“This is bull.”

“Wheeinie, please--”

“No, I want a refund.”

“Babe, please I--”

“This isn’t fair.”

They sat across from each other on the couch as Wheein was glaring at Hyejin’s phone. She knew about Hyejin’s schedule, her lion talked to her about it, but now that it’s here it’s cemented. Cemented on how lucky Hyejin is and on how unlucky Wheein is. 

“Wheein-aaaah, you knew about this already,” Hyejin pleaded as she dared to scoot a little bit closer. 

“Yea, but now it’s real and it’s unfair,” Wheein huffed as she placed Hyejin’s phone on the table in front of them. Careful to not put it into any precarious position. 

“Awwww, unfair because you get to see less of me??” Hyejin finally made her way to Wheein and immediately wrapped the other in a welcoming embrace. 

“..........Yes,” Wheein finally admitted as she gave into Hyejin’s hug. Nuzzling her face into the crook of Hyejin’s neck. Seeking comfort in the warmth and scent that was Hyejin. Even placing a small kiss on the sensitive skin.

Hyejin let out a small hum of enjoyment as she felt Wheein’s lips on her neck. A sensation that she will forever treasure as there is no guarantee that there will be a tomorrow. 

“But I’ll be picking you up anyway so,” Hyejin started.

“But--”

“Don’t you dare but! Wheein-ah, you know the buses don’t run that late….” Hyejin moved so she could look Wheein in the eye. 

“But then that’ll mean you’ll be staying up late!” Wheein tried to counter. 

“I have insomnia anyway, it’s not like it’s gonna ruin my sleep schedule,” Hyejin shrugged. 

“Hyej---Wait, you have insomnia?? Since when?” Wheein’s reluctance turned to worry. 

“I never told you about it??” Hyejin could’ve sworn she mentioned it. Or maybe she thought she did. 

“No! Hyejin-ah….” 

The worry in Wheein’s eyes tugged at Hyejin’s heart. As much as she never wants Wheein to worry about  her, there’s no use. Wheein will always worry about her. Worry about the big and the small things. Although, she can’t really complain. She worries about Wheein too. 

“Since when?” Wheein’s voice turned soft and timid. As if scared to approach this new development. 

Hyejin sighed and held Wheein’s hand. Finding comfort and strength to admit something that has been years ongoing. Wheein’s soft skin grounded her and Wheein’s grip solidified her resolve. 

“Since my uncle died….” Hyejin practically whispered. 

“Hyejin-ah……” Wheein wrapped Hyejin in her arms and held her there. If there was one thing she could do she would want to take Hyejin’s pain away. Even though Hyejin has gotten better over the years there are still glimpses. Glimpses to her pain and suffering as she remembers that day vividly. Sometimes it would render Hyejin inert and unresponsive for a while or for a quick passing. But that also brings up something else. How did she not notice? 

“I hid it pretty well, huh?” Hyejin had always been an amazing mind reader.

“How…...No….Why?” Wheein questioned. 

“Well, I always had you by my side so I just stared at you till I fell asleep and---” Hyejin paused with a small tilt of her head, her loose baby hairs tickling Wheein’s cheek, “Which, in hindsight, sounds pretty creepy oh my god.”

“Yea but I would rather have you stare at me than anyone else,” Wheein admitted. 

“Thank god I didn't have a marker on me.”

“Hyejin-aaaah,” Wheein gently shook Hyejin’s frame to get her back to focus. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Hyejin sheepishly apologised, “As to the why, well, uh…...I don’t know??”

“You don’t know why you didn’t get help?”

“I don’t know…...I thought it was just one of those things, you know? Once I learned that it was insomnia and that the only way to really treat it is with therapy I just sorta…...gave up on it?” Hyejin admitted. 

“Gave up?”

“Yea, like I know the university has mental help stuff but I kept forgetting about it since I was doing fine day to day,” Hyejin shrugged again. 

“Well, now that you have a pretty open schedule,” Wheein started.

“Wheein-ah--”

“You can at least use the free services while we have them,” Wheein stated with no room for argument. 

Hyejin leaned back to look at Wheein. opened with a prepared argument, but Wheein knew her. She knew how Hyejin works well enough to formulate a deal that can’t be refused. 

“If you go then I’ll let you pick me up on your bike so you can have the chance to wear those biker outfits and give you the chance to intimidate, terrify, or accidentally arouse, my poor colleagues,” Wheein struggled to keep a straight face but she managed to pull through.. 

Hyejin paused for a moment before squinting her eyes at Wheein. 

“God, I love you,” Hyejin broke into a goofy smile before leaning in to give Wheein a kiss on the lips. 

“Mmmm, I love you too,” Wheein couldn’t help but giggle. Hyejin’s facial transition from offended squint to a love sick lion was interesting. 

“Now that that’s settled, I can finally eat,” Hyejin’s voice went low and husky. 

“What? You ate like a couple---” Wheein finally realised when Hyejin meant, and as much as she wanted to give in, to have Hyejin’s hands roam her body once again, there was only one problem, “Wait! Not here, people sit here!!”

Hyejin let out a huff before standing and loomed over Wheein. And before Wheein could let out a noise, Hyejin scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom. Only Wheein’s small yelp was heard before other noises took over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, what made you decide to marry mother afterall?”

Wheein finally gathered the courage to ask the question she had desperately wanted to ask. So, once she managed to have a moment alone with her mom she pounced. All while people were training in the background. Afterall, this is Hyejin’s first weekend back at the gym and people were excited to show her all that they’ve learned.  

“Hm?” Yong was only half paying attention. Her mind was observing how much Hyejin had deteriorated or not. 

“What made you decide to marry mother?” Wheein asked again. 

Yong finally peeled her eyes away from the ring to look at her daughter. Her daughter whose eyes were filled with careful curiosity. Eyes that she is all too familiar with. 

“To put it simply, politics,” Yong shrugged. There was so much more, but she didn’t want to keep Wheein any longer than she had to. Besides, Wheein is astute enough that a story would only bore her. 

Wheein blinked. Out of all the answers she expected, politics wasn’t one of them.

“Politics??” Wheein’s confused puppy look was on her face and it caused Yong to laugh. 

“Tell me, does being a single, Korean woman back in the day bode well for new endeavours?” Yong asked the hypothetical. 

“N-no, but how does that--”

“The power of a name….” Yong said more to herself than to Wheein.

“Power of a name?”

“Seeing your mother struggle for being Korean was one thing, but to also see her struggling because she’s single?” Yong gave a ghostly chuckle as she remembered those days, “It was mind boggling. But it was something we could control.”

Wheein remained silent. Wondering where her mom was going with this. And wondering what new information she may discover. 

“So, we made a stupid gamble. I proposed, along with my idea, and your mother accepted,” Yong stared ahead, eyes lost in time, “I think I surprised your mother. Once I came back I think she had since come to terms about never getting married. I mean, what difference did it make? We were going to be with each other till the end so a contract recognized by the government  is nothing.”

Wheein looked at Hyejin then. Her girlfriend was talking with others with a bright smile on her face. All while words echoed throughout her head.

I didn’t want a girlfriend for the rest of my life, Wheein-ah. I wanted a wife!

“So we got married and she took my name. Kim. And our gamble paid off. The sheer ignorance and arrogance of people meant they automatically assumed it was a man that your mother married.”

“And that was it, huh?” Wheein could guess how the rest of the story goes.

“A little bit. I never took marriage too seriously at first, but your mother told me something that changed my mind, especially after we saw the hope in some kids eyes,” Yong smiled, “Be the adult you needed when you were a child.”

Wheein blinked. Familiar words, but different context. And now, she finally understands what it means. Now, after all these years of thinking it meant having to be the perfect adult. 

“Be the adult…..” Wheein’s mind flashed a memory before her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a very mundane weekend.A week after their little outing with friends. She can’t remember what happened during that week or what prompted the trip to the store, but here they were. Standing in line. 

For whatever reason, the lines were long and endless. Despite only getting a few items, the speedy checkout lanes also had lines. So, they stood. 

With Hyejin holding the basket, and with Wheein wrapping herself around Hyejin’s free arm, both mindlessly waited. Even though it did get to the point that Wheein started to browse her phone for any sort of mindless entertainment. 

It felt like eons, but Wheein noticed Hyejin’s head moving around. Finally removing her phone from the picture she saw that Hyejin was playing facial charades with the child in front of them. The child was silent, as if scared to bother her mother, but she was still just a child. And all children need fun. Which, on this day and time, that fun was named Ahn Hyejin. 

She tried to remain as invisible as possible but a giggle soon escaped . Hyejin gave her a big smile and the child also finally noticed her. And when the child noticed Wheein her eyes grew wide with amazement and awe. 

A bit confused at first, the child soon gave them the answer as to why she was in awe. Grabbing her mom’s hand, a mom who was engaging in a very invigorating phone conversation about gossip, the child pointed out a ring with a quizzical look. 

A wedding ring. 

Wheein didn’t understand but Hyejin did. 

With a soft sigh, and sombre look, Hyejin shook her head to answer the unasked question. 

Disappointment consumed the child. The once bright smile was replaced with a pointed frown as the child let go of her mother’s hand. A mother who finally pushed the basket forward as they were called to a new opened line. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Does being an adult mean giving up your principals?” Wheein asked as pops began to fill the air. Hyejin issued a challenge and despite everyone’s reluctance, someone finally answered. 

“Being an adult means knowing when to compromise,” Yong answered. Her eyes were focused on Hyejin’s dancing form. 

“But why should it matter if it doesn’t change anything?” Wheein asked more to herself than to her mom. 

“If it doesn’t change anything then why does it matter?” Yong again answered. 

“But it’s a contract…..contracts break all the time,” Wheein muttered. Her mind raced. 

“If that’s how you see it then that says more about you than the actual contract,” Yong said the words that she said to herself all that time ago. 

“But….”

“Are you really afraid that Hyejin will leave you again?”

Wheein flinched at the question.

“No, but…”

“If you love Hyejin so much then marriage being a contract shouldn’t bother you. What are you afraid of?”

Silence was Wheein's answer.

“You saw marriage as a contract for so long that you lost the beauty that it can have.”

“Beauty of what? A happy end for just two people?”

Yong sighed. Her daughter is so smart yet so dense. 

“The beauty of hope. That there can be a chance for a young girl to one day say that they have a wife, that there can be a chance for a young boy to one day say that they have a husband. That even though times are better now compared to my time, it’s still awful for a good number of people. That even if you don’t believe in marriage, there are still plenty of people that do and ultimately aim for that since it has been denied to them for so long. That now, more than ever, there needs to be role models.”

Yong paused her spiel when the sound of a body hit the ring floor.

“Marriage may be rooted in something you don’t agree with, but isn’t condemning it to such a root giving it more power instead of trying to change it for the better? Acknowledging it and doing nothing about it is worse than anything else,” Yong finished. 

“Hell yea, I still got it muthaas!!” Hyejin yelled triumphantly as the crowd around the ring erupted into cheers. 

Yong cheered with them as she got up to go meet Hyejin at the corner. Leaving a contemplating Wheein behind. And as she contemplated, she looked at how happy Hyejin was. How Hyejin’s smile was bright and full of life. How Hyejin’s muscles glistened with sweat. How Hyejin embodied a goddess. How the love in Hyejin’s eyes seemed bottomless. 

How Hyejin can be an inspiration for the better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, Hyejin-ah…”

“Hm?”

They laid in the darkness as they waited for the power to come back on. Wheein on top of Hyejin while Hyejin’s fingers danced along Wheein’s spine. Her habit of being shirtless in the apartment hadn’t stopped and Hyejin will never complain. Unless it’s cold, then Hyejin will pester Wheein to put on a shirt even if the apartment is sweltering. Their quiet movie night interrupted by the sudden blackout but it was a minor set back. As long as they have each other, then nothing can bother them. 

But, it was times like these that allowed the opportunity to open up in ways that will reopen old wounds.

“Do you……...Would you still want to get married?”

Wheein’s question hung in the air with a heavy weight. The comfortable silence became filled with only the sounds of the streets below. It was as if everything around them froze in place. 

“I thought…..I thought you were against marriage??” Hyejin asked in a small voice. As much as she says and tells herself that she accepted that she’ll never get married, that she’ll respect Wheein’s views on it, there was still a small sliver of hope. A small chance that one day she can call Wheein her wife. The power that would have. 

“I am…..but….I think a more accurate description would be that I’m against marriage of the wrong people,” Wheein clarified as she moved her head to get a clear read on Hyejin’s face. Despite the dark, the moon was bright tonight. 

“Of the wrong people?” Hyejin questioned. Her hand found rest on Wheein’s lower back, in that crook, while her other hand found Wheein’s. Their fingers easily intertwining, each speaking to the other through touch alone. 

“Some people just shouldn’t get married. It’s as if marriage is a stepping stone that you have to go through in order to be considered an adult. Like marriage is just another mundane right of passage, and as a consequence, it’s treated less than it should be,” Wheein said as she shifted positions to straddle Hyejin. Her hand never letting go of Hyejin’s as her other hand found its home on Hyejin’s stomach. Her movement caused Hyejin’s shirt to lift just enough to expose the skin below. It took every ounce of willpower to not immediately begin feeling the soft skin that hid the muscle underneath. 

“Wheein-ah….” Hyejin’s voice was soft and innocent.

“I’m sorry, Hyejin-ah. I never considered the fact that what makes a marriage is dependent on the people in it,” Wheein started, “I always thought marriage was the same. Just another binding contract between two people. And while my parents were amazing examples of a successful marriage, they were still one out of so many others that were failing or failed.”

Hyejin remained quiet to let Wheein get her thoughts out. Thoughts that actually have coherent words to them. 

“I thought marriage was just a setup for failure in the long run. That it was so archaic that it was better left alone,” Wheein continued, “That nothing could change it. But that’s giving it more power, isn’t it? By accepting it as fact means that it’s damning for the next generation.”

“You shouldn’t have to--” Hyejin started. But Wheein knew what the argument was already. 

“ Be the adult you needed as a child,” Wheein echoed the words again, “I had my role models already, but you didn’t, right?”

Hyejin kept silent. As amazing and loving her parents' relationship were, she could never see herself in them. She could never see herself with a man, and until she came out to them that’s all they pushed on her. She never had the example of two women being married. Fundamentally, it was no difference, but ultimately it would’ve been powerful. 

“Even though the world is more open now, it doesn’t change the fact that there are still young ones with no role models in a sense,” Wheein’s tone turned sombre, “There are still young people who are questioning and having difficulty seeing themselves in the world around them that they sometimes may lose hope. So they give into societal pressures and enter things they are uncomfortable with, or maybe not that at all…..”

Wheein’s voice faded but Hyejin knew what she was thinking. And it pulled her heart. 

“If us being married means giving hope to a child, a teen, or a young person then let’s do it. Afterall, nothing is really going to change between us. Only a piece of paper and, well maybe taxes…..”

Wheein’s passionate face morphed into concern as she finally thought about the legal implications of marriage, and there was only one thing Hyejin could say. Her touch did the talking for her. Her touch conveyed how much she understood where Wheein was coming from. Each squeeze, each swipe of her thumb, each shift of her fingers, all were signs of her understanding and accepting. 

“I love you.”

The power came to life with a dull buzz. The lamps illuminated the living room and showered them in the warm light. Wheein saw the twinkle in Hyejin’s eyes. A twinkle that she knows is only reserved for her. 

“I love you too,” Wheein smiled as she leaned over to give Hyejin a tender kiss. A tender kiss that turned more heated as she felt Hyejin’s hands roam her exposed torso. Leaving fluttering trails of teasing desire, it was getting almost unbearable. Wheein wanted, no, needed more. Unfortunately, Wheein missed the mischievous grin on Hyejin's face.

Finally, one of Hyejin’s hands reached a and--

“Honk!”

“Hyejin-ah!!”