ONE DAY

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Soop was slow on Wednesday nights. There was a study group in one corner commandeering the seats, and a couple sitting close to the window, holding hands, in their own world. I was alone and kept looking at the clock. There was less than an hour to go and I could shut down. I'd already cleaned a few of the pitchers, and restocked the paper products. I didn't mind not being busy because it gave me more time to focus on my song.

I stood at the counter, bent over my notebook, frustrated at the scribbles on the pad. I'd been trying out a way to describe her eyes in the song, but yeah, that wasn't happening. And it was too cheesy, even though I couldn't tell her that. Learned my lesson at 2STO. But she'd know. Although at this point I wasn't sure if she was going to the battle. I wasn't sure where we stood at all.

A shadow passed across the counter and I looked up. I'd been so involved in the song that I hadn't noticed someone come in.

"Sungkyung." I glanced behind her, at the door, waiting for Hyoseop to appear, but there was no one. She smiled.

"Hey, Hyuk," she said. Her hair was in a braid to the side, her weight-lifting varsity jacket zipped to her chin.

"What's up?"

She leaned on the counter, looking into the bakery case. There was next to nothing left - mostly crumbs. Her eyes found my notebook and she glanced  across the page. I closed it fast, then tucked it on the shelf below the register.

"Hmm, new song?"

"What are you, a spy for the enemy?" I kidded.

"Pfft, as if," she said. "Are you working on something new, though?"

"Maybe," I offered. "Where's Hyoseop?"

"Where do you think? Where he's been for the past three months - rehearsing."

"Decided to sit this one out?"

"I can only take so much," she said, "and Lot 23 smells like feet."

I laughed. "Are you sure that's not just Eunwoo's band you're smelling - oh!"

"That was bad."

"Yes, it had to be said. What can I get you?"

"I'm in the mood for one of your peppermint mochas."

"Sure." I grabbed a to-go cup and attempted to do the Subin flip-thing that he'd perfected.

"That's to stay," she said.

The cup fell just out of my grasp and bounced onto the floor.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, thought I could sit with you till closing. Do you think... maybe you could give me a ride home?"

"Er, sure, why not?"

"Great," she said, smiling. "Hey, I like your hair. What made you do that?"

"A friend suggested it," I said as she took a seat at the table I used to consider her "usual." I got to work on her mocha.

When we were together, Sungkyung closed with me a lot. She'd sit with a book or work behind counter with me, pouring coffee or filling baked-goods orders. The last time she'd helped me we stayed a half hour after closing and messed around in Hanna's office. It was memory I'd put out of my mind until this moment. She kept looking at me. I concentrated on the drink. Maybe she just wanted to be friends. Could I do that?

I didn't get that jangled-nerve feeling - the one that felt like every moment I looked at her, it physically hurt. It helped that Hyoseop wasn't with her, but even thinking of him, or the two of them together, didn't jab me the same way it used to. I brought her drink to her table.

"Aren't you going to sit down?"

"Working."

She looked around. "Oh, yeah, you're swamped. "Come on. Sit a minute."

She pushed out the chair across from her with her foot.

"Now I know you must be doing some recon for the enemy," I said, sitting down.

"No, but if you want to ask me anything I can tell you." She wiggled her eyebrows and took a sip of her mocha. "Perfect, as always."

"Are they doing the original song?"

"Yes, but it's not as good as they want it to be. Eunwoo's sort of a..."

"... tyrant," I finished. (FYI, I honestly love Cha Eunwoo, my bias and my top five actors. This is just a story, nothing is real. Everything is fiction.)

"Yeah, that. They've been practicing every day. If I tell you something, you have to swear to keep your mouth shut, she said.

"Who would I say anything to?"

"I mean it, Joohyuk. Just swear on the car, or your equipments or something."

"I swear on my car, what gives?"

"They were there at 2STO and got totally psyched out by Samsan. Hyoseop couldn't believe how great the guy you replaced him with played."

"Really," I said, trying not to show her how good that made me feel. "I didn't see them."

"They didn't stay long, but they stayed long enough. Guess it's going really well with the new guy. Hyoseop misses you and Subin; he doesn't get along so great with Eunwoo."

Considering the past few times Sungkyung and I spoke she was trying to subtly wheedle the song from me, I suddenly had the feeling that she wasn't there for a friendly visit - she wanted something. Or wanted something for Hyoseop.

"Look, the band broke up, and Jisoo is a good fit, so if you're here to see if Hyoseop can get back in-"

"I'm not here for Hyoseop, Joohyuk."

"Then what are you here for?" I asked, getting up.

"I'm here for you."

The words made me pause; a jolt crackled through when she looked my way, her eyes friendly, warm... familiar.

"Don't say that," I said. One of the guys from the study group came up for a refill. I walked to the counter to help him, letting her words and her eyes do their number on me.

"We'll only be about another twenty minutes," the guy said.

"No worries," I said, filling his cup with the last of our house blend.

When I turned back, Sungkyung was sipping her drink, as if she hadn't just dropped a bomb of epic proportions. Maybe her being with Hyoseop didn't bother me, but I still felt something for her. I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel good to hear she was there for me.

We had a history. A mostly nice one. One that I'd counted on until AnhLee screwed me, or I screwed them, or however it all went down. I was done analyzing. I was done, period. I was still in that zone, though: the no-longer-boyfriend, but not-ready-to-be-friends zone. I wasn't sure we could ever be friends—maybe friendly, like bumping into each other on the street or at public spaces.

The couple at the window left, and Sungkyung shot up to clean off their table. I grabbed the counter mop and followed her.

"Sungkyung, you don't-"

"I want to, Hyuk, come on, you can get out of here quicker," she said, handing me the won the couple had left as a tip and grabbing their mugs. I wiped down the table as she took the cups into the back. When I turned around she had the box of raw sugar packets and began restocking the self-service stand.

"This is what you're really here for, restocking," I said. She always said it cleared her mind to refill the self-service stand, like putting each thing in its place gave her a sense of order and calm. It was one of the jobs I hated the most, so I never minded. She tossed a raw sugar packet my way and smiled.

I reached below and handed her the box of stirrers.

"I guess, while you're at it," I said, handing them to her.

"You're right, I like doing this," she said. She looked at my wrist. "You're not wearing your infinity bracelet - band - anymore."

"Why would I be?"

She lifted her forearm and pulled back her sleeve. The infinity symbol glinted in the light. My stomach dropped.

"I noticed you were wearing wears the last time I came in."

"Does Hyoseop know you're here?"

"I'm not sure Hyoseop even knows when I'm in the room," she said, patting down the sugar packets into their compartment.

I turned away, heading to the back room to set up the dishwasher. Whether she was doing this to mess with my head or not, I wasn't sure. It wasn't like her to flirt just because. Maybe she wasn't doing it purposely but I refused to let it get to me.

I thought about Suzy. How different it felt to be with her. Everything was up in the air, and unexpected,a nd I wasn't ready to let that go. Even if I had no idea where I stood with her.

By the time I returned out front, the study group in the corner finally calling it quits. The guy who'd come over for the refill brought some of the cups to the counter for me,and shoved a five into the tip jar.

"Thanks, man." I followed them to the door. It was five minutes to nine, but I locked the door as they walked out and turned the slate that hung on the door to CLOSED.

Sungkyung was busy collecting the rest of the dishes from the study table.

"Hyoseop's not ignoring you. This battle thing, getting ready for it is pretty insane," I said, grabbing a bin to put the dishes in. "I'm sure he knows you're in the room."

"Did you?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm just," she said, putting the cups into the bin. "I don't know. I miss you, Joohyuk. Our talks. Hyoseop doesn't-"

"I don't want to hear it. Please. I can't talk about him, about you together, what don't you get? You broke up with me."

"I'm thinking that might have been a mistake."

A knocking sound got both of our attention.

"We're closed," I said, keeping my eyes on Sungkyung. They knocked again.

Hanna would have flipped out if she heard me talk to a potential customer like that, so I took a deep breath and walked toward the door. I saw her hair first, the bangs and long wavy brunette hair falling down her shoulders. I quickened my pace, undid the lock, and pushed open the door.

Suzy scampered in, chilly air following her. No makeup, beautiful bare face, hair pulled into a half updo. She was wearing my jacket, her fingertips hanging out the bottom of the sleeves, making her look so tiny.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She shook her head, stamped her feet for warmth.

"I, uh," she began, then looked past me.

"Hi," Sungkyung said over my shoulder. I stepped aside.

"Suzy, this is Sungkyung," I said. Suzy's eyes widened slightly when she recognized the name.

"Sungkyung, Suzy. She's the one who, um, made my hair this style," I said, pointing to my head. ing brilliant, Joohyuk.

She smiled at Suzy, then looked at me as if she expected me to say something more. I'd seen the recognition in her eyes when she noticed my jacket. Did it bother her? The three of us stood there as the world turned s-l-o-w-l-y. There was no reason for me o feel awkward, but I did.

"What, um, what brings you in?" The words were out of my mouth before I realized how idiotic they sounded. I didn't care what brought her in - she was there, in front of me. All I wanted was for her to stay.

"I wanted to see you, that's all. You seem like you're in the middle of something." She shuffled back and forth, looking between Sungkyung and me.

"No, just cleaning up," I said. "So you want something? You look freezing. Here, please, sit down." I pulled out a chair and reached out a hand to her. She hesitated a moment, but then relented.

"I can make you something if you want. Hot chocolate? Americano?"

"No, everything's clean, you're closing," she said.

"It's not a problem."

"Maybe hot tea," she said.

"I'll get it," Sungkyung said.

"I'm going to clean that table, and close down, and then we can do whatever you want, okay?" I was talking to her like she was a child, but I couldn't help it. She's come here to see me. I didn't want her to leave, or change her mind. She nodded.

I raced over to the table and tossed the rest of the dishes into the bin and then ran back to fill the dishwasher. On the way I collected Sungkyung's half-finished mocha cup and glanced over my shoulder. Sungkyung had brought Suzy a cup of tea and sat down with her. The sight of the two of them together was surreal.

I finished up with the dishes quickly, the washer for a ten-minute power-wash, and went out to turn off the neon SOOP sign with a click. The girls sat in silence.

"So, um, do you want to hang out?" I asked. Suzy shrugged.

"I was going to give Sungkyung a ride home, we can do whatever after."

Sungkyung stood up. "You know, I can walk, it's fine."

"No, it's pretty cold out. You should take the ride," Suzy answered, sipping her tea.

"Let me get my jacket."

I walked to the back, grabbed my stuff, and made sure everything was set for closing. The last thing I needed to do was set the alarm code for the door. I punched in the numbers and the three of us walked toward the car. As we reached, Suzy stepped forward so she could hop into the backseat. I wanted to say something, but what? Get up front? Sungkyung didn't do anything to change the situation, either.

By the time we reached Sungkyung's, we'd managed to make some small talk about the Battle. I put the car in park and waited.

Sungkyung turned in her seat toward the back. "Nice to meet you, Suzy."

"Yes, nice meeting you, too." 

Sungkyung leaned closer to me. "Bye, Hyukie, see you at the battle."

Out of nowhere, she kissed me on the cheek, paused a minute, and whispered, "Bye" again before getting out of the car. We waited until she was at the door and in the house. Suzy remained in her seat.

"Why don't climb up here?"

"Do you want me to?" she asked.

"Do you have to ask?"

"So, that was Sungkyung. Sungkyung-Sungkyung."

"Yes."

She climbed over the console.

"Hold this." She handed me the tea so she could flop down properly into the seat. Once was buckled in, she took the cup.

"She just, I don't know, stopped by to say hello." I shifted gears and puttered off down the street. It felt weird to drive by my house without stopping.

"I don't think she was there say hello," she said.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked.

"Home," she said.

"Sure?"

"It felt like I was interrupting something."

"You interrupted me cleaning."

"She's pretty, Joohyuk."

We stopped at a light. The car stalled as I tried to shift into first when the signal turned green. Complete brain fart. It rolled a bit until I gained control, and sputtered to life. I cracked my neck, trying to shake off the direction Suzy was leading the conversation toward. Neither of us said another word until we reached her house. I parked in front of her driveway and turned off the engine.

"Tha-"

"You came to see me tonight. Why?" I asked.

She blinked, then pointed to her tea.

I grumbled. "You're lying."

"Joohyuk."

"Why are you acting like everything's okay? If something bothering you, just talk to me. I called you twice, texted you, what, maybe a hundred times-"

"Don't exaggerate," she said.

"You came looking for me."

She pressed her lips together and turned her face away. Were we fighting? Why? I didn't want to argue with her. I wanted to make her laugh, kiss her; what could have happened to make her change in three days?

"It made my night," I added.

The side of rose slightly, but then she was all business. "I don't know, I just - I know I haven't - well, you called, and I didn't call you back. I'm sorry about that. I'm in a weird place right now, Jjwogi. I had a huge fight with eomma after you left Sunday. And Juhoon is leaving, taking a job in America, and I wanted something to be normal, for us to be okay, but I don't know if I can do this."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, get attached to someone who's obviously confused."

"I'm-me? You think I'm confused?"

"I know you said you were over Sungkyung, but-"

"I had no idea she was coming to the shop tonight. I don't know what she was doing there."

"It was pretty obvious." She took a sip of tea, then put the cup in her lap, tracing the rim with her thumb. "She kissed you before she got out of the car - you don't do that if you don't care."

"Suzy." I reached over, took the cup out of her hand, and placed it in the holder. She looked at me. I traced the outline of her face, the way I had in her room, and touched my mouth to hers. She was rigid at first, but then she softened, lips parting so her tongue could meet mine. I wanted to the kiss to say all the things I couldn't put into words. To erase anything that she thought she saw at Soop. Her kisses got stronger, more insistent, her fingers in my hair, on my shoulders. She pushed me back.

"Hey." I laughed.

She kept her eyes on me and slipped out of her jacket - my jacket - and tossed it over the seat, then climbed over the console and straddled me.

"Doesn't this go back?" She reached along the seat to the handle and gave it a pull. With our weight, the seat reclined almost horizontally in one swift motion. She ped my hoodie, then put her elbows on either side me, pressing against me while did that thing with her tongue - tracing my mouth - which was  so brain-frying-hot I could barely move.

It felt so amazing, having her there on top of me, that rational thought disappeared. Soop, Sungkyung, the Battle, all evaporated with the heat of as we kissed. My hands found her waist and hips, the fabric of her yoga pants so thin, her body so warm. She rocked back and forth, gently pushing against me. A million different nerve endings exploded inside of me, but something was off.

I turned my face to the side.

"Hey," I whispered.

"What?" She kissed my cheek, my jaw, her tongue trailed along my neck, stopping below my ear. I opened my mouth to speak, but forgot what I was going to say, closing my eyes as she nipped my earlobe. She ed my jeans, her fingers slipping under the band of my boxers. she nuzzled my nose with hers, kissing me again.

"Suzy," I said between kisses. I caught her wrist before she could take it any further.

"Don't you want this?"

"Yes, I do, but not in my car, in front of your house."

"Come on, the thrill of getting caught is hot," she said, kissing me again.

I gently shifted her away. "You seem pissed off."

"Why would you say that?"

"Are you?"

"Now I am," she growled, pushing herself off me and sliding clumsily back into the passenger seat. I adjusted the seat upright. My heart thrummed in my ears. I ran a hand through my hair, forcing my breathing to return to normal.

"Maybe you can't do this because you still have feelings for Sungkyung."

"Are you trying to pick a fight with me?"

"No, but... What if I hadn't stopped by and you ended up driving her home, alone? Would you be doing this in front of her house?"

I banged my head back on the seat cushion, then turned my face to her. "Aish, Suzy, I don't have feelings for her. Not the way you think. I'm here. Next to you. I don't know what more I can do. If you don't feel the same way, or whatever it is you're trying to say, fine, but don't tell me how I feel."

"Fine, whatever." She got out of the car and slammed the door.

"Suzy."

She was halfway up the stairs, but turned around and stomped back down, opening the door.

"I'm-"

"I forgot my keys." She grabbed my jacket and fished her hand inside the pocket. As she pulled out her keys a cascade of change and other crap came tumbling out. She looked at the seat littered with stuff, then at me. Her brow furrowed and she dropped the jacket, leaving again. I got out of the car and stood up, realized my pants were still ed.

"Suzy, wait, please."

"Go home, Joohyuk." She disappeared into her house.

What.

The.

Hell.

Just happened?

My blood still raced as I slid back into the driver's seat. I tossed my jacket in the back, picking up the random change and shoving it in my hoodie pocket. There was a pick, and a napkin with numbers on it. Huh? I laid it flat on the dash and the interior light. Jimin. Those girls from 2STO. Had Suzy seen this too?

.

How could she even think this meant anything? The song I'd been writing, her song, buzzed through my head again. Bits of words again right there for the taking. I reached into the backseat, dug around my backpack for my song notebook. No pen. I sighed, looked up at her house, debating whether to ring her doorbell and insist we talk.

No.

There was no clearing this up right now, she had to cool off. Whatever it was she was going though, she didn't need me in her face. I started up the car and drove home, playing the song over and over in my head, eager once again to pick up my guitar. This song meant so much to me, now more than ever.

I needed to get it out of my head.

For her.