XLVI

Yongsun sees light in her dreams and is forced awake in the dead of night. falls open, she pants heavily staring up at the ceiling. She turns her head, seeing the indent from Moonbyul’s head on the white pillow. Yongsun reaches out, placing her palm on the place where Moonbyul had been sleeping, feeling the warmth lingering on the sheets. Yongsun sighs and gets out of bed, wrapping a blanket around her. She quietly walks to the living room where she spots Moonbyul in just her pyjama-pants staring out of the window.

Here is something to behold: Moonbyul staring out at the skyline in front of her, effortlessly blending into the City of Steel (this is the name Yongsun has given the city). The steel plates on Moonbyul’s back shine through the dark, she can easily be mistaken as a creation belonging to this city; some sort of fashion trend, an artefact from an exhibit, anything but human — a lesser, an object, a something and not a someone. Yongsun’s thoughts leave her breathless, tears stinging the corner of her eyes, she retreats to the bedroom where she tries to fall asleep, she shuts her eyes, counts to ten, then counts to ten again.

She wakes to the smell of coffee right under her nose, Yongsun opens her eyes seeing Moonbyul sitting on the edge of the bed, holding a warm mug for her. Yongsun takes it, hands shaking. Moonbyul leans over Yongsun, pressing a kiss to her forehead, then tucking a stray strand of hair behind Yongsun’s ear. Moonbyul leaves the room after whispering good morning. Yongsun had looked at Moonbyul when she spoke, had seen the momentary sadness in her eyes.

Yongsun’s grip on the mug tightens, she sips the coffee, hating the taste but loving the smell. She frowns as she thinks about the light that has returned to plague her. Yongsun is not scared, no (she stopped being afraid a while ago), she is angry and irritated. This is the moment Yongsun decides she needs help, the flashbombs have been following her for years, Yongsun wants to get rid of them once and for all so she seeks help, she goes to therapy, marking this as the downfall of the Theory of Life — everything changes from here on out.