Dr Kang visit Jaebeom's house for further check up but before that he went to meet Junho first.

"So Dr Kang, how is my son?" Junho 

"I am sorry to say this but its become worse than before. Actually the last appointment really show a good develpoment and if I look at the table Jaebeom's conditioin supposedly to be even better than when he is a kid. I dont know why and what happen, Jaebeom did not tell me yet but when he is at my house Jaebeom's keep harshing around and keep throwing things around him. At some point I ant to give him sedative but I dont give him that because in my opinion I want my patient to let it all go naturally and only if I can't control my patient then i used sedative. I just want to know what happen that day. I ask him but Jaebeom just brush me off." Dr Kang

"I also dont know what really happen but if im not mistaken that day we just got news about his long lost aunty and cousin.  Then the next day he was gone. I think he went out for a while but I am not sure where he went to. Because our maid told me Jaebeom went out arounf 5pm and went backhome around 8pm." Junho

"He come to my house around 12pm without even notify me. Thank god I am not sleep yet. He look so tired and scared. I took him in and treat him and try to calm him. Usually it take only around one or two hour for Jaebeom to wake from his conditon but this time i need around 1 day to make Jaebeom calm a little. So we need to figure out what happen when Jaebeom is out." Dr Kang

"I will try and ask Mark his friend and also Jinyoung too." Junho

"Jinyoung? His fiancee?" Dr Kang

"Yes." Junho

"I realize something, when I mention his fiancee I can see how Jaebeom's body become more relax but then he talk about how his condition is not good for him to be in any relationship." Dr Kang

"That is what he told me too. After he got home he just ask me to cut the ties. I thought he was in a daze or something but his face is so determine." Junho

"You remember right when I told you that Jaebeom's has this view about relationship?" Dr Kang

"Yes, I remember about it." Junho

"So maybe just maybe I am not 100 % sure about it but from my observation. Maybe this time Jaebeom is triggered by relationship or love? What I mean is there is a small probability Jaebeom is scared with relationship because he saw what happen with you and your ex wife. But this is just my observation because I still stand by my opinion that there is not an exact thing that will trigger Jaebeom's panic attack." Dr Kang

"I understand but Dr they have been engage for almost 6 month already and if that is the case why now?" Junho

"This is just my assumption only there is not a definite answer for mental healthness because its different from patient to patient and the way to heal them. Now we just need to make Jaebeom become better." Dr Kang

 

Jaebeom did not asleep at all after he wakes up yesterday. He remember how his father told a story from the book he just finished reading. About a guy who can time travel after he being hit by a truck. Everytime the guy get hit he will go back a week before the accident and everytime he want to try and change his fate but alas its keep doing the same thing. Every decision he took will always make him being hit by the truck over and over again until one day he meet some old man and everything change. After the meeting with that old man its the first time he did not get hit and his life continues but when the old guy die. The character actually get hit and travel back but now the guy just accept it and not change anything so he just go with the flow because he remember the old guy words.

Just breathe.

Jaebeom ask his father for the ending and his father told him while smiling. The guy dead eventually and the one who saw his body said that the corpse is smiling. Jaebeom really dont like the idea of the main character dead because in his mind why write a character as main character but at the end the character gonna die? Jaebeom totally hate a sad ending. For him his life is already sad so he definitely not gonna read a sad book. But the way his father excitedly told the story make Jaebeom feel happy. 

Jaebeom love seing his father when his father being gigle and extra smiley.

" I am sorry father." Jaebeom

"Huh? Why son? Why are you sorry for?" Jaehwan

"Just." Jaebeom

"No son, please dont ever say you are sorry. Its not even your fault to begin with." Junho

Junho tuck away his son bang and lovingly pat Jaebeom's cheek.

"I know I can get better. I can do better than this." Jaebeom

"Jaebeom ah. I know son. I know. I can see how hard you try to be better and I can see you gradually become healthier and also happier too." Junho

"But I am the reason you are sad and stressed father. I dont want you to be sad." Jaebeom take a hold of his father hand

"Son,of course I am sad. I see how my one and only treasure in this word suffered. I try to control my emotion but I failed. Its hurt me seeing you like this and I cant help you. Sometimes I feel useless. Why I cant protect my own son?" Junho

"Father dont say that. You help me a lot its just I am so weak. I did not fight enough with my own dream. Isnt funny? Getting scared by my own dream. Its not even real thing." Jaebeom said desperately

"Jaebeom, dont say like that." Junho

Junho actually speechless when he heard Jaebeom's word. So Jaebeom thing he is weak because he cant take charge for his own sickness? 

Junho saw how Jaebeom look like he want to cry so he change the topic.

"Have you eaten?" Junho

"Yes, Jae give me one sandwiches." Jaebeom

"Only one?" Junho

"I tried father but I cant swallow the food. But I finished the juice." Jaebeom said proudly

"That is my good son. You make sure to drinks a lot and if you can eat too." Junho

Jaebeom just nod.

"You can go to sleep now father." Jaebeom

"I will.Now close your eyes and sleep too" Junho

"Yes father." Jaebeom

Jaebeom close his eyes and when he is sure his father has gone he slowly open his eye.

Jaebeom reminisce about last night get interupt and now he is alone with Dr Kang.

"Jaebeom." Dr Kang

"Dr Kang." Jaebeom nod and then he keep staring at the fan

There is no word from Dr Kang. He just watch Jaebeom and then write on the paper. After approximately 10 minutes Jaebeom speak.

"Yesterday I dont dream of him. Your homeopathy medicine help me to sleep." Jaebeom

"You lying. Your maid said you did not sleep yesterday." Dr Kang

"I mean the day before that." Jaebeom

"Okay, that is good." Dr Kang

There is the silence again.

"You dont want to ask a question or some?" Jaebeom

"You know me Jaebeom. I can wait." Dr Kang

Jaebeom know Dr Kang's way. He never ask question in Jaebeom case. He will just wait for Jaebeom to open up.

"That day I went out to get some strawberry milk I went to the supermarket because the usual convenience store is out of stock so when I want to pay for the milk some one tuck my jacket and when I look there is a kid age 5 years old " Jaebeom

"Urmm hello?" Jaebeom

"Mommy gone." 

 Jaebem look at the kid and he can see how the the kid looks like he gonna cry in a few second

"Okay, okay. Can you tell me what is your name?' Jaebeom

"Yunho." Yunho

"Hi Yunho! Urmm My name is Jaebeom. Can you tell hyung where the last time you saw your mom?" Jaebeom

"I looking for some candy then mommy gone. I dont know." Yunho

"Okay that is good. Follow hyung. We can look through the candy lane first." Jaebeom

"Hyung?" Yunho

"Yes?" Jaebeom

"Hand." Yunhos ask while he show his right hand to Jaebem

Jaebeom dont know what to do. He never react with someone much younger than him.

"Sorry?" Jaebeom

"Give me hyung hand's so I dont get lost." Yunho

"Ouh... Okay. okay." Jaebeom said and grab little Yunho hand

They walk together and Jaebeom try looking if there is someone is searching for their son. They arrive at the candy lane and Yunho being distracted by the candy make it hard for Jaebeom to continue the search.

"Yunho, how about this. After we found your mommy we come back here and we can buy candy. Okay?" Jaebeom

Yunho look at the jelly bean on the rack and then nods.

"Good boy and now tell me do you remember what your mommy wear today? The colour?" Jaebeom

"Mommy wears her favourite colour!" Yunho said excitedly

"Which is?" Jaebeom

"Yellow!" Yunho

"Okay let us search someone with yellow shirt okay?" Jaebeom

They look around the area and try to find someone with yellow shirt. Luckily for them after a few minutes looking someone yelled Yunho's name.

"Yunho!!"

"Mommy!!" Yunho

Yunho's mom run toward us and then give Yunho a big hug.

"Where have you gone? You make me worried." 

"No worry mommy, this hyung is nice he help me look for you." Yunho

"Oh my gosh! Thank you for looking after this little one. I dont realize he went to other lane when I was looking for something. Thank you so much."

"Its fine. Here Yunho some candy that I promised earlier." Jaebeom said while give Yunho a pack of jelly bean

"Thank you hyung!" Yunho said then jump on Jaebeom and give him a kiss on the cheek

Jaebeom just smile and watch them walk away.

"Dr, Kang, when I watch both of them my heart is so happy seeing them together. Then suddenly I want that. I wan to feel happy. I want to be just like Yunho grabing his mommy's hand and skipping happily. Then I realize something. My mother did not love me. She hate me. She loathe me. I dont really remember how my mother look like but that day I remeber how my mother laugh. Her gentle voice and right there and then I froze. I totally blank out. I cant think of anything. Then someone gently pat me and ask if everything alright. I was startled at first and then I just run and run and run," Jaebeom

Dr Kang did not said anything but he just look at Jaebeom.

"I run until I feel tired. Went back to the supermarket and get my car then drive home. All the way there I still thinking about my mother and at one point I remember everything about my attacker. Everything comeback at me. All the thing I want to forget but its keep coming and I hate myself for remembering that time.I feel so gross about myself and then I get the panic attack and rush to your house in the middle of the night."  Jaebeom

"Jaebeom. I already told you its not your fault. Its never your fault but I get it you feel that way. I dont want to comment more about that. I just want you to know. You are loved by many people and you also can fall in love too. You can be happy. In your case. It will be hard but its not imposible. I will giv you more of the homeopathy medicine and will comeback to see you after a week. Okay? Anything you want to tell me?" Dr Kang

"I can be healed right?" Jaebeom

"Of course Jaebeom. I always remind you. You can do this." Dr Kang

Jaebeom says thank you to Dr Kang and then he try to sleep. Talking to Dr Kang is nice but it alwyas tiring after let out his fears.

 

Jinyoung wake up with a headache. He dont know when he fall asleep. He look at the watch that shows 1pm.

"." Jinyoung wake up and look at the timetable and luckily today is the start of his holiday.  He let out a big sigh. 

Jinyoung grab his phone and call Mark.

"Hello?" Mark

"Mark! Hey sorry if I disturb you I just want to ask if you talk to Jaebeom yet?" Jinyoung

"Ouh actually I am just getting ready to go to Jaebs house. Is he still did not contact you?" Mark

"No actually I also on my way there can you wait for a while? I mean can we go together?" Jinyoung

"I am fine with it" Mark

Jinyoung did not tell Mark at all with what happen the last time he visit Jaebeom's house. He knows Uncle Junho will never kick Mark away so Jinyoung will just stick himself with Mark. They dont know that Jinyoung is the kind of person who will do anything to get what he want. 

Jinyoung already texted Youngjae to tell him that Jinyoung will come to Jaebeom's house and hoping Youngjae also there to help him change his uncle mind.

After a quick bath he rushed out. He pick Mark and all the way to Jaebeom's house there is no words utter between them. 

When the door open by Soohyun, she look suprise seeing Jinyoung.

"Master Mark, Master Jinyoung." Soohyun

"Hello Miss Soohyun." Mark greet her with a charming smile.

Jinyoung just bow to her.

"Where is Uncle?" Mark

"Urm Master went out to the supermarket because apparently Young Master want to eat some herb chicken soup so Master went to buy the herb that we dont have," Soohyun

"Jinyoung! and?" Youngjae come running

Soohyun withdraw from the conversation and went to the kitchen

"Mark. This is Mark. Jaebeom's only friend." Jinyoung

"Whoa! Nice to meet you. I am the one who text you after Beomm ask me too. I am Youngjae" Youngjae bow

" Hello Youngjae nice to meet you!" Mark

"Is Jaebeom awake?" Jinyoung

"Yes, he heard the car and ask me to bring Mark upstairs." Youngjae

"Do you think I can meet him today?" Jinyoung

Mark make a weird look at Jinyoung. Jinyoung took Mark hand and tell a brief story about what had happen.

"What the heck? Are you sure? What? This is not like my Jaebs" Mark

"I know right. That is why I want to meet him and ask him a tons of question." JInyoung

"But Uncle said we cant make Beomm stressed out. He need to rest. A lot of resting." Youngjae

" I just want to look at him." Jinyoung

Youngjae look at Jinyoung. He wanted to help Jinyoung but he  also want Jaebeom to get healthy fast but then he feel so sorry toward Jinyoung

Youngjae sigh

"Okay but promise me. If Beom ask you to leave you need to leave immediately dont argue with him." Youngjae

Jinyoung nod

"But I still think its not a good idea. I mean I always waited for Jaebeom to get ready to face me again after the attack." Mark

"But Mark you are not in verge of losing your bestfriend, I am so scared right now. What if Uncle Junho officially broke our engagement? I need to explain to Jaebeom that I am fine going through all the problem. I can take care of him. I want to" Jinyoung

After Jinyoung speech the three of them went to the room.

"I just wan to tell you guys if he is not responding its fine okay. He just tired." Youngjae

Youngjae open the door and there Jaebeom is sitting on his bed while staring at the open window.

The three of them walk slowly toward Jaebeom bed with Jinyoung at the back slightly hiding behind Mark. Jinyoung actually afraid if Jaebeom become unstable if he saw Jinyoung.

"Beom ah? Mark is here." Youngjae

Hearing Youngjae's voice Jaebeom turn his head toward Youngjae and he smile when he see Mark but then his face frown when he saw someone else behind Mark.

"Jaebs? Hey, look time no see you. I actually want to bring food for you but your cousin said you rarely eat nowadays. So I just bring your favourite strawberry yougurt. See its your favourites!" Mark showing a few bottle of strawberry yougurt

Jaebeom just smile at Mark.

"Thank you." Jaebeom

"Ouh Jaebeom you sound so weak." Mark gasp

The first time Jinyoung hear Jaebeom voice he really want to run to him and give him a hug but Jinyoung restrain his desire because he can see how fast Jaebeom look away when theiir eyes meet.

"You dont say Mark." Jaebeom 

Jaebeom try to laugh but what the sound that come out from his mouth is like some broken radio. 

Jaebeom cough.

Youngjae move faster towards the side table and give Jaebeom a cup of water with straw and ask him to drink the water.

"Jaebeom please dont make it hard. If you feel worse you can just rest. We can go." Jinyoung speak for the first time

When Jinyoung realize what he has done he cover his mouth. He thought Jaebeom will be mad but then Jaebeom speak and eveyone in the room was shock with Jaebeom's word.

"Can you sing? " Jaebeom

No one move.

"Your voice is nice." Jaebeom

"Sorry?" Jinyoung

Jaebeom just shake his head and then he turn his face toward the window and continue staring outside the window.

"I can sing! Eventhough I am not good at it I can do it!" Jinyoung

Jaebeom did not respond.

Jinyoung come near to the bed and sit at the edge of bed.

Twinkle Twnkle Little Star,

How I wonder what you are,

Up above the world so high,

Like a diamond in the sky.

Jinyoung dont know what song to sing so he sing the first song that came to his mind and after finished singing he want to bury his head under the bed. All through the song, Jiinyoung just look at Jaebeom. Jaebeom still staring at the window.

Jinyoung knew its just for a while but he thoroughly watch Jaebeom and he want to wipe all the worry from Jaebeom's face. He want to do something so that Jaebeom will receive only the happy and good things in the world.

Jinyoung wanted to kiss those tried looking eye. 

Jinyoung wanted to brush Jaebeom's skinny looking cheek.

Jinyoung wanted to give Jaebeom all the love that he can get.

Only for Jaebeom.

After Jinyoung finished singing, there is no sound inside the room. Everything feel so static.

Jinyoung's eyes does not leave Jaebeom face. So he can see how Jaebeom turn his face toward Jinyoung. Jiinyoung feels like he is inside a movie. Everything become slow motion. The way Jaebeom blink also look like a slow motion to Jinyoung. Then he heard Jaebeom said.

"You have a nice voice." 

 

 

TO BE CONTINUE

 

 

Here again! I feel so sorry about the angst guys.

Please bear with me okay?

This is the last update for this week? Maybe? 

LOL. I always have so much idea when it come to angsty thing.

Anyway, enjoy the chapter and have a nice day!!