"Chae?" 

I looked at Bom unnie beside me, we are on our way to her hause, since I insist that I'll drive her home. I learned that she's not living with her parents now since her new management want's her to stand on her own again and they want to help her copping up with her situation which made me hapoy that finally, Bom unnie found people that really cares for her, people who can threat her better. She deserve it anyway.

"Yes unnie?" I asked and focused on the road. Dara keeps on telling me that no matter what happens I should focused on the road while driving. By the way, she's the one who patiently teach me how to drive.

"I heard what what yoy said to Dara inside her room"

I took a glace on her but she's looking outside.

"Dara is not the same Dara Chae. If you're thinking that the Dara you left is still the Dara you saw earlier, you're wrong" She said full of seriousness.

I had to pulled aside my car since it seems that Bom unnie and I are going to have a long talk. I'm confused of what she's saying actually.

"What do you mean unnie?" I asked.

"I don't know, I just witness how she was changing day by day after you..." she paused for a moment and look at me "After you left her"

I suddenly felt a hard tugged inside my chest. It still stings, like it just happened yesterday.

"Why did you left her Chae?" she asked all of a sudden.

I sighed, I'm trying to think of a right word to explain my side. It's not the first time that someone asked me why did I do that and I don't know how to answer each of anyone of them but this time, it's different. It's Bom unnie who's asking me. The person who sticks with Dara and I until the end, a person who's but than a friend but a sister to us. Dara's bestfriend and our unnie.

"Did Dara told you what happened on the day we broke up?" I asked, my voice is cracking.

Bom unnie just shake her head telling me that Dara didn't tell her anything. I closed my eyes... After all I did to her she still tried to protect me. Gosh, what did I do to someone like her? I'm so ing stupid.

"All she said to me that time is, you wanted to be alone" Bom continued.

I keep quite, this really broke my ing heart. Why Dara? Why do you choose to be this kind even after I distroy you?

"I don't believe that it's just like that. I know the both of you for a decade now and I won't bite that excuse, specially when I saw how Dara almost ruined her life after you flew to US"

I felt my tears dropping. I didn't know how much I hurt her that night, no one told me or had the guts to atleast update me of what happened to Dara after I left. 

"Tell me Chae, what really happened that night?" 

I standing outside Dara's family house, she's been living her for months now since I'm always out of the country and she told me that she feels alone on our own unit. Yes, we are living together.

I just came home yesterday to fix something about my contract in YGE, there are conflicts now since my US debut will be happening soon. I supposed to be happy since my dreams are nearly comming true but after what Sajangnim told me this morning I felt my energy gone drained.

I promised Dara that we'll going home tonight and we're going to have dinner somewhere since it's been 3 months since we last saw each other. 

It's been 6 years... 6 long years together. 6 long years of having each others back, 6 years of happy relationship. How am I supposed to tell her what Sajangnim told me earlier? Would she understand me again? Would she agree of this plan? 

"Babe!" She greets me with all smile, her beautiful smile that captures my heart everything she's flashing it in front of me.

"Hey" I said and imediately wrapped my hands around her waist. God... Help me.

"Hey... What's happening?" She asked but she still let me hug her.

I feel my tears run down, it's so ing painful. Before I let go of her, I secretly wiped my tears "I miss you" is all I can manage to say.

Her smile even became more larger.  "When did you become a cry baby huh?" She joked but I can't find my self to laugh or even chuckled.

"Come here" She pulled me closer and landed a kiss on my lips. "I miss you too and I love you"

I was just looking at her the whole time, how could I do this with this person? I mean, she's too kind and she loves me more than anyone in this world.

"Aren't you gonna go inside before we go?" She asked.

I just shook my head. I don't know how can I face her family knowing that I will do something that might hurt their precious Dara?

"Okay, I'll just going to get my things. Wait for me here okay? I'll be quick" She said and smiled.

I was just looking at her, she's like a kid excited for her first field trip. I felt a deeped cut inside my heart.

She was about to enter the house when she look back on me....

"I love you" She lovingly said.

I can't help my tears to run out, fortunately it was dark so she unable to see it.

"I love you too" I said and force a smile. , it really hurts.

Remembering those scene made me cry more, I felt Bom's hand on my back trying to comfort me. It's my first time opening this even Harin can't force me to tell her what really happened.

"So I'm right. It's not just because of what Dara has told us" I heard Bom said and sighed.

"It's partly true unnie" I said "But it's more of because I choose my dreams over her"

After we eat dinner, I brought Dara to Hangang Park near Han River. Since it's almost midnight so there are no more people aside from us. She sat on one of the picnic table there while I just stood back facing her, I was looking at the beauty of Han River in this kind of hours.

"Chae? Is there anything wrong? you seems quite the whole time" I heard Dara.

I tooked a deep sighed. I don't know how to tell her, I don't know if she would understand me this time. I closed my eyes when I feel her arms sneaked around my waist, she's back hugging me.

"What's the problem babe?" she asked me.

I tried to open my mouth but no words are coming out. I'm afraid that any moment now, I'll lose her.

"Come on, you know you can tell.me everything right?" she said.

I put every courage I have, I need to tell her now or she'll hate me more if she'll going to learn it from others...

"Sajangnim talked to me earlier" I said carefully.

"Uhum... You told me you'll him this morning... So what's up?" she said. I feel like my knees are getting weaker.

"we need to break up" I said while closing my eyes. I feel Dara loosen her hug on me then I heard her laugh.

"Okay? That's kind of a weird joke there babe" she said after.

I felt my eyes getting wet. "I'm serious Dara, he told me that my american label won't allow me to debut if we are still together. They say it will not help my career to grow specially if people will knew about us"

With that, she suddenly fell quite. I turn around to see her, she was just looking at me with a smile.

"Ofcourse you fight for us right? You'll never gonna let anyone to distroy us. I know you babe so I don't have to worry" She said full of faith in me and that crashed me even more.

"I... I tried to fight for us but..."

"But you choose to gave me up" she finished my words.

I saw tear drops from her eyes, it's breaking me even more. I hate myself.

"Your dreams are..." her voice is trembling "are bigger than me" 

I tried to hold her but she pushed me away. Damn.

"Dara no... Please listen to me" I cooed her but all I can see is the fire in her eyes. I was taken a back, it's the first time I saw that kind of emotion in her eyes.

"I... Dara... This is my dream and you know how much I waited for this moment to come" I said calmly.

"How about me Chae? Did you think about me? About how I feel?" She asked.

"I do. Believe me I tried to fight for us..."

Do I? Do I really fight for us? Yes Chae you did but you surrendered easily remember? You did not fight the way you fought your love for Sandara the first day Sajangnim found out your relationship. You bacame coward earlier and you let your fear conquer you... The fear of lossing everything you've been working out the whole year. You literally said okay to them right?

I saw her sit down again on the same spot she swas sitting earlier. I walk and kneeled infront of her.

"I'm sorry..." I said and cried.

She remained silent, she was just looking at me but I can clearly see the pain in her eyes.

"Please understand me Dara... I worked hard to get this" I'm holding her hands. 

"I'll go home" she coldly said and stood up. I almost fell on the ground when she forcefully snatch her hand on me.

She was walking away from me but I quickly run to catch her. I hold her wrist that made her look at me.

"Dara please understand me... I promise after I debut I'll try my best to get us back together... Just wait for me" I beg.

She looked at my eyes and jerked out. no... I won't let this night over that we're like this. It might be the last time I am going to see her this year. I hold her arms to stop her from walking.

"Please... Try to understand me..." 

"!" I was startled when she scream, more because she curse. She barely curse in front of me or I must say she never cursed infront of anyone.

"I'm always understanding you Chaerin, I've been understanding you all this time" and she began to cry. I swear to God, I almost wanted to kill myself for hurting her like this. 

"Tell me what kind of understanding you need? It's always you! It's always about you!" she was pointing on me with angry "I need to accept that you have big dreams and I really do support you, always!"

"Just this one... please understand me again babe..." I ducked my head. 

"And then what Chaerin? I'm so tired of understanding you and your needs. Tell me when was the last you try to asked me about my feelings? Of how do I feel being always away from you? Tell me when coz even me, I can't remember the last time you did that"

I cried harder after I heard that. I realize how much I set aside her, of how selfish I am for not even asking how she felt.

"I don't know what to do" I cried "It's my... It's my dream Dara"

"So you already decided" I heard how her voiced cracked. It's full of pain and agony.

I can't speak, I don't know what to say anymore or how to explain myself.

"Tell me what more do you want Chaerin" 

I was shocked with the coldness of her voice, I looked up to her but I can't see any emotions right now, she was staring at me blankly. She's not crying anymore.

"Babe please... Just wait for me... I'll find a way for us soon" I pleed.

"If you go to US on tuesday, then I already know what you choose" she said and walk away.

I tried to catch her but she's pushing me away, she calls for a taxi and in few minutes a taxi came in front of us.

"Dara..."

"I'm tired of waiting for you to prioritize me Chae, it's all up to you now" She said and went in on the taxi. 

I left there crying. I don't know what to do. I feel stupid for the first time in my life. God knows how much I love Sandara but my dreams are now in front of me, the dream I once shared with her.

"So you really choose your dreams over her" Bom looks disappointed.

"That was my biggest regret unnie. After I flew to america I felt empty. I feel like I left a part of me here in korea. I don't know, I just felt like there's always something missing." I said while looking down.

"But you seems happy those days" Bom said.

I smiled bitterly "I do. I'm happy but at the end of the day, I still look for Dara. When I was in the bed and I'm alone I keep on wishing that Dara will call me and asked me how was my day just like how she always did before but who I am to expect that right? I'm the one who choose to leave and left her" Once again, my tears can't stop from falling.

"But why you suddenly quit? I mean, you're doing good that time... You're slowly being recognize by the north people, you gave up Dara for that right?"

"I got depressed after the rumor of Dara dating Jiyong oppa. I lost my interest in music, I was just locking myself on my room. I'm drinking everynight with my friends hoping that I can forget the pain of totally lossing the person I love with my own bestfriend. It also came to the point that I do depress eating which was the reason of my sudden weight gain before. I don't really think that Dara can replace me so so when the news blow up, I feel wrecked. I know it's my fault and I can't do anything about it" 

"Chae..." Bom tried to comfort me.

"I know it's my fault and I don't have any rights to be hurt but it stings like hell and I feel hopeless. I'm still in contract with my american label and I can't just go back to Korea and get Dara back." I sighed remembering how much I wanted to go home that time.

"Dara and Jiyong are not and never dated Chaerin" 

"I just learned that when Jiyong oppa visits me in US. He explained everything and that's why I am here now. I'll try to get Dara back" I half smiled.

"Don't you think it's been a long time now Chae?" Bom asked that maked me look at her.

"What do you mean unnie?"

"I'm just thinking why you never comeback earlier when you know that you still have a huge change of getting her back. Like after your contract's ends with that label"

"I admit that I tried to just forget about Dara since that time, I still believe that they are really dating. I tried to live my life there as an ordinary person and I momentary became happy with my set up but one day I felt really lonely again and no one could make me happy or even smile and there I realize that I still need Dara in my life because she's my happiness."

We fell silent, Bom is just looking at me while I'm looking outside.

"Do you think I still have a chance?" I asked.

"I told you, Dara is not the same anymore. I'm just hoping that it's not yet late for you" She sighed 

That leaves me thingking of what Bom unnie means by that. She seems really serious of telling me that Dara really changed a lot and based on her expression, it's not in the good way.