Chapter 17

 

YOONGI: Hey, are you up?

SUMI: Yeah, what’s up?

YOONGI: Namjoon and I leave for America tomorrow… are you busy?

SUMI: Busy? No.

YOONGI: Do you… want to come to say goodbye?

YOONGI: Sumi?

SUMI: I should be able to.

YOONGI: Promise.

SUMI: Huh?

YOONGI: Promise me you’ll be at the airport to see us off.

SUMI: I promise.

YOONGI: Good :) I’ll see you at the airport tomorrow at 9 am. We leave at 11 am, so don’t be late!

 

Yoongi stares at his messages from last night. He definitely told her to come to the airport at 9 am with the others. He also told her they are leaving today.

So… where is she?

Yoongi glances at the time. It is 9:33 am. He has called her and sent her many messages since 9 am.

 

YOONGI: *Missed call from Yoongi*

YOONGI: *Missed call from Yoongi*

YOONGI: *Missed call from Yoongi*

YOONGI: *Missed call from Yoongi*

YOONGI: Hey, where are you?

YOONGI: *Missed call from Yoongi*

YOONGI: Are you stuck in traffic?

YOONGI: Everyone is here… why didn’t you get a lift with them?

YOONGI: *Missed call from Yoongi*

YOONGI: Sumi?

 

They decide to check their bags in and go through to the restaurant area with the others to make sure they don’t miss their flight.

 

YOONGI: *Missed call from Yoongi*

 

“Yoongi…” Yoongi feels a hand on his back and turns around. Jungkook is eyeing him warily. Jennie and Namjoon are nowhere to be seen. They must have run off to get food.

“Yeah?” Yoongi says, hanging up his phone. Why isn’t she answering?

“Are you trying to call Sumi?” Jungkook asks.

“What do you think I’ve been trying to do for the past hour?” Yoongi snaps, opening his phone to see if she has replied. She hasn’t.

“Sorry…” Jungkook pouts and heads to a seat in the restaurant area. Feeling guilty, Yoongi follows him.

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi murmurs as he takes the seat across from him, “I’m just…”

“Sad?” Jungkook supplies, looking off into the distance, “Depressed? Betrayed?”

Frowning, Yoongi nods. Jungkook appears bitter and agitated. What is going through his mind?

Hoseok sits between Jungkook and Yoongi, silently watching the exchange.

“Hey, Jungkook…” Yoongi sighs, “If she doesn’t make it today, could you tell her I love her?”

Jungkook looks at Yoongi, a strange look in his eye. After a moment, he nods.

“Of course,” Jungkook leans forward, still looking very serious, “But… I don’t think she’s coming,”

Yoongi looks away from Jungkook’s bitter eyes, trying to control his own emotions. Of course, he needs to hear this right now. But he doesn’t want to hear it. He wishes to believe she is stuck in traffic, or at a meeting that she forgot about. Maybe she slept in?

Yoongi doesn’t want to accept the reality of the situation; that Sumi might have decided not to come. That she doesn’t want to see him one last time. That she has given up on him already.

 

“I know,” Yoongi sighs and smiles, “I’ll just call her when I get to America,”

“That’s a great idea!” Hoseok chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.

“That’ll be expensive…” Jungkook smiles, an almost envious expression on his face, “You should get an American Sim card first,”

“Already got it,” Yoongi grins as he points to his bag, “I gave my new number to Jennie… I hope she answers,”

Jungkook gives a look that clearly says, “I doubt it,” but he smiles and nods anyway.

 

 

A few moments earlier…

 

“Namjoon,” Jennie tugs on Namjoon’s sleeve. They have just passed security and are following a frantic Yoongi into the restaurant area, “Can I talk to you?”

Namjoon nods, gesturing to an area near the food court. It has a railing and a window overlooking the bag check-in area on the ground floor. Other than people passing by in the food court hallway, they are completely alone.

“What’s up?” Namjoon asks, pushing his hands into his pockets and looking at the ground.

Jennie blushes but holds her resolve. She decided last night that she has to tell Namjoon her feelings today. She would not be able to live with herself if she never got to tell him. Especially if he brings home a girlfriend. Jennie would not be able to live with herself.

She decided that no matter what he says in return, she will feel better. Whether he rejects her, puts her down, or ignores her feelings, she will still tell him. If he knows, then Jennie has at least tried. This way, she has 3 years to get over him before she has to face him again.

Here it goes…

 

“There… there is something I want to tell you,” Jennie says. She pauses, letting these words set in. He nods silently, still looking at the ground. Jennie clutches her chest as panic flutters around her body. Her fingers start tingling with fear, and she wants to turn around and run away. But it’s too late now. She has to finish this.

No matter what he says…

 

Jennie clears and takes a deep breath.

Just blurt it out!

3… 2… 1… go!

 

“I… I like you! I like you a lot!” Jennie says loudly, “I just wanted to tell you before you left so that I know that I tried and I understand if you don’t like me back, that’s fine I don’t care. I just wanted you to know so that I don’t feel any regret,” Jennie spews out a string of words with no particular start or end. She takes another deep breath and relaxes a little. Namjoon remains silent, staring at the ground still.

“Why do you like me?” He murmurs blankly.

Jennie feels her heart banging against her chest as she tries to understand why he’s asking such a thing. Does he also like her? Is he curious? Is he angry?

What sort of question is that anyway?

Jennie blushes and stutters out a response.

“W-Well… You’re s-so nice to me… and I guess I just started falling for you… I… I don’t know… You’re talented and an amazingly nice person… I don’t know,” Jennie mumbles into silence, feeling more and more pathetic as the silence stretches between them.

Why did I say all those things! I should have just walked off! Jennie reprimands herself, feeling more and more stupid by the minute.

 

Suddenly, Namjoon smirks and looks up at her. Jennie gasps, surprised to see a tear sliding down Namjoon’s cheek.

“N-N-Namjoon?” Jennie stutters, feeling flustered.

“Why did it take you so long to tell me?” Namjoon asks gruffly. He moves closer to her, his arm sliding over the railing to her waist. He looks down at her with tear-filled eyes. Suddenly, it hits her.

“Do… do you like me too?” Jennie asks, quite bravely.

Namjoon nods. Jennie squeals as he pulls her into his chest, clutching her tightly. After a moment of feeling startled, Jennie slides her arms around his waist, pulling him closer.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” He mumbles, “How long have you liked me?”

“A year… I think,” Jennie murmurs against his chest, filling herself with his scent and the relief of being reciprocated. Namjoon groans with frustration.

“I’ve liked you for 2 years… why are you telling me now?” He asks.

“You tell me off… you just… don’t seem to like me,”

“I reprimand you so that you don’t make any stupid mistakes because I worry about you. I try to ignore you so that you don’t think I like you and hate me for it. You should have told me sooner,”

“Well,” Jennie scoffs, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I didn’t think you liked… okay, I see your point,” Namjoon chuckles as he pulls away just enough to look down at her. They stare at each other for a moment, smiling serenely. After a moment, Namjoon’s smile slides from his face. He takes a step back, holding onto Jennie’s hands.

“3 years is a long time…” Namjoon murmurs, fiddling with her fingers.

“Hey,” Jennie lifts Namjoon’s face by the chin so she can look him in the eyes, “I will wait for you,”

Namjoon smiles and takes her hand, holding it against his chest.

“Promise?” He murmurs seductively, moving closer and closer.

“I promise,” Jennie grins, “Will you wait for me?”

“Only…” He grins mischievously, “Only if you let me kiss you before I go,”

Her heart beating faster than ever before, Jennie nods. Namjoon immediately closes the gap between them, placing his lips on hers with such ferocity that people passing feel sorry for the couple. They are obviously saying goodbye.

Jennie meets his enthusiasm with even more energy. Namjoon wraps his arms around her body, pulling her into his chest so she is flush against him. Jennie brings her hands up his chest, onto his neck, and into his hair. Namjoon groans with pleasure as she starts running her nails over his scalp.

Jennie pulls away, breathing heavily. She rests her hands on his neck. Namjoon’s breathing is just as heavy, but they are not embarrassed.

The small spark has grown into a decent-sized flame, ready to burn forever inside them.

They stand there in silence, oblivious to the staring around them. They take this moment to fill themselves with the love they need to last the 3 years. Happily holding each other for as long as they need to.

 

 

“Where were you guys?” Hoseok asks as Jennie and Namjoon find them in the restaurant area. Yoongi notices they are holding hands.

“We… had to talk about things,” Namjoon replies. He sits beside Jungkook while Jennie sits beside Yoongi. Yoongi goes to give Jungkook a confused look, only to find Jungkook glaring at the table.

“So… how long do we have until we need to head through security?” Namjoon asks, clasping Jennie’s hand across the table.

Still watching Jungkook, Yoongi replies.

“We should head there in 10 minutes,”

“Aww,” Jennie pouts, looking down at their entwines hands. Yoongi feels a sudden flare of jealousy looking at them. He wishes Sumi was here to say goodbye to him, but he has stopped trying to get in contact with her.

She must have a reason.

 

“So, how’s medical school?” Namjoon looks to Jungkook expectantly. Jungkook closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. For a moment, Yoongi is worried he’s going to say something to them. But instead, he smiles at Namjoon sincerely.

“It’s very difficult, but I’m glad I have Jennie to help me,” Jungkook smirks as Namjoon’s expression turns cold.

Watching on, Yoongi has finally figured out what is going on. Jungkook must like Jennie, but Jennie and Namjoon have finally told each other their feelings.

Yoongi knew of Namjoon’s feelings for Jennie, but he never noticed Jungkook’s feelings. He must have been good at hiding it.

Or I’m oblivious.

Hoseok is oblivious to all of this. He nods along to Jungkook’s statement as if what he said was simply a factual statement instead of a provoking attack.

“I see,” Namjoon looks to Jennie and smiles coldly, “I hope you make more friends at medical school,”

“Of course,” Jennie grins. She doesn’t seem to notice the tension between Jungkook and Namjoon.

What Yoongi really wants to know, and is planning on asking Namjoon later, is whether he knew of Jungkook’s feelings before this.

 

“Right, I think we should get going,” Yoongi stands, followed by Jungkook and Hoseok. Jennie and Namjoon stay seated, watching each other. They are lost in their rose-tinted world, unaware of the movement around them.

“Guys?” Jungkook demands, breaking their bubble. Jennie gives him a very hurt look, whilst Namjoon smirks triumphantly. Yoongi didn’t see Namjoon as a jealous person. But knowing he’s about to leave her with him for 3 years must spark some insecurities.

“We’ll meet you near the gate,” Jennie says, “We’ll say goodbye here,”

“Alright,” Yoongi looks at his watch, “Don’t take too long,”

Yoongi turns away with Jungkook and Hoseok.

“Hey, Jungkook!” Jennie calls out. Jungkook turns to look at her, a little frostiness in his voice.

“Yeah?”

“I’ll meet you guys out the front, okay?”

Jungkook nods and follows Yoongi away.

 

They reach the security gates fairly quickly. The line isn’t too long, so Yoongi isn’t too worried. He turns to look at Jungkook to find him looking down at the ground.

“Hey, Jungkook?” Jungkook looks up as Yoongi approaches him.

“Yeah?” Jungkook mumbles. Yoongi places his hand gently on Jungkook’s shoulder, giving him a warm smile.

“Don’t let your first love ruin your life,” Yoongi’s heart aches as he continues, “You’ll find someone better, okay?”

Looking a little startled, Jungkook nods. Hoseok frowns at their exchange, looking more confused than ever.

Yoongi nods as well, turning to the gate.

“I’ll see you guys later!” Yoongi calls back, smiling at the only friends here for him. Jungkook waves and turns away, heading to the front of the airport. Hoseok jumps around excitedly, calling out to Yoongi.

“Have fun! Send lots of updates!” He cheers. Eventually, Jungkook walks back to drag him away from Yoongi, looking more than a little embarrassed.  

Yoongi laughs, watching them go. He misses them already.

 

A few minutes later, Namjoon comes running up to Yoongi. Even though he’s leaving his first love for a long time, he is smiling happily.

“So… finally grew some balls?” Yoongi snickers as Namjoon punches his arm playfully.

“Shut up,” Namjoon lowers his voice, “She confessed to me,”

“Wow!” Yoongi grimaces, “That’s even worse!”

“Shut up!” Namjoon pushes Yoongi. They chuckle as they reach the front of the line, their passports and flight tickets in hand.

Yoongi looks behind him one last time. He can just see the front door from where he is. He pans around the room, searching for any sign of her. But of course, she’s not here.

He turns away, quickly brushing his face with his sleeve.

 

 

I can’t do it… I can’t do it… I can’t do it…

Sumi watches her phone ring and ping for 2 hours. She has 10 missed calls from Yoongi, a missed call from Namjoon, 3 missed calls from Jennie, and hundreds of messages from each of them.

 

NAMJOON: Hey… he’s waiting for you.

NAMJOON: Are you really not going to come?

NAMJOON: Call him.

 

JENNIE: Hey! I thought you said your mum is taking you.

JENNIE: Do you need a lift?

JENNIE: Sumi? Are you okay?

JENNIE: So… this is it, huh?

 

The last message Sumi receives is from Yoongi.

 

YOONGI: Are you coming?

YOONGI: *Missed call from Yoongi*

YOONGI: I’ll see you in 3 years… wait for me.

 

Sumi throws her phone away from her.

“!” She screams before climbing into her bed and burying her head into her pillow. She had every intention of going to see him off. But something, something deep down inside her, stopped her.

After the talk with Jennie, Sumi’s head has been all over the place. She loves Yoongi so much, but a part of her believes that this is the end. That it is time to move on.

Occasionally, Sumi would genuinely prepare herself for moving on. She collects all of the things that remind her of Yoongi – not all of them being presents from him.

But when she reaches the bin to throw them out, she can’t do it. She brings the box back inside and hides it. Right now, it is under her bed.

She feels like she is in mourning for someone who hasn’t even died yet.

 

When her brain swings the other way, Sumi starts imagining marrying Yoongi. What she would wear, where they would go… but these moments don’t last long. Her delusions come crashing down when she remembers that they just aren’t suited for each other.

Yoongi needs a girl who is able to be herself. He needs a girl who is able to wait and able to love him more than she can. All she gives him is pain. Maybe this time should be the last.

 

She picks up her phone a few times, ready to message him that it’s over. But then, she puts the phone down. She picks it up again, ready to give him any excuse for not seeing him on his last day in Korea. But she puts it back down again.

 

At around 4 pm, after hours of Sumi breaking apart, Jennie calls.

 

“Hello?” Sumi answers croakily.

“Sumi? Oh my god! Where have you been? What happened?” Jennie’s hysterical voice makes Sumi hold the phone away from her ear.

“I couldn’t do it, Jennie,” Sumi sobs, “I couldn’t go there when I don’t even know if we should be together anymore,”

“Hey, calm down,” Jennie sighs, “I understand… this is because of what I told you right?”

“Yeah… it is…”

“I’m sorry for making you so confused but… I guess a part of you is ready to move on…”

“How was he today?” Sumi asks quickly, “Was he sad?”

“He looked pretty disappointed… but I was kind of… caught up… in stuff,”

“What stuff?” Sumi asks.

“I told him… I told Namjoon that I like him!”

“And?” Sumi asks eagerly.

“He likes me too!”

“That’s amazing!” Sumi giggle before gasping, “So you’re in a similar situation as me! What are you going to do?”

“Well… it’s not that similar…”

“What do you mean?”

“Namjoon and I don’t have any issues. I can wait for him, and I know he’ll wait for me. But you two just spent weeks worrying the other will cheat, or leave,”

Sumi doesn’t respond. The situations are quite different. But she needs reassurance.

“Should I wait for him?”

“Ask yourself this: Imagine he starts dating another girl. How does that make you feel?”

Sumi considers this for a moment. If he did date in America, it would go against everything he said to her. She would feel betrayed but at the same time relieved. But which one is really her?

“Honestly… I think I’d be relieved…” Sumi sighs, “We should end it… shouldn’t we?”

“Well the correct answer is betrayal, not relief, so yes,” Sumi can hear Jennie sighing.

“Should I message him now?”

“Better to get it over and done with… just don’t regret it, okay?”

“I know… thank you, Jennie,”

“I’ll see you later!”

“Alright, bye!”

Sumi hangs up, opening up her chat with Yoongi, thinking. If she messages him now, he will call her and message her for a long time, making her feel guilty. He may even push her into getting back together, which would not be healthy.

She decides to message him now anyway and then go change her phone number.

 

Is this too cruel?

 

Sumi pushes this thought aside, typing up the message she wants to send. After almost an hour of typing and changing, Sumi has the message she wants to send him.

 

SUMI: I’m sorry for not turning up. To tell you the truth, my head is a mess right now. Half of me wants to see you, to hug you, to kiss you. But the other half is realistic. The other half of me knows that we are just not good for each other. I hurt you and you hurt me. Our relationship is toxic and unhealthy. You were right that day. I’m sorry to do this after you thought we had decided on a break… but after so much time apart I’ve realized that what I really need is for you to be happy. You won’t be happy with me. I won’t be happy with you. Hopefully, we can grow as people and when you return we might be able to date again. If not, I hope we can be friends. I wish you good luck in America and I hope you are happy.

Goodbye, Yoongi.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don't worry, this isn't the end! 
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