"What do you mean?" Inuyasha asks me slightly confused.

"What would you do, and how would you feel if I told you that there's someone in this world that loves you?" I ask him again.

"I don't know." He replies in a quiet tone.

"To tell you the truth, I've been in love with you for quite a while now Inuyasha." I finally tell him.

I feel my heart beating faster as I said that, but I finally got it out and to the person that my feelings are meant for. I hear Inuyasha let out a quiet gasp.

"What?" Inuyasha says with slight disbelief in his voice.

"I know it's a bit sudden and perhaps a bit much for you to handle, but I don't think I can hold back my feelings anymore. I love you Inuyasha, I love you so much to the point that it pains me to tell you this. Because I know that your heart still belongs to Kagome, by telling you this I know I'm being selfish because I'm giving you this burden of my feelings when you are still in the process of moving on." I go on to explain.

"Then why tell me?" Inuyasha asks me with a low voice.

"Because I want to tell someone one of my inner most feelings for a change, my love for you Inuyasha. Now that I've told you, can you answer my question from earlier? Knowing that there's someone out there who loves you for you, what would you do? Would you learn to open up your heart again?" I ask him one more time.

Inuyasha doesn't say anything, so I wait like I always have.

"I don't think I'll be doing anything, my heart s still closed off to love. I don't know when it will open up again and I don't know if I want it to." He finally says.

I feel my heart drop, but I don't want to give up. He's stubborn, so I'll be just as persistent.

"I can wait." I tell him confidently.

"What?" He asks me surprised and slightly shocked.

"If you say that one day that you can learn to open up your heart again, I'll wait. I'll wait till that day. I want to help you overcome it no matter how long it will take." I tell him.

"Why would you do that? My heart has been shut off for years, I don't think it will open to anyone ever again." He answers back.

Although he says that, but I can hear in his voice that he's hesitant and he sounds worried about something.

"Remember what I said Inuyasha? Anything that you don't want to do, no one can force you. I'm not asking you to say that you love me or anyone, I know your heart is closed off. I told you my feelings because I can't suppress them anymore. What I want to know is, now that you know that there's someone that loves you, will you learn to find the key to unlock your heart and learn to love someone else?"

"No." He says simply.

I feel my heart stop again, devastation hits me hard from that one single word.

"Why?" I ask him dumbstruck.

"Because all love does is bring me pain. I told you, I lost Kikyo, and I lost Kagome. They were two of the women that I loved the most. I have told myself to never love anyone else again." Inuyasha explains himself.

"So it's about pain and lost again? Are you that scared of them that you won't allow you to feel one of the most precious feelings again? Winter is coming to an end in less than 2 weeks, and I'll be leaving. But if you want me to stay I'll stay. I'll swallow my feelings for you and pretend that they never existed and I'll stay by your side as someone who you can tell your heartache and thoughts too until the day you won't feel anymore pain. Will you allow me to do that Inuyasha? Will you allow me to be that person?" I ask him trying to hold my tears.

Inuyasha once again doesn't respond, but I can hear his breathing, they are slightly off rhythm.

" I don't want you to, you are going to leave in less than 2 weeks, so just go on with your life. I'll be leaving in the morning and I most likely won't be back till you leave, so throw away that thought of yours. Besides, I'm tired of telling you my feelings, to tell you the truth I never moved on from Kagome, not even a little." Inuyasha says flatly.

I feel my brows furrowing as he said that, I stumble backwards slightly.

"Are you saying that in these past 2 months or so, all of my efforts were in vain, and you found me a nuisance?" I ask him quietly.

I hear him let out a deep breath, I wish I could decipher that exhale but I find my mind clouded with the pain from my heart.

"All the bantering and moments that we had together, all of those conversations that we had, were they nothing to you?" I ask him again.

"Ya, I got sick and tired of taking you around after a while, I realized how incapable you were and how you need someone to guide you all the time or else you can't go anywhere or do anything. I it up because in the end it was a job that I was given." Inuyasha answers me.

I feel like I was stabbed with a knife, and instead of bleeding, I feel congested like I can't breath.

"Do you really mean all that? If so, why tell me now?" I ask him feeling tears coming down my face.

"I'm telling you all this now because you are leaving soon and I won't be back here before you leave. Also, since we are having a heartfelt conversation here, I'm telling you how I'm feeling. So if you're going to leave, leave. Don't think you need to stick to me and try to help me, everything that you've done was pointless, I'm still the me that can't let Kagome go no matter what, and no matter how much you'll try, my heart won't open up again to anyone else." He says finishing off.

I feel my mind completely blank out, my heart has become frozen. I feel my eyes wondering around everywhere hoping to see something at this moment. But I can't and his words hits me again. Because I'm blind that I can't do things that people who can see are capable of, I can't go to some places without someone guiding me. I feel weak and useless, but his words came out way too harsh. I take a deep breath to calm myself down.

"Let me ask you this one last thing. Do you regret meeting me? Do you regret bringing me to this village that day?" I ask him.

Inuyasha doesn't respond back right away like always, I hear the bell on his neck ring gently.

"Yes, I regret meeting you and taking you to this village." He finally says.

I close my eyes upon hearing his words, my heart dropped and I feel them shatter. I told him my feelings but in return, he has hurt me with the most painful words. Although he has hurt me, I know it hurt a lot due to the reason that I love him so much, even after everything he said.

"I have never regretted meeting you Inuyasha." I say to him quietly.

Yes, I found him annoying and arrogant the first day that I met him, but I never regretted the meeting. I then hear him walk up to me, he stops in front of me. I then hear the chimes of the bell of his necklaces echoing in the openness. He then grabs my hand and flips it up, I feel him drop something into my palm, and once again the bell chimes and stop. No...

"For this stupid thing, it felt like a leash, it was suffocating. Now I can give it back to you because I won't be needing it in the days to come. If you have nothing else to say I'll be leaving." He says.

I feel him drop my hand, I close my fingers around the necklace so that it won't drop to the ground. I feel so congested and in pain, tears are coming down my face. I hear him walking away from his footsteps in the snow.

"Do you really want me to leave Inuyasha?! if you want me to stay, I'll give up everything to stay here. I have come to treasure our times together, but if you want me to leave, I'll leave." I shout after him.

I hear the footsteps stop.

"Leave, I don't want you to stay. I don't treasure the times together unlike you, so leave. Also, if you are looking for an answer to your confession I'll tell you... I don't love you back and I won't ever, so don't bothering trying to wait for me or help me anymore. Goodbye." Inuyasha says.

I then hear him walk away again, I couldn't say anything. I feel like I lost all of my senses, my sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste. Everything around me feels like they don't even exist, I don't even feel as if I exist. I drop my walking stick and it hits the snow, I collapse onto my knees and I hold the bell necklace in my palms. How did a simple question come to a conclusion like this? I hold the bell necklace in my palms tightly as I let my tears fall, I didn't sleep at all. I grabbed the cover of my futon and I just sat against a wall, Since all I see is nothing I felt like I got lost in the dark emptiness even though I'm awake. I wish I could shut off my feelings so that I don't have to feel the pain of loving someone, I eventually lost my consciousness, but my eyes are still open. I feel like I fell into an emotional coma. Eventually I hear the birds chirping and it brought my senses back slightly, morning is here. My mind feels hazy and numb, I don't want to get up and go out but I force myself to. The bracelet on my wrist rings as I move in hours, it doesn't do anything for me, I still feel like I'm lost in a haze of fake and numbness. I head to the door, I put my hand on the door and I take a deep breath. With my walking stick in my right hand, I open the door with my left and with Inuyasha's necklace tuck tightly in my kimono. The Winter air touches my face and I shiver slightly, aside from the late Winter air, I don't sense anything else, no other presence. Inuyasha's presence isn't here, knowing that he's not here makes me think back to those times when he waited for me every morning. For me, seeing him as the person who was suppose to guide me to wherever I wanted to go, has completely surpassed it. He is the person that I have come to love, but for him, in the end it was only a task that he was given. I close my eyes and shake my head, he has set off with Miroku I assume, so I won't feel his presence anymore. I step into the close to melted snow still accompanied by the cold Winter air, my walking stick moves around the ground as I remember the way to the big hut. After a while I finally arrive. I open the curtains and I can smell breakfast.

"Good morning____________." Sango's voice says greeting me.

"Good morning." I respond back with a bow.

"Good morning!" I hear Shippo's energetic voice says from behind me.

It surprised me slightly but I smile upon hearing his voice, it brightens up the mood greatly. We all greet him back, the three of us sit down for breakfast. Unlike before, I don't feel like doing anything, although I'm not hungry but I force myself to eat a little it.

"___________, are you alright dear? You look tired." Sango's voice says.

"Eh? I guess I didn't sleep well last night, I am feeling a bit sleepy. Also I'm not really feeling well." I say to her with a tired smile.

"Sleep is important, well if you are feeling tired now then go get some sleep after breakfast, get as much rest as you need dear." Sango says holding my hand.

"Thank you." I say to her bowing my head.

After breakfast, we all clean up then I head back to my hut. Shippo went out to spend the day with his fellow fox demons, Sango is out to do her duties. I put aside my walking stick and Iie down onto my futon, I take out the bell necklace and place it beside me. I lay on my back as I "look" up. My thoughts automatically trails off to Inuyasha.

"Was it necessary to say all those things Inuyasha? Why did you have to hurt me like that..." I ask in my mind.

I feel my heart becoming congested again, I take a deep breath and I close my eyes before my tears starts forming. I remember telling Inuyasha to listen to the quietness and to a rhythmic beat, and empty out your mind. Let go of all the thoughts that are chaining you. Such irony, because right now I can't do any of that. Although the room is quiet, but my ears are ringing. My heart is beating out of rhythm and my mind is clouded with painful thoughts, I close my eyes even tighter. Empty out your mind, empty out your mind. Eventually I fall asleep. I don't know what time it is when I come to, I must have slept for a very long time because my head feels woozy. I hit my forehead lightly a few times hoping that I can wake up, wake up from everything, but I know it's not a dream. I stand up and stretch, I guess I should see if Sango is back. I head to the big hut unaware of what time it is, after a while I finally arrive. I lift the curtains again, I can smell food again.

"Sango are you back?" I ask after entering the tent.

"Ah, ___________ you're up. You must have been very tired it's dinner time." Sango says with a light chuckle.

What? I slept through the afternoon and evening, my eyes widen in shock.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry." I say with a bow.

"Why are you apologizing? You were tired so getting rest is a must, get as much rest as you need." Sango says coming up and holding my hand as always.

Shippo comes in eventually and the three of us have dinner together, I try my best to put up a face so that they won't see my chaotic emotions. After dinner I head to bed again, I change into my nightwear and I sit on my futon. The quietness surrounds me, in my hands are my bracelet and the necklace that I made for Inuyasha. I made it for him hoping to help him move on from the link that connected him and the sad memories of Kagome, but in the end, it was useless. He said that it felt suffocating and in the end has caused me pain instead, I wonder if I can hold on for another week. I'll try my best to suppress my feelings, I want to spend a bit more time with Sango and Shippo before I leave. I'll hold on until I can't anymore. I decide to lock away my feelings tonight, I'll pretend that I never had them before. A day ends and the next day arrives and then the next, I distract myself with drawings. Distract myself with what I'm good at, the only thing that can make me forget about Inuyasha for a while. But the moment I put the charcoal stick down, thoughts of him comes back in an instant. I hate myself for being weak, of not getting him out of my mind. I feel suffocated myself, I feel like I'm chained here by my feelings. Another day goes by eventually a day has turned into 4, I was alright for the first 2 days but I realized that it's not going anywhere. If I want to let these feelings go, I have to leave this place. I originally wanted to wait till Inuyasha comes back and talk to him, but his words were eating away at me. I eventually realized that I also don't have the confidence to face him, if I were to go up to him again, what would I say? There's nothing left for me to say. I can't stay here anymore.

"Lady Sango, Shippo, I have something to tell you." I say to them after finishing dinner on the fifth night since I confessed to Inuyasha.

"Yes dear what is it?" Sango's kind voice answers me back.

"Winter is coming to an end, which means I should resume my original plan. I'll be leaving tomorrow." I say to them.

"Why so sudden? Winter is still not quite over yet, why don't you stay a few more days until Inuyasha and Miroku comes back, that way we can all send you off." Sango replies slightly taken aback.

I hold onto the the bell bracelet, it rings gently. I can't. I shake my head side to side.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to wait for Inuyasha and Miroku to come back. I have a goal that I would like to fulfill as soon as I can." I say to her.

"And what may that goal be?" She asks me.

"I would like to go to different villages and learn different styles and genre's of art, and hopefully I'll be able to find one that can make me feel even more happy and will be special to me than what I know now." I answer her with a sad smile, a lie has been told.

There's a brief silence.

"There's something on your mind isn't there?" Shippo suddenly asks me.

I gasp slightly and my eyes begin to wonder around, I feel my heart drop.

"No, not at all why do you ask?" I answer him back with a brave smile.

"Clearly your dark circles are pretty evident which are telling us that you definitely haven't been sleeping well, or even sleeping at all. Your mood seem to have dropped drastically ever since Inuyasha and Miroku left that day. You use to be cheerful and you use to smile a lot, lately your smile seems forced. Tell us what is on your mind." Shippo points out.

Shippo is pretty observant despite his childish personality. He guessed right but I don't think it'll be good to tell them.

"Really it's nothing to be worried about, thank you for the your concerns." I assure them.

My chest feels tight as I try to hold in my heartache.

"Your facial expression tells us a lot______________, we want to help. You can trust us and tell us what is bothering you." Sango tells me.

"Yea, both Sango and I had noticed that something has been off for a while now but we waited for you to tell us, but now we don't think we can ignore it anymore. You've been helping Inuyasha a lot, let us help you lighten up any burdens if we can." Shippo says.

Hearing them say that, I feel my breath hitch, he's right. I told Inuyasha to open up and tell the people close to him this feelings, and yet I've become so close to them that I can't even tell them my own. I then hear a gentle chime, I come back to my senses. I reach into my kimono and take out the necklace, I realize that I was trembling a little but I take a deep breath. I then place the necklace on the table.

"Isn't that the necklace that you gave Inuyasha?" Shippo asks me.

"Yes, Inuyasha left it at my place a few days ago, so can you return it to him for me when he comes back?" I ask them with a smile.

"He should be back in a few days, why don't you wait till he comes back and give it to him personally?" Shippo points out.

"I don't think I'll be able to stay that long, the snow is starting to melt away and I should get going. I still have a lot of places to go to. So please, can you do me a favour and give this to him?" I ask them again.

There's a brief silence.

"Did you have a fallout with Inuyasha by chance? You sound like you're avoiding Inuyasha. Tell us____________, did something happen between you and Inuyasha?" Sango asks me slightly concerned.

My eyes widen in surprise, I gasp slightly. I think I just gave everything away, I let out a sigh I suppose they won't let this go unless I tell them.

"Yes, Inuyasha and I had a fallout, I thought we were on good terms, but in the end Inuyasha didn't see it that way." I finally tell them.

"That's not all is there? You seemed pretty depressed as of a few days ago, even as friends, a fallout shouldn't put you in such a state, there's something more is there? You sound like someone who is in love." Sango says.

I sigh and hang my head, guess I really can't hide anything at all, she guessed everything right.

"You guessed everything right, Yes... I am in love....and the one that I'm in love with is Inuyasha." I finally confess.

"Inuyasha... you confessed to him?" Shippo says surprised.

"Yes, but it didn't end well." I tell them with a strained smile.

"What happened? What did he say? " Sango says.

"He said that he doesn't love me back, due to him not able to let Kagome go." I asked him if he could ever open up his heart again and able to love if he knew that someone else in this world loves him. He said that he will never love again and that he can't move on." I tell them.

I left out everything that he said that has hurt me and only to them the most important parts, because everything else is directed solely to me. I feel congested again and I clear my throat.

"He still can't let go, how stubborn can he be?" Shippo says with an annoyed growl.

"I thought you two were making progress, Inuyasha seemed more livelier since you came, didn't think that he's still holding on to the past, and pushed away someone who has come to love him aside from us. It's natural that feelings would bloom the more time you spend with someone. It's such a shame and regretful to here that all of your effort made no indent, I could only hope that something must have gotten to him even if it's just a little. I can't let this slip, When Inuyasha comes back, have a talk with him___________, don't give up yet just because he rejected you, Inuyasha is a very passionate and affectionate person. He just needs some sense put into him forcefully. It's about time for him to wake up and see that there are love all around him. If things don't work, Miroku and I will have a long talk with him." Sango says with a sigh.

How I wish I can sit in front of him and talk with him, but I know that I can't. I have lost my confidence, I don't think I can stand him saying that he can't love another person again, I don't have the confidence to hear his voice, it will pain me too much. He said that he's still the him when he lost Kagome, and if a person doesn't have the will or desire to move on, then in the end, the efforts from others will be for nothing. I shake my head.

" I don't think I'll be able to, I don't think a talk will go anywhere. I'll be fine, I'll move on eventually, I just need some time. I'm planning on leaving tomorrow, I thank you for the hospitality and everything that you have done for me, but I believe it's time for me to go." I bow to them.

"Why don't you stay and wait a few more days, wait till Miroku and that stubborn dog to come back, we would like to send you off if you are dead set on leaving. If you are uncomfortable being around Inuyasha, filter him out, ignore his voice. Pretend that he's not there, but let us see you off." Shippo says coming over and wrapping his arms around me in a hug.

"Yes, let us send you off." Sango says with sadness in her voice.

I fall silent, how I wish that they can all be here to send me off, but I know it will be hard if they were all here. I have to leave as soon as I can, so that nothing can hold me back, so that I won't have the desire to hear Inuyasha's voice again even though I know it will pain me. But I nod, I have to lie to them then.

"Alright, I'll hold on till Miroku and Inuyasha comes back." I say to them with smile.

"Get some rest then, we'll see you in the morning." Sango says placing the bell necklace back into my hands.

"I'm going to kick some senses into that stubborn dog." Shippo grumbles.

I close my fingers around the necklace, the bell chimes gently along with my bracelet. I sigh softly, this is it. After bidding every goodnight, with my walking stick in my left hand, I head back to my own place. I close the door behind me, my footsteps and walking stick echos on the wooden floorboard. I sit down in front of the small table in the middle of the room, next to me are my art supplies. I sigh and go through my art supplies, I then realize that I only have 2 sheets of paper left. I let my fingers glide along the smooth surface. Only 2 pieces of paper left, I should use them all and hopefully get my mind distracted long enough before I leave tonight. I take out my charcoal stick and a sheet of paper, I place my free hand on the edge of the paper and I think of what I should draw. Nothing seem to come to mind though, I bite my lips in frustration, I shut my eyes my chest feels so congested but what can I do? Unknowingly, I got myself into this situation by falling in love with Inuyasha. I have no one to blame but myself, I open my eyes slowly hoping to see something, but I know it's impossible. I reach within my kimono and I take out the necklace and place it on the table. The bell rings softly as it touches the table. I start drawing, I inhale deeply. I draw out lines after lines, shapes after shapes, but eventually I stop. I'm stuck. I put down the charcoal stick next to the paper, I drew a person, and I knew who I was drawing, but I can't remember his eyes. I feel so frustrated, I hold my head in my hands. I just wasted my second last piece of paper, I only have one sheet left. I can't seem to draw anything right now, my emotions are a mess right now. I touch the last sheet of paper, I then remember. Paper aren't only meant for drawing, words can also be written on them. It's been so long since I've used paper for writing, perhaps this now is a good time for me to write again. I pick up my charcoal stick and I touch the top of the page and place my charcoal stick there, I realize just how short my charcoal stick has become. I take a deep breath and I let the charcoal stick glide across the page. My hand seem to go on without stopping.

"It's been so long since I've written, especially to someone. Although I haven't written in a while but my words seem to come out like a stream, without stopping and without hesitation. I tried to draw you Inuyasha, but I couldn't, I can't seem to remember your eyes. Probably because I only seen it once, it was brief but I was confident that I had it down in my memories after touching your face that day, but guess it wasn't the case. Or perhaps I'm forcing myself to forget you and my feelings for you so that I can leave here without holding on to anything, but I don't think I can do that. I'm writing this letter hoping that I can tell someone my deepest and most truthful feelings, my feelings are my own but I wanted to share it with someone who is dear to me, but I know it will burden you because you told me that you haven't moved on. I'll respect that because one's feelings are one's own until the other person is willing to accept them. I was hoping that I could stay by your side and have you as my "unofficial eyes" for just while longer, but looks like that wish of mine won't come true. Spring has come early it seems. I always waited for you to open up to me and I was grateful that you did, you trusted me with your pain and sadness. Though you said that it was pointless, but I was happy that I got to understand you a little even if it's was a facade. I said that I would wait and stay by your side until you could allow yourself to love again, but you told me clearly that you never will in the future. I once told you that I will never force you to tell me about your past Inuyasha, and I will never force you to love if you are not ready for it. Unfortunately, my feelings won't be able to fade easily, the only way I can put my feelings behind is to leave here. Was I selfish by telling you my feelings? If so, I'm sorry. You became my eyes when I couldn't see, you guided me to wherever I wanted to go. Because of you, I felt as if I could see the world again thanks to your eyes, because of you, I was able to draw myself. Yet, I couldn't draw the eyes that has became like my own in these few months. I suppose it's for the best. The necklace that I made you, I'm sorry that it made you felt suffocated, it wasn't my intention. I made the necklace because I wanted to give something to someone that has stayed by me in this short amount of time, also, I wanted you to know that I was never too far away if you needed someone to talk to. As long as the chimes of the bell is evident, I knew that I'll always be able to find you. Winter is coming to an end soon, and it's time for me to leave. I suppose this is goodbye Inuyasha, you lend me something that I lost years before and for that I am grateful. Since I'm leaving, I hope you won't mind me saying one more thing to you? The sun will always rise the next day Inuyasha, look forward to them with the people next to you. Then when the sun sets, don't have any regrets before you close your eyes. Don't lose the ability to wish and dream either. I'll leave the necklace here, like I said, you don't have to wear it, it's yours to do whatever you like. I won't say anymore, I'll only wish for your happiness in the future. ~______________"

I place the small chunk of charcoal that's left onto the table as I finish writing the letter, I blow away the excessive charcoal dust. I take a deep breath, I feel my chest becoming lighter. I felt as if I let go of a heavy stone, I fold the paper up and I tie the necklace around the paper with a bow. I pack up everything that I have, since I have no more art supplies, I put away the straps, I don't have much, just like when I came here. I pack up the money that I have earned by drawing, I don't have anything to give to Sango, Shippo, and Miroku for their hospitality. So I could only give them a drawing, which is of the sea in Spring. After packing everything up, I pick up my walking stick and the letter. I left the incomplete drawing of Inuyasha on the table. I head outside, I close the wooden door behind me. I won't be back here anymore, I close my eyes and sigh. I've already made my decision and I'll see it through. With my walking stick in hand, I begin to head to the big hut. Because from there, I'll be able to find Inuyasha's place. The snow is melting beneath my feet at this time, the night air feels cold but luckily I dressed warm enough. I enter into the big empty hut, I place the drawing on the table. I then head out and bow to the front of the hut as respect. I then proceed to Inuyasha's place, it took me a while but I remembered the path. When I finally arrive I stop at the front entrance, my feet seem to be stuck. I can't move, but I shut my eyes and I force my legs to move forward. Why am I hesitating? He's not here. I put my hand out to find the door, and I do. The slightly rough surface glides along my palm, and I remember that day when I was with him when he was human. I was happy that I was with him in his weakest moment. I smile at the memories, but it's time to put it behind me. I kneel down and slide the letter under the door, the bell chimes softly as it hits the bottom of the door. I then stand up and face the door again, I then knock my knuckles gently against the surface, and I waited. Nothing. He's not back yet, I close my eyes and walk away. My walking stick taps on the melting snow as I head to the entrance of the village, the crickets chirp in the night accompanied by the quietness of the surrounding. Eventually I feel the gate of the entrance, indeed this is it. I told Sango in the beginning that I'll go wherever the wind will take me, and it's about time the wind blew again. Since I can't see, there's no point for me to look back. I take a deep breath and clench my free hand into a fist, Gentle chimes fills my hearing, I open my eyes in surprise, is he back? I listened and waited, and I realized, it was my bracelet. It brought me back to reality, and it's time reality guided me to my next destination. I give myself a nod and I take a step forward, out of the boundary of the village. Leaving it behind, leaving Sango, Miroku, Shippo behind, and leaving Inuyasha behind.