My Dear Love

Even as the last chords of the song echoed through the bar, I knew I'd made a huge mistake. I could see Suzy clearly, out near the front, looking like she'd rather be anywhere else. I thought she'd like it, kind of a thank-you for all she'd done in the past two weeks, but halfway through "Happy Birthday," when she wasn't even smiling, my gut told me, Joohyuk, you just blew it big.

We left the stage as Jasper went back on and announced the band for the next date. The dance floor had cleared out a bit, but was still thick enough that I had to push my way through. Jisoo and Subin disappeared into the crowd. Someone tugged on the collar of my jacket; a girl waved me over to her and her friends.

"You guys were sooooo awesome!"

"Thanks." I nodded at the four of them, hoping they didn't expect me to say much more than that, because I could barely hear my own thoughts over the techno that was now blaring through the speakers.

"You guys want to hang out?" she asked.

"We're, um, kind of hanging out anyway, here with some friends."

"Will you guys be back here to play again?" another girl asked.

I shrugged. "Not sure, hope so."

They let out an enthusiastic. "Woo-hoo!" and high-fived. I didn't know what to do. We'd never had fans who were strangers before.

"Is the guy in the hat seeing anyone?"

"Ha, Subin?" I shook my head.

The girl who's waved me over tugged on my collar again and brought to my ear.

"I think you're hot. Text me when you play here next," she said, shoving something into my hand. It was a napkin. With her number.

"Cool." I tucked it into my pocket. "See ya."

"See ya"? You've got this god thing down great, Hyuk.

I found Suzy, Stephanie, and Jisoo by the bar.

Suzy had her arms crossed, a different person from the beginning of the night. She looked bummed, all the excitement drained out of her. Minho wasn't around. I shouldn't have felt happy about that, but I did.

"So did you hate it?"

"Oh, what, you? No, you guys were great. 'Happy Birthday'? I just hate being the center of attention for something so corny. I know I probably don't give off that vibe, but, yeah that's me."

"Ah, I'll file that away for future reference."

A hatless Subin popped up behind Jisoo and Stephanie.

"Have any you seen Anna?"

"You mean Yoona?" Suzy said.

"Oh, I kind of like the fake name thing."

"Isn't she with Changwook?" Stephanie asked.

"No, I saw him leave about half an hour ago. I haven't seen her since then." Suzy's brow pinched and she looked at Stephanie. "I thought she was with you."

"She was with me until five minutes ago and . . ." Subin leaned in like he was going to say something but put out his pinkie and thumb and tipped them back toward his mouth to mime drinking.

"No," we all said together.

"Yeah, had to step outside for some air; we came back in, I told her I'd grab her a water and now I can't find her."

"Maybe she's in the bathroom." Stephanie grabbed Suzy's hand and began to walk away. Then a siren sounded, a red light pulsed on the far wall, and people climbed up onto the bar to dance. Everyone was clapping and laughing, even the bartender, so it must have been a regular thing at 2STO.

"Ho-leeey . Found her." We followed Subin's gaze across the room to the end of the bar. There was Anna/Yoona, standing on top and wearing Subin's ridiculous hat. She held hands with a girl who wore a sparkly crown and a veil. They waved their arms up over their heads as they swung their hips side to side along to the music.

"Omoo, she's really into it," Stephanie said, laughing.

Suin cupped his hand around his mouth and yelled, "An-na! Woo!"

We watched until the song was over and the red light dimmed. Everyone climbed down from the bar. Yoona bounded over to us, the pom-pom on the top of the hat wiggling as she made her way through the crowd. "Did you see me?"

"Yoona is out to play," Suzy said, tugging on the hat strings. Yoona's eyes widened.

"Hey, this girl wants to meet you." She grabbed Subin's hand and pulled him along. His face twisted with confusion but he laughed as they sliced their way through the chaos.

"Guess that is his lucky hat," I said.

"Hyuk," someone said, putting hand on my shoulder. My parents. I'd almost forgotten they were here.

"We're heading out. Need any help loading up?" Abeoji asked.

Eomeoni clung to his arm, a big smile on her face as she took in the atmosphere. Her eyes landed on Suzy's shirt, then she looked between the two of us and smiled.

"Are you the Suzy who designed the logo?"

Suzy lowered her eyes and laughed. "Guilty."

"Love it, and Joohyuk's hair, too."

Did she have to mention the hair?

"Thanks."

"Make sure you settle things with Jas. He was looking for you. See you at home." They waved as they made their way to the front and out of the bar.

"Dude, maube we should go break down, before Anna starts dancing on the bar again. I don't feel like having anyone question her about her ID. Know what I mean?" Jisoo said.

Once the car was loaded, we went back inside to Jasper's office.

"There you are," Jas said, taking out bright orange ear plug as he pushed away from the desk on his rolling chair. "Once that techno starts playing I have to put these in. Gotta do what brings 'em in, though."

It was the first time he'd said anything that reminded me that he was my parent's age. "Yeah."

"Samsan." He stood up and handed me the cash. I flipped through the bills, and counted 220,000 won.

"There's too much here," I said, handing back a few wons. He held up his hand.

"We did great tonight, consider it a bonus. Are you guys up for a date in May?"

"Hell yeah," I said.

"Cool, I'll put you down - second week. Hey, did you ever see this?"

He waved us over to the wall of pictures. Jisoo and I stood before it, scanning the photos.

"Recognize anyone?"

"That's Abeoji," I said, pointing to their band picture. The five of them stood in various poses, leaning against a brick wall. Abeoji was shirtless under a denim jacket and tight pants. I'd seen pics from his band days, but not this one. He was so thin, and looked bored, but in a determined way - if I didn't know him I would have assumed he was pretty badass.

"Is that, wait -" Jisoo pointed at a picture again. I knew eomeoni had hung out with the band, she and abeoji talked about it from time to time, but I'd never seen pics of her. Especially with Jasper.

"You know she used to sing backup when she was bored."

"Eomeoni. Sing?"

"Yeah, she had a sweet voice, too. Never wanted to do more than that. She was too practical." Jasper stared at the picture in a way that made me wonder how close they actually had been. No. ing. Way.

"Well, um, we're heading out."

"See you in May."

In the hallway, I handed Jisoo his share of the take. He paused a moment and counted it.

"It's all there," I said.

"Oh, yeah dude, I know. Never been paid to play. Feels kind of sweet."

In all the excitement, the nerves, the desire to get it right, I'd forgotten about that feeling. He was right. It did feel pretty sweet to get paid for something that I loved to do.

"It does. Doesn't it?"

✿ Secrets of Attraction ✿

We unloaded at my house first, then hit the Starlight Diner, which was so crowded they didn't have a spot for six. We had to split up into two booths across from each other. Me and Subin  on one side, Yoona and Suzy on the other in a booth for four, while Stephanie and Jisoo sat in the booth for two near the window. Even though they sat across from each other, they were one unit, legs entwined, hands clasped across the table, as they read through the menu. There was familiarity there. Closeness. Comfort. I felt my wrist, a phantom buzz from the infinity band.

Suzy already had her menu closed. When our eyes met, she looked away. God, I would have given anything to relive that moment onstage at 2STO. The way it felt to have her look at me like that, like she couldn't look away. Here in the diner with the bright lights and the clanking of dished and laughter, I felt too exposed to just stare at her. How could it have felt like we shared a secret in a crowded room, but here we couldn't hold eye contact for longer than a few seconds? she fiddled with the paper ring around her silverware.

After we placed our order, Yoona put her arms on the table and her head down. She looked content in Subin's hat.

"So how much did you have to drink, Princess Anna?" Suzy asked.

Yoona sat up. "Only two itty-bitty beaker . . . no, wait, test-tube thingies of some really sweet-tasting blue stuff. I'm still a little buzzed, but I'll be fine after I eat. The girl in the tiara - the one getting married - just handed them out from this little rack. I was talking to her about Changwook, and she told me to lighten up and live a little."

"Wait, what about Changwook?" Stephanie asked.

Yoona waved her hand. "I. Don't. Want. To. Talk. About. It."

"Anna has spoken," Subin said. Yoona convulsed with laughter.

"Ugh, don't make me laugh."

The waitress came back with our order. Two plates of disco fries and rye toast with jam. Suzy had a hot chocolate with a mountain of whipped cream.

"Check out this shoddy barista work. Amateurs." She took a spoonful of whipped cream from the top. I laughed.

Subin grabbed his plate of disco fries and dug in. Yoona wrinkled her nose.

"Those look like a stomachache waiting to happen."

"Nah, these are the best. What's with the toast and tea? Are we dropping you off at the nursing home after this?"

Yoona laughed. "Training, Subin. That plate of grease would probably take me about twenty laps around the park to burn off."

"Food of the gods, Yoona. Live a little." He held out a forkful of fries dripping with cheese and bacon to her.

"You know my name?"

"Yep, heard it from your girlfriends."

Yoona snorted, putting her hand up to . Subin waved the fork at her again.

"Suits you better than Anna. Going once . . ."

She took the fork out of his hand and nibbled at the tip of the fry before scarfing down the rest of it.

"Mmmm . . . this is . . . No way."

"See, told you."

Suzy arched an eyebrow at their exchange, then looked at me.

"Stranger things," she said.

I touched my fingertips to hers, across the table. She didn't snatch them away. Her eyes met mine again. She had smudged lips that made her look so irresistible. I kept waiting for her to lance away, but she didn't.

"What happened with Minho?" I asked.

"You saw that?"

"Well, no. He was there and now he's not."

"We broke up," she said, sliding her fingertips over mine. We weren't exactly holding hands, but it was something. Her touch made every cell in my body buzz. Don't smile. Don't smile. My mouth betrayed me. She pursed her lips to the side, fighting a smile, and looked away.

"I'm going to make it up to you - the birthday thing," I said.

''You don't have to," she said.

"Yes. Yes I do."

She tapped her fingers on mine. "I'd like that."