Sunlight streamed into the bedroom. It was 2am when Chanyeol hit the pillow and 10am when he woke to the gentle aroma of coffee and bacon and toast. He groaned and shoved his head under the pillow. His phone was under there as well. He had wanted to hide from all contact with his real life but at the same time he couldn't bring himself to turn it off. He checked his notifications. Missed calls from Suho and Kyungsoo. Two voice messages. His social media notifications had blown up overnight. The feeling of being hot gossip was tragic. He knew the public would be eating this up. Pictures of him coming out of the jewellery store while his boyfriend was in bed with someone else were everywhere. The media would be having an absolute field day.

He listened to the voice message from Suho and sent him a quick text back saying he made it safe, and he would be staying for a week, and not to ask him to come back to the city. He needed respite. He deleted the voicemail from Kyungsoo and skimmed over the texts. Lots of regret but none of love lost, of sadness, of pain. Kyungsoo was only sorry he got caught and Chanyeol knew it.

He checked the charts and his social media. His metnions were through the roof. The media was strongly sympathetic towards him. The pictures of a shocked and sad chaneyol being rushed through the gauntlet of media outside the Vogue studio were everywhere. People were on his side and Kyungsoo was being portrayed as a heartless cheater and Jongin as a heartbreaking homewrecker. Chanyeol didn't want that but he had no choice. The media played their own games. He had three songs from his album in the top ten now. Apparently being publicly cheated on was good for business.

His face was puffy when he braved the bathroom mirror. His eyes were red and he looked like he hadn't slept a single wink. He splashed cold water on his cheeks an dit didn't help. He stripped off and stepped into a too-hot shower and watched in fascination as some excess red hair dye washed down the drain. It swirled around his feet like blood, the red mixing with the white foam of his shampoo, washing away with the thoughts of his future all palnned out. He washed his body and his face and brushed his teeth and prepared to face the day.

The town that had always seemed too boring and too quiet, too small to contain him, was just what he needed. He ate the offered breakfast but even though bacon was his favorite, and he hadn't eaten anything like that in months because of the Vogue shoot, it seemed dry and tasteless. He drank his coffee outside and drank in the morning sun as well. He was surprised to find himself joined outside by Sehun who's expression was, as usual, unreadable but today somewhat gentle. Chanyeol smiled briefly at him and was surprised to feel his younger brother's hand on his shoulder. "Sorry man. That's rough." Was all Sehun said but it was enough. Chanyeol knew deep down his btrother cared in his own way.

Chanyeol walked through town. He called in at the bakery and bought a bee sting. The local bakery was famous for them and they used to be his favorite. He had never needed comfort food more than he did that day and he carried his little bag containing the sweet cake and a can of Coke and his feet took him to the big tree behind Byun's Nursery. The old tree was a willow with low hanging branches and it was just outside the back fence of the nursery. Chanyeol leaned his back against the fence and took out his delicious sweet treat. He tried to eat it slowly but he handn't had something this delicious in forever. He had honey glaze and whipped cream all over his face and hands and only when he was finished did he realised he had no way of washing his hands. He at his fingers in an attempt to get rid of the stickiness and as he stood up he absentmindedly traced his fingers across the trunk.

——-

"Wow! Where did you get that?" Chanyeol l asked as Baekhyun pulled out his brand new pocket knife. It was shiny, with a black handle, and super sharp. "Dad got it for me. He said he wanted to wait until I was thirteen so I guess it's kind of a late birthday present." Baekhyun ran his fingers over the handle as Chanyeol watched on in awe. "I want one!" He said as his face filled with envy. Baekhyun's family didn't have a lot of extra money and neither did Chanyeol's. Treats like this were special.

"Can I try it?" Chanyeol asked and Baekhyun handed it over. Chanyeol dragged it through the bark on the tree, carefully carving his initials, making the PCY deep and neat. He looked over at Baekhyun watching him and added a neat BBH underneath. "If this was a drama you would carve a big heart around the letters!" Baekhyun laughed as he pulled two bee stings out of the paper bag he had carried in his other hand. He held one out to Chanyeol who took it and handed the knife back.

Chanyeol watched as Baekhyun closed his eyes and stuffed his face with the creamy treat, getting cream on the end of his nose and his cheeks, and dropping it on his shirt. "You're such a baby!" Chanyeol laughed as he pulled some tissues out of his pocket and wiped the cream from Baekhyun's nose. "No I'm not! I can clean my own face just fine." Baekhyun pouted and snatched the tissue from Chanyeol's hand and wiped his cheeks and his shirt. Chanyeol just watched him as he ate his cake being extra careful not to make a mess after he had just teased Baekhyun about it.

——-

Chaneyeol ran his fingers over the deep cuts of their initials that remained engraved in the thick bark of the willow. He remembered that day so well, the way he blushed when Baekhyun made a joke about drawing a heart around their initials, the cute way he got the cream everywhere when he ate. It was the first time he consciously knew the way he felt about his friend wasn't just normal friendship. The affection he had for Baekhyun went further than best friends, deeper than their constant companionship, and the realisation he had that day as he stood under the tree was terrifying.

Thirteen year old Chanyeol had wanted to draw that heart around their initials that day.

And didn't have the words to explain to Baekhyun that he loved him more than a best friend should.

Chanyeol choked back a sob as he heard a voice near the fence. It was Baekhyun. He could hear him talking on the phone to someone and must have come down to the back of the nursery to get some privacy for his call. Chanyeol sank to the ground and put his head on his knees. He knew he souldn't be eavesdropping but it was too late for that. He was already listening.

"How is he? Really? That's not good Sehun. Please keep an eye on him for me. I can believe that guy would do that to him? And to have it all over the media.......... Chanyeol must be so embarrassed and hurt............"

Chanyeol held his breath. The concern in Baekhyun's voice was palpable and its sincerity struck Chanyeol right in the heart. He was too fragile for this. He couldn't go back to the past, to confusing Baekhyun's friendly affection for him as something else, to misinterpreting his words and actions. He couldn't go through all that again. Not now when he already felt so vulnerable.

"Sehun. Don't be stupid."

Chanyeol heard Baekhyun's voice take on a different tone, one of defensiveness and slight annoyance, rather than the sweet concern he had just shown.

"I don't care. Ok? Not that much anyway. So stop being stupid. I'll see you tonight. Ok? I gotta go..."

As Baekhun's voice faded and the man walked away from him so did the glimmer of hope Chanyeol allowed to creep into his heart. Nothing had changed. Baekhyun still didn't care for him like that and he never would. The love of his life was with his brother, and the love he settled for was in love with someone else, and Chanyeol was standing under a willow tree alone and with nothing but his memories.