Baekhyun lay awake as he stared at the roof. His childhood room in his family home gave him more comfort than the cold grey bedroom of his marriage ever had. But on this night he tossed and turned in the cozy single bed as he searched for a peace he couldn't find. He had too  many questions. In the end he gave up, threw a hoodie on over his bare chest, and headed down to the kitchen for tea.

He was surprised to find his Mum up on the couch. "The kettle's hot." She said and Baekhyun went to the kitchen and poured a hot cup. Probably not going to help either of them sleep but they weren't anyway. "Is Dad restless?" Baekhyun asked and she nodded. Sometimes his sleep was so deep she would check he was still breathing. Sometimes it was restless and fitful and she couldn't get any herself. Baekhyun knew she would still rather sit up awake than sleep somewhere else alone.

"Chanyeol came to see me." Baekhyun said and she smiled. "I saw him too." Baekhyun couldn't hide hs surprise. "When? Why didn't you tell me?" She put her hand on his back and rubbed it like he was twelve again. "He was walking past. I'm pretty sure he had been around the back under that tree you used to love when you were kids." Baekhyun sighed and she continued. "I really feel sorry for him. He's hurt Baekhyun. I don't know if you can ever go back to the way you were but he really needs a friend right now."

Baekhyun ran a hand through his hair and fell back against the couch. "What about me? What about all the times I needed a friend? He was off in the city becoming rich and famous and I was stuck here." "Yes Baekhyun. I know he left you with a lot of questions. But maybe it's time to move on."

——-

"Im done." Taeyeon was in the bedroom throwing clothes and shoes wildly into a suitcase. "Don't bother." Baekhyun said coldly as he grabbed the case and upended the stuff back onto the bed. "I'm the one leaving. You can have it all. The house, the car, it's all yours. It's all you ever really wanted anyway." Her dark eyes flashed with a fierce mix of anger and triumph. "After all my family has done for you." She was seething as she picked the case up and began throwing his things inside it instead. "Imagine where you'd be if it wasn't for me. I made you who you are." 

She began tossing his shirts and pants in the case as he stood and watched her in sadness. She began to laugh as she added shoes and pants and anything she could find. "If it wasn't for me and my family you'd be driving a rusted old work truck around helping old ladies pick out just the right variation of rose for their garden." Tears filled Baekhyun's eyes as he was struck with the reality of what she was saying. She was right. She had made him what he was. An empty shell of his true self, he hated his job as a small town lawyer and he hated his bland soulless home, and most of all he hated himself for changing so much.

He missed who he used to be and suddenly he felt a huge weight lift from his shoulders. He began to quietly pick up his things and add them to the case. He was leaving. The last seven years had been a nightmare but when Chanyeol abandoned him for the city he turned to Taeyeon. She said the right things and did the right things and she made him feel special. She made him feel wanted and in Chanyeol's absence that was all he wanted.

He'd been watching Chanyeol's star rise from afar, allowing the town gossip to reach his ears was unavoidable, sometimes checking gossip sites and social media. To his endless fascination Chanyeol had always remained single, just like when they were kids, the lure of a beautiful woman had no effect on him. He seemed to make friends easily and had a lot of friends in the Industry but never anyone special. Sometimes he wondered if Taeyeon was the only one for Chanyeol. Sometimes he wondered if the jokes and rumours about him being gay were true.

As Baekhyun began to make his life his own again he couldn't stop thinking about Chanyeol. Memories of what they had haunted him everywhere he went. The nursery was full of happy thoughts, their childhood played out amongst pines and roses and violets, and their special hiding place around the back under the big willow tree. He sought comfort there when things got hard, when his Dad's illness overwhelmed him, when he faced the reality of having five years of marriage and nothing to show for it. He liked to walk around the back fence and trace his fingers across the bark and remember the day Chanyeol carved their initials into the bark. Every day he wondered if he just called him could they make things right? Could he get his best friend back in his life?

And then one day he picked up his phone and there was a link to a gossip site sent to him by Jongdae. He clicked the link and found a picture of Chanyeol proudly holding hands with another man. A short man, finely built and beautiful, with soulful dark eyes and full sweet lips. Chanyeol looked so happy as they walked along the busy city street seemingly uncaring about the fansites and media taking their picture. There was something about the way that Chanyeol looked in the photos that made Baekhyun see the old Chanyeol. And as he stared at a picture of Chanyeol holding this man in his arms he was reminded of how it felt to be that man, that short small man in Chanyeol's huge embrace, his tiny frame dwarfed by the giant's big body. He knew how it felt to press against Chanyeol's chest and feel his chin dig into the top of his head and he was suddenly overwhelmed with a longing for that feeling.

A few weeks later when he ran into Sehun and he asked him out for coffee he said yes. He just wanted a little piece of what he used to have and being able to go to the Park house and drive up the driveway, say hello to Mr and Mrs Park, sit on the big porch out the front was almost enough. And when Sehun put his arms around Baekhyun's body, when he pulled the short and finely built man into his huge embrace, when he pressed his chin into the top of Baekhyun's head and Baekhyun inhaled the clean lemon scent of Sehun's tshirt it was almost enough.

Almost.

——-

Baekhyun hadn't even realised he had started to cry. He curled up in ball with his head on her lap as she his hair softly like he was six again. Baekhyun had rarely let himself cry and all the emotions of the last year suddenly crept up and overwhelmed him. His Dad, his divorce, the reappearance of Chanyeol in his life. It was too much. He needed to get the truth because the one thing he had realised was that he needed Chanyeol back in his life and he needed the truth of what really happened and he didn't know where to start.