I let out a smile.

"I don't think I'm gaining anything much from it, but I feel like getting to know you better isn't such a bad thing. Why do you think I want something, stop making me sound like a heartless person. Besides, Miroku and the others wants you to be lively again. I suppose it will be nice to know the you from years before." I reply back with a teasing pout.

There's another brief silence from him, but I decided that I'll wait patiently until he replies. Until he completely pushes me away, that's when I'll give up. Otherwise, if there's small hint that he wants to talk, I'll try my best to make him want to tell me willingly.

"Why do you even want to know and dig into someone else's past, it won't help you much. So why bother?" Inuyasha asks me.

"There's a thing called first impressions, when I first met you I thought you were an arrogant jerk. But the things about first impressions, is that sometimes, it turns out to be completely wrong. You could say that I would like to get to know you better so that I can change my perception of you." I say to him.

"Maybe your first impression was right about me, maybe I am an arrogant jerk." He responds with a flat emotionless tone.

"You say that, but Miroku, Sango and the others don't think so... and I'm sure the people that use to be here remembers you as someone that made everyone smile with your liveliness each day. Everyone except for me, and from some occasions, I can sense that you're someone that's capable of doing things that's completely opposite of a jerk." I add with a small smile.

"How did you know if I was someone that made other's smile or not, how did you know I was lively or not? We only known each other for  2 weeks." Inuyasha asks me.

"Miroku and the others told me, and taking the words from people who has been by your side for over 50 years compared to 2 weeks, my first impression of you definitely changed. I just hope that you can open up to me a little bit, trust me a little, either if it's your unspoken feelings or pasts that you kept hidden away. I'll be here to listen." I reply back.

Silence fills the air, I can here Inuyasha's breathing. I want to do something , something to make him see that I'm here to help lighten up his heart a little. What can I do? I begin to tap on my walking stick but then something hits me, perhaps this may get something through to him.

"Inuyasha, I want you to try something." I say to him with a smile.

"What is it? You better not make me look like a fool." He replies with a grumble.

"Stop making me into a bad person, geez. You don't need to get up or anything, sitting here is enough, I want to try something with you. Are you willing to trust me and try it?" I ask him.

I hold my breath as I wait for Inuyasha to reply back to me, but then I hear a sigh.

"Fine, what is this thing that you want me to do?" He responds.

"I'm happy that you're willing to try this out. I want you to relax your body and mind, lean back against the tree trunk, close your eyes and listen." I tell him.

"What if I don't close my eyes, and don't lean my body against the tree trunk?" He asks me back.

I smile into the emptiness that fills my vision.

"You gave me your word that you will try it, so I will place my trust in those words." I answer him back.

Inuyasha doesn't respond back right away, but I hear him exhale and a light bump.

"Alright, my eyes are closed and I'm leaning against the tree trunk, now what?" He asks.

"I want you to relax your mind and heart, don't think of anything, free your body and mind from everything, and just listen to everything around you, follow the sound and let it guide you to wherever you desire." I explain to him.

"Alright." Inuyasha responds with some tint of life in his voice.

I position my walking stick against the other side of the tree trunk, when wood hits against wood it creates a quick echoless knocking sound. Making that knocking sound in a controlled repeated rhythm, it can be quiet hypnotizing. I wait for a few seconds and start to knock my walking stick against the tree trunk, immediately, "tock tock' sounds fills the space around us in a rhythmic beat. As I listen to the knocking, I also pay attention to Inuyasha's breathing. Right now his breathing is heavy and evident, a bit off beat , and filled with heavy emotions. I keep on knocking, since my walking stick is thin, each knock sends vibrations through my hands, adding on to the coldness of the Winter weather, it's painful, but I endure it. Minutes pass, and I continue to listen to his breathing. Little by little I can hear that his breathing has slowed down, becoming more controlled, more quieter. Like he's fallen into a slumber, I continue to knock a few more minutes, and I let my knocks become softer and quieter and eventually stop. I relax my body against the tree and I tilt my head towards Inuyasha and I listen to his quiet breathing, I suppose this could be a start. I want Inuyasha to relax, get some rest without thinking of anything. I'd like to believe that I accomplished it, I listened and I waited, listening to Inuyasha sleeping it lightens my heart a bit to see him at peace. That day when he was sleeping he said "Kagome's" name, but he didn't call out her name completely. He sounded so much in pain, and I know that feeling of losing someone you love. I lost my parents at a young age and became an orphan. With that, I feel that I have something in common with Inuyasha. A small smile forms on my mouth, I look into the emptiness as I listened to the nature and Inuyasha's breathing. Minutes goes by, and soon, an hour has passed. I don't feel tired at all as I waited for Inuyasha.

"Hmm..." I hear Inuyasha stir beside me .

"I'm glad to see that you got some rest." I say to him.

"Well, it's not like I don't sleep." Inuyasha says with a yawn.

"Sure you sleep, but tell me, have you slept this peaceful in a while? Without anything on your mind and heart?" I ask him.

"I guess not and how did you know? Why did you do this exactly?" Inuyasha asks me with a curious tone.

"When a person has something clouding their mind and heart, it will take them a while to fall asleep. Their heavy sighs and off rhythmic breathing shows us as well, yours was evident, so evident. You fell asleep quite fast earlier, you seemed at peace. You let everything go and emptied your mind didn't you?" I ask him.

"Yea... I tried, and before I knew it, I was gone, my consciousness was somewhere else, somewhere that made me feel free..." Inuyasha slowly says quietly.

Inuyasha doesn't sound like he's lying, he sounds slightly dazed as if he's trying to recall what happened, and that is enough to tell me that everything he said was true.

"I'm happy it worked out. You see Inuyasha, I wanted to show you something besides just wanting you to get a good rest. You allowed me to try this with you, and it had a good outcome. You trusted me, I want to show you that, you can trust me with other things as well, feelings, past, worries, thoughts, anything. What we done today is just a start, but I want to let you know that if you can trust me, I will try my best to help lighten any thoughts and feelings that are holding you down. I understand and know that everyone wants to create a mask so that no one can see past the surface and into their feelings and past, I have one myself. I think we have things in common, and perhaps we can use those things that we have in common to have a heart to heart conversation, a normal conversation between two beings." I say with a smile.

Inuyasha doesn't say anything, the winter air breezes across the empty field.

"You say that you have a mask, what are you hiding underneath it? I you want me to trust you with my past and hidden feelings, then tell me yours first." Inuyasha tells me.

A bargain huh? Sure I can do that, if it means to have Inuyasha trust me with his inner thoughts and past, then I'll tell him. I turn my face forward again even thought I can't see anything.

"Alright. There's a saying that goes, smiling doesn't necessarily mean you're happy, it just means you're strong. When I was about 15, both of my parents passed away, I was left an orphan. I had a place to stay in an orphanage, but that was about it. I remember like it was yesterday. I was alone, except for the fact that I'll be blind in a few years accompanying me everyday of every minute. It was scary knowing that one day I won't be able to see the colors of the world I reside in, it took me a while to move on from losing my parents. They left me at an age when they weren't suppose to, but they did, so it hit be pretty hard. But I knew that I can't keep chaining myself in a world that I wished could've happened, because by doing that, I may be missing out on what the future can hold for me. I let time do it's job and I told myself to let my past go little by little each day, because I knew that telling myself to move on right away won't do me any good. That's the thing with minds, the more you tell it to do something, the more it won't, and the more you don't want it to do something, the more it will. So the only thing that you can do, is to tell it to move on slowly and little by little till eventually, it becomes a distant memory. We can never forget something completely, but we can learn to put it behind us, lock that memory away in the deepest part of our minds. I eventually did, now whenever I think of my parents, I don't focus on the painful past, but on the good times. Years has passed since then, and I realized that the memories of my past don't even come up anymore. I learned to let go of the things that pained me, it took a while because I had no one to talk to, I thought I was meant to be alone, but I managed by myself over time. A few years of hard mental work, but the effort has allowed me to walk onto a completely new path." I tell him recalling my memories.

"I didn't know you were an orphan... I'm sorry." Inuyasha says with a gentle tone.

"Well I don't go around telling everyone this, you're the first person I told since. I would have kept it hidden till the end, but I'm opening my unspoken past to you so that you can trust me with yours." I answer him with a soft chuckle.

Inuyasha lets out a heavy sigh, and I hear slight movements.

"Since you told me a part of your past, I suppose it is right that I tell you mine. What do you want to know?" Inuyasha says depleted of energy in his voice.

"It's not what I want to know, it's what you want to get off your chest. I want you to see me as a box, a box that you can just pour out your unspoken feelings into and hopefully get the reward that is at the bottom. But, if you want a start, how about tell me who's name you were trying to call out that day when you were sleeping up in the tree?" I say to him.

"What did I say exactly?" Inuyasha responds back.

"You said "Ka" it seemed like you were saying someone's name but you trailed off. When I asked you that day you just brushed it off. So I want to know if you were calling someone's name instead of "basket" and if so, who is this person to you." I remind him.

There's no reply from Inuyasha for a second, but he lets out another sigh.

"Yes, I assume I was calling someone's name, the name was Kagome, she was my wife." Inuyasha finally responds.

So it was her, he's still holding on to her. I nod in understanding, I already know the history and who she is, but I want to hear it from Inuyasha himself.

"I see, I can't help but notice that everytime Miroku and the other's mentions about how they wish everyone were here again, your mood changes into a solemn one, and especially when Sesshomaru mentioned Kagome. Did something happen?" I ask him.

"Yes, she passed away a few years ago." Inuyasha goes on.

"How did she die?" I push on.

"From age, she just reached into her 70's but passed away. It sounds funny and pathetic because in this era, it's about time that someone of her age has passed on...but I just can't let her go." Inuyasha says quietly.

"I don't find it pathetic at all, she was your wife, she was someone you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with. For a demon, 70 years must be nothing to you all, but for us, it feels almost a lifetime. So missing someone you love and unable to move on from their memories isn't something pathetic at all. Everyone wants to hold on and wish the person dearest to them are still here, so the only way is to chain ourselves to the past, to the past when everything was what we wished for." I explain to him.

"I suppose you're right..." Inuyasha breaths out.

"How long have you and Kagome been married for?" I ask trying to lighten the mood by switching topic.

"Over 50 years. She actually came from the future, Miroku, Sango, Shippo, Kagome, and I went on so many journeys together back then. We had laughs, we argued, cried, and quarrelled, but we also had fun." Inuyasha says recalling the past.

As I listened, I can feel a tint of life in his voice as he explains, and I feel that that there, is another progress. He's able to talk about the past.

"I see, a lot of beautiful memories, and fun ones as well. You all grew up together, matured together and started a family together. Now I'm curious again, but did you and Kagome ever had a child?" I ask him.

I hear Inuyasha sigh.

"No, no we never had a child in the 50 years that we were married." He says.

"Why not?" I say to him.

"I wanted to start a family, but Kagome became a priestess. Priestess are meant to be pure and they are to keep their chastity, so that prevented Kagome and I from having children. It was a wish that never came true for me but I had to understand that being a Priestess was important to Kagome. So I let that wish go. The only possibility was for Kagome to retire from her Priestess role, which was doubtful." Inuyasha answers.

"So you wanted children, it's a nice hope to have. You know, listening to you telling me about your past and how you are feeling, it helped me to understand you in a complete different angle. You mentioned that you were all like family, so I assume that Kagome were very close to Miroku and the others as well, but they seem to have moved on from the loss, can you tell me why you are still holding onto Kagome? If it's comfortable to talk about of course." I ask him.

I know why because Miroku told me, but I want him to tell me personally. Because this question will provide me the answer as to why Inuyasha is chaining himself to the memories of Kagome. I wait for him to reply like I have for the past hour or so.

"Because Kagome has helped me move on from a barricade in my life. Before Kagome, I met a priestess named Kikyo, which was Kaede's older sister. We were in love, but Kikyo died after deciding to give up her priestess role and spend the rest of her life with me. Then years later, she was resurrected. At the same time, Kagome came into the picture and along with Naraku, a demon who wanted the Shikon Jewel for evil and killed Kikyo. Kagome and I spent a lot of time together due to us trying to extinguish Naraku, and over time we fell in love. But, after meeting Kikyo again, my affections for her came back. Kagome did her best to hide her feelings for me, she did a lot for me. When Kikyo sacrificed herself for me the second time, Kagome was there to comfort me. Slowly, she helped me move on and let go of Kikyo. I eventually realized that Kagome was the one, she has always been there and did her best to make me happy. Now, she's gone, and I feel that I'll never find someone like her again. We've been together for over 50 years, we rarely fought, we loved each other, but I felt that there were so many things that Kagome and I didn't do, the places we couldn't go to because of her duty as a Priestess. Since she's gone now, I could only hold on to the past, but the past contains a lot of moments that eats away at me." Inuyasha tells me in one go.

"A lot of regrets, regrets that you couldn't do more for her after all she has done for you." I say labeling the emotion.

"Ya..." Inuyasha replies with a sigh.

"It's natural to feel that way, but I want to tell you something Inuyasha. Kindness and compassion is one's choice, a payback is not necessary. You don't need to give something back that's more than what they gave you, it would be pointless then. Sometimes, the only thing the person wants in return, is an appreciation and realization, Kagome showed you kindness and compassion, and her love. Having you love her back and realizing the effort she has put in to see you smile, that is the biggest reward. You don't need to beat yourself down and be chained to regrets and the past, they say that the ones left behind hurts the most, but the ones that left would have never wished to bring pain to the people that loved them. Can you take in what I'm saying?" I ask him.

I wait for him, wait for him to comprehend everything because I know Inuyasha's stubborn. But, I trust that he can open up his heart a little and at least think about what I said.

"I understand what you're trying to get through to me." Inuyasha says with a lighter sigh.

I then hear him lean back against the tree trunk again, the field becomes quiet. I close my eyes and breath in the cool air.

"After telling me all this today, how do you feel? Years of bottled up feelings, you finally let it out." I ask him after a few seconds of quiet and serenity.

"I feel that I can breathe now, now that I have let it all out, my heart and mind feels lighter." Inuyasha responds back with a lighter tone in his voice as he inhales and exhales deeply.

"I'm happy to hear that, they say that sometimes, it takes someone out of the family to make a change. If today has helped you in any sort of way, I'm happy." I say with a smile.

"It was difficult and somehow uncomfortable...but thanks." Inuyasha adds.

"No one said it was easy." I say with a grin.

I hear Inuyasha let out a "hmph", and I smile.

"I suppose, it's getting late, let's head back. I've seen enough of the white scenery for today." Inuyasha says getting up.

"Ya. I need to get up and move a bit, been sitting too long." I say with a stitch.

I use my walking stick to pull myself up, Getting up not even half way, I flop right back down. I shut my eyes and hold my breath, a strong paralyzing and tingling feeling runs through my legs. I've been sitting with a slight kneeling position for hours that they fell asleep and went numb. Not to mention, I just realize that my face feel slightly numb from the cold and along with my feet and hands. I in a sharp breath as I try to regain some senses back into my legs and hands.

"Are you alright?" Inuyasha asks me back to his normal sharp tone.

"I'm alright... but I think my legs fell asleep and it went numb from the cold." I tell him.

I hear him let out a sigh and then I feel a presence in front of me, at the same level as me.

"Inuyasha?" I say his name.

"Get on, I'll carry you back."Your nose is purple like a grape." He replies.

Inuyasha just offered to carry me back to the village, he's more thoughtful and compassionate than he perceives himself. I smile, I lean forward and I feel his silk kimono against my palms. I feel my way up his back until I find his shoulders, along the way I felt his long hair. They were slightly rough and thick, I part my kimono slightly so I can wrap my legs around his waist a bit. I lock my arms in front of his chest and I rest my head next to his slightly to the back, his long hair rests against my face. I can hear his breathing in front of me, Inuyasha's arms hooks around my legs and he stands up. I tighten my arms more around him and hold on tight.

"Don't choke me to death alright." Inuyasha says.

"If you say it again, maybe I will. Also, I think it's safe to say that our first impression of each other were wrong?" I reply back with a sarcastic tone.

"I think it's safe to say that." He replies.

Inuyasha let's out a quiet grumble, and I chuckle. Inuyasha then starts walking through the snow, His steps are rhythmic, step, step, It almost syncs with my heart beat. His breathing is rhythmic as well, it's soothing to listen to, not to mention I can feel the warmth from his body against my front side. I rest my chin on his left shoulder, his long hair tickling me occasionally. Something then comes to me.

"You know, this is the first time we are actually this close, you usually just grab my walking stick and pull me along." I say with a light chuckle.

"Hmm., I suppose you're right." He responds.

I smile and I adjust my arms around his shoulders, I close my eyes since I can't see anything and I listen to the crunching of the snow beneath Inuyasha's bare feet. As I listened to the snow, I unconsciously hear Inuyasha's breathing, his inhales and exhales. How lighter they sound, they sound free of being weighed down by his past, his past that he opened up to me about today. I smile knowing that Inuyasha trusted me today, enough to let me see into his heart by his words and allowing me to dig it out from being buried in the cold snow.