Its been exactly 3 days after Jinyoung heard Jaebeom confession about himself. Jinyoung do not know how to express his feeling at that time.

Jinyoung kinda feel relieved when he realize how Jaebeom has feeling towards him even its only a little but he also afraid at the same time. Because this is the first time Jinyoung saw Jaebeom looking so shaken. His usual poise demeanour is vaguely visible. He look so uncertain about himself and to be truth Jinyoung also scared when he look at Jaebeom. Jinyoung is afraid if after Jaebeom confessed he will hide or even worse, run away from him.

Their confession that day were interupt by Jaebeom's maid. The maid ask if Jinyoung want to have dinner here. Unfortunately because Jinyoung is still  startled after Jaeebom's revelation, Jinyoung decline the offer. He still remember how Jaebeom's smile a little at him and reassure that eveything is fine and excuse himself and that is it.

Jinyoung did not hear from Jaebeom in this 3 days. Its feel like deja vu for Jinyoung after he confessed to Jaebeom. But this time its feel so much different. This time Jinyoung feel like Jaebeom will finally ignore him because Jinyoung tried to call him and Jinyoung pretty sure that he always sent a message to Jaebeom every 30 minutes and nothing. Jaebeom did not even call him back or answered his message.

Jinyoung feel agitated at some point. He tried to be positive and want to give some space to Jaebeom but after knowing how big Jaebeom insecurities is about feelings or relationship. He feels like he need to know a real reason or problem about Jaebeom vulnerability because yesterday confession is just how Jaebeom open himself a little to Jinyoung.

Jinyoung knew Jaebeom is like a book or an onion.He need to read thoroughly for him to know what really happen to him and he also need to peel Jaebeom insecurities away so that Jaebeom feel secure with him. That is Jinyoung main thing he want to do so Jaebeom will tell him what is his insecurity.

He know he need to wait for Jaebeom to open up and tell him everything but he is a curious person so today he dismissed all his class and went to find Mark. Yup he need Mark to help him. He need a man that has feeling toward his fiancee to know about his fiancee. Cliche right? But Mark is the only one he can think of to help him. He dont want to ask Uncle Junho about it. Uncle Junho love to told story about his son so there is a reason why he dont tell Jinyoung about what exactly happen with Jaebeom insecuritites. Why he dont want to be in a relationship? 

Jinyoung ask Jae's help to get Mark's address. He used about half his allowance money to give Jae's his favourite game and Jae finally agree to give him Mark's address.

Mark's apartment is not that far from the subway station but when Jinyoung arrive outside Mark's apartment. He feels so breatheless. He dont know if this is because of his nervous or because of the stairs.

He knock once.

Twice

When he want to knock for the third time the door is open and there is Mark with a disheveled looks. He looks like he just woke up.

"Ouh Jinyoung. What are you doing here?" Mark

"Sorry if Im interrupt you. Are you busy?" Jinyoung

Mark stared at Jinyoung and scan him up and down and after a few more staring Mark answered.

"No I am not why?"

"Can we talk?" Jinyoung ask with his low voice

"What?" Mark

"I want to talk with you." Jinyoung

There is no answer from Mark

"Please?" Jinyoung

"I still remember the last time we have our conversation with just two of us, its not a great memories just saying." Mark

"I am so sorry what I have said to you. I dont know why I said that. I mean I know why I said that but I dont know why I said it ." Jinyoung

"Jinyoung you are mumbling now. Let me ask you, are you gonna be passive aggreasive with me just like you do before?" Mark

"No, no, no I will not. I promise" Jinyoung said while showing his 3 fingers to indicate he will not do it.

Mark take a deep sigh.

"Okay then, but if you do it again, sorry I will not be nice to you either." Mark

Jinyoung nod his head.

"Come in." Mark

Jinyoung walk inside Mark apartment and he feel how cosy the apartment is. The natural colour that Mark used for his decoration really make is simple but elegant. The first thing that Jinyoung see is a big framed picture of Mark and Jaebeom located behind Mark's sofa. Mark backhug Jaebeom with his eye close but a big grin when he hug Jaebeom's neck. While Jaebeom look a little bit annoying but he still smile a little.

"Have a seat." Mark

Jinyoung look at the picture for the ast time.

"About the picture dont feel jealous, it was Jaebeom's gift for me when I moved. I know he is just want to prank me with that picture but the picture look nice so I just let it be," Mark

"I.. Okay." Jinyoung

"Well what is it?" Mark

Jinyoung take a deep breath.

"Before I begin, I want to apologize first for my words. I am so sorry Mark. I just feel jealous toward you. You know Jaebeom longer than me. You make Jaebeom laugh easily and beeing so intimate when you guys together. I want that for myself but I know its wrong to said the harsh word to you. I am sorry." Jinyoung

"Nah, its fine. I mean I know what you feel." Mark

"You knew?" Jinyoung

"Well you are not that subtle at all. I can see how your body stiff when I touch Jaebeom. Its just Jaebeom really clueless about other people feeliings. Hell he is also clueless about his own feeling and I was thankful he is that oblivious because I am safe whenever someone want to try and approach him. I mean in a romantic way. But then you arrive and..." Mark

"What do you mean?" Jinyoung

"Dont act like you are suprise, Jaebeom come to me after you confessed to him. He just cant keep it from me. Im his only friend and Jinyoung you dont need to be jealous at me. Well I am what you say about me but you need to know you are the first one to make Jaebeom open up his heart.I mean he did not push you away after the confession right?" Mark

Jinyoung can hear how Mark voice tremble a litte.

"Is it okay for me to talk about this? Or you dont want me to talk about this at all?" Jinyoung

"No, we can talk. You need to know I have feelings towards Jaebeom all this time and try to make him mine but its just not my fate to end up with Jaebeom. I am totally fine about it because I know Jaebeom dont have any feelings towards other people but when I see him and you together my heart become tighter because I never see Jaebeom treat ony other person like he treat you. He acts carefully when he is with you and it make me worried but then I still knew that I am still be fine because he dont have any feeling with you. But then everything change after you confessed to him. I dont have any idea when he falls for you. Well Jaebeom really know how to keep his feeling and I am hurt Jinyoung. I dont want to lie. But I really hurt. I keep crying every night before I sleep asking if I do this in a way or if i do this maybe just maybe Jaebeom fall in love with me. But who am I kidding, he will always see me as his friend not more and not less than that."Mark

Jinyoung took Mark hand and hold it and give Mark a reassurance through his action.

"I am sorry I dont know that." Jinyoung

"Dont say that, you did not do anythig at all. You just fall in love just like me. We love the same person, the only difference is Jaebem has feeling towards you. You should be happy. Dont be jealous to me. I mean I am Jaebeom only friends so you need to stick with me too and I told you I will never change. You just need to bear with me. You can take it right?" Mark chuckle

"Of course." Jinyoung laugh.

"So? What the real reason you are here? I dont think we being sappy about our feeling is the one thing you want to ask?" Mark

"No, no. Urm have Jaebeom contact you?" Jinyoung

"Jaeb? No I dont think so I mean after he come to me and ask about his feeling towards you I just keep crying. Sorry.But whyare you asking about Jaebeom?" Mark

"Actually last 3 days ago, Jaebeom told me with his shaken voice how he had this insecurity about relationship? I dont really understand because he did not tell me about his insecurity. He justtold me he had insecurity and he is afraid Im gonna runaway if I know the REAL him." Jinyoung

"Ouh Jaebeom.. Urm so you are here to know about Jaebeom secret? Is it better if you ask Jaebeom?" Mark

"No I dont want to ask you about that even if I am curious. Its just I have been call him for this 3 days and also messaging him but he did not respond at all and I was scared. What if he really dont want me after.." Jinyoung

"No, no stop speculate things and assumings things. How do I say this. I cant tell you what is the reason of Jaebeom's insecurities but I can tell you about Jaebeom's real self. Jaebeom, he has a few issues with his mental. I mean he is not crazy but he is sick and he always take his medicine and also never missed his appointment with his theraphy even when he is in America. He is actually really scared with people especially when they drunk or intoxicated. Its hard for him to relax, that is why Uncle Junho sent him away from this society who drunk people is everywhere. He is fine when he is at the classroom or when he is at work but when he is in public or a small area but with a lot of people he will have his panic attack. You dont know how he prepared himself when he went to a date with you at the amusement park. He keep going to his theraphy wanting to know if its fine for him to go with you and he actually ask me to accompany him to the park full of people just to be prepared. I mean the real him Jinyoung is not easy to deal with. I have seen when he get severe panic attack. I was so shocked. It was my first time seeing him like that and I know he really dont like when people see him  when he is like that. I think he is not here right now." Mark

"What? What do you mean Mark?" Jinyoung

"Jaebeom usually has a few days when he did not go to the class or a few time when he did not follow our school trip. I dont know where he went at that time but Jaebeom told me he went to stay with his theraphy when he thinks he cant handle his thought anymore. So I actually dont get suprise when I did not see him for a few days. But after his went to the college the stay become rare and i think he never stay as long as he used too when he is a teenager so I dont know if he really went ot his theraphy or what. Have you ask Uncle Junho?" Mark

"No, I did not ask him. I was so disoriented for this while because I am afraid if Jaebeom decided to just go and went ghost after we talk." Jinyoung

"Dont worry Jinyoung. I am sure Jaebeom is fine. It just its a hard things for Jaebeom too to talk about his insecurity and all. I just hope you will be very patience with him Jinyoung. I know I am fine with this but if and if you hurt Jaebeom. I will take him away from you and this time you will never have chance to even see him." Mark

"What if he hurt me first?" Jinyoung

"I will smack him in the head and you can come to me. We will have a hot drinks and maybe a movie marathon and just ignore him." Mark smile

"Thank you again Mark." Jinyoung

"Its nothing Jinyoung. I am glad that someone open Jaebeom's hard and I am happy it was you and not some annoying brat even though you are a little annoying. But you are kind. I can see that." Mark

Jaebeom is still laying on Dr Kang bed. Yes he went to Dr Kang house after he ask him if he can come. Dr Kang were suprise is an understatement. He open his door after hears Jaebeom ing the bells.

"What wrong Jaebeom?" Dr Kang

"Sorry if I disturb you but the medicine and all the thing you ask me to do is not working anymore. i cant sleep at all yesterday and now I feel so tired. i tried to sleep but my brain does not want me too." Jaebeom

"Ouh, Jaebeom. Come come." Dr Kang

"Is Mrs Kang here? I am sorry if I disturb your sleep." Jaebeom

"Thankfully she is not here, she is visiting her parents with our daughter." Dr Kang

"What happen Jaebeom? After our last appointment you were just fine. I even give a less amount of dose for your medicine. You were so much fine." Dr Kang

"I dont know what exactly happen but the whispering become louder and I can see the man face and its become closer when I close my eyes." Jaebeom

"Okay Jaebeom, go to your usual room. I need to take your files from upstairs first. Just relax okay? And remember its just your imagination. Nothing is real." Dr Kang

Jaebeom nods and went to Dr Kang small guest bedroom. Jaebeom like it here. The scented candle really make him feel calmer. Jaebeom dont know why but after he has the talk with Jinyoung. The whisper become louder and now he can exactly see his attackers face. He close his eyes and then he scream out loud. Dr Kang come running toward Jaebeom

"Jaebeom? Jaebeom? Open your eyes!" Dr Kang shake Jaebeom's body. 

Dr Kang know that Jaebeom condition is one of the worst he has seen when Jaebeom is a child and then it become better after all the theraphy. Now Jaebeom rarely see him. He just ask about the medicine only and Dr Kang can see through his chart and evaluation than Jaebeom has become much better and now what he had seen really make even Dr Kang feel odd about why this happen.

"Jaebeom listen to me! Open your eyes! Dont close it!" Dr Kang

Jaebeom stop screaming but his eyes still close

"Lim Jaebeom, you can do this. Open your eyes please? You are strong! You are really a strong man. Open your eyes." Dr Kang

Jaebeom open his eyes.

"Help me please."Jaebeom said tiredly

"I will, I wiill," Dr Kang

Jaebeom does not know what time is it but he still on the bed. Now he is listening to cricket voice. He dont know why but when he listen to the sound of cricket he feel a bit relaxed. Jaebeom really hate when he in this condition when he dont even know how to react how to think when his body feels so tired. Sometimes he just want to die.

Jaebeom still remember when he was 7 years old and Dr Kang is introduce by his father. A really nice therapist in Jaebeom mind. He never ask question. He only observe and when the time end he just went away. Jaebeom feels like the therapist is not needed. He is beyond repair. The next day he come again and this time he brought a big yellow bus. Jaebeom look interested with the bus. He just look at the bus until the time end and the doctor leave him with the bus.

The next day Dr Kang is not alone. He is with some young lady and the lady tried to make Jaebeom talk but it useless. Jaebeom did not talk at all. Then the next day Dr Kang bring a big box. Jaebeom is curious with the box but he still did not speak. Until the next day when Dr Kang did not come at designated time. But an hour late.

"Why are you late?" Jaebeom

"Are you sure Im late?" Dr Kang

"Yeah, you usually come around 10 am but now its almost 11 am." Jaebeom

"Whoah you are really good at reading the clock." Dr Kang praise Jaebeom

And that day Junho cried for almost an hour saying thank you to Dr Kang. This is the frist time Jaebeom talk after the incident happen.

Jaebeom dont know how but Dr Kang make him wanted to talk and after for a while he start talking . He remember when his 7th birthday there is a boy who was lost inside his house so Jaebeom help him but the most keep on talking non stop. The boy remind him of Jinyoung for some reason.

Jaeebom feels so tired after 2 days straight without sleeping. He ask Dr Kang some sleeping medicine but Dr Kang refuse to give him.

"Its dangerous Jaebeom. I know you are tired but taking sleeping pills will triggered your brain and its just dangerous." Dr Kang

Jaebeom sigh.

"I am so tired." Jaebeom

"Sleep Jaebeom." Dr Kang

"I dont know how." Jaebeom

"Just close your eyes." Dr Kang

"I dont want, he will come and chase." Jaebeom

"No one will do that Jaebeom." Dr Kang

"He will.You know he will." Jaebeom

"He is not real Jaebeom. We already talk about that. You need to separate the real one the imagination one. We practice this right. If you focus, your imagination will look like an invisible." Dr Kang

"But its feel so real." Jaebom

"No Jaebeom, its not real. Listen let us talk about something else okay? How about, urmm yes I want to know about your fiancee. The last time we talk abut him you are sulking?" Dr Kang read Jaebeom files

"Jinyoung? Hahahahaha." Jaebeom laugh

"Yes Jinyoung, what is new?" Dr Kang

"Well, he confessed that he love me not like but love and its funny." Jaebeom

"Why?" Dr Kang

"I dont think i deserve his love. I mean he is so cheerful and innocence while me. Just look at me cant even let go something that happen a long time ago," Jaebeom

"You are perfect as you are Jaebeom." Dr Kang

"Says you, even other people are doubtful about me. You know what they call me right? A . Huh, me a ?" Jaebeom

"Jaebeom as I always said its juts your imagination when you hear those word." Dr Kang

"But its true tho, even my co worker suspect me. They cant believe an 20 year old man has FINISHED  his study this early and managed to handle a company. What a joke right?" Jaebeom

"I know that you realize you are a hardworking man. Ive seen your work Jaebeom. You are a genius. You just need to fight your own thought and its fine. Everyone has different struggle in their life. You just stuck with a worse situation and its not even your fault. You need to remember that. Now close your eyes if you ready." Dr Kang

Jaebeom slowly close his eyes and now he is surrounding by darkness and not a whispering or even his attacker face. He finally can sleep on the third day he is at Dr Kang house.

TO BE CONTINUE

I JUST WANT TO SAY SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE. I JUST BEEN BUSY WITH MY WORK AND THEN I HAVE THIS WRITERS BLOCK WHEN I WANT TO WRITE BUT THEN EVEYTHING FEEL WRONG. SORRY AGAIN GUYS.

PLEASE ENJOY THIS UPDATE 

HAVE A NICE DAY

MINMINHYO