bridge." We started again, but it sounded pretty much like three dudes making noise. Jisoo went off a bit on the drums and stopped. What had sounded amazing in my head and on my guitar was not translating. It was so damn frustrating.

"Sorry, start again," he said.

"No, you guys are right. Let's just run through the set we did at 2STO, and I'll work on the song later. Maybe if it comes down to it, I can just do it solo on the guitar for the battle and we can have it finished for when we play out in May."

"We can't win if you do the song on your own," Subin said.

I thought for a minute he might be screwing around, but his face was serious.

"What?" I asked.

"It's in the rules. Every person in the band needs to play or you're disqualified. Unless you're a solo act, of course, and you're not, so, we all need to play if we want to win."

"That's a stupid rule."

"Yeah, well, Eunwoo's neighbor probably made it up."

I didn't like giving in so easily, but I let it go for the moment. We concentrated on playing the set we'd done at 2STO once through. We'd really gotten it down, so comfortable we were able to riff off one another. It felt good to get lost in the music, to not think about life outside the rehearsal space for a little while, because no matter how incredible the weekend had been something didn't feel right.

Suzy had not returned my calls - even though I told her she could call at any time. I'd texted again before school - to make sure things were cool with her mom - and she just texted:

yes.

That's it.

Not: Yes, Jjwogi.

Or: Yes, amazing person who inspires me to draw pictures.

There weren't even any silly emojis.

She didn't owe me a sort of explanation, but she'd said she didn't want the weekend to end, didn't she? That seemed pretty straightforward. Enthusiastic. My mind flipped through the entire weekend, the tour of the house, sitting by the fire, the ride home, everything had been perfect. A glimpse of what we could be. Or at least it felt that way to me. What if things had been too perfect, like we'd created some small space in time that was ours only, and now, back in reality, it couldn't stand up? Maybe I wanted too much at once. Maybe I was freaking her the out with overtexting.

"Again?" Subin asked when we finished the set.

"Nah, have to meet up with Steph, practice tomorrow, right?" Jisoo said.

"Tomorrow."

We loaded up the equipment in our cars and headed out. Subin and I grabbed a quick bite at Subway before I drove him home. I knew better than to allow Bin in my car with food. He spread out in the front seat, reclining it a bit, leaning back with his hands clasped behind his head.

"So, are you and Suzy, like, a thing now?"

I shrugged.

"Because I know the real real reason you want to do that song."

"Subin, don't start." I turned to his street.

"Hyuk, we're finally at a place where we're decent again, probably better than that, I don't want to see you get all wrapped up and moody over a girl. Been there, done that, running out of vodka. She's great and all - so are her friends - but I don't know, you don't have to it get to you."

"What are you talking about?"

"When you do something, you do it a hundred and ten percent, and I think maybe it's the band's turn to get that. Be with her, have fun, but dude, don't, like, cut her name into your arm or anything. I'm not up for the fallout."

"There won't be any fallout, Bin. I know how to keep it light."

I couldn't argue with him about that.

"Hey, so what do you think about Yoona?" Bin asked.

"What about her?"

"We hit off that night at the bar. She's cute. Funny. Obviously  has a hidden wild side. Stephanie mentioned she was into movies, so I thought, maybe we could, you know, all go out or something. After we crush the competition; we need to keep focus, of course."

I laughed. "But wait, Subin, what about giving a hundred and ten percent to the band?"

"Dude, please. I can always spare at least forty percent for the chicks. I know how to multitask."

"Wow, you're a true ladies' man," I said as we pulled up to his house. He got out and shifted the seat to grab his equipment from the back.

"Welp, you're the songwriter, Romeo."

That remained to be seen.