august sipped away
invisible string
-you drew stars around my scars but now I'm bleeding-
Dearest Junmyeon,
I haven't been doing well. It's really difficult for me to study in this university, given that not everyone can manage to talk to me and befriend me. I've been called disgusting things over the past weeks, you see I had the misfortune to run into the notorious group of friends in this university. And it's so weak of me to confess that I had been bullied. They took my glasses away and poured water over me. Only because I don't talk to them. Or there was some other reason I don't know. Usually Geet accompanies me to wherever I go but that day, she was absent. I can't depend on her for the rest of my life, as tempting as it sounds. Junmyeon, I just feel so small and weak at this moment. I've never felt my disability more than how I did that day.
Anyways, I complained to the authorities. I don't think much work will get done. I'm only a scholarship student after all and those are the rich kids. I thought, I really thought, the episode of the more powerful people controlling my life one way or another will end, but I realized I'll have to watch them play me in their strings till the end of my life. Unless I become one of them, of course, but that is both wishful thinking and a dreaded future. There's not much to say today. I read some books to distract myself from the sad thoughts. I'll be alright in no time so don't worry, alright? Just disclosing this to you makes me feel a hundred times lighter.
Do you think I'll do good if I just come back to Seoul? Study here and be with the ones I love and the ones who'll never do such horrible things to me? They haven't given my glasses back. I went to the ophthalmologist to check the power of my eyes. Needless to say, I had a hard time communicating with him. But he was such a gentleman. He offered to bring me home after the checkup and I agreed. On the way home, I told him about the bad day that led me to his clinic. He has a gray mustache, almost looks so much like McMillan, you know, the British Prime Minister after Anthony Eden. He told me not to worry about the kids, that's what they are. While I, am a very charming lady, who'll look good in clear frames, he said. So, yes, I ordered clear frames this time!
They're still on their way, and I can't wait to use them! And those bad kids can have my thousand year old glasses for all I care. Wait, do I sound mean? See, this city is not doing me much good. Except for making a new friend, who's actually really really patient, and going to her house everyday to pet her puppy, and yes, some more patient teachers, I haven't gotten a lot from here. Oh yes, the kids next door too!
I'm afraid I'll have to go now. Thank you for reading, Junmyeon. I hope you don't have to go through something as horrible as I did. I also don't think they're gonna stop anytime soon so yeah, I'll keep
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