“Don’t tell me you’re a picky eater Sooyoung.” The woman across from her stirs her noodles up before taking a bite. Sooyoung only pokes at her fried pork cutlet.

It’s not that she wasn’t hungry. “I’m not that hungry.” She was nervous.

Her coach continues to stir the noodles, even though they really don’t need it. Vivi is flowing through the action as if it was just a distraction for Sooyoung. “You said you needed my advice? Or was this only for you to get a free meal.” The older woman glances up for the first time and snickers when Sooyoung grimaces at the eye contact. 

“No, I did. But now I’m not so sure I should admit it.”

The waiter comes by and refills Vivi’s cup, Sooyoung’s doesn’t need it since she hasn’t touched hers. “Admit what? That you need advice or the problem itself.” The words strike Sooyoung in a strange way. She’s never admitted that she needed help, just her problems. It’s better to have someone listen to her and give her some sympathy, there’s no guilt of burden as there is when you ask for help. 

“Both.”

Vivi hums and starts to eat and that’s when Sooyoung thinks the conversation has ended. She starts to eat in small bites. Then bigger ones when she’s sure Vivi isn’t going to say something else. 

Right when Sooyoung takes the biggest bite Vivi asks a question she isn’t prepared for, “where is Jinsoul? Honestly.” Choking on her food some people stare. Vivi only offers her the glass of water she’s neglected. Sooyoung accepts it and chugs it desperately, coughing when she’s in the clear again.

Sooyoung sits the water down, “thanks.” But she doesn’t answer, she’s secretly hoping her near death experience was enough of a reaction for Vivi to not push further. 

“So? Where’s Jinsoul.” 

She stops eating all together, putting down her chopsticks to lean back into her seat. “I said she’s sick.”

“She’s sick right, I’m sorry I don’t really buy it.” Vivi draws on and elegantly eats her food. “I spend most of my summer training you girls, I think I know you all pretty well.” Sooyoung swallows her reply, it wasn’t going to work no way. “I’ve known Jinsoul for a while, she’s too stubborn of a person to let something like that make her miss practice, if you could remember the first summer I had with you all, she had weirdly broke her hand, it didn’t stop her then.”

Sooyoung wants to roll her eyes, “she’s really sick, can’t get out of bed.”

Vivi looks up, “have you been in her bedroom?”

Blushing Sooyoung glances everywhere but the woman staring straight at her. A sweat breaks on the back of her neck. “No, we just talked over the phone.”

“I thought you two hated each other.”

“We moved on from that.”

“How so?”

Sooyoung scoffs, “you ask too many questions.” 

Her coach hums and takes a bite, slowly chewing. Sooyoung is getting pissed. This was a mistake, her coach has always been annoying like this. “I have to if I want to get to the truth.” 

“Fine. She wasn’t sick.”

Vivi smiles at her victory. It makes Sooyoung sick herself. “She was running away from the past.” 

Her coach raises a brow, “what a dramatic thing to say.”

Sooyoung starts to feel her blood boil, “seriously? Like you haven’t been dramatic before?” Her coach waves her off with a limp hand and continues to eat. Sooyoung is tired of this conversation and starts to leave. Vivi could have her food, she could stick is right up her a-

“You still haven’t told me what’s been bothering you.” Sooyoung freezes on her way out. Debating on whether to reply or not would be a good idea. “You know, Jungeun has quite the blabber mouth.” Sooyoung’s color fades from her face. Jungeun knew almost everything. Rushing back to her seat she inches closer so she can whisper.

Vivi isn’t affected by the promixiety, if anything she accepts it. “What did she tell you?”

Her coach hums, “I didn’t know I had two pairs of lovers on my team.”

Sooyoung’s knees hit the table and Vivi only raises up to avoid the splash of her drink. “Then again, you two are a lot more complex than those lovebirds. Jungeun and Jiwoo have never caused problems however,” Vivi glances up, her eyes glossed. “You and Jinsoul are starting to piss me off.” Sooyoung has never actually been afraid of her coach but now…she can’t fight the chills that run up and down her spine.

“I asked because my star players have been absent, even when they’re on the court. So of course I asked Jungeun and Jiwoo. It’s amazing how much they spilled. Seems like they’re fed up too.” Sooyoung swallows harshly, “I’m not worried about the team. I’m worried about you two and if you will be okay. I don’t need the details, I need a yes or no.”

Staring down at her food she’s suddenly hungry, a lot hungrier than before. “We’re okay.” 

“Good.” 

“It’s just that…” Sooyoung begins but then stops. She isn’t sure if she should rant to her coach. “I don’t know, it's a lot honestly.” 

Vivi puts down her chopsticks, “I have time if you do.” 

Sooyoung blushes at the sincerity, “okay...okay.” 

Scratching at her head she rethinks their history. She remembers it differently now. Since this morning she’s been thinking of all the things she might have missed. Clues that were hidden. She always looked at the surface of Jinsoul. How the girl seemed to hate her, but she never paid attention to the details that proved the exact opposite of that. 

Jinsoul really did love her all that time despite pushing her away. There must have been times where that mask had slipped from her face. There must have been a moment where Jinsoul wasn’t pretending. When the secret wasn’t so much of a secret no more. Sooyoung felt stupid for never noticing, for not searching closer. She wanted to know where she missed it. How she never figured it out.

“Me and Jinsoul’s always been together.” Sooyoung starts.“Ever since we’ve been kids.”

“But this is the first time I feel like she’s finally mine.” 

Sooyoung breathes out. And holds it for the rest of the time she’s telling their story. The one she’s never fully told yet. Sooyoung doesn’t think she ever will.

It’s not a story she’d like to remember. She only wants to keep the good parts to memory.

And the rest of it as a faded thought. 

~~~~

Sooyoung sweats much harder when Jinsoul returns the next day. Body covered only by a sport bikini. It’s like she’s nervous for the first time all over again. When she developed that silly crush on Jinsoul all those years ago. Vivi smiles at Jinsoul, “heard you was pretty sick. Take it easy today.” Jinsoul nods at her coach and barely looks at Sooyoung.

Jiwoo and Jungeun squabble on the other side of the net. Hyunjin stares directly at the sun out of boredom. “God Jiwoo stop. I don’t need that much sun screen.” Jungeun whines out and Jiwoo just keeps lathering on the lotion. 

“The last time you got burnt all you did was complain. My ears are tired Jungie.” The blonde rolls her eyes and stares at the two ahead. Jinsoul and Sooyoung stand at least three feet apart. Awkward as they’ve ever been.

Jinsoul counts grains of sands. Droplets of sweat roll down Sooyoung’s neck. “Um hey.” The taller of the two speaks first waving out her hand. Jinsoul finds a spec of black in the sand. 

“Hi.”

She loses the spec when Sooyoung shifts her feet. Jinsoul trades the sand for Sooyoung’s skin. Counting the moles on her body. There’s one near her belly button. One on her hip. A few on her chest. There’s one on her left inner thigh and the back of her neck. Jinsoul’s kissed all of them. She knows the constellations of Sooyoung’s body better than the night sky’s.

The sand stuck to the sweat proves that Sooyoung’s already been practicing long before this. Her tired smile is just more evidence that she’s longed to see Jinsoul back on the beach. Because all in all, once upon a time. Volleyball was the only thing they shared. When Sooyoung was so desperate for them to share something. When she even tried to share the hatred that Jinsoul seemed to have for her. But now, it was something different. Something Sooyoung thought they’d never come together on.

It’s what makes her lungs work a little harder when her eyes stay too long on Jinsoul’s face. Sooyoung’s thought she’s always tried hard for them. Tried to not lose the connection between them, even if it meant breaking the one they had before and building a new one. If it took breaking the innocent love they had to create the understanding they had now so be it. Sooyoung felt like she knew every part of Jinsoul. Including the things she didn’t like about her, but she accepted them no matter what. Because Jinsoul’s accepted her in all her glory as well. 

The blonde laughs clearly lost for words, it takes her a second to regain her ground. “I don’t think Vivi is too mad at me.” Jinsoul turns and starts to stretch. Being out for over a week had her a little rusty. She was also hungry…there was no food in the house and she didn’t feel like getting out. 

Sooyoung matches her movements, reaching down to her toes. “She was worried more than anything.” 

Mirroring the blonde Sooyoung stretches her rib cage out, grunting when her spine pops. Jinsoul scoffs and rolls her shoulders, “I hate when people worry about me.” 

This is one of the things Sooyoung disliked about Jinsoul. Her belief that people shouldn’t worry over her wellbeing. “Can’t help to care about you Jinsoul.” 

Jinsoul, skinnier than usual stands straight, visible tension in her face. “You’re right, it's just...I don’t think I deserve it after all I’ve done.” Jinsoul picks at her bikini bottoms, her thoughts make her restless. She wasn’t able to sleep last night. 

“You don’t.”

Sooyoung moves over after she says that. Lifting Jinsoul’s arms up so she can stretch the blonde out. The shorter girl sighs at the warm but sweaty palms of her girlfriend. Sooyoung slides them up to her elbows and squeezes, “doesn’t mean nobody will stop caring for you though.” The tension leaves Jinsoul’s muscles as Sooyoung gently massages them. It’s relieving that she still had her best friend after all the mistakes and bad choices. She thinks this may be her third and final chance to not things up. Jinsoul wasn’t choosing anything but Sooyoung from now on. 

“Sooyoung.”

“Hmm?”

“Will you stay with me tonight?”

The strong hands leave her back and Jinsoul instantly misses them. Turning around she inches closer to Sooyoung, “I don’t want to be alone.” It’s a desperate plea, one that Jinsoul isn’t afraid to beg for now. She’s spent so many years suppressing her needs, the ones she’s wanted Sooyoung to fulfill. That she doesn’t think she can hide them anymore. 

Black eyes soften, Jinsoul’s wanted Sooyoung to look at her like that for years. And now, that’s the only way she looks at her. “I know you wanted space, but it’s hard when I’ve waited forever for this.” Jinsoul almost had it when she was fourteen. But it was ripped away from her. She was forced to stand on the sidelines, trapped, not being able to do anything. It felt like she was drowning everyday that she had to push Sooyoung away and experience her and her best friend becoming estranged. 

Being in highschool, watching Sooyoung try hard for her, was a trial of her patience. The only thing she did was watch the girl break. It was Jinsoul’s turn to break. “Please?” Jinsoul was so selfish.

Sooyoung her lips, looking around as if she didn’t already know what she was going to say. Of course she wanted to stay with Jinsoul. “I can give you your car back but…”

“Please Sooyoungie.” Jinsoul tickles at her tummy and the taller girl hides her laugh the best she can while pushing the wandering hands away. Holding Jinsoul’s hands in her own she swings them, smiling so hard it makes her jaw hurt.

Sooyoung really can't help it can she? “Fine, only if you do good today. I’ll come over.” Jinsoul bounces a bit on her toes before leaning over for a-

The whistle blows and they break apart like ocean waves. Vivi stares at them, “no flirting at practice.” Sooyoung fumes, Jungeun and Jiwoo practically, “and no. I don’t care that Jungeun and Jiwoo do it too.” 

Rolling her eyes she shrugs at Jinsoul and starts to warm up. Sooyoung knew she was silly to mention a bargain. Jinsoul plays the best she has in a long time. Sometimes Sooyoung can’t even get her hand on the ball for a few rally’s. Jinsoul keeps blocking Jungeun’s hits. 

One particular point Sooyoung is dashing towards the sand, almost gets it in . Jinsoul pops it over the net with her knuckles since the dig was so jagged. Jungeun’s still weak on her knee, she’s slow and doesn’t make it in time. 

As Jiwoo runs to get the stray ball, Sooyoung prefers to stay on the sand where it’s warm and comfy. And where she can see everything. Jinsoul nonchalantly picks a wedgie, Sooyoung laughs to herself and rolls over onto the sand. “.” The image sticks to her head and she can stop thinking about Jinsoul’s . It’s so…

“Wow that ball is kinda bouncy right?” Sooyoung didn’t even know she eyes had closed. Daydreaming about her girlfriend when she should be focused on other round things. Peaking one eye open, she’s pleased to see Jinsoul standing over her. The blonde’s ponytail slipped over her shoulder. 

Sooyoung’s head spins, “you’re pretty.” Jinsoul blushes and kicks sand in her face, spitting, groaning at the bit that got in she rolls back to her feet. Chasing after Jinsoul who was going on the net. “Sorry.” Jinsoul doesn’t turn around only waits for Jiwoo and Jungeun to stop strategizing. “You just look so good.” Sooyoung emphasizes by swiping the sand off Jinsoul’s body, which was totally not an excuse to touch her…

“You should focus on the game.” Jinsoul pushes Sooyoung away with a small smirk dancing on her features. Nodding her head, Sooyoung makes her way in her place. She liked the playfulness, how relaxed Jinsoul was. Staring at her partner Sooyoung does the exact opposite of what she tell her to.

Jinsoul was just too much of a distraction. 

Jungeun and Jiwoo struggle to keep up with the two on the other side of the net. With Sooyoung not letting the call drop, Jinsoul keeps plowing towards them. Jinsoul overheats in the sun from working so hard, Sooyoung rests her hands on top of her head. Her muscles tense from the exhaustion. Looking towards Jinsoul who isn’t even out of breath, Sooyoung gets thirsty from the site of the sweat glistening on her girlfriend’s body. 

Crossing her hands she calls out, “time out!” The two on the other side groan, thankful for a break. Vivi just keeps fanning her face from the heat. Sooyoung drags her feet towards the water jugs and gets a full cup, about to chug it, the cup is snatched right out of her hands. Knitting her brows she turns to see the blonde at her side. 

Jinsoul drinks it all in one go, “thanks babe.” Sooyoung’s throat cracks at the wink Jinsoul throws at her. Watching her walk off Sooyoung fumbles around to pour herself another cup, thirstier than before. 

Practice ends at dark. The best one they’ve had yet. Coach V is pleased and pats them on the back. Smiling harder than she usually is. 

Sooyoung picks on her sister as Heejin comes to pick her up, her sister is clearly embarrassed since her girlfriend only knows how to drive a moped. Sooyoung cracks up and snaps a few photos of her sisters grown on the back of the vehicle. The two putter off as Sooyoung waves. 

“Hurry, it’s getting cold.” Sooyoung doesn’t even realize she’s been standing there staring at the road for minutes now. Jinsoul stands behind her, in an oversized outfit. Her hair now in higher bun. Looking the blonde up and down, Sooyoung takes a deep breath and pounces on her girlfriend. 

Jinsoul screams as Sooyoung pesters her with teasing fingers. They don’t notice the small car parked a way off, staring them down with fierce intensity. Jinsoul squirms in Sooyoung’s arms, squeezing on her waist to try and persuade the girl to stop. But Sooyoung didn’t want to stop, how could she when she was this happy. 

The blonde drags her towards the car, shoving Sooyoung in the back seat. Sooyoung doesn’t even know how to react when Jinsoul climbs on top of her, kissing her senselessly. The door is shut with Jinsoul’s foot, and they both lose the concept of time in favor of learning every angle of the kiss.  

Sooyoung learns that this was more than she ever wanted.

~~~~ 

Jinsoul is still a little dizzy from making out with Sooyoung as she drags the clothes off her body. The smile on her face hasn’t left the entire time, not even when she accidentally smashes her finger in the washer. Sooyoung skips down the stairs at the cry for help. Jinsoul holds her finger up and Sooyoung instantly kisses it better, “wha happened?”

Frowning Jinsoul glances at the machine buckling, “it got caught.” Sooyoung kisses it again and pulls her into a hug, Jinsoul clings to Sooyoung’s shirt and breathes deeply. Her smell is addicting, Jinsoul buries her face into the source. It’s a mix of sweat and vanilla, something she’d usually find repluisive, but she loved it on Sooyoung. The girl’s presence surrounds her entirely. Like a thick fog that Jinsoul didn’t mind being lost in.

Sooyoung giggles when Jinsoul’s teeth nibble at the crook of her neck. Lifting the blonde up she spins them around, their feet scuffling on the concrete of the basement. With the roar of the washer, their laughs fill the space as well. And Jinsoul doesn’t feel the pressure anymore the one that’s always been on her heart. 

Later, when they’ve eaten and showered. Jinsoul pushes Sooyoung into her bedroom playfully. The whole evening they’ve spent has been less of words, and more of stolen glances and soft touches. Sooyoung almost trips on her way in, “wowwww you really wanna get me in here don’t you, what’s on your mind Jinsoul?” Sooyoung lowers her voice seductively and Jinsoul would be affected by it if she wasn’t laughing so hard. 

Sooyoung trips and Jinsoul finally gives her some space. The blonde goes to flop on her bed. Her sheets warm and clean. She’s expecting Sooyoung to flop on top of her but she never does, glancing over towards her lover. Sooyoung is staring ahead and that’s when Jinsoul realizes her mistake. Her plan was still on the white board, written in full detail.

“You’re leaving?”

It’s thick, the sound of her voice. Jinsoul sighs, “yeah, and I was hoping you’d come with me.” Sooyoung jerks her gaze to her eyes. Jinsoul is sincere. “I won’t leave without you.” Sooyoung swallows hard and blinks back tears. “I know you’re graduating in December. I’m waiting until then. And that’s when I’ll ask you. If you’ll runaway with me.” 

Sooyoung nods. All the scribbles on the board just doesn't make sense. “Why do we have to run away?” 

“We don’t have to, it’s just a suggestion.” 

“I asked why. Not if we’re going to or not.”

Sooyoung steps closer to Jinsoul. Knocking their knees together, looking down into the blonde’s eyes her heart aches but not for herself. Jinsoul’s stare visibly hardens. 

“You really wanna know don’t you?” 

~~~~

Hours later, Jinsoul flinches every time one of her mother's fine China pieces shattered into tiny bits of pieces. It’s like a reflection of herself throughout the years. Sooyoung takes the bat and breaks the most expensive piece. That’s the pieces Jinsoul will used to glue herself back together, from the years she’s been broken again and again she’s lost a few pieces of herself. She’ll need new ones to be whole again.

Sooyoung wipes the sweat off her brow, the girl has always had a temper. “Stupid ing-.” Jinsoul closes her eyes when the whole display comes to a fine dust. Sooyoung keeps grunting as she beats down on the glass. Over and over again. 

Jinsoul tries to not blame herself for Sooyoung’s anger. 

~~~~

Next week on this poorly written telenova...we will find out why Yves is busting up Jinsoul’s mom’s fine china! Haha bye~