it's time to go
invisible string
-pack your dolls and a sweater, we'll move to India forever-
"You were too reckless."
Sehun wasn't listening to Junmyeon. The bandages on his wrist had such an enormous effect on him. He was calm and cool now, regretting. He had broken his house, his father's house, his sister's house. He had made a mess out of their home. And for that, he was ashamed. Every look at the white lump of bandages on his hand reminded him that he hadn't solved anything for the two of them, his sister and him.
He could see his house from Junmyeon's large window. He could see the whole neighborhood. And all the houses glowed with the hopes that this year will bring them closer to their goals and make them happier while his own stood desolate among the lights, the spirit broken from the inside just like the furniture.
He had ruined the house his father had built when he was expecting a son. A big lawn for him to play with his friends, all the space upstairs belonged to him, he would store his toys and study in a quiet corner. And the steps of the stairs were low in height so that he wouldn't have trouble climbing those up and down. Sehun had wrecked it all. The house was haunted now, his mother had moved in with her boyfriend. And the memories of his father remained buried there, almost abandoned. In his head he only heard himself saying, I'm sorry, Papa.
"Sometimes you just have to let things go, Sehun."
"You don't know...a thing," Sehun muttered back. He was lying on this bed for a day now, since last night. His hand was almost paralyzed, he had lost too much blood. And Junmyeon took care of the two of them, he didn't even have to go to the hospital because of Junmyeon's family doctor.
"You don't know if I do," Junmyeon said, smiling. He was sitting on his desk, reading some book, keeping him company. "You're not the only one who has a broken family, you know."
Sehun glanced at him instantly. Junmyeon had warm eyes. Brown. "You still have your father."
"Do I?" Junmyeon smiled in a sad manner. "No, I'm alone. And we don't talk so...but I bet he'll need me one day."
His smile reflected on Sehun's face. "At least you have one."
"It's like not having one at all."
"You don't...understand," Sehun sighed, looking at his crooked nails. "But I guess...not all fathers are the same."
"Hmm, tell me about yours."
"He passed away. In a car accident."
Junmyeon studied the gloomy clouds on Sehun's face, as if the boy was reliving that one day inside his head.
"And...what was he like?"
"Like… my best friend," Sehun said. Junmyeon left it at that. Even though he would have loved to know what a father was supposed to be like. Sehun played with his fingers, legs crossed under the blanket. Junmyeon silently watched him.
"Come live with me."
Sehun looked sideways at the closed door. Junmyeon waited for an answer. But it never came. Instead, Sehun asked, "Yerim...where is she?"
"I live alone. Mom and Dad divorced. Just...recently and I feel really lonely at times...even though we never interacted all that much. It's a big house." Junmyeon said instead. Sehun nodded, not answering him.
"Yerim has allergies. Peanuts and crabs… can you make sure that--"
"I'll see to it, Sehun," Junmyeon assured him, smiling at the way he changed topics so adamantly, and cared so much about his sister. Wishing he had one too. And then he let Sehun sleep.
Her letter didn’t come. Sehun watched a lonely cloud pass through the blue of the sky through the window, the sun a dim ball in the distance. He had checked his letter box twice today, both after waking up from his random naps. Junmyeon said he wasn’t allowed to go out. Needless to say, he couldn’t attend any of his jobs for two days now, or his classes.
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