Sakura woke up early the morning after her wonderstruck night.

She even went to the kitchen to make her grandmother some breakfast.

As she could.

Her grandmother woke up to the smell of something good from the kitchen.

“Saachan, what are you doing?”

“I’m making us breakfast.”

“This is very rare of you. Something good must happened last night.”

Sakura just smiles sheepishly at her grandmother.

“So what’s her name?”

“How do you know that it is a she?”

“Because you are my granddaughter. I know it long before.”

Sakura put out the gas stove, get closer to her grandmother. 

Asking her, “Babachan, are you okay with me not being straight?”

“Of course I’m okay baby. But you should know that it won’t come easy. Love.”

Sakura understand what her grandmother tries to deliver. She just nodded and hugged her tight.

 

~~~

 

Chaeyeon also looks so happy next morning

“Why are you so happy?”

“I just had a wonderful night at ball last night”

“So who’s the boy?”

“It’s a girl.”

“Girl? You are not into...” Chaeyeon’s mother put down her fork and knife.

“Don’t you?”

Chaeyeon was frozen on table. Chaeryeong sees that and comes to her resuce.

“Mama,She’s her friend from her class. She’s a great person”

“Oh, but you two are just friends right”

“Of course Mama, do you think unnie is lesbian?”

“No..I’m just concerned. You know what’s the punishment for it right? And I don’t want you to go to hell of it”

“Unnie already going to hell. She stole my shoes last night”

“Yaaaaaa!!” Chaeyeon shout at her younger sister. Thank God she have Chaeryeong. At least the tension simmer down.

 

***

 

Chaeyeon,

Honestly, 

she don’t think she’s straight. 

But she also think she’s straight. 

‘That night was probably just a starstruck’

She convinced herself.

(Let’s continue living life with lies shall we?)

 

~~~

 

Chaeyeon’s family is a devoted Christian. 

They always go to church every Sunday and her parents are close with the priests at their old house in Philippine.

 

They usually bound to have tight relationships with any Church Committee anywhere they went to.

Both Chaeyeon’s parents are good in making friends. 

Hence, it ease them to be in some new community.

Ever since she a kid, she got used to the Christian bring up. 

Everything was going along the path to heaven.

Until she met Sakura.

 

***

 

Monday comes, 

Chaeyeon walks to her class nervously.

 

Her Mum’s words keeps echoing in her head,

She will go to hell if she’s against the teaching.

And being a good girl she is, it actually really scares her.

 

‘You are straight. You are straight. You are straight. Lee Chaeyeon you are straight!’  She convinced herself.

Then she saw that girl with bobbed hair, peeking from the classroom door,

“Peekaboo!” She said to Chaeyeon.

‘Fckk It Chaeyeon You are straight!!! Straight to hell!’

 

Chaeyeon smiles broadly seeing Sakura’s cute act. She hugged her so tight that Sakura squealed.

“Jjae..jjaee.. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just miss you.”

“Awww I miss you too” Sakura hugged her back.

 

“Where are the others?” She asked, when she saw no existence of entity named Yujin or Yena in the class.

“They’ll be arriving soon. We had some fight last night”

“What???? You fighting?? Why???” Chaeyeon asked worriedly.

 

“YAH MIYAWAKI SAKURA!! Why do you left me behind??!!”

Yena storms into the class, earning looks from her classmate.

“It’s because you’re so slow.” Sakura replied.

Chaeyeon is still in confusion

“Yah Miyawaki Sakura! Nice game! Choi ducky Yena got blown in one shot!” Yujin runs to Sakura high fiving her.

‘Oh they are talking about games. I thought it’s a serious thing 😑’  Chaeyeon wince.

 

~~~

 

The class went by as usual.

The lunch break comes and the trio decided to show Chaeyeon their club room. 

It was a simple room with couches and few boxes of maybe some video games,she don’t really know. 

Chaeyeon is more of physical type rather than virtual gaming.

They even have their own tea sets and cutlery. They also have some stocks of food in their box of Holy Stash (That’s what written at the box)

 

“Welcome to the little heaven” Yujin says, 

“I am the official spokesperson person, the lady with that pink Switch is the advisor and that loser duck is the president. Don’t ask me why she is the president. We don’t even know how.“

“In this club, we offers you luxuries of relaxation in chamber fulls of games and foods. But if you’re not into that, we have books and some exercises equipments there” Yujin says pointing to few dumbbells on the ground.

‘These kids’ Chaeyeon slapped her own forehead.

“Oh did you caught some mosquitoes?” 

“We have our first aid here” yujin states.

 

Sakura just look at the two. 

She sat on her designated chair, focusing at her switch. Too focus actually. 

And because of the spot she chose, that is in front of the window. Makes it appears like the sun is glimmering over her.

“She looks like an angel” Chaeyeon blurted out.

“Whipped”, smirked Yujin.

 

Sakura puts down her Switch and look at Chaeyeon, smiling. ‘Come sit’ she mouthed.

They have their lunch break in that room. Chaeyeon find that she could really fit well with these kids.

 

On their way back to class, 

Yena asked them,

“Are you two in some sort of relationship or what? You couldn’t stop smiling and looking at each other”

“Ahh no, we’re just best friends. Right saku chan?”

“Ahh yes, best friends “, Sakura plays along.

Yujin elbowed yena, “ ‘bEsT FrIeNds’ LOL” 

Both the rascals laughed out loud.

 

Sakura just glanced.

She thought to herself, in disappointment,

‘So she’s straight after all’

‘Best friend my Maru’

Sakura didn’t talk much after the break, trying her best to look normal.

Chaeyeon could feel something was off. 

But she was too afraid to ask. 

She got a hunch that it might be because of what she said.

She for sure, know Sakura is not straight.

Or at least she really hopes so.

 

***

 

Sakura went home looking moody.

“I’m home......”

Her grandmother looked at her.

“Babachan..”

“Yes darling. What’s wrong?” She ruffles Sakura’s hair.

“She’s straight!!!” Sakura cried hugging her grandma.. “Who? Ohh.. That girl, Chaeyeon?”

Sakura nodded still hugging and crying in her grandmother’s embrace.

It hurts her grandmother seeing Sakura crying like that. 

But Sakura needs to learn it the hard way. 

Being in her ual orientation is not really a norm in Japan or even Asia. 

Maybe along the way she changed.

Maybe she wont.

But she wants her granddaughter to learn that love not only sweet but both sour and bitter too.

 

“Let’s take a bath and then we eat together. I cooked your favourite Oyakudon.”

She says, looking at her granddaughter.

“Really?” Sakura eyes got wider and glitters. 

She kissed her grandmother and quickly runs upstairs.

Looking at Sakura, she realised her little granddaughter has now grow taller. 

She also losses her baby cheeks.

Her life and thoughts are also getting more complicated.

She would give anything in the world, just to protect her little Saachan.

‘Oh my baby girl, how much you have grown‘

 

After their dinner,

Sakura accompany her grandmother, watching her favourite shows. 

Sakura was lying on her Babachan’s lap, with her hair being softly by the elder.

“Saachan” her grandmother spoke.

“Yes?” Sakura looks up

“There’s some chocolates in my bag. Your favourite. Go take it”

“Really?? Waaa babachan why are you so sweet??” She hugged her grandma and run to get her chocolate.

‘Saachan is still a kid after all’ she thought.

“Don’t eat it until tomorrow!! You have too many sweets already “

“I wonf. I’ll eat if tomollow” sakura shouted with full of chocolate.

‘This kid’ Babachan shakes her head.

 

~~~

 

Ever since Sakura was a little children. 

Her grandparents will always buy chocolate bar. Of one specific brand that her late grandfather loves so much.

They literally have it in their house everyday. Sakura always steal a bite or two from it. 

Thinking her grandfather doesn’t know. 

(But everyone knows Sakura)

 

After her grandfather got sick, 

they don’t buy the chocolate anymore as he must be in controlled diet.

 

And after his death, they don’t buy the chocolate at all.

 

That was until one day, when Sakura went out to the arcade, she bought the chocolate at the convenient store because it reminds her of someone she loves and lost.

And because she feels like she have to.

 

As it was summer, the chocolate melted a bit, so she put it in her fridge. 

Her grandma saw that when she opened the fridge to take out few ingredients needed for her cook.

She shed few tears as she knew, Sakura is missing her grandfather like she does.

And since that day, her grandma frequently bought the chocolate bars.

It’s a remembrance of one person whom was truly loved, 

It’s a continuation of their passion and favourite,

It’s a reminder that he was once with them.

It might be silly, but every time she see that chocolate bar in the fridge, she feels like her husband is still around.

 

~~~

 

Sakura went back to the living room.

Laying down on her Babachan’s lap. She looks up to her, 

“Babachan,”

“Yes darling”

“How do it feels to be in love?”

“In love?”

“Yes”

“It feels like everything is great as long as she is around. Every light in the city feels like they’re shining on her. It’s hard to breathe when she’s not around. And she is everything you’ve ever wanted. She is the most perfect human being despite her imperfections. She is the sun that shines, she is the light of your life. She shines upon you, like how you did to her too”

 

“I think I’m in love”

Babachan just smile at her

“But she’s not into me”

“What do I do?”

“You respect her. You don’t force her to accept you. Maybe she values your friendship more than relationship. So be there for her everytime she needs you. You may not have her, but you’ll be happy when she’s happy too.”

 

***

 

“Sorry, is anyone named Ahn Yujin here?”

Everyone turned around. Making the shy girl blushed.

“Yes, here she is!!” Yena pull up Yujin’s hand. Yujin was trying hard not to show any expression.

“Can I see you for a while?”

“Yes!” Sakura replied. Pushing Yujin out the class.

 

Yujin went out not knowing what to say to the shy girl, Minjoo.

“Aren’t you going to say something?”

“Something “ yujin replied nonchalantly.

Minjoo slapped her forehead, ‘it’s true when senpai said that she is hopeless’

“You wrote so much in your letter but now you are not saying anything.”

“I said everything in that letter”

“Say it to me now.”

“I like you Minjoo” Yujin’s face flushed red.

“Okay”

“What?? That’s all??”

“I just need to know if it’s really you”

“Yeah it’s me” she answered “wait, let me see the letter”

Minjoo handed her the letter she wrote, she take a look at the letter, “Ah yeah it’s mine”

She scratched her head embarrassed and not knowing what to do.

“So?” Yujin asked.

“So?” Minjoo asked back.

“Are you accepting me or...?”

“It won’t be that easy.” “But I agree on getting to know you. Let’s be friend first “

“If you just want to be friends, why you didn’t reply to my letter earlier? I was waiting for so long I even went to t