A Moment Of Desperation, A Moment Of Clarity

The Beauty of Senses ~ Inuyasha X Reader

I can feel the warmth of the sunlight faintly in the room, I open my eyes but as always I can't see anything. I feel frustration filling my mind, I want to see. I blink a few times to try and regain my senses, the moment that I do, the person that I love comes to mind. I use my hands and feel the space beside me, It's empty. I prop myself up and my mind goes blank.

"Inuyasha?" I call out.

I feel the futon around me, but I don't feel anything except for the cool silk fabric. The room is only so big, I call his name again, no response. Although I don't know where he is, I don't feel his presence at all in the room as I take a moment to listen to any breathing or movements. I get up and my breath slightly hitches, I find the bell bracelet that I took off and tie it back onto my wrist. Changing into my kimono isn't my main priority right now, Inuyasha is. I get up and I find the wooden walls of the hut, I then follow it until I find the door. I open it up and I can feel the warm Spring sunlight hit my face and hands, the air is still slightly chilly though. I carefully walk down the steps and I begin to wonder around the gravel filled ground.

"Inuyasha? Where are you?!" I call out into the open nature.

I continue to walk around, I head towards the big hut, or at least I think I am because I didn't think where I was going when I started walking. I can hear people talking in the far distance, the area where our hut is is far from the heart of the village. I continue to walk around and calling out to Inuyasha, after a few minutes of walking I stop. I realize that by walking around won't get me anywhere or to Inuyasha if he's not here, I want to see, oh how I wish that I can see. I'm starting to panic a little, what if something happened to Inuyasha? What if he never woke up? Did the others came in while I was deep asleep and took him away when they realized that he didn't wake up? Why am I thinking of that? I know Inuyasha is strong enough to pull through this, but I can't help but think that something might have happened. I close my eyes and I lower my head, I let out a big sigh. I feel tears slowly forming,I have to find Sango and Miroku. I don't know where I should go... I feel completely lost right now. I miss Inuyasha's hand holding mine and guiding me, I miss the warmth of his skin. I take a step forward and then another, the day haven't even started and my heart is already in pain and confusion, clouded in sadness and melancholy. I suddenly hear something out of the blue in the far distance, I stop and turn my head to the side so my left ear faces the back. I furrow my brows and focused, it sounds like....chimes? My eyebrows lifts up as I try to listen to it more. The sound seems to be coming closer and closer, it's clear at this point, bell chimes. I turn my body completely around and my eyes begin to wonder frantically to try and pinpoint where it's coming from, could it be?

"Inuyasha?!" I shout out again in desperation.

I then hear the sound of the bell chime coming closer and footsteps, I put my arms out as I try to touch something in front of me hoping it to be him.

"_____________!" A voice calls out.

My eyes widen as I recognize the voice that registered after a few seconds.

"Inuyasha! Where are you!?" I call out again.

My hands are out in front of me as I try to find the person that I long for so much, I walk towards the sound of the bell as it chimes nonstop from movements. No sooner, I feel big warm hands taking hold of mine in theirs. I stop in my tracks and I then feel my body falling against someone's broad chest, warmth surrounds me and the silk fabrics of clothing touches my skin. I hold my breath as I feel their hands letting go of me after pulling me into them and holds me to them, I can feel thick hair brushing against my face. The chimes of the bell is right above me.

"Thank goodness you stopped, I was calling to you in the distance. You were about to walk into a tree." His deep blunt voice says.

I let go of the breath that I held, I can feel my heart dropping as relief wash over me. Tears starts to come out of my eyes, I feel my legs give way and I descend towards the ground without knowing. As I fall, strong arms holds me and descend with me as I touch the ground. I bury my head against his chest as he holds me close to him, I grab hold of his silk kimono in the palm of my functioning hand.

"You're alright Inuyasha, thank goodness you're alright." I say while crying.

I feel Inuyasha rest his cheek against the side of my head, he then pulls me onto his lap and holds me affectionately. I feel safe again, I can feel him again.

"Of course I'm alright, I'm a demon remember? I'm not going to die that easily. Sorry for worrying you just now, I went to go see Sango and the others. You were sleeping so I didn't want to wake you, I thought that I would just tell them and come straight back but guess I took too long." He says.

"No, you don't need to apologize for that Inuyasha, I was so scared when I found out that you were gone, I thought that something might have happened. I should have believed that you would be alright, that you were going to recover completely, because you're Inuyasha. I should be the one that should apologize to you, I placed you in a near death situation, because of me you got bitten. I'm so sor..." I say to him.

I feel softness coming in contact with my lips with pressure, warm and caressing. I realize that Inuyasha is kissing me, my eyes are wide at the suddenness. Inuyasha's left hand comes up and holds my face as he kisses me deeply, our lips part from each other slowly and he brushes a lock of my hair away from my face. My breathing has become heavy.

"I wouldn't let anything hurt you, I would jump in front of danger to protect you. I can't stand losing you__________, I would rather die than see you hurt, you have been through enough already, so don't apologize." He tells me affectionately.

I can feel my eyes wondering side to side as I listen to him, I feel overwhelming love.

"I was so scared of losing you, I never felt so useless. You got bit my a snake demon and I couldn't even feel the bite marks on your skin, I couldn't see how much you were in pain until it was too late." I tell him crying.

"I know, and I apologize. Don't feel useless, you saved me, you realized that I was going to die and went to go get help. I feel bad and stupid for not telling you about it because I didn't want you to worry about me, and I thought that it wasn't anything too serious, I was confident enough that my body would get rid of any venom. Turns out I was wrong, and I'm sorry for that." Inuyasha apologizes to me again.

"That's all I want from you, I don't want you to hide anything from me. If you're stuck or suffering from something I want you to tell me, I want to help you I want to be there for you like you have for me. So promise me Inuyasha, don't hold things in anymore. I don't want to lose you Inuyasha..." I tell him.

"Neither do I____________, I don't want to lose you too. I promise, I won't keep things anymore. Stop crying now alright? Your eyes and face are all red, it doesn't suit you." Inuyasha says wiping my tears from my face.

I take him hand in mine and I pout slightly, he's trying to lighten up the mood. I rest my head at the base of his neck, I can feel the long locks of his hair that frames his face brushing against my face. He rests his chin against my temple and he holds me close to him, his warmth envelops me completely, how I missed this feeling. I feel so tired all of sudden, I know I fell asleep but I don't think I slept properly because of my worries and fear. I think Inuyasha sensed it, I feel his right arm holding my back and his other hooking underneath my legs. He then stands up and holds me close.

"Let's go back home, you look like you could use a good rest." He tells me quietly.

"What about you? Don't you need rest to recover as well?" I ask him back.

"I don't know if I need to, but I think I would like to enjoy some time alone with my love that I haven't seen in 2 days almost. Let's go home." He says kissing my temple.

"Let's go home." I reply back.

I can hear Inuyasha and my bell chiming simultaneously as he walked. I don't feel hungry, I don't care what I look like right now. I have Inuyasha here with me again and that's all that matters, the rhythmic steps of Inuyasha feels hypnotic. After a while I feel him walking up onto the wooden platform, then him opening a door, the sunlight soon disappears and it becomes quiet. I then hear the door closing and Inuyasha walks to the middle of the room, I can hear the silk futon shifting. Inuyasha then descends the two of us down and lowers me gently, he then takes my hand in his and guides me to lie back down onto the softness. I can sense him lying down beside me as well. I turn onto my side to face him, I can smell the faint scent of him beside me. I feel so tired, I close my eyes but I want to stay awake I want to be with Inuyasha for a while longer. I hold his hand tightly with my single hand, I then feel him coming close and his nose brushes against mine affectionately. I use my other free hand and I reach up to find his dog ears, and I do. Furry and leathery, it flutters as I touch it. I smile.

"What are you doing?" He asks me confused.

"I just want to make sure that it's really you, that I'm not dreaming or it's someone else in front of me with your voice or something like that. I could be losing my mind right now and I won't even be able to tell because I'm blind." I say to him with sigh and a smile.

"Geez, you're not going out of your mind, it's really me. I'm here and I'm here to stay for a another good 100 years or even more, I'm not going to abandon you or leave you again. So rest easy." He tells me pulling me into his chest.

"I'll pray for that, I pray that I can be with you for as long as I live." I whisper to him as I rest my face in his kimono.

"You will, get some rest. No wonder you're becoming ditzy, you must have bee exhausted worrying about me. I'm alright now." He assures me.

I nod and I close my eyes, this feeling, everything is back to normal now. Soon, I doze off again. No worries or fear anymore. I regain consciousness slowly my head feels slightly woozy, I guess I overslept but it looked like my body needed to replenish my lack of sleep and stress from the day before. I prop myself up and I hold my head, I widen my eyes slightly to try and find my senses again, I then feel the space beside me. Nothing.

"Inuyasha?" I whisper out inside the room.

My hearing is slightly muffled due to my senses being off balance at the moment, I begin to wonder if I'm dreaming, if I dreamt that Inuyasha recovered. I begin to wonder if I'm dreaming now. I sigh and lower my head as I hold it, suddenly I feel a presence behind me. A pair of arms encircles around me and I feel silk hair brushing against my cheeks as something rests next to my head, I can feel soft breathing beside me. The suddenness surprised me and I gasp slightly, but then a familiar scent fills my nose as I turn my head to face who or what is resting next to me.

"Inuyasha?" I ask this person who's holding me.

"Yea, you're awake. I thought you were going to sleep till the next day." I hear his voice.

I feel my heart relaxing finally, a rush of anxiety leaving my body and I feel lighter. I turn my body to face him, and I lift both of my hands to touch his face, when I find his smooth warm face I could only hold his face with my functional hand. I smile at him, I can feel both of his hands come up and holds mine with his big warm ones.

"Am I dreaming still? Are you really alright now?" I ask him trying to make sure.

"Guess you did overslept, your head is becoming a bit woozy? Don't worry, I'm better, I'm alright now, so don't worry about me anymore__________. You're not losing me that easily and I won't leave you that easily either." I hear him assure me caressing my face.

I nod my head and I take a deep breath, I close my eyes to find my composure. I then feel warm lips coming in contact with mine, it caresses my lips and I open my eyes in surprise once again. Inuyasha is kissing me, Inuyasha is a rash person but this kiss contains tenderness and love. I return the kiss, a gesture of how much we've missed each other. Our lips finally part after while and we rest our foreheads together, Inuyasha softly nuzzles his nose with mine, his rough bangs pressed against my forehead tickles.

"What time is it now?" I ask him.

"It's evening now, I think Sango is making dinner right now. You hungry?" He answers me.

"I'm alright, but I think going out for a walk would be nice, we've been cooped up in here for a while. I suppose I should go see Sango and Miroku too." I say.

"Let's go do that." Inuyasha replies with an energetic voice.

He doesn't sound like someone who was poisoned, he sounds just like the Inuyasha that I know and love, the demon that I love. Inuyasha pulls me up and smoothing out my night wear, he takes my hand and we head to the big hut. When we exit out of the hut, the cool evening spring air touches my skin and I feel refreshed. Our feet crunches on the gravel as we walked, Inuyasha's big hands holding mine in his, and I feel safe again. Soon we arrive at the hut, I can smell food and voices inside. The curtain rustles and Inuyasha guides me inside.

"________'s up, guess we're on time for dinner." Inuyasha says.

"____________, Inuyasha, you're here. Indeed, dinner is ready, both of you need to replenish your health. It has been a long two days, come sit." I hear Sango's warm voice saying.

Inuyasha guides me to the table and we both sit down, I hear bowls being set down on the wooden table with a gentle clinks.

"Let's eat." I hear Miroku say.

"Yes! I'm starving!" Shippo says with excitement.

"Thank you for all your help, where is Myoga by the way?"I say to them.

"Myoga went back home." Inuyasha replies.

"Ah... wish he stayed and ate dinner with us." I say a little bit disappointed not being able to get to know him better.

We all eat dinner together, although it's only been a few days since we ate together, but it felt like forever. How not having one person here can change so much in one's daily routine, I begin to understand what it felt like for Inuyasha when he lost Kagome. After we finish dinner, we had tea together and caught up a little bit about what happened in the past day or so. An hour or so goes by and we bid Miroku, Shippo, and Sango goodnight. Inuyasha guides me outside of the hut, my face feels warm but the cool air of the night feels soothing.

"How about going to the cliff and have some alone time for a bit?" I hear Inuyasha ask me.

I smile and I feel my eyes wondering around, I nod my head in agreement.

"I'd love that." I reply back giving his big war hand a squeeze.

I then feel him letting my hand go slightly and putting my arm around his neck, and he hooks his arms under my legs and he lifts me up onto his back. I was taken off guard but I hold onto him, I rest my chin on his left shoulder. His long fringes tickles my cheek and I can hear light whoosh of his dog ears above me.

"Hold on tight." I hear him say to me.

"I'll try with my one functional hand." I reply back with a chuckle.

I hear him blow a raspberry, then I feel the wind pick up. I hear his breathing next to me as he runs, my hair tickles my face and I can hear the rustling of our kimonos and the chimes of the bells on my wrist and around his neck. I close my eyes and I let the quietness and the cool wind surround me, I don't know how long time has passed, but the momentum slowing down and the wind stopping makes me open my eyes again. I can hear the grass below Inuyasha's feet as he walks, after a few seconds he stops. He sets me down gently, and I can hear the wind moving across the land.

"Are we here?" I ask him.

"Ya, come on let's go sit on top of the tree branch." He says taking my hand.

"On the tree branch?" I ask him surprised.

"Ya? You don't want to?" He asks me.

"No, not at all. I just didn't expect you to ask me something like that since I was the one that is always at at the bottom while your on the tree branch." I reply back with a chuckle.

"Ya I suppose it was wasn't it? Well it's not like that anymore, come on." He says.

He guides me to what I assume the bottom of the tree, he then hooks his arms under my legs and behind my back and I hook my left arm around his neck. I then feel him lower slightly and then jumping into the air, I close my eyes as I feel the air pushing down against me and gravity trying to pull me down. Although it is trying to pull me down, Inuyasha continues to go higher. He then lands on something and I can hear the rustling of leaves, which I realized that we are on the tree branch now. He lowers me down carefully and holds my hand again, he guides me to the left. I feel like I'm stuck and I can't move, because I can't see. I can't seem to take a step forward or to the side. I start to become frustrated as I feel Inuyasha gently pulling me.

"I can't Inuyasha, I can't take a step, I don't know how wide the branch is. I might fall." I say to him.

"It's alright, I'm here, just trust me. I'm here to guide you remember? I won't let you fall." He assures me.

"I know Inuyasha, I trust you. I just don't know if I trust myself." I tell him with a sigh.

"Trust yourself, I'll describe everything to you. The tree trunk isn't far it's only 4 steps away." He tells me.

I take a deep breath and I close my eyes, I nod my head.

"The branch is right in front of you, it's a pretty big tree so don't worry. Just balance yourself and take steps forward, don't overthink too much, I'll guide you." He tells me taking hold of my other hand.

I listened and step forward, and he was right. My foot lands on solid surface and it's the tree branch. One step after another until Inuyasha tells me to stop.

"Good job, let's sit down." He tells me squeezing my hand gently.

I nod, he shifts me slightly to the side and guides the two of us to sit down on the branch, he holds my hand tightly and helps me keep my balance. After I sit down on the branch, I feel Inuyasha pull me into him gently. My back leans against his back as he wraps his strong arms around me, his body heat envelops me completely and I feel loved. My feet dangles off the side of the branch, I can hear Inuyasha's breathing next to me. We don't talk and instead we just leaned against the tree trunk and let the sound of the night surround us, and each other's presence. I want to see, I want to see what it is like right now. This place is so special to Inuyasha, it was a place that he wanted to bring Kagome to and instead he brought me here. Because he loves me now, he wanted to show me all the places that is important to him because he couldn't for the woman that he loved before me. I've been here many times already but today seem so special, but unfortunately... I can't see. I feel so frustrated, and I feel desperate now. I wished at this moment so bad to be able to see, I close my eyes and I asked myself. I know I always wanted to regain my vision, how I told myself that this is something that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. But, can I be selfish just this once, can I just wish for this one thing. I open my eyes slowly and with frustration and desperation, I open my mouth.

"Inuyasha... I want to see..." I say quietly into the night. 

 

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