Dear diary, 

Today I was walking down a library aisle when I passed by Jisung and Minho. I stopped abruptly when I saw that they were kissing each other on the lips passionately. They looked so cute together. I smiled and walked away before the notice me looking.

But as soon as they left my sight my smile turned into a sour pout. Because I remembered how I wanted to do that with Mina more than anything. Tears escaped my eyes before I could realize they were falling. I cried silently but bitterly in my personal place in the library. 

I just knew that Mina would never want to be like that to me. She only thought of me as a friend, no matter how hard I tried to give her hints before. It's just fuking pointless. Mina's lips will never be mine to taste. She would never want to taste mine either. 

As I kept crying Mina suddenly saw me. I wiped my tears then greeted her awkwardly and left. I faintly heard her ask me what's wrong but I picked up my pace, pretending not to hear. I couldn't face Mina like this. Especially when I'm this close to breaking. 

I don't know what to do. Should I tell Mina how I feel and risk losing our precious friendship? That doesn't seem like a valid option at all. 

Yours, 

Chaeng