XXXVIII

A few days later, Yongsun finds out that Ahn Hyejin, the nurse from the war, is the one taking care of Moonbyul. They had bumped into each other in the hallway, Hyejin dressed in blue scrubs, Yongsun in a hospital gown. They talked, as much as Yongsun could, and when they parted, Yongsun felt exhausted.

She stumbled to her room, reaching for the bed, using every bit of strength she could find to lift herself onto it. Her head pounded, she felt it throb when she placed a hand over her forehead. The war had not followed her in a while, the flashbombs had stopped flashing behind closed eyes but the headaches increased drastically and kept her from getting any sleep.

Yongsun wakes up in the middle of the night, panting, staring up at the ceiling, mouth parched, lips parted. She can not read on her hologram-pad to make time pass quicker, can not read the theories in her textbook, can not will herself to pick up a pencil and a sketchbook. In bed, she cries without tears, screams without sound, looses herself in the act of finding herself.

A while later she attempts to sleep, closing her eyes and waiting for the night to catch her. She wants to dream, yearns to run, not away from this place, not away from the capital, not away from her homeland but to somewhere, someplace, to solitude and home where Yongsun hopes she may get some sleep.