As soon as the fists dropped so did the tears, Sooyoung hears all of the yelling continue and brings her arms down from her face. Jinsoul is sobbing on top of her with shaky fists that were just connecting with her face clenched to her sides. Sooyoung grimaces when Jinsoul’s tears start to drip onto her face, mixing with the blood from her busted nose and cut lip. She says nothing to the girl on top of her, only watching as she mumbles out incoherent sentences.

Coach V is behind her trying to pull her off but every time she touches Jinsoul, the blonde flails her arms. Sooyoung can’t breathe, even though at this moment she doesn’t really want to. Jinsoul wipes at her face smudging her eyeliner all over. There’s even a little snot coming out of her nose where she’s crying so hard. Childish. 

But it’s not Jinsoul. 

It’s her.

She was so childish for making someone cry this hard. Like some kid who takes lunch money. “You’re so mean Sooyoung.” The girl feels her heartbreak at the words. But she also feels her blood boil. If Jinsoul only knew how mean she could really be. If she only felt half of what Sooyoung felt… “Why are you so mean?” Sooyoung thinks for a moment. She could say something like because you are dumb and it is fun or she could say I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.

Neither. Sooyoung says neither of them and remains quiet. Jinsoul’s crying has stopped and it’s only small whimpers coming from . Once Jinsoul’s vision is clear from all the tears the blonde’s face drops. Sooyoung watches the fear form onto Jinsoul’s features. “Your face. I-I’m.” Sooyoung furrows her brows, Jinsoul was definitely going to start crying again. She was proven right once the tears started falling again onto her face.

Jinsoul starts apologizing to her. Sorry and forgive me is being repeated and Sooyoung thinks it’s a waste of breath. Jinsoul had nothing to be sorry for, she deserved every hit. But why did it make Sooyoung feel so good when she apologized? She couldn’t stand it anymore, all this crying was annoying and she just wanted to go home. Sooyoung hated all this attention Jinsoul was giving to her. She didn’t know what to do with it, she didn’t earn it. 

“Please get her off of me.” Sooyoung keeps her hands to her chest since she didn’t want to touch Jinsoul. Coach V finally pries her off much to the blonde’s protest. Sooyoung wipes at her face and stares at the blood at her hand. The pain was bearable but it still hurt. Probably not as much as Jungeun’s knee and probably not as much as Jinsoul’s feelings.

Standing up she blows some of the blood out of her nose and buries it into the sand. Hyunjin immediately comes over to her and tries to comfort her but Sooyoung wasn’t fazed. It was like she got hit with a ball, not like she just got her handed to her by one of the babiest of babies. “I’m fine let’s go home.” Her sister gives her a concerned look and Sooyoung starts to walk off. If there was something that pissed her off to no end it was people feeling sorry for her. 

Everyone was looking at her sadly, Jiwoo, Haseul, even Coach V who never gave sympathy. Scoffing she goes over to her bag ready to pack up until a hand is placed onto her shoulder. Turning around she’s met with Coach V’s stare. Great, she was definitely not going home anytime soon. “My office, come on.” Of course, she had to go to her office. Sooyoung was always in her office for something. Her attitude, if she was having trouble with school, sometimes for volleyball. Coach V had always tried to be some role model for her. But she already had her role model so she didn’t need one. The woman’s advice was too direct, it never made sense to Sooyoung.

Sooyoung throws on a t-shirt and takes a towel out to wipe at her face. She was tired so she just lazily swiped over it. Thankfully her nose was stopped up now, the blood no longer pouring down her lips and chin. Turning around ready to follow Coach V to her office she groans out when she sees the still crying blonde beside her, “not you…I’m tired of her!” 

The crying becomes noisy and her coach gives her an angry look. “My office now!” Sooyoung follows both of them from a couple feet behind. Jinsoul is holding onto Coach V’s hand. It’s cute but shouldn’t Sooyoung be the one crying. Shouldn’t she be the one receiving special treatment? She wants her hand to be held, but not by their coach. 

They reach the office after a bit of a walk. Coach V’s office was just some building on the beach. It was where the official nets were and the games were played here. It was also where the tournament would be played. The woman unlocks the door and ushers them in. It’s cold inside of the building and Sooyoung can’t help but shiver. Throwing down her bag she takes the comfy chair and leans her head back. 

Coughing when blood goes to the back of her coach rushes over to lean her head forward. Sooyoung spits it out into the trashcan that was placed next to her. Coach V shows her some medical supplies and Sooyoung nods keeping still as the woman patches her face up. Jinsoul only stares at her and even though the room is freezing she starts to sweat from the eyes glued to her face. 

Once Coach V is done she goes to lean on her desk looking between the two girls. Jinsoul is only paying attention to Sooyoung and the latter is giving all her attention to a ladybug on the floor. Shaking her head she snaps her fingers for their attention. Sooyoung’s is immediate but it takes Jinsoul longer to pull her eyes from the battered face.

“I don’t know what this personal vendetta you two have against each other but it has to end now.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes while Jinsoul brings her focus back to the girl. “Sooyoung the attitude stops now or I’m cutting you from the team.” Sooyoung was mocking her coach. Now she was standing and screaming while her coach ignored her, talking to Jinsoul instead. Sooyoung shuts and listens to them. Wondering what could be more important than the threat of her being cut from the team.

She was the star player, how could she just be cut off.

“I told you to ignore her I’m disappointed in you Jinsoul.” Sooyoung can’t believe her ears or eyes as she watches Jinsoul shake her head in shame. Do they talk about her behind her back? Pissed she starts to walk off and out the door until someone pulls her back in. When she sees it’s Jinsoul she shoves the girl off of her. “Fine cut me off the team I don’t want to play no way!”  

Jinsoul reaches out to her again but Sooyoung steps away from her grasp. That’s when the blonde loses her temper for the second time that day, “you’re so irritating!” Jinsoul stomps back to her chair and sits down with a huff. “I am trying to make this work for the team, Jesus can’t we be mature and pretend to not hate each other?”  Sooyoung freezes at the door and stares at the blonde’s fists which are shaking again.

“That’s why I try to ignore you because I have to if we’re ever going to win a game together.” Oh, that makes sense because she’s sure if Jinsoul did ever talk back it wouldn’t end well. Like today. Sooyoung got her beat because Jinsoul didn’t ignore her. And it was probably easier for Jinsoul to not lose her marbles if she wasn’t such an . 

Sooyoung goes back to sit down, embarrassed by her little temper tantrum. “What do you want?” She’s asking both of them but only their coach answers stepping forward to put a hand on each of their shoulders. “I want you two to become an unstoppable pair and win me some games.” 

“The first step is making up and the second is simply getting along even if you want don’t to.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes and turns to Jinsoul who is giving her this cute…puppy dog eyed expression with her lip in a pout. Sooyoung wants to think this is just some mocking and exaggerated expression but it makes her want to gag knowing this is Jinsoul in natural sad mode. “I don’t want to get along with an animal.” 

Coach V squeezes her shoulder making Sooyoung squeal out. “Fine, I’ll shut up!” Sooyoung was not going to be Jinsoul’s friend but she would tolerate her for the team’s sake. For Jungeun who was in the hospital for her sisters who looked up for her and the man she’d always play for. She would play for them and only them. 

‘So that means no more fighting from you two right? I don’t have to worry about putting you two together?” The girls nod their heads and Coach V thanks them and tells them to get out of her office since she was annoyed with them. Sooyoung picks her bag up and makes her way out. Opening the door to the beach she’s met with the warm light from the sunset. Maybe she could chill for just a moment. Enjoy the only peace she’s had today.

Crawling closer to the ocean she sits her bag down and slowly flops herself down onto the sand. Sooyoung always liked the ocean, how it never seemed to stop moving. Once someone told her that the moon had kept the ocean flowing. Her mother was that person’s moon, it was their reason to keep moving until they couldn’t anymore. From that day on Sooyoung had thought of that person as her moon. 

That person taught her how to swim, how to run, all of the motions of life. They were gone before they could teach her how to be kind and thoughtful. Thankfully someone else had come along and taught her that. But that same person had made her bitter and detached. Sooyoung still to this day couldn’t believe a lesson of love could be so harsh. How the same person who taught her what love felt like, was the same one who showed her heartbreak.

That lesson was very apparent today. Since that person was there standing behind her unsure what to say. Because she had nothing to say. She had already told Sooyoung everything through her actions. The same lesson was taught to Sooyoung. How love could be so cruel. How it could hurt more than heal. “What is it Jinsoul?” Her professor was bad, she didn’t teach her all the way to the end. She didn’t teach her how to move on. But how could she move on from something that had never started? 

“I’m sorry Sooyoung.” She knows Jinsoul’s not apologizing for the broken nose or the harsh words, but that’s what it looks like on the outside so they’ll keep it that way. “It’s fine.” Sooyoung continues to look out into the ocean. Turning around she instantly regrets it. Jinsoul looked so beautiful with the sun shining on her. Despite her eyes being puffy and her nose still running, she still was effortlessly gorgeous. Her glow was warmer than the sun.

“Can I give you a ride home? It’s the least I can do to make up it up to you.” Sooyoung shakes her head, “I’d rather not die tonight.” Jinsoul rolls her eyes but smiles. It fills Sooyoung up with a warmth that she can’t describe. This was all weird. This was the most they’ve talked in years and Sooyoung hasn’t felt this light in forever despite having a busted up face. She knew she was weird. None of this was affecting her.

Sooyoung should be angry at Jinsoul. She should hate her even more, but she didn’t. If anything she hated her less because this the most real she’s seen Jinsoul in years. She knows it’s not going to be there tomorrow, this raw emotion. Jinsoul will go back to ignoring her and Sooyoung will continue to be an despite her coach telling her otherwise. They would make it work though, they were both too stubborn to fail. So from now on, it was just them tolerating each other.

Jinsoul steps closer feeling awkward from the silence. “Please, it’ll be dark soon.” She wonders if her sister has left already. Digging through her bag she pulls out her phone and reads the texts. Hyunjin didn’t go home but she had gone out with her friend. Leaving Sooyoung alone and without a choice but to either take the bus or ride in Jinsoul’s fancy car. “I’ll take the bus it’s fine.” Sooyoung deep down hopes Jinsoul asks her one more time. Begs her too and maybe then she’ll say yes but the blonde doesn’t.    

With a tired sigh, Sooyoung hears the blonde walk off finally leaving her in peace. Turning around she watches how slumped Jinsoul’s shoulders are and how her duffle bag barely hangs on to her body. Shaking her head she turns to watch the ocean more. Maybe one day she’ll find her next moon to push and pull her. But for now, she was just a still body of water. 

The only motions that she had were from the ripples that were caused by Jinsoul’s tears.

…

When she makes it home after a pretty horrible bus ride, people staring at her, some asking her if she needs to go to the doctor and even one man telling her she’s hot in a badass kinda way, she steps into the door ready to go to bed and forget about today. 

About to go up the stairs and shower there’s a loud noise coming from the living room, “SOOYOUNG!” She could ignore her grandma or she could get the babying she’s wanted all evening. Crawling towards the room she smiles when she spots her Granma watching jeopardy with a notepad in hand, probably keeping up with some figurative score. 

Sooyoung goes to the recliner where her Granma lays and stands in front of her. The woman is about to make her get out of the way until she spots her bruising face. “Jesus Crist Soo did you run into the bus?” Sooyoung shakes her head and squeezes in beside the woman who had scooted over. The recliner was three times the size of the tiny woman so Sooyoung had plenty of room to fit.

Maybe she could fall asleep like this. Her Granma was patting her on the head while nagging at her for being clumsy. The woman really thought she had face planted somewhere. Sooyoung sighs out as she turns to the T.V, “I got in a fight actually.” Her Granma raises up in the seat and gives her a funny look, scanning her face for any lies, “and you let them beat ya !” Sooyoung groans and goes to get up from the chair. So much for getting some affection from her loving elder.

She’s pulled back down by her wrist, “I didn’t raise no tell me they look just as bad as you do.” Sooyoung regrets telling the truth now. “I didn’t fight back.”

“YOU WHAT?” Covering her ear with a hand and cringing from the screeching noise she shrugs her shoulder at her Granma. “So you just let this person lay the smack on you without defending yourself.” If there was anyone that could make her feel guilty it was this woman. She was starting to regret everything that she’d done today. Maybe she should have listened to Chae and kept shut. “I was being a jerk and they just ya know.” 

Her Granma then pushes her out of the chair, making Sooyoung fall over onto the floor. “You’re out here acting like a punk and getting your kicked for it.” Sooyoung stands back up and watches her Granma shake her head in disappointment. The woman then points in some obscene direction and she knows that it’s her bedtime. Feeling even worse than before she makes her way up the stairs slowly just wanting for this day to be over.

Opening the door to her room she gives a quick glance to Hyunjin’s side which was surprisingly empty. She must be staying the night at Heejin’s…again. Sooyoung peels her clothes off one by one before grabbing a towel that was lying on the floor. She guesses she could just wash off and start studying maybe then the memory of today would stop playing over and over again.

Sooyoung moves into the bathroom and closes the door behind her resting her head on it. She hears some shuffling so she quickly opens her eyes. Her twin sisters have their dog Haneul dyed purple and there’s hair dye everywhere. Sooyoung is about to kick their asses before the dog starts running around the bathroom leaving purple paw prints all over the tile floor. 

Sooyoung has to jump on top of the toilet to avoid the dog and starts yelling at Hyejoo to pick the damn thing up, “get the ing dog before it gets purple on me!” Yerim is the one that picks it up and holds it up from her. The small dog wiggles around clearly distressed. “Please get him clean before mom sees him.” Yerim nods at her and sits him in the bath. The girl kneels at the tub and Hyejoo joins her in the effort to scrub Haneul clean.

Sitting down on the toilet seat waiting for the girls to get done. That’s when it all hits her suddenly. The feeling that she should have had earlier when Jinsoul was crying on top of her. When Jinsoul apologized to her. When her nose was pouring out blood and her head was throbbing. The sad smile she gave Sooyoung on the beach. Sooyoung doesn’t even realize she’s crying until her sister’s turn to her. Yerim is the first one to speak out, “it’s not that serious.” 

Sooyoung cries harder and buries her broken face in her hands. It wasn’t that serious but why did it feel like the worst thing in the world. She screamed at Jinsoul. She made her feel like she was nothing when Jinsoul was everything. No wonder the blonde hates her. Her Granma was right she was a punk but how could she turn it around. “God she’s so dramatic…look it’s coming off.” 

It was Hyejoo’s voice this time and that’s when Sooyoung realizes that they’re talking about the dog, not about her broken face. “Aren’t you guys going to ask if I’m okay?” Yerim turns and informs her that Hyunjin had already told them the situation and that she deserved it.

Sooyoung lets drop as Hyejoo narrows her eyes at her. She couldn’t win, could she? Sniffling her nose she concludes that she’ll just avoid Jinsoul at all costs and that would be the only way she could resist being mean to the girl. At practice she wouldn’t speak a word to the girl, wouldn’t spare her a glance. That should be easy enough right? Laughing at herself it makes her sisters give her a funny look. Like she was someone crazy.

Who was she kidding? Nice or not she’ll never be able to leave Jinsoul alone. Until the girl pushed her away, she got a taste of what that would be like today.

And she hated every second of it.

…                                                                                                                                  

Walking through the hospital she gets a horrible feeling in her stomach. Bad things happen here…like people and dying and stuff. Sooyoung would rather not be in here. The temperature is too cold and the smell is too clean. There’s a crying family off to the corner and Sooyoung can’t help but want to go and comfort them. Hospitals we’re definitely portals to hell, Sooyoung just has a hunch that they are.

Going up to the front desk she politely asks where Kim Jungeun is. The nurse smiles and checks her desktop. Sooyoung waits patiently whistling into the weird silence. “Ma’am you’re on the wrong floor go down one and go to room two forty-eight and that’s where your friend should be.” Sooyoung thanks her with a smile and starts to walk off and to the stairs.

Just when she was about to get to the door the emergency elevator opens up and there’s a group of doctors with some bloodied up girl on the stretcher. They’re screaming incoherent things to each other. Ah doctor language, she’s sure Jinsoul would understand it. Shaking her head from the image of the injured woman she makes her way down the steps and through the hallways.  

Soon enough she’s in the room where Jungeun is supposed to be in and walks in. The door was shut and she didn’t think anything of it bursting in and walking to the bed. Sooyoung recalls that Jiwoo wasn’t hurt so why was she…oh. Freezing in her tracks she takes in the site of her old fling on top of Jungeun. Making out pretty passionately. Sooyoung covers to hide the smile and her eyes go wide. 

Figuring that she shouldn’t keep watching when Jungeun grabs the girl’s making her moan she steps a little closer. Clearing , Jungeun opens her eyes and pushes Jiwoo away, the girl falls backward and lands on Jungeun legs and the ash-blonde starts to scream out. “ the knee Jiwoo my knee!” Her girlfriend crawls off her and pulls her skirt down quickly from where it was pushed up for Jungeun to have access to the assets.

Jungeun is heavily breathing and the auburn-haired girl is flushed red awkwardly laughing. Sooyoung smiles and pulls up a chair, “did I interrupt something?” Jungeun narrows her eyes and launches forward but Sooyoung only backs away and laughs when her teammate can’t reach her. The ash-blonde stops her assault once she sees the patches and bruises on her face raising a brow. “Man you look like , Jinsoul really did beat your .” 

Sooyoung groans and throws her head back. Apparently, everyone knew that Jinsoul had a mean right hook. “Sorry, Jiwoo told me.” Sooyoung had forgotten the girl had even existed and gives a short look to the girl. Jiwoo blushes and whispers something to the girl in the bed before scurrying out of the room. They watch her walk off and once the door is closed Sooyoung turns to Jungeun. “You ing I told you I didn’t want to play with her.”

Jungeun only laughs, Sooyoung has never seen the girl be this loose. She was usually uptight and her face barely moved unless she was pissed. Sooyoung swears she’s seen about fifteen different expressions on her face. “It’s true I begged coach to put you two together.” Sooyoung squirms in her seat at Jungeun’s stare. The girl was weird, she was almost psychic or something. Or maybe she was just observable. “I couldn’t be on the bench bored as , I have to have some entertainment this summer.” Standing up Sooyoung aims for her knee. She’s never heard the girl cry that much. Annoyed with all the whining she sits back down before sighing. “Whatever you betrayed me.” 

Jungeun chuckles and reaches out to her. Sooyoung is skeptical at first at the fist being held out to her but soon smiles to raises her own hand to bump it. Jungeun acts lik3 she did it too hard making Sooyoung smile more. Maybe Jungeun wasn’t so bad after all. Sooyoung could consider her a friend she guesses. They have played together for a couple of years now.

The girl had similar humor to her and didn’t mind mean jokes since she wasn’t sensitive. Smiling she starts to see the girl in a new light, “So Kim, how’s the knee.” The ash-blonde screams out a little, being overdramatic. Scratching her head she answers Sooyoung with a sad tone, “ing that I can’t play but hey what can I do.” Sooyoung nods giving her a sympathetic smile and an apology.

Jungeun waves her off, “you don’t have to apologize to me, actually I should apologize to you for putting all the pressure on you.” Sooyoung hates how the girl feels bad for leaving her without a partner. It’s not her fault that her knee got twisted and now Sooyoung was stuck with her arch-nemesis/obsession. 

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” Jungeun smiles at her and goes to rub at her head. Sooyoung just pushes her off playfully. This was nice, being friendly wasn’t so bad since she was having a good interaction with Kim Jungeun, a pretty hard nut to crack. “Wow that was a surprisingly nice thing to say coming from you.”  

Sooyoung lifts her arms up in a shrug, “what can I say, I have my moments.” Jungeun rolls her eyes and then the conversation goes stale. The only sound in the room is the iv drip.

She rubs at her face wincing since she forgot how battered it was. “Hey Sooyoung?” Looking up from the super clean floor she stares into Jungeun’s eyes. The girl had a curious glint in them. Sooyoung blows out air forehead to push out the nerves that were forming. Melting in her seat she jerks her head up to let the girl know she’s listening. 

Jungeun crosses her arms, “how come you treat Jinsoul that way?” What a question. Sooyoung closes her eyes. Sooyoung could tell her the truth. But Jungeun would look at Jinsoul differently and she knew the younger girl seen Jinsoul as some role model. She didn’t want Jungeun to dislike Jinsoul. She didn’t want anyone to dislike Jinsoul.

Except for her. She was the only one allowed to hate the girl. That was how she was special to Jinsoul. The blonde would never forget about Sooyoung in that way. She’d always be remembered as the girl had a special relationship with Jinsoul, they hated each other. No one else had that with Jinsoul. So Sooyoung came up with an excuse to tell Jungeun. “She’s perfect”

Blinking her eyes and looking off into the distance she puts a little drama to her words, “And I hate perfection.” Jungeun stares at her with narrowed eyes before bursting out in laughter. Sooyoung joins in on the laughter as well. “God, you’re so edgy oooh.” Jungeun mocks her while Sooyoung gives her the finger. Getting the giggles out she answers Jungeun with something more believable. “I don’t know she gets on my nerves.”

Jungeun makes a funny facial expression scrunching one eye closed as she looks up to the ceiling, “hmm I don’t buy it one bit. I think there’s something more.” Sooyoung was right about Jungeun. She was either psychic or observant. “And what is something more.” Leaning further back into her chair she crosses arms waiting for the Jungeun’s analyzation. 

“I already know you have a thing for her.” 

“Do not.”

“I think that maybe she rejected you once upon a time.” 

Sooyoung heart clenches at the word rejection. Jinsoul didn’t really reject her directly. But still it hit pretty close to home and she only hopes she can hide her sadness from Jungeun’s overly sensitive eyes. “Am I right or wrong?” The girl asks her slowly. No she’s wrong. It goes deeper than that.

“Wrong.” Jungeun pouts and lays back in her bed and it seems like Sooyoung has fooled her for now. “I’m not that petty.” Jungeun nods and agrees. How ty would Sooyoung look if she treated Jinsoul like this if she only rejected her advances? No they definitely wouldn’t have this much tension between each other. “Well whatever it is you should probably let it go.” 

Yes, let everything go. That wasn’t even the hard part. Sooyoung had gotten so used to talking Jinsoul it was a part of her daily life now. How was she just going to start being nice to Jinsoul? She gives Jungeun a lazy thumbs up. Jiwoo comes in with a few butterscotch puddings. The girl hands one to Sooyoung and one to the injured in the bed. If there was anything good about hospital’s it was the butterscotch puddings.  

Sooyoung thinks that she’ll probably strangle the two across from her since the way they eat pudding is disgusting. Jungeun slurps on it while her girlfriend chews on it…who chews on pudding? Thinking of nice things to try and fight the urge of being an to the two she’s successful. She thought of Haneul and then her Granma, sometimes Yerim. And surprisingly she thinks of Jinsoul’s smile. The sad one from days ago. 

Jiwoo burps and giggles once she’s done with her pudding. Jungeun gushes at the girl and reaches forward to pinch at her cheek. Sooyoung shudders, they were perfect for each other and it was a little gross. The redhead takes up their finished cups and throws them in the trash before waddling back over. Sooyoung figures she should probably head out to give the two alone time but Jiwoo starts to talk to her, “So I talked to Jinsoul.” 

Sooyoung tilts her head, she wonders just what that had to do with her. “She still feels really bad about your face.” She laughs and waves the girl off. Jinsoul should forget about it. This wasn’t some big deal. Just a little fight between two girls. “No like…really bad yesterday she was panicking out.” Her ears perk up at that so she leans a bit forward to give all her attention to Jiwoo.

Jiwoo swirls her hands around and Sooyoung listens closely for anything important. She mostly rambles on about how Jinsoul was upset and still couldn’t believe she lost her temper like that. Sooyoung nods at every word and Jungeun pays attention to her reaction, Sooyoung doesn’t catch the way her friend's eyes narrow at the small blush that crawls on Sooyoung’s neck when Jiwoo admits that Jinsoul wishes Sooyoung liked her. 

“She said she wants to make it up to you. I don’t know why though personally I think you deserved it.” Sooyoung got a thrill out of Jinsoul worrying about her so much. Maybe she didn’t regret pushing the blonde to her limits. She had her utmost attention now and was loving every second of it. Here she was talking about her to other people. How she wishes she could make it up to her. Sooyoung thinks of many ways Jinsoul could make it up to her. 

Something appropriate like maybe a new watch or just a free lunch. Then maybe Sooyoung could show Jinsoul how nice she could really be. Or they could just cut to the chase and go for round two in Jinsoul’s bedroom with something else getting pounded rather than Sooyoung’s face. Specifically something of Jinsoul’s. Her heart rate starts to pick up just by thinking of the blonde. God she really still has it bad for Jinsoul.

Sooyoung keeps her cool though, “I did deserve it so you can tell her it’s okay she already apologized like too many times.” Jiwoo looks shocked from her mature response and nods her head. “That’s what I said!” Sooyoung only shrugs her shoulders. Jinsoul needed to toughing up. You don’t cry and apologize after you beat someone’s you puff your chest up in pride.  

What Jiwoo says next, changes everything, “I think she has a thing for you though that’s why she's so torn up about this.” Sooyoung’s eyes go wide and Jungeun smiles widely looking between the two.

Sooyoung is flushing red and Jiwoo is confused by her girlfriend’s weird reaction. “I mean all she does is talk about you. It would be kinda cute if you weren’t such a .” Jungeun is laughing like a maniac while Sooyoung rethinks her life decisions. Jinsoul having a thing for her? She was sure she never crossed the girl’s mind at all. And she was sure the girl was straight. Like not even a little bit of a curve. Sooyoung shakes her of the wishful thoughts and reminds herself that it’s probably nothing. “No I think you’ve got it wrong Jinsoul doesn’t even like me as a person. She hates me.” Jiwoo gives her a sad look and so does Jungeun…weird.

It’s a common thing, Sooyoung convincing herself that she and Jinsoul would never happen in a million years.

 After Jiwoo’s little spout they talk about finals, about their plans for the summer. And well about volleyball. They talked about the competition and the couple gave Sooyoung some helpful criticism. Sooyoung checks her watch and lets her shoulders slump when she sees it’s time to go to her shift at the diner. Standing up she gives Jungeun another fist bump, “you’ll be out soon right?” 

Jungeun nods and tells her she’ll be out in a few days to do her finals and probably start sitting in on the practices. Before Sooyoung walks off the girl calls after her once more, “hey Sooyoung!” She liked away that Jungeun said her name. It reminded her of her sister Yerim. It was noisy, “yeah soot head?”

“Thanks for coming.” Sooyoung grabs the door handle.

“It was really nice of you.”

…

Practice had been canceled for the past few days. Due mostly to the weather since they were bad thunderstorms and some because well the team was still shaken from Sooyoung and Jinsoul’s feud. Finals were here too but Sooyoung had only one left. Calculus was probably the worst thing Sooyoung had ever experienced and even though she had studied every night for multiple hours she still couldn’t get it.

Sooyoung wasn’t that smart but she was a hard worker. Most classes came easy to her. Because after a considerable amount of work and tutoring she’d land an A and a simple understanding to it. Although that didn’t always work. Some classes were way too difficult and not even with all the work and studying Sooyoung found herself failing every exam and the only thing keeping her passing was participation grades. 

Although her grades were beginning to break, her nose was now better and only bruised. It was still pretty sore and the doctor said it was a minor break and could heal on it's on its own. Still she wishes she could have slapped a medical bill in Jinsoul’s face.  

Redoing a problem for the seventh time she groans when she gets the wrong answer. Math just wasn’t her strong suit. If this was a dance final she could rock its but unfortunately, the only dancing she was doing was the tango with her calculator. 

The calculator is making beeping noises as she furiously taps into it. Trying to see where she went wrong. She’s so focused on the thing she doesn’t notice the human calculator softly giggling at her frustration. Sooyoung freezes when she hears laughing behind her and jerks around to cuss out the moron who was making fun of her. Her protest dies in when she realizes it’s Jinsoul, smiling at her, and it’s not a sad smile this time.

Sooyoung swallows an extra-large lump in when the girl pushes some of her blonde her behind a cute ear. Jinsoul leans over making her hair fall over her shoulders and points at the chair beside her, “mind if I sit here?” Sooyoung takes about five seconds to come up with a decision. You hate her remember? You said you’d leave her alone right? “I’d much rather you leave me alone.” Jinsoul’s small smile quickly turns into a frown.

The girl thinks that Jinsoul will huff and walk away. What she always does. Ignoring her and pretending she didn’t exist. But Jinsoul does the opposite, she’s very aware that Sooyoung exists and proves her wrong by groaning and pulling the chair out to sit anyways. “I don’t care I’m sitting here whether you like it or not.” Sooyoung raises a brow and can’t help but smirk at the reaction. Jinsoul’s ears are red and her eyebrows are knit in annoyance. Jinsoul never talked back to her she usually just frowned and stayed silent.

It left her tummy in millions of knots. This was something new for her and it was very similar to feeling she had to whenever she’d spend too long staring at Jinsoul. Sooyoung leans back in her seat and watches the blonde take out her notes and such with a bit of an attitude. The notepad was slammed down and the textbook was flopped out, a pen was clicked at least ten times before Jinsoul sits it down. Sooyoung smiled harder at all the huffs of air coming out the blonde’s mouth.

Jinsoul had light makeup on and some round specs on. Her hair had a small blue clip in it to keep the loose strands in place. Sooyoung was close to spazzing out from how cute she looked. Jinsoul instantly went to work spacing her out, so Sooyoung definitely took the opportunity to gawk. To her brows turned upwards in concentration, the way her long eyelashes fluttered as she scanned the words from the textbook. The glasses sat on her nose and full cheeks and Sooyoung desperately wanted to squish them in her hands. The blonde was nursing her bottom lip in between her teeth, Sooyoung thought how she’d like it between own. Moving down she appreciates the curve of the girl’s jawline and then takes in her outfit. 

Jung Jinsoul was not a fashionista in any sense. Some days she’d come to school in lemon pants and a cartoon shirt. Some days she was wearing a normal outfit. Like shorts and a striped shirt…that was most days and Sooyoung started to wonder how many of those kinds of shirts Jinsoul had. But somedays she would dress pretty professional. Like today, the girl had a lite grey blazer and skirt on but of course she had to throw in a little color by wearing a baby blue button-up with small rubber ducks on it. 

Sooyoung wondered if she got that shirt in the kids section of the store. Suddenly she gets an idea once she spots the small heels, “Oh no Jinsnot you’re going to be late!” She looks at Sooyoung who is gasping at her watch. Jinsoul goes to see what time it is but Sooyoung jerks her wrist away, she stifles a laugh at the blonde’s confused look. “You better head to the station or you’re going to be late for the broadcast!” 

The older of the two thought it was hilarious since Jinsoul did look like the local meteorologist but the blonde wasn’t amused. “Sooyoung that was like an old person joke it wasn’t funny.” The laughing cuts short as Sooyoung feigns offense. Leaning forward she starts to pluck at Jinsoul’s clothes, “come on Diane Sawyer it was a little funny.” Jinsoul slaps her hand off every time she shuffles a piece of the fabric.

Sooyoung hates that her jokes didn’t land so she tries again, “Hmm the ducks kinda gives me more Ms. Frizzle though.” Jinsoul snorts at that one and Sooyoung internally celebrates. Sooyoung must have been leaning in too closely because Jinsoul pushes her away and tries to calm herself down by taking a deep breath before going back to work. Sooyoung watches her scribble down things and slowly starts to get closer again. Jinsoul groans and looks up from the paper and into her eyes. Sooyoung only raises both of her brows pretending she’s clueless of how annoying she’s being. 

“Can you let me study?” Sooyoung shrugs, “I’m not doing anything.” Jinsoul flares her nostrils as Sooyoung leans over further lowering herself so the blonde looks down on her. Sooyoung likes looking at Jinsoul this way. The blonde’s eyes seem to sparkle as they continue to have their little stare down and Sooyoung can’t help but let a small smile grow on her face. Until Jinsoul pushes her face away, inevitably shoving her nose in the process. Sooyoung cradles her face in pain as Jinsoul gasps realizing what she’s done.

Soft hands grab at her own and she pushes them away, pissed at the sudden throbs in her head from her injured nose. “Ow you ing dickhead that hurt!” Sooyoung glares at Jinsoul who is already teary eyed. Her lip is quivering and her hands are still wavering out into the air, Sooyoung wonders what Jinsoul wants to do so she lets her guard down and Jinsoul instantly reaches for her face. Sooyoung slaps the hands away, “stop touching me weirdo.”

Jinsoul sniffles, Sooyoung can’t believe her eyes as the crybaby starts to shed tears in front of her. Mumbled apologies and choked out wheezes instantly get on her nerves so she guesses she can be nice for once. Grabbing Jinsoul’s hands she places them back on her face where the blonde seemed to want them and Sooyoung blushes as a thumb starts to rub at her cheek. “I’m so sorry…how is it.”

Wincing when Jinsoul pokes at it she throws the hands back off of her. Why did Jinsoul want to hold her face anyways? The blonde seems to be upset at the fact that she’s no longer pressing at Sooyoung’s cheeks and sadly looks to the floor. Sooyoung is confused at the whole exchange and leans back to cross her arms. She wasn’t used to hanging around Jinsoul and she was totally not used to the blonde’s affection. It made her heart race way too quickly.

Shrugging she continues to glare at the blonde for her now throbbing nose. “Besides not being able to breathe and being reminded of how much an animal you are when I look into a mirror it’s fine.” Jinsoul raises her head at that and wipes at her tears. The reason she called Jinsoul ‘Jinsnot’ is because the girl cried too damn much. It seemed to happen more often around Sooyoung. “I’m sorry.”

“God stop apologizing it’s so annoying! I get it you feel terrible for wrecking my y face and showing everyone that you’re a feral beast but it’s okay it’s over.” Jinsoul groans and turns around to drop her head on the table. It shakes and Sooyoung jumps at the impact and just stares at the blonde. After a considerable amount of minutes, she goes to nudge at her shoulder only for her hand to get slapped away. Jinsoul suddenly surges up and faces Sooyoung again much angrier with a red spot on her forehead.

Jinsoul starts to poke in her chest spitting out words that make Sooyoung grimace, “I’m glad I broke your nose…but not that bad because your nose is really cute and I would hate if I made it crooked.” Jinsoul blushes and Sooyoung just stares into the walls of books. She…did Jinsoul just say her nose was cute? Really cute? Shaking her head she pretends to not hear that last part, “you’re so moody Jesus.” 

The blonde who was blood red from embarrassment goes back to being angry just like that, “because of you! You’re the one that brings it out because you’re so…” Sooyoung leans forward getting right in Jinsoul’s face. “Because I’m so what Jinsoul?” Sooyoung keeps her eyes on Jinsoul’s and deep down, her desires come out to play when the blonde’s dark eyes travel down her face and onto her lips. Sooyoung makes sure to them a little to captivate the blonde a little more. 

Sooyoung hears her swallow and smiles in victory and that seems to stir up Jinsoul even more. Dark eyes meet her own once more but they’re determined this time, “stupid.” Sooyoung bursts out in laughter and has to scoot away from Jinsoul for the clap back. “Wow, Jinsoul you really got me with that one.” She pretends that her heart is broken but really it’s full. The library was starting to get a little hotter from all this arguing they were doing.

She considered it more of play-fighting than anything. It wasn’t really that serious. The only thing that was serious was how Sooyoung wasn’t getting from all this. Jinsoul biting back was bringing her to a whole new level. Squirming in her seat she brings her face back to Jinsoul’s and the blonde doesn’t move a muscle although Sooyoung can see the sweat starting to form on the blonde’s brow. “I’m stupid?” Jinsoul nods and gasps when Sooyoung brings her arms to each side of her.

Jinsoul starts to lean back when Sooyoung places one of her hands on the chair and the other on the back of it. She had trapped Jinsoul and pulled the blonde closer by scooting her chair. “But you just said my nose was cute? Why are you being mean now?” Jinsoul's breathing hitches again and Sooyoung stares into darkening eyes. She guesses she can let her gaze fall down to parted lips that look so appetizing with the tinted ChapStick. Sooyoung wonders if it’s flavored.

When she looks back up, Jinsoul is breathing slightly heavier to where it’s barely noticeable, the blonde scratching at her skirt makes a small noise that fades out into the background. Her charm never seemed to fail with anyone. Even with the people that hate her the most. Sooyoung doesn’t want to ruin her since it’s embarrassing how she’s already getting this wet just by staring at Jinsoul’s lips and feeling how hot her breathe is,  so she grabs Jinsoul’s note pad and starts to rip through it. Jinsoul takes a second to react and goes to grab the notebook out of Sooyoung’s hand. She just stretches it out of Jinsoul’s reach making the blonde lean over top of her. 

Sooyoung has bite back a groan when Jinsoul comes so close the girl has to prop her knee on Sooyoung’s chair. If Jinsoul were to sit down right now she would be straddling one of her thighs and Sooyoung doesn’t know if she’d be able to handle it. Her body is screaming for her to pull Jinsoul down on top of her so she can see if the girl is getting by this just as much as she was but she knows it’s just a far-fetched fantasy. Jinsoul would never be attracted to her in that way. 

If anything that little moment they had a bit ago probably freaked Jinsoul out. She had to remind herself. They hated each other right? She stares at Jinsoul’s collar bones and at the small necklace dangling from them. There’s a tiny mole right beneath her right one and Sooyoung remembers how she used to rub her thumb across it. Suddenly Jinsoul being this close is too much as the memories start to flood in so Sooyoung has to make a quick escape.

 Sooyoung stands up almost knocking Jinsoul down. Sooyoung starts to skip around the table while Jinsoul frantically chases after her. She wonders what could be in this notebook that’s making Jinsoul freak out. Flipping through the pages Jinsoul tries to grab it but Sooyoung keeps a hand out to keep her at bay. Once she finds a page full of hearts she stops, but it’s ripped out of her hands.

Jinsoul goes back to sit in her chair. Sooyoung is faster though and sprints over to pull it out from underneath her. Jinsoul falls to her and screams reaching over to grab at Sooyoung’s leg but Sooyoung is quick and scurries back over to her chair. Jinsoul is giving her a death glare as she stands up and that’s when Sooyoung realizes she’s been laughing the whole time. There was something so fun about picking on Jinsoul.

Maybe it was how cute she looked when flustered or maybe how it was hot the way her voice got deeper as she yelled at Sooyoung. Maybe it’s because Sooyoung didn’t hate her as much as she said she did. 

Jinsoul just sits down and slams her notebook on the table. Sooyoung is a little scared from how pissed she looks. It’s just as the bad she got her nose busted. Slowly she makes her way to her own chair and sits down. Sooyoung doesn’t know what to do and just stares at the girl on her side. Suddenly Jinsoul reacts and pushes her over aggressively and Sooyoung flips out of the chair kicking the table in the process. Papers go flying everywhere.

Sooyoung laughs out loud and so does Jinsoul. Sooyoung doesn’t know why she’s laughing so hard but tears come out of her eyes. Looking up at Jinsoul the blonde is covering trying to hide the fact that she’s laughing. Soon it’s over when the librarian comes over and tries to kick them out. But Jinsoul stands up and apologizes to the woman and bows. The old lady seems convinced and leaves them alone for now. 

Kneeling up Sooyoung starts to collect the papers from the floor and picks up the chair that Jinsoul knocked over. Glancing up she feels every hair on the back of her neck stand up and every nerve tingle. Jinsoul opted out on just bending over to collect her things and Sooyoung was sure she was gonna start drooling if she stared any longer. 

Jinsoul bends over even more making the skirt lift up. Thank god it wasn’t tight or Sooyoung wouldn’t be able to control herself, cutting the study time short to run home and take a cold shower. Continuing to gawk she accidentally groans out, “goddamn that’s…” such a nice skirt Sooyoung thinks. Yes, Sooyoung thinks that Jinsoul has a very nice skirt, and within that skirt, there’s a very nice . Jinsoul turns around and Sooyoung jerks her gaze back down to the floor. “What is it?”

Sooyoung nervously laughs and just mumbles out something, “Oh nothing just a paper cut.” 

“Really? Let me see.” Sooyoung panics, what was Jinsoul going to think if she didn’t have a paper cut. Quickly she slices her finger open with a piece of paper and winces. Jinsoul is currently digging through her bag so Sooyoung rounds up the rest of the falling papers and lays them on the desk before sitting down.

Jinsoul sits down and holds up a Scooby Doo band-aid and jerks her head down to get Sooyoung to lift her finger. Sooyoung does and lets Jinsoul patch her up, it’s nice. For Jinsoul to show a small amount of care, “I can’t stand you Sooyoung.” She barely catches it and continues to stare at her now iced out finger. 

I can’t stand you either Jinsoul.

Sooyoung sighs, “Then you shouldn’t have sat here.” Jinsoul pushes her hand away and looks her in the eyes before going back to her textbooks. 

“I thought you would be mature since I beat your but it seems like you’ll never change.” Sooyoung frowns at this remark. It stung. Only a little though. Thinking that maybe she should stop bothering Jinsoul so much she turns to her own work. Seconds of silence turns to minutes and minutes turn to an hour. They’re actually studying this time but Sooyoung can’t stop thinking about Jinsoul’s words. She’d never change? Did Jinsoul want her to change? She had already changed once because of her and now the blonde wants her to do it again. 

Jinsoul seems to notice her frustration but only thinks it’s the math she’s trying to do. The blonde leans over and it snaps Sooyoung out of the tiny war that was going on in her head. “Do you need help?” Sooyoung shrugs and rests her head on her hand before pushing her notes over to Jinsoul. She doesn’t even try to pay attention to the blonde’s words.

She thinks about the last hour or so. How Jinsoul just magically appeared and talked to her. How the girl was playing along with her like they were friends or something. She and Jinsoul would never be friends though, would they? So why was the blonde acting like this around her, when they’ve barely spoken a word to each other in the past several years? Jinsoul didn’t like talking to her she didn’t like being around her so why now?

“Why are being nice to me today?” 

Jinsoul pauses in her explanation. Sooyoung sees the hesitation in her features. And that’s when it all comes crashing. This high feeling that Sooyoung was getting from just being around Jinsoul. Seeing the girl laugh and smile at her. When she decided to be more playful with the blonde than rude. She should have never let Jinsoul sit down. This is what happens when you’re not a to people, they take advantage of you. 

“I…because I have to.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes. What kinda explanation was that. “But you don’t have to.” 

“I do.” Sooyoung watches the girl break and so does she. “For our coach and the team.” Right. Jinsoul was only playing into her fantasy of them actually getting along because she had to. Not because she wanted to. It was too weird for them to be hanging out like this. It was out of the norm for both them and while Sooyoung actually enjoyed it, actually wanted this, Jinsoul only did it because she felt like she had to. 

She wanted Jinsoul. She wanted to stop being so mean to her. But how could she when the blonde constantly disappointed her like this. When Jinsoul would never like her no matter what she was like. She would always act this way around her because she had to. The only reason why she was mean to Jinsoul is because it evoked something real out of the girl. But even now that was starting to become blurred. What if she'd never be close to Jinsoul again even as enemies?

Did Jinsoul hate her? Or did she even give a about her? Sooyoung didn’t know which was worst.

“So not because you wanted to but because Coach V told you to.” Jinsoul doesn’t answer. Only hanging her head in shame. “From now on leave me alone Jinsoul.” She goes to grab her books from the blonde’s hands but they’re in a tight grip. Sooyoung lets out an exhausted sigh, “it’s okay at least you’re trying, it’s not like I actually deserve your kindness.” 

Her books are hard to jerk out of Jinsoul’s hands but finally, they’re set loose and Sooyoung quickly packs up, “I promise I won’t cause problems anymore. You don’t have to force yourself to be nice to me, I'm not a good person.”

Sooyoung lifts her bag onto her shoulders, “You don’t have to pretend. I know you hate me. But today was nice kinda. It made me think we could actually be friends.” Sooyoung would always be an to Jinsoul and Jinsoul would always be a shadow to Sooyoung. She’d never reach the real Jinsoul who was high above in the clouds while she was stuck on earth. 

Walking off she thinks, maybe things won’t ever change. Even though today even though it wasn’t the best, it still allowed Sooyoung to taste how sweet it could really be. The way she feels about Jinsoul will never change. Things would always be this way though. Every step they take forward, they would just end up three steps back. No matter how big of a step forward they take. 

Back in the library, Jinsoul has her fists clenched still. Today was nice. It was so fun being carefree with somebody that she’s missed. Just a small moment of them forgetting that they’re supposed to hate each other, a small moment of forgetting who they were and what had happened in the past. Because Ha Sooyoung wasn’t holding her typical grudge against her in.  

Her insults were playful and meaningless, Jinsoul knew by the small smile on her face. The one she hasn’t seen in years. It’s the one that’s not mocking or full of disappointment. But genuine happiness. It let Jinsoul have her own go. And in the first time in years, she felt good. Sooyoung always made her feel good.  

When she was not pissed at her that is. But Sooyoung was always pissed at her. No matter what. It would never change. Sooyoung would always hate her.   

She thought today could be the change in that. For them to start moving on. That would never happen though would it.

I can’t stand you Ha Sooyoung.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes I feel like I don’t make sense so I hope this makes sense? Hmm…anyways Jinsoul and Yves definitely have a past obviously. But now to the real plot hehe now that it's started. That’s all goodbye :D XOXO