Taeyeon just stared blankly to the floor. She really confused, she didn’t know what to do, she was speechless. Her phone kept ringing non-stop. Tiffany, Yuri and Jessica all called her at the same time, but Taeyeon just ignore it. Especially Tiffany, she kept calling and calling until she left tons of missed call since Taeyeon didn’t bother to pick it up.

The news about Tiffany and Nickhun shocked her, she felt she just got stabbed by a knife right in her chest when she read it. She didn’t understand. How could she? How could Tiffany did this to her? Is this why Tiffany asked for a break, so she can be with Nickhun or with any other person who were capable to give what Tiffany wanted? Those thinking kept swimming in her head. Taeyeon could not even cried, she felt numb, but her heart hurts like hell.

Since she found the news, Taeyeon locked herself in the apartment she rent during her trip in Seoul. She didn’t eat, she could not sleep, she just lay down on the sofa and kept looking at the news like an idiot. She turned off her phone at first, but later she decided to turn it on just in case her mom was looking for her. But she will not pick up whoever calling her, unless it was her mom. When she her phone, lots of calling and text message flooded her phone. But she didn’t care. She just wanted to be alone. 

Taeyeon startled when suddenly she heard someone banging her door.

“Taeyeon! Open the door.”, she can hear Jessica’s voice, screaming from outside.

“Taeyeon!!!!”, Jessica barked again, louder this time. “Are you okay? Why are you not answering my call? Are you there? Answer it God damn it!!”

Taeyeon didn’t even move, she just stared at the door this time. Ignoring Jessica who were desperately still trying her luck with the locked door.

“TAEYEON!”, Jessica banged the door harshly this time and she screamed like a mad woman. “Open the door or I swear to God I will kick this door until its open!!!!!”

The loud banging finally tickled Taeyeon to move. She was sure if she let Jessica banging her door and screaming like that her neighbors will be disturbed and got mad at her.

“Tae----“, Jessica half-screamed paused when Taeyeon finally opened the door. Jessica sighed loudly and tried to catch her breath from the screaming before.

“Why don’t you answer my call??”, Jessica scoffed, she let herself in to Taeyeon’s apartment before Taeyeon even can say anything.

“I just want to be alone.”, Taeyeon replied weakly. She closed the door and followed Jessica to the couch.

Jessica looked at Taeyeon and examined her. Taeyeon looked so miserable, looked so messy. She didn’t wear any make up, she had an eye-bag, and her eyes were withered. Taeyeon looked so tired and soulless.

“You saw the news.”, Jessica said. It was a statement, not a question. Jessica knew Taeyeon gone missing in action must be because of that. Taeyeon just kept quiet.

“Are you okay?”, Jessica’s voice turned soft when they both sat on the sofa. Jessica some of Taeyeon’s hair that was stranded on her face.

“I don’t know.”, Taeyeon shrugged her shoulder. Jessica just staring at her, then she hugged Taeyeon. So tight. Jessica would not let Taeyeon go through this alone. Forget the awkwardness since the kiss incident they had before, now what Taeyeon’s feel was more important than that. Taeyeon needed her friend, and Jessica will be there for her.

Without saying any words, Taeyeon cried. The first time she cried after she saw the news. In the arms of Jessica she finally let it out.

******

Jessica stayed with Taeyeon the whole day. Ordering food and tried to feed Taeyeon who kept refuse to eat, force Taeyeon to take a shower and wash her hair. They didn’t talk a lot, but Jessica felt that she just need to be there. At least Taeyeon knew she has someone there to support her.

“Sica..”

“Hmm?”, Jessica shifted her gaze from her phone to Taeyeon.

“I am sorry that I kissed you.”, Taeyeon said.

Jessica was a bit surprise that suddenly Taeyeon brought the topic. She stared at Taeyeon. “Why did you do it?”

Taeyeon sighed. She leaned on the couch and stared at the ceiling. “I guess…. ---“, Taeyeon paused, trying to explain the reason. “I guess… I was lonely.”

“You’re just the same like Yuri.”, Jessica said bitterly.

Taeyeon chuckled. But she could sense that Jessica didn’t like her reason because it did remind her of what Yuri did to her. “You’re right. That’s why I said I am sorry. I really like spending my time with you and you really make me happy whenever I am with you. We share our problem and we took care of each other. Without even I realized it, I was starting to depend my life on you and use you to replace Tiffany, to fill the spot that Tiffany left for me. I don’t know if I really grew feelings for you or what could happen if the situation is different, or if we are in another lifetime.. but…”  

“You really think you want to date me if let’s say, we are in the alternate universe?”, Jessica let out a hearty laugh.

Taeyeon also laughed. The first genuine laugh she let out since she read the news. “Yah well.. I don’t know actually. You and Tiffany pretty much the same, I mean.. you both are scary..So it would be hard to handle.”

“Yah!”, Jessica frowned and slapped Taeyeon’s shoulder.

“But I guess I can understand Yuri. Don’t think this in the wrong way, Sica. But I am sure that she was just that lonely at that time and she did it without having any feelings towards Ye-jin Unnie. In her heart there was only you. ”, Taeyeon supplied again.

Jessica sneered. “Say, if you feel lonely again...would you ever think to do it again? Kissing me like the last time?”, Jessica asked. She was actually wanted to find any justification, if Taeyeon experienced the same situation like Yuri, maybe it will help her to find a peace a mind from Taeyeon’s answer.

Taeyeon looked deep into Jessica’s eyes. Then she smiled and shook her head. “No. It was a mistake. And now I know it was a mistake, I would be that stupid if I repeat the same mistake.”

Jessica let out a weary smile, tried to believe Taeyeon. “I am sorry I slapped you. I was just --- shocked I guess.”

Taeyeon laughed. “It really hurts you know!!”, she pouted. 

Their late night talk interrupted when Taeyeon’s phone started ringing again and again after it was silent the whole afternoon and evening. When it stopped since Taeyeon still ignore it, a text message came to Jessica’s phone. It was Tiffany and she informed Jessica that she and Yuri had arrived in Seoul and now they were in the front of Taeyeon’s apartment building.

“Tae… Tiff and Yuri… --- they are here.”, Jessica said to Taeyeon, carefully.

Taeyeon’s eyes grew bigger. “What???”

“They flew from LA to see us. And now they here. Down there in the lobby. Do you --- I mean, if you don’t want to see Tiffany I can shoo them away.”, Jessica asked.

Taeyeon went silent for a moment before she finally decided that she need an explanation from Tiffany. “No. It’s okay. They can come here. You okay with Yuri being here too?”

Jessica smiled. She was touched that Taeyeon still thinking about her feelings eventough she herself was in a painful situation now. “It’s what you feel that matters now, Tae.”

Jessica texted Tiffany back and said that they can come to Taeyeon’s apartment. Minutes later, they can hear someone ring the doorbell. Seeing Taeyeon just rooted to the couch, Jessica took the initiative and walked to open the door. She was greeted by Tiffany’s eye-smile when the door opened.

“Jessi!!”, Tiffany hugged Jessica. “It’s so nice